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Another 25 Hilarious Engrish Food Fails
---Funniest Food/Beverage Spelling Fails Of 2010
---Top 10 Turkey Cake Fails From Thanksgiving
---Ina Garten’s “Kid-Friendly” Food Fails
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Another 25 Hilarious Engrish Food Fails
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Other posts on Food Network Humor:
---Friday Fun: 20 Hilarious Engrish Food Fails---Funniest Food/Beverage Spelling Fails Of 2010
---Top 10 Turkey Cake Fails From Thanksgiving
---Ina Garten’s “Kid-Friendly” Food Fails
---Top 10 Unintentionally Hilarious Photos Of The Iron Chef Chairman
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57 Responses
Heh. “Husband and wife lung slice” is the actual name of the dish in Chinese. It’s just thinly-sliced beef in a light sauce, and it’s quite good. I guess it was named after a couple or something. Too bad it sounds so damn freaky in English…
Yup! Fuqi Feipian – it’s one of my favorite dishes, and usually not made with lung anymore. Often beef and beef tendon slices
Yup! I recommend all readers to try it at their local (authentic) Chinese restaurant. It’s a very tasty dish (a bit spicy though) if made correctly.
Sandra Lee strikes again with Ray Ray’s help.
Did I see something on one of the packages that said “Make lecipe velly goodry flom Sandla Ree.” ?
Naaaaah, must have been my imagination.
you had me at semen cannibis paste…
FYI – Semen cannabis is a gourmet Chinese herb often ground into a paste. In Chinese it is spelled 火麻仁湖, The “semen paste” is used for a kind of gooey bowl of black speckled pudding that tastes like sesame. Yummm … Delicious :)
This is definitely the season for stewing ass! ;)
Fa ra ra ra ra ra ra ra ra!
Stewing Ass = Donkey Meat. A popular delicacy used in China for sandwiches and stews
Actual Recipe for Husband and Wife Lung Slice
(serves 4 as a hearty appetizer)
The recipe in reality contains no lung meat – just brisket, tripe and tongue… Warning – this dish is very spicy (but delicious)
Ingredients
For the Meat and Broth:
* 4 ounces beef brisket
* 3 ounces of beef honeycomb tripe
* 3 ounces of beef tongue
* 2 quarts water
* one 2-inch cinnamon stick
* 1/2 teaspoon black peppercorns, crushed
* 1 tablespoon salt
* one 1-inch piece of ginger
For the Chili Sauce:
* 1 teaspoon Sichuan peppercorns, toasted and ground
* 6 tablespoons sesame paste or tahini (or 1/4 cup peanuts, crushed with a mortar and pestle)
* 1 teaspoon light soy sauce
* 3-4 tablespoons chili oil (oil and chili sediment from bottom of jar)
* 1/4 cup beef broth
* 1/4 cup roughly chopped cilantro
Rinse brisket, tongue and tripe in water and then place into a large stockpot. Add water to cover completely (About 2 quarts). Bring to a boil over high heat, reduce heat to low, and add cinnamon, black pepper, salt, and ginger. Simmer until tender, 2 to 2 1/2 hours. Remove from heat and allow brisket and tripe to cool in broth.
Meanwhile, make the chili sauce. Combine Sichuan peppercorns, sesame paste, soy sauce, and chili oil. Set aside.
When the brisket, tongue and tripe have cooled down, remove from the broth and cut on a bias into 1/8-inch slices. Add 1/4 cup beef broth to chili/sesame mixture and stir to combine. Dress the brisket and tripe liberally in the sauce, tossing to coat all the slices. Add the chopped cilantro and serve at room temperature. Leftovers may be kept in the refrigerator for 1-2 days.
There is a romantic story of the origin of the famous Sichuan dish named “Husband and Wife Lung Slices.” Guo zhaohua (the inventor) and his wife sold their spicy beef slices by trundling a small goods-carrying vehicle along the street in the early 1900′s. Because their beef slices were so delicious, no one can resist the charming smell in that street. Even though the recipe was a secret, the Chinese people from this region liked the food made by this couple very much, and so they gave it the name Husband and Wife Lung Slices. However in fact, the people of the area were mistaken, there actually are no lung slices at all, only meat from ox’s body, tongue, heart and head.
