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Did I Just Get Goatse’d By The Food Network Pumpkin?
Posted by Jillian Madison

THIS IS THE WORST PUMPKIN CARVING OF ALL TIME. Guys, we all just totally got goatse’d.

(If you don’t know what a goatse is, consider yourself lucky. Scroll to the next post. Continue living a happy, naive life. Do not google image search it. CAN’T BE UNSEEN! And thanks for sending the pic, Chris!)

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    37 Responses

  1. Robby says:

    that’s the very first thing I thought of, too!

    and with the eyes inside makes it even more scary….. whoever did it wins the challenge!

  2. orchidgal says:

    I had to think for a minute what you meant. But ewww!! Pass the brain bleach, please!

  3. Ally says:

    Oh crud muffins, I just Googled it. My eyes…MY EYES!

  4. houstonray says:

    OK, i knew I’d have to google image it after you said not to and you’re right…some things are better left unknown…

    I never listened to my parents either, and I’m 46, why start now… but I wish I had listened to you!

  5. stellapurdy says:

    why oh why did I google that. WHY????

  6. Julie says:

    Aaaand I googled it. I so wish I hadn’t!

  7. Hmm says:

    I was curious so I googled “What is a goatse.” The explanation was enough for me. Wow…

  8. M.J says:

    I wish I followed your advice. IT CANNOT BE UNSEEN!!!

  9. bunny69 says:

    Hmmmm…..Goatse……Sounds kinky…..

  10. Ina Garten says:

    It is of a man stretching open his anus so far that it starts to reverse. Jeffery and I use it to get a bit more horny in bed.

  11. Heidi says:

    OMG, someone hacked my employers account and sent the goatse pic to all the users. G-ROSS!

  12. C.K. says:

    initially, i thought the terrible thing was someone carving food network into the pumpkin. as i read further, i saw the word “goatse”, and i instantly saw the fingers pulling. jillian is right. of all the things i wish i could unsee, goatse is one of them.

  13. Amy says:

    What is a goatse?!?! I’m scared to search

  14. joe says:

    didn’t listen to warning, would like a steel wool brush and sulfuric acid for my eyes please.

  15. hairball says:

    oh lord

  16. Teague says:

    First thing to do now is Google ‘goatse’.

  17. Summer says:

    I didn’t Google it! I Urban Dictionary’d it! :-D

    And yeah… no. Just no.

  18. FuryOfFirestorm says:

    Was this pumpkin served at a Lemon Party with Blue Waflles and Meat Spin by Two Girls With One Cup?

    • Mel says:

      Goatse is gross, but manageable. I have a very strong stomach.

      However… you, sir, have crossed the line by mentioning the Blue Waffle. To date, the ONLY thing on the internet that has made me want to Brillo my own eyeballs. The only thing that could ever be worse would be Ina Garten nudes.

    • Amber says:

      I heard Two Girls bailed, but Tubgirl was there.

  19. Numb says:

    Goatse is by far my favorite internet pop culture item of all time – and I’m very sad at how unknown it seems to be these days. There was a time in the pre-YouTube internet that you said Goatse and 75% of the ‘net population knew exactly what you meant.

    • Wade says:

      I know, this comment section is making me feel old. Nobody knows Goatse anymore and now I’m clueless on the latest disgusting things. No way in hell am I Googling blue waffles to catch up.

    • Hakuna Fritatta says:

      Back when I was still bothering with the forums on my local Craigslist, some anti-gay douche was constantly posting photos of the goatse. Bleh.

  20. qwertygirl says:

    Wikipedia also has an image-free explanation. For those who want to know, but don’t want to know.

  21. Xploder says:

    DAMN! Chris needs a new hobby! Every time I see a really weird picture here, I just KNOW it’s gonna say “Thanks Chris!” at the end.

    • Chris says:

      I’m actually a Graphic Designer so I spend WAY to much time on the internet. I’m also the one who sent in the screen cap for the “Guy Fieri Shirtless” Google image search result that I got while looking for his knives.

  22. BreeBreeTM says:

    that… looks painful. lol.

  23. Kinleigha says:

    Oh hell, I knew I wasn’t the only one who thought about that.

    I was sitting in the living room watching halloween wars when i saw it, and i was like “HOLY HELL GET IN HERE THERE’S A GOATSE PUMPKIN ON FOOD NETWORK” and everyone in my house besides my brother thought I was psycho

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