Duff Goldman/Mary Alice, Guy Fieri »
Serious Contender For “Worst Food Network Pic Of 2011″
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Guy Fieri sent this out via Twitter, and noted that he had to stop by and see his buddy “Duff” because… and I quote… “Dude is nutz.”
Sadly, even the small amount of “fame” they’ve attained has clearly gone to their heads. If enough clinically obese 50-somethings approach you in the street and tweet you to tell you how awesome you are, you’re going to start to believe it. You’re going to start to develop an ego. You’re going to start……. posing for pictures like this.
The poses! The tacky gold jewelry! The curved frat boy brim on Duff Goldman’s stupid hat! I can’t even. Somebody please tell Guy Fieri that only the biggest assholes on the face of the planet wear pinky rings. And somebody clue Goldman in on the fact that flashing the Rock ‘n Roll sign stopped being cool in 1992.
And for the love of God, can either one of them take a normal picture without acting like an idiot – or grimacing like they’re stuck on a toilet battling constipation? Is that too much to ask?
(photo via Guy Fieri’s twitter)
Other posts on Food Network Humor:
---Ace Of Cakes Kicks Off 8th Season With Scary Poster---Guy Fieri vs A Rock
---Breaking News
---Mariah Carey Dresses Like Man, Ends Up Looking Like Duff
---Photo: A Young Duff Goldman
- Duff Goldman/Mary Alice
- Guy Fieri
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64 Responses
That is just a gross display of grown men acting like tools. Stop the madness….In other news, I just read where the Neeley’s place, here in Nashville, scored a big 52. Not hot water, employees not using soap to wash hands and roaches. Ewwww
The employees have to wash the roaches? I prefer mine marinated in their own juices. Just joshing, Laura. I think Duff and Fee-eddy are among the biggest hammerheads in creation. :)
@ BOKE1….LOL!!!!!!!
Plus I assume they got points knocked off for having sex in the kitchen.
All together now…ewwwww!
Guy Ferry can’t seem to take a photo with his mouth closed. It’s cuz he’s a mouth breather. His small, puny brain requires plenty of oxygen just to keep him alive long enough to pose like a buffoon in pictures and spell words like “kewl” and “nutz” and “slamma jamma”.
*gigglesnort*
All that pic is missing is the dork from ‘Man vs. Food’ (I know, another network, but he *so* fits with those two).
I think both of them are disgusting, but I think Goldman is rising close to Fee-etti’s Stinko-meter reading.
If you’ve ever witnessed people pose for pictures like this, they are silent. They look like they’re saying something [that they would think sounds] bad-ass, but they’re not. They’re just standing there, posing, and usually not breathing, holding a deep breath they would use if they were actually making the sound that goes with that face at the back of their throat. And they probably stood like this for a few full minutes while they took and re-took this shot, until it looked old-white-guy-cool enough for the both of them.
Also, I never realized just how bad Duff’s sausage fingers are. Oof.
You know, if his stubby little fingers are any indication, Duff might have the smallest dick on FN. Ferry is however the biggest dick.
Hmm, that pic makes them look pretty cozy together, & making those “O” faces, too…I’m expecting the Duff-Fieri buttsex video to surface on the internet sometime in the near future.
My gawd, Gypsy. I am so having nightmares about that tonight.
I wonder if anyone noticed that there were two patients missing from the psychiatric ward of Flavortown Memorial Hospital.
Love the addition of Aunt Linda – her expression is the epitome of my reaction when I saw this photo…
Keep up the hilarious work, FNH. I just found you recently and am having an absolute blast getting caught up!
Erm, is there really something wrong with curving the brim of a baseball cap? Most men I know do it and they’re not tools. I know these guys are douchebags but that’s just a weird thing to nitpick about. lol
Curving the brim of your hat a little bit, sure. But curving your brim that much is total fratboy douche.
Actually that’s pretty stock standard for a baseball cap. You curve it so it keeps more of the sun out of your eyes, so curving it to the outside of your eyes is what you want. Fratboys these days don’t curve their caps at all.
But hey, keep on raging about the most minute of minutia, we all know these guys don’t have very much to nitpick about. Oh, wait.
Thank you, Thanatos.I hatehateHATE the flat-brimmed hats, usually cocked off to one side. They look so stupid. The curved brim would be my least concern in this photo, for sure.
No one said you have to wear a flat brimmed hat like a gangster who rides the short bus. But you don’t have to curve it into a douchebag fratboy V shape either. There’s a line.
Please keep manplaining to the little lady who doesn’t understand the intricacies of applying baseball cap to head.
Flat brimmed caps just remind me of all the scenester idiots around here who wear it like that with a hoodie over it.
Engineers wear pinky rings… they’re pretty cool people.
What kind of engineers? Because I come from a family of engineers, and I’m pretty sure our idea of cool isn’t on the same planet as Fieri’s. Cool for us is M. C. Escher and cryptograms. Do you mean train engineers?
I think he’s probably referring to the “Iron Ring” or Engineers Ring. It is done here in Canada but I’m not sure about the USA. It’s actually a very prestigious thing to get and wear. Do a google search on it.
However, I would never compare that to the big bulky stupid pinky ring the Guy wears.