The Chinese say the names of their dishes focus more on appearance than taste or smell. But Westerners are more accustomed to names that describe the actual ingredients and how they are cooked — such as pot roast.
The name “Husband and Wife Lung Slices” was actually banned during the most recent Olympic games. Restaurants that served this dish were ordered to temporarily change it s name to a more western-friendly “Beef Slices and Ox Tripe in Hot Chili Sauce.”
tl;dnr
TooLate, DoNotResuscitate?
^^WIN^^
“The elephant of Canada pulls out, the clam stabs the body” is definitely my favorite. Sounds like some sort of secret code phrase two spies would exchange.
The best I’ve seen personally was a restaurant in Seoul, SK that advertised “All you can eat flesh meat buffet” (It’s a cookbook! IT”S A COOKBOOK!!!)
I suspect the “stir-fried rape” refers to some member of the canola family (canola oil was once known as “rapeseed oil”, IIRC). Still pretty dang awkward, though.
Actually, Edible Rape (Yu Choy) is different than the rape flower that is widely grown in the West and used for oil. Edible Rape in China is grown mainly for harvesting the young leaves and floweriare stalks, and both are used in many Chinese stir-fry dishes. It is very inexpensive, delicious, and widely available in American-Asian markets and on the Internet.
Oops…. floweriare = flowering
My Favorite is, “The pig neck burns, the turnip fucks rice.” (That poor rice!)
That is one f*#%ed up nursery rhyme!!!
This is a type of rice porridge or rice soup that is eaten in many Asian countries. One common variation is made with pork neck BONES and chopped Preserved Chinese turnips. The term “fuck” means either stirred fried or “mixed together”
The term “fuck” means either stirred fried or “mixed together”
So does it in English….
Stir Fried Vaginalis = Stir Fried Duck Tongue (PS: can anyone tell I am bored on this Saturday morning – but I have spent a lot of time in China).
Martin, your boredom is our gain …
Son of a nutcracker! Why the elaborate names? The food looks gross enough without naming it after a duck’s dork or whatever.
And You think you white people’s overwhelmingly buttered food (by this I mean, EVERY SINGLE FOOD) looks so appealing to other ethnic people?
Learn to embrace diversity in food and get your head out of your fatass, ignorant bigot.
The Elephant of Canada Pulls Out of the Clam Stabs Body = Chopped Canadian Elephant Trunk Clam (Geoduck Clam)
Fuck the Fragrant Chicken Cartilage = Crunchy Edible Fried & Dried, Flavored Chicken Cartilage (kind of like like Deep Fried Pork Rinds)
The Oil-Fresh Water Fish Fucks = Stir Fried Fish Bladder
The Fresh Shrimp Fries the Idea Powder = Air-Dried Freshwater Shrimp Powder
Black Pepper Cowboy Boner = Black Pepper Beef Ribs
Fuck Flavor Bamboo Shoot = Fried? & Dried Smoked-Flavored Bamboo Shoots
The pig picks the elder brother a cloth = Some Sort of Roast Pig Suitable for a Wedding or a Festive Occasion
Flesh Salada = Japanese Vegetable Salad topped with Udon Noodles and Tuna and a dressing
I’m gagging. I never eat Asian food as a rule because I hate soy sauce, ginger, teryaki, raw fish, mysterious pork product, rice and “brown sauce”, whatever the hell that is, and all the other usual suspects that are in absolutely everything but this is just beyond vomitous. Duck tongue? Honeycomb tripe smells like ass. Geoduck looks like a big shlong! Bobby Flay did a show about it and, bless his douchy heart, did all he could not to laugh. Can’t blame him at all.
WIFE CAKE: The Ingredients and the Legend
What’s in it: Candied winter melon paste, Coconut, Sesame, Lard or Butter, Flour and Sugar
The Legend: The origins of the Wife Cake involves the tale of a couple living in a small village in imperial China. While they lacked material wealth, they had no shortage of love for each other. Then tragedy struck, with the outbreak of a mysterious disease causing the husband’s father to become fatally ill. The couple spent all of their money on treatment to save his life, but to no avail. In the ultimate display of self-sacrifice, the wife sold herself as a slave in order to afford the continuing treatment of her father-in-law. Once the husband learned about his wife’s actions, he devised a pastry filled with winter melon and coconut in order to save his wife and buy her back. His cake then became so popular that not only was he able to earn enough to free her, but enough to save his dying father.
