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37

Did I Just Get Goatse’d By The Food Network Pumpkin?
Posted on October 3rd 2011 by Jillian Madison

THIS IS THE WORST PUMPKIN CARVING OF ALL TIME. Guys, we all just totally got goatse’d.

(If you don’t know what a goatse is, consider yourself lucky. Scroll to the next post. Continue living a happy, naive life. Do not google image search it. CAN’T BE UNSEEN! And thanks for sending the pic, Chris!)


Other posts on Food Network Humor:

---Our First FNH Pumpkin
---The Sandra Lee Pumpkin
---Food Network Humor Search Terms
---Google Auto-Suggestions For Food Network Chefs
---Food Network Humor Search Terms

    37 Responses

  1. Robby says:
    October 3, 2011 at 11:11 am

    that’s the very first thing I thought of, too!

    and with the eyes inside makes it even more scary….. whoever did it wins the challenge!

    Reply
  2. orchidgal says:
    October 3, 2011 at 11:24 am

    I had to think for a minute what you meant. But ewww!! Pass the brain bleach, please!

    Reply
  3. Lana says:
    October 3, 2011 at 11:29 am

    Not right!
    :-p

    Reply
  4. Ally says:
    October 3, 2011 at 11:45 am

    Oh crud muffins, I just Googled it. My eyes…MY EYES!

    Reply
  5. houstonray says:
    October 3, 2011 at 12:42 pm

    OK, i knew I’d have to google image it after you said not to and you’re right…some things are better left unknown…

    I never listened to my parents either, and I’m 46, why start now… but I wish I had listened to you!

    Reply
  6. stellapurdy says:
    October 3, 2011 at 1:07 pm

    why oh why did I google that. WHY????

    Reply
  7. Julie says:
    October 3, 2011 at 1:52 pm

    Aaaand I googled it. I so wish I hadn’t!

    Reply
  8. Hmm says:
    October 3, 2011 at 2:12 pm

    I was curious so I googled “What is a goatse.” The explanation was enough for me. Wow…

    Reply
  9. M.J says:
    October 3, 2011 at 3:26 pm

    I wish I followed your advice. IT CANNOT BE UNSEEN!!!

    Reply
  10. bunny69 says:
    October 3, 2011 at 3:58 pm

    Hmmmm…..Goatse……Sounds kinky…..

    Reply
  11. Ina Garten says:
    October 3, 2011 at 5:22 pm

    It is of a man stretching open his anus so far that it starts to reverse. Jeffery and I use it to get a bit more horny in bed.

    Reply
  12. Heidi says:
    October 3, 2011 at 5:22 pm

    OMG, someone hacked my employers account and sent the goatse pic to all the users. G-ROSS!

    Reply
  13. C.K. says:
    October 3, 2011 at 5:57 pm

    initially, i thought the terrible thing was someone carving food network into the pumpkin. as i read further, i saw the word “goatse”, and i instantly saw the fingers pulling. jillian is right. of all the things i wish i could unsee, goatse is one of them.

    Reply
  14. Amy says:
    October 3, 2011 at 6:16 pm

    What is a goatse?!?! I’m scared to search

    Reply
  15. joe says:
    October 3, 2011 at 7:26 pm

    didn’t listen to warning, would like a steel wool brush and sulfuric acid for my eyes please.

    Reply
  16. hairball says:
    October 3, 2011 at 9:14 pm

    oh lord

    Reply
  17. Teague says:
    October 3, 2011 at 10:06 pm

    First thing to do now is Google ‘goatse’.

    Reply
  18. Summer says:
    October 4, 2011 at 12:30 am

    I didn’t Google it! I Urban Dictionary’d it! :-D

    And yeah… no. Just no.

    Reply
  19. FuryOfFirestorm says:
    October 4, 2011 at 6:51 am

    Was this pumpkin served at a Lemon Party with Blue Waflles and Meat Spin by Two Girls With One Cup?

    Reply
    • Mel says:
      October 4, 2011 at 9:34 am

      Goatse is gross, but manageable. I have a very strong stomach.

      However… you, sir, have crossed the line by mentioning the Blue Waffle. To date, the ONLY thing on the internet that has made me want to Brillo my own eyeballs. The only thing that could ever be worse would be Ina Garten nudes.

      Reply
    • Amber says:
      October 4, 2011 at 2:12 pm

      I heard Two Girls bailed, but Tubgirl was there.

      Reply
  20. Numb says:
    October 5, 2011 at 11:34 am

    Goatse is by far my favorite internet pop culture item of all time – and I’m very sad at how unknown it seems to be these days. There was a time in the pre-YouTube internet that you said Goatse and 75% of the ‘net population knew exactly what you meant.

    Reply
    • Wade says:
      October 8, 2011 at 2:47 pm

      I know, this comment section is making me feel old. Nobody knows Goatse anymore and now I’m clueless on the latest disgusting things. No way in hell am I Googling blue waffles to catch up.

      Reply
    • Hakuna Fritatta says:
      October 10, 2011 at 2:50 pm

      Back when I was still bothering with the forums on my local Craigslist, some anti-gay douche was constantly posting photos of the goatse. Bleh.

      Reply
  21. qwertygirl says:
    October 5, 2011 at 1:02 pm

    Wikipedia also has an image-free explanation. For those who want to know, but don’t want to know.

    Reply
  22. Xploder says:
    October 6, 2011 at 2:30 pm

    DAMN! Chris needs a new hobby! Every time I see a really weird picture here, I just KNOW it’s gonna say “Thanks Chris!” at the end.

    Reply
    • Chris says:
      October 27, 2011 at 11:47 am

      I’m actually a Graphic Designer so I spend WAY to much time on the internet. I’m also the one who sent in the screen cap for the “Guy Fieri Shirtless” Google image search result that I got while looking for his knives.

      Reply
  23. BreeBreeTM says:
    October 12, 2011 at 4:12 am

    that… looks painful. lol.

    Reply
  24. Kinleigha says:
    October 21, 2011 at 10:30 pm

    Oh hell, I knew I wasn’t the only one who thought about that.

    I was sitting in the living room watching halloween wars when i saw it, and i was like “HOLY HELL GET IN HERE THERE’S A GOATSE PUMPKIN ON FOOD NETWORK” and everyone in my house besides my brother thought I was psycho

    Reply

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