Letters To FNH »
We get a lot of colorful, idiotic, and just plain WTF e-mails here at FNH, so every month I like to share the contents of my inbox with you guys in a segment called “LETTERS TO FNH.” This is the part where YOU guys get the floor to share the stuff you saw, and voice what YOU think about the Food Network.
This month features fan encounters with Alton Brown and Sandra Lee, Bobby Flay’s Irish twin, Paula Deen’s horsedump pie, and a few letters from TOTAL IDIOTS. Let’s do it!
Hi. My name is Paula xxxxx and I’m an old friend of Marc’s so could please forward this to him. 323 733-xxxx.
Sure. “Marc” is the very first person in my speed dial. Hold on while I ring him and let him know you’re looking to reconnect. (Seriously, honey, can’t you use Classmates.com or GOOGLE like the rest of the world? Must you resort to emailing strangers your phone number?)
Can you please write something about Sweet Genius!? It is the most RIDICULOUS show I have ever seen on food network. For one thing what the hell is Ron Ben Israels accent and why did he steal my mascara on and put on 5 coats of lashblast? The place where they film is way too big for the show, and a computer voice does most of Ron’s lines! All of his “inspirations” are the most flamboyant thing. High Heels, a masquerade mask, even when it was a turtle it was a bedazzled one! Then when he eats the food he literally says three adjectives about each part of the dish. The cake is warm, sweet, rich. THAT’S IT. Who is this person and where the hell did they find him? I literally watch it just to find out what ridiculous stuff will be on next. -Sam and Sloan
I tried to watch it. I really did. I DVR’d it and everything. Twice. But both times I was only physically able to watch it for 5 minutes. It was just that bad. I promptly deleted it from my DVR and promised to never watch again. If anyone out there reading wants to recap the show or write a bit about it for FNH, I’d be all ears. Until then, here’s a menacing little screengrab sent in by Dawn:
I came across this picture today and while the first thing that caught my attention was the crazy-eyes and pure batshit insanity that these two people represent, I unfortunately could not escape the feeling that the guy looked familiar — and that’s when I realized that he was most likely Adam Gertler’s dad. -Ryan
And in a related story:
I don’t know about you, but I find that this Ron Ben Israel guy seems to be the horrifying lovechild of Iron Chef Michael Symon and Bravo bitch Tabatha Coffey. -Kellie
Wow – so you guys are all really loving Sweet Genius, eh? /sarcasm
I just wanted to send an anonymous note to you about Sandra Lee. I went to the Food Network Food & Wine Festival ‘Sweet’ event hosted by Sandra Lee Friday night (I only went because it was free) and I was shocked at how openly bitchy and arrogant she was! She sauntered about the event with her beau Andy Cuomo (and an entourage of security) with an air about her as though she thinks she is the 2nd Coming or Oprah. Not to mention she didn’t seem to want to stop to talk with the people who might have come there to see her. She seemed to want to just waltz about the event with this security entourage and let her white trashy ego grow (don’t even get me started on the tacky, trailer-park looking outfit she was wearing, it infuriates me that people outside of NYC saw an article that gave her a Best-Dressed award, because she does NOT in ANY way represent NYC fashion, I don’t see in what area she would be considered Best-Dressed, she is a laughing-stock!)
As if that weren’t horrendous enough, when it came time for her to speak to the crowd, she was so RUDE and bitchy. She told everyone to quiet down because she “lost my voice talking to YOU ALL and you guys need to SERIOUSLY be quiet! When the crowd didn’t seem to pay attention and quiet down for her, so she wouldn’t have to speak loudly, she got openly bitchy and said, “SERIOUSLY everyone, SERIOUSLY?!?!?! I’m not going to speak until you quiet down!!” HA! (It gave a feeling of, “How DARE you speak when I am trying to talk?! Don’t you know who I am?!”)
I was shocked how openly rude and bitchy she was, not only 1st within the crowd, but 2nd during a speech. Doesn’t she have a PR person telling her that bitchiness doesn’t sell?!?! All the other personalities there seemed to engage and interact with the people who came to see them-except for Sandra Lee-whom was the main Host! (Anne Burrell was there as well as Bobby Flay and others- and both seemed very down to earth and had no ego or airs about them, they were walking around without, gasp, security or an entourage!?)
Just thought you’d like to hear this and wondering if anyone else was there and saw the same thing.