BURN THE CABBAGE MUSTARD IN VAIN
This dish features Chinese Mustard Cabbage (Gai Choy) that tastes like a cross between Mustard Greens and Bok Choy. This vegetable dish is a common side dish in Chinese Guangdong Cuisine. It features boiled Chinese Mustard Cabbage that is then finished by stir frying in a sauce consisting of sizzling peanut oil, ginger, shallots or green onions, soy sauce and sugar.
THE CHICKEN TASTES LIKE LEXUS
This is a “tag line” is part of an advertising campaign created by the owner of LA Chicken, Mr. Masamichi Kiyomiya. This restaurant is in Los Angeles. He says the meaning is obvious: “Lexus is the most expensive luxury car imported from Japan.” He says a customer told him, “…you’re Chicken so luxurious tasting its like the Lexus of chicken!” Kiyomiya was tickled by the idea, and his crazy chicken/Lexus campaign was off and running.
Mr. Kiyomiya also says the Lexus Chicken is very special because of the way they season it before they grill it — with a dry spice rub — and because of their “secret sauce.” He’d admit to rice vinegar, red miso and chilis being ingredients, but the rest is a closely-guarded secret.
So you see – everything makes perfect sense :) Well maybe everything except for PIMPLE SOUP. I’ll assume that it is referring to a popular asian soup known as “Pineapple” Chicken Soup. No pimples. just pineapples! Have a great night :)
Thanks for all the info Martin., That was very interesting!
:) I thought it might be interesting to at least some people, considering everyone on here probably has an interest in food or cooking. Plus. it was fun for me :) I love this site. It makes me smile.
I’m just here for Aunt Sandy haiku and the Giada porn.
Good job Martin, made me smile too but also it’s plain interesting to know the stories behind some of these dishes…
I found it very interesting too! :)
Personally…I prefer my lung slice with white rice instead of fried in my lung slice combo!
I once had it go down the wrong pipe and I literally coughed up a lung.
I’ll have a double order of that deep fried vaginalis!!! It will go nicely with those turnips that fuck rice!
Funny…but after I fuck my rice…it’s not my neck that burns….so I don’t know WHAT the fuck that sick bastard pig is doing!
The “Cock(S)” one is Korean, and it looks like it was supposed to be “Coke (S).” I see this misspelling a lot in Korea.
Maybe it was supposed to be chicken (small size) and chicken (large size.)
It actually says ‘cola’ in korean, so they definitely meant to write ‘coke’
Isn’t semen cannabis paste a delicacy in San Francisco?
Ahaha, oh Engrish (I’ve seen them too often when I was in China).
You guys may have noticed that the word “fuck” appears disturbingly often. The primary reason is because the character 干 has two meanings: “dry” and “fuck” (it has something to do with the simplification of Chinese characters). Whatever electronic dictionary they use probably shows “fuck” as the first translation instead of “dry.” This is why something as simple as “dried fruits” (干果) get translated to “fuck fruits” very often.
So 干干 means dry fuck?
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
I wondered the same thing! :D
I want to try this “semen cannabis paste”. It sounds interesting.
Deep fried vaginalis you say? I think I’ve got just the ointment for that.
Out of all the comments ^THIS made me guffaw loudly. Thankfully I’m home alone right now LMAO
I’ve tried Wife Cake before. Pretty nice.
Is it OK to mock Asians? I know you can’t mock most other races or persuasions. This is getting really old. Can we make this the last one please?
Ok Myra lets mock you instead! If you are so uptight you can’t laugh at some bizarrely described foodstuffs then yes, YOU deserve a good mocking!
Noone is mocking Asians, what is being laughed at is some wacky, if correct, translations.
Too funny! The ‘Pimple Soup’ made want to gag a little though.
I’m reminded of a restaurant I saw in Taegu, SK. They advertised the “Flesh Meat Buffet” as their nightly special.
Not as funny as “Fuck the Fragrant Chicken Cartilage”, I will admit. But enough that I decided to dine elsewhere that evening…
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To clarify, there actually is something called a ‘wife’ cake/biscuit in Asian cuisine. :) Forgot why it’s called that but it has something to do with weddings lol.
Hehe and I think the cock ones are referring to male chickens.
The rest are just plain hilarious and ridiculous! XD