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Reader Submitted Posts, Sandra Lee »

50

Sandra Lee To Assist Hurricane Irene Evacuees
Posted on August 31st 2011 by FNH Guest Blogger

The Office of New York Governor Andrew Cuomo has announced that Sandra Lee, host of the popular Food Network program Semi-Homemade, has been appointed Director of the Governor’s Special Taskforce to feed Hurricane Irene evacuees.

Ms. Lee’s nephew Brycer, Press Secretary for the Taskforce, told reporters that Ms. Lee and her staff are currently preparing five thousand meals to be served in evacuation centers in the metropolitan New York City area. The meals will consist of mango honey chicken with mango slices, sausage and bacon kebabs, paradise crab dip wontons, roasted asparagus with cashew-curry mayonnaise, and grilled cheese dippers with spicy tomato-cheese soup. Desert will be delicious slices of a No-Bake Lovecake with a generous dollop of Cool Whip. For the occasion Ms. Lee has also created a special cocktail, the Hibiscus Hurricane, made from rum, vanilla vodka, guava juice, cherry-flavored cough syrup, and hibiscus tea.

The meals will be served on a Hurricane Irene tablescape, which includes cardboard beach houses with the roofs missing, flooded toy cars, and drowned French tourists made from toothpicks. All items used in making the tablescape can be purchased (or looted) from your local crafts store.

[written and submitted by FNH reader Blue Piano; edited by Jillian Madison]


Other posts on Food Network Humor:

---Hurricane Irene
---Will Sandra Lee Be First Lady Of New York?
---Sandra Lee On Election Night (With Video)
---Sandra Lee Regressing Back To Her Old Color Coordinated Ways
---Ridiculous Food Network Recipe of the Week: Ina Garten’s Iced Coffee

    50 Responses

  1. Deaner says:
    August 31, 2011 at 10:41 am

    “…with a generous dollop of Cool Whip”

    bwahahaha!!!

    Reply
    • buffy says:
      August 31, 2011 at 11:05 am

      Be sure and stir a teaspoon full of vanilla IN-to the Cool Whip, to get rid of that store-bought fllllllavor.

      Reply
      • JConnolly says:
        August 31, 2011 at 12:15 pm

        LOL….when you spell it like that, I can totally hear ol’ Sandy saying it EXACTLY like that in my head. Too funny.

        Reply
        • LauraS says:
          August 31, 2011 at 11:23 pm

          And as she says “flllllavor” she widens her eyes and gives you that sauced “doesn’t that sound fantastic?” look.

          Reply
  2. Rachel says:
    August 31, 2011 at 10:43 am

    Awesome!

    Reply
  3. PoPo says:
    August 31, 2011 at 11:24 am

    The table scape part made me almost piss myself.

    Reply
  4. Spork-no-more says:
    August 31, 2011 at 11:44 am

    Please say that she’s not really being given a publicly titled postion to help people. Most evacuees, hungry or not, would go straight for the cocktails, I’m thinkin’. Sandra’s food is a national emergency. Andy Cuomo, pull your head out.

    Reply
    • Mom2Feebs says:
      September 1, 2011 at 6:48 pm

      I wish all New Yorkers that voted for this no-talent ass clown would reconsider their vote next time. The man clearly has no judgement. Sandra-effin-Lee. Really. How is *that* little sparkler in the sack? Methinks a cold fish indeed. One that is probably topped with a horrid Ritz cracker crumb-cheez whiz concoction.

      Reply
      • shorty j says:
        September 2, 2011 at 9:11 am

        the guy kinda did strong-arm gay marriage into existence, so I’ll give him props for that. For the ability to make the world’s biggest mistake with my girlfriend, I’ll tolerate a little Sandra Lee ;)

        Reply
  5. JConnolly says:
    August 31, 2011 at 12:20 pm

    I love the addition of cherry cough syrup in the cocktail. You can find it at any local drug store (just make sure you get the kind from behind the pharmacy counter….the stuff they keep on the shelf just doesn’t have the right kick to make this cocktail really speshhulll)

    Reply
  6. Charlie says:
    August 31, 2011 at 12:49 pm

    The picture frightens me…

    Reply
  7. Mike says:
    August 31, 2011 at 12:50 pm

    Now THAT’S Food Network humor!

    Reply
  8. LaLa says:
    August 31, 2011 at 1:07 pm

    The cocktail has 2 non-alcoholic ingredients (juice and tea)… that is at least 1 too many for an Aunt Sandy drink!

    Reply
  9. Grammarnazi says:
    August 31, 2011 at 1:18 pm

    You spelled dessert wrong in the article.

    Reply
  10. qwertygirl says:
    August 31, 2011 at 1:21 pm

    But is the menu SUPER SUPER SIMPLE to make? Is it also SODAlicious? Also, there seems to be a lack of seasoning packet use. You know, these things are your BEST FRIENDS in the kitchen–in there you’ve got salt, pepper, spices, herbs…and it would be so expensive to buy all those things separately. Just pop that on there, and it’s ah-MAY-zing.

    Reply
  11. Mike says:
    August 31, 2011 at 1:48 pm

    I was looking at all the NE towns that were flooded and I kept asking myself “where is the rioting”, “where is the looting”, “where is the mayhem”. Those people are all calm, resolute and intenet on helping themselves and their neighbors.