I’ve never met Sandra Lee, but for what it’s worth, I’ve heard a thousand stories like this. You are not alone, anonymous!
Did you happen to catch any of Paula Deen’s appearance on the Dr. Oz show on 10/11/11? I am watching it now on dvr and it is quite interesting. First off, she explains that she is gassy from some grapes she ate and feels as though she may need to run off to the bathroom at any moment (this is before they begin talking about her food) and that she is a “regular pooper”. Then she explains that she “holds” a pack and a half of cigarettes a day! I just thought I would bring this compelling interview to your attention as I am finding it very revealing and hilarious. -Melissa
Wow. Talk about way TMI. But honestly, very typical. These days, if Paula Deen did an interview without talking about shit, I’d be worried. And speaking about Paula Deen and shit…
I came across this on the food network web site for Paula Deen’s apple pie and when I saw the picture I just about lost my lunch. Looks like a huge pile of horse shit. Words just cant describe it. Nothing like two cups of crisco to get the blood flowing. -Michael
How do you even slice through that thing? With a chainsaw?
You don’t suppose the new Mazda 3, with its oversized smile-shaped grille, was inspired by Giada De Laurentiis? -Dan
That would scare the hell out of me if I saw it in my rear view mirror.
Hi Jillian, I frequent your blog and know that, if there is anyone on Food Network that you even remotely like and respect, it’s Alton Brown. He’s definitely number one in my book, and I was SUPER starstruck when I saw him in Austin last weekend. I saw him walking towards me on South Congress Street and sheepishly said, “Hi…Would you mind if I took a moment of your time? I don’t want to bother you, but I’m a big fan!” He and his friend smiled and assured me that I wasn’t a bother. Here’s the kicker… before I could gush anymore about how much I love this man, Alton stuck out his hand, smiled, and said “Hi, I’m Alton Brown.” HAHAHA Yes, sir, I know. He was sweet, charming, and casual-the Alton Brown we know and LOVE (…I do, anyway. could you tell??) I saw him again after we had parted ways initially, and I was texting furiously. “I’m telling everyone I know that I just met you!” He laughed and asked, “How many of them even know who I am?!” ..um, all of them! It’s a prerequisite for being my friend. Needless to say, this made my life! And yes, if he asked, I would marry him ( please don’t ruin my deliciously delusional state with the bothersome fact that he already has a wife. DETAILS!) Thanks again for the blog and hope you enjoyed my little story of pure, unadulterated joy! -Ashley
Great story Ashley! Thanks for sharing. Alton is, in fact, THE MAN.
I don’t know if the new Food Network show Crave is brand new or not, but I didn’t see it mentioned on your site. Good god is it awful! The host is some alleged “food critic” and “food journalist” named Troy Johnson and he is an unsufferable douchebag of epic proportions. I cannot go into any more details or I may have a stroke. Just watch the show (if you can stand it) and I will look forward to this asshole getting skewered on your site soon. -Kirk
I agree. I tried watching it once but the host made me want to jump off a bridge. He talks 900 mph and makes jokes that, well, aren’t funny. Plus… another show with a random guy driving around eating things? Come on. Make it stop.
Hey Jill, love your site. I was just going through pictures from when I was abroad last year, and I found a picture of a political poster for someone running for a representative position in Ireland. AKA the Irish clone of Bobby Flay. My friend and I were so sick of seeing his smug clone face. His name is Ruadhán Mac Aodháin and this is just the picture I had taken of the poster. -Laura
The resemblance is uncanny!
I am trying to find your Holiday Magazine. The one with the bunk cake and, also the chicken. Thank you
Ohhhhh. The one with the bunk cake and the chicken. Hold on while I laugh myself into a coma. BRB.
So I was watching the Frightfully Good episode of The Best Thing I Ever Ate, and noticed when they were talking about the Lamb Face salad (serious ick, by the way), they flashed the salad across the screen, and there very clearly was a hair hanging down. So gross. Do they never catch crap like that – don’t they have editors? -Kristi
Ewwwwwwwww! Do not want!
Thanks for all the great letters and pics, guys! Keep them coming. Without you, there wouldn’t be a FNH!
Other posts on Food Network Humor:---What’s In Our Inbox: Letters To FNH
---What’s In Our Inbox: Letters To FNH
---What’s In Our Inbox: Letters To FNH
---Letters To FNH
---Letters To FNH: Paula Deen Spotted In Optical Shop
- Letters To FNH