This engineer _does not_ wear a pinky ring.
I think he’s referring to engineers who drives trains. You know, like Choo Choo Charlie.
my engineer husband would drop dead before he wore a pinky ring.
I’d tap me some Duff in a New York minute. Sorry, but I like his type, physically.
As for Guy, he only has one facial expression, I swear. And, NO, there’s no way in hell that’s being tapped.
Can’t stand Guy…but I don’t mind Duff either…plus the fact that he’s wearing a Ravens jersey…can totally forgive him for this pic!
glad I wasn’t the only one, I loved ace of cakes, they are my kind of low key nerdy but funny people. still hate guy though. uhg!
I hate crap like this. “eeeh, I dunno…he does like a sports team I like…all transgressions forgiven for all time!” No, he’s still a douchbag…he just likes at least ONE thing you like.
Speaking of hats, does anyone know why members of our youth (and adults) keep those hologram stickers on or the hangtag on their “ball” caps ? It’s been confounding me for years.
They leave the tags on boots too…especially Tims…never got it either
Some rap star did it.
So did Minnie Pearl.
LOL Very true!
ROFLMAO!!! Hilariously true.
She’s original gangsta!! Fo sho!!
Awesome photo work. Just when I thought I would barf up my dinner from the Guy/Duff pic, I scrolled down and saw Kristen Wiig. Enjoyed a good laugh instead.
They’re both vile and disgusting.
Just when I thought the picture could get no more obnoxious, I scrolled down and there was Kristen Wiig. Unlike Diane, however, my reaction was further annoyance instead of a laugh. She is the unfunniest woman to become famous for comedy since Catherine Tate.
She’s not there for her comedic talent. She’s there because she’s making the only appropriate facial reaction I could find.
Ha! Fair enough. It’s not your fault she makes my skin crawl with annoyance every time I see her, anyway. It’s hers.
Awww, give poor Ferry a break. That pinky ring is probably just his class ring, only he’s gotten so chubby it doesn’t fit on his fat ring finger anymore.
But he has no class!
I understand Guy la Douche has a wife. My question is how the heck does she endure his total douchebaggery? I would be so embarrassed by this sort of behavior on the part of my spouse.
As for Duff, dude, just rip open another bag of Doritos.
I cannot imagine being married to either one of them.
Please, someone shove a rolled up sock into Guy’s greasy mouth.
These Food Network social convention photo ops are really getting irritating.
Your theory has merit, Starbuck. Perhaps he should start wearing it on his willie. It would probably be the perfect size.
…just made myself sick as a dog from even referencing Ferry’s ‘member’.
Having a problem seeing my screen because I just lost my dinner all over it. Gee, thanks Jillian!
This is off topic from the original post, but I have the TV on, there’s a “Restaurant Impossible” rerun on where Irvine is remodeling a Tex Mex type place, and I’m pretty sure he pronounced the word “nachos” as “NATCH-os” which made me think of the “TACK-o” post from the other day.
I think we can allow Irvine to mispronounce stuff because he’s British. They’re constantly mispronouncing stuff. Wait until he says “aluminum.” You won’t know what the hell he’s talking about.
We have all seen the movie Dumb and Dumber.. this pic is Douche and Doucher (or is it Douchier?)
Was never a big fan of Duff. His show was over rated. While the cakes are cool he is only doing what almost every bakery is doing now days.
And whats with giving Ferry a knife? Momma told ya NOT to play with sharp objects GuyO
Only thing remotely cool about this pic is that dude’s wearing a Raven’s jersey.
Yes!
I saw that as well. On another side note, I see that at 11pm, they’re showing the Next Iron Chef ballpark episode for the 852114579996526th time. I don’t mind reruns, but DAY-UM!
I know, they really run some episodes into the ground.
The one NIC show where the chefs had to cook whole pigs, and one team chose to cook a pig’s head in a pot?
That must have been shown on FN about a billion times within one week’s time.
It stands out in my memory because I had to turn the channel any time it was on, I couldn’t stand to see the pig’s head cooking in the pot, or the chefs talking about serving pig brain.
And enough with ‘Cup Cake Wars,’ it’s so boring (but they show episodes of it a million times a week)!
I like their cake shows, but the cup cake shows are so dull.
Do these guys actually queer each other, or is it a cleverly devised ruse to fool us?
Come on, dude, they’re obviously bro-friends fo’ lyfe! So what if they go bling shopping and then eat cake in their 8-ball patterned panties? That’s not gay….. That’s BROMANCE!
I wish there was some way to legally ban that douche Ferry from using the letters K and Z in the alphabet. I just want to shock him in the ‘nutz’ with a ‘kattle’ prod every time he does.
The icing on the cake in this picture is literally the icing on the cake. How can you act badass in front of a pink and teal cake?
Fieri is the main reason I stopped watching Food Network. He’s a total douche-nozzle. ugh.
I am so with Wendy on this one- these 2 assholes make my skin crawl and they deserve each other.
That’s not a rock ‘n roll sign Duff is flashing. It’s a half-goatse!
Geez, am I the only one who doesn’t have issues with this picture??? It’s just two guys goofing around.