    Now, Sandra Lee is getting involved. If that doesn’t bring the anger and lawlessness, nothing will.

    Reply
    • Di says:
      August 31, 2011 at 2:20 pm

      Yes amazing isn’t it how orderly and well-behaved everyone was in face of disaster – as opposed to London,for example lol.
      But agree that being forced to eat Sandra’s food might set them over the edge.

      Whatever – good luck to them all in NE

      Reply
    • Youdontneedtoknowmyname says:
      August 31, 2011 at 4:08 pm

      its cause we were actually prepared

      Reply
    • amber says:
      August 31, 2011 at 6:51 pm

      My family and I live in eastern PA. We weren’t hit THAT hard, but we did go without power for several days. My parents live in a high-crime area, and I was truly impressed with how people in my old neighborhood acted during the power outages. People were going out of their way to be friendly and helpful, and in the years my parents have lived ther, Ive NEVER seen such actions. It was great to see… and for once I DIDNT feel like I needed an Aunt Sandy cocktail after 10 minutes of being there.

      Reply
  12. mkeller819 says:
    August 31, 2011 at 1:53 pm

    Awesome!

    Reply
  13. Kim says:
    August 31, 2011 at 2:28 pm

    The tablescape description made me snort diet Dr. Pepper up my nose.

    Reply
  14. Ferd Berfle says:
    August 31, 2011 at 2:51 pm

    Well done, Blue Piano and Jillian!

    Reply
  15. Youdontneedtoknowmyname says:
    August 31, 2011 at 4:07 pm

    Sandra Lee and Gov. Cuomo are dating how cute

    Reply
  16. Suz says:
    August 31, 2011 at 5:03 pm

    Sorry, but this one was a miss. I have a son in CT — Irene wasn’t something I could joke about. Not funny this time.

    Reply
    • Viv says:
      August 31, 2011 at 5:17 pm

      I’ve lived in South Florida most of my life, and I’ve been through dozens of hurricanes. Yeah, the aftermath sucks and I hope everyone’s alright and those who were displaced return to their homes soon.

      That being said, if you can’t laugh at life’s hurdles, you’re going to have a pretty shitty time.

      I hope your son’s okay!

      Reply
    • cloverleaf says:
      August 31, 2011 at 6:10 pm

      Jillian is also in CT (read her previous post about it) and recovering from the storm, but has managed to keep her sense of humor……

      Reply
    • Blue Piano says:
      September 3, 2011 at 9:45 am

      In fact, I wrote this in New York City in the middle of the hurricane. With public transportation shut down and everything closed, I had to do something to amuse myself.

      Reply
  17. Jeff B. says:
    August 31, 2011 at 8:08 pm

    Is it safe to drink vodka AND cough syrup at the same time?

    Reply
    • Fia says:
      September 1, 2011 at 9:17 am

      Is it safe to drink *anything* Aunt Sandy concocts?

      Reply
    • shorty j says:
      September 2, 2011 at 9:10 am

      speaking from youthful (read: completely stupid) experience? Oh hell no. Not unless you want to sleep for a really long time and then wake up with the worst headache ever. Although it ain’t bad if you’re a raging insomniac like me.

      Reply
  18. Bonzy22 says:
    August 31, 2011 at 9:45 pm

    lmao @ the gif

    Reply
  19. Sam says:
    September 1, 2011 at 1:47 am

    This is in very poor taste. Shame.

    Reply
  20. dopey85xxx says:
    September 1, 2011 at 2:09 am

    lmao!

    Reply
  21. Alexandrite says:
    September 1, 2011 at 6:29 am

    Not a Sandra Lee fan by any stretch, but this ain’t funny. Apparently this poster has never had his life disrupted by a natural disaster.

    Reply
  22. Rob says:
    September 1, 2011 at 8:49 am

    Minus the cough syrup, that cocktail doesn’t sound too bad!
    However, minus the cough syrup, it’s not enough for Aunt Sandy to keep her buzz going.

    Reply
  23. Summer says:
    September 1, 2011 at 7:35 pm

    Seriously, you people that are taking issue with this need to get over it. It was a natural disaster, which happens all the time. It was nowhere near the magnitude of the tornados in Alabama and Missouri, or the earthquakes/tsunamis in Japan. It would be poor taste in that instance because of the extreme loss of life. Crap happens.

    And yeah, like others have said – Jillian was in the hurricane zone! So get off of your high horse. Not everyone wrings their hands in despair over life’s hurdles. Some pull themselves together and move on immediately.

    Reply
  24. Jana says:
    September 2, 2011 at 12:00 am

    What in the hell is a Brycer anyways???

    Reply
  25. Diane says:
    September 2, 2011 at 4:01 am

    Fabulous!! LOVED the picture.

    Awesome idea about adding cherry flavored cough syrup to the cocktail. It’s that little extra something that makes you go, “Hmmmm….”

    Reply
  26. ttbfgfn22 says:
    September 3, 2011 at 5:34 pm

    That was funny.

    Reply
  27. Hakuna Fritatta says:
    September 7, 2011 at 10:07 pm

    I guess it’s obvious who she blew to get that gig.

    Reply
  28. em says:
    October 19, 2011 at 12:36 am

    I didn’t figure out that this was a joke until i got to the part about cherry cough syrup…I was honestly scared for a minute there.

    Reply

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