Next Iron Chef »
That’s right, ladies and gentlemen. The lord of the fireplaces… the king of St. Barts… the master of brunch… Geoffrey Zakarian beat Elizabeth Falkner in tonight’s finale of Next Iron Chef. And how do I feel about that?
I wanted to see Burrell or Guarnaschelli take it. Other than that, I really didn’t care who won or lost. It’s about the personalities to us watching at home. We’re not tasting the food, and honestly, most of it is way above the heads and palates of the average person anyway.
Didn’t catch the episode? Here’s what you missed. The challengers had 1 hour to create a 3-course holiday meal. They were able to bring back one eliminated contestant to help them for 15 minutes each, and Falkner/Zakarian decided on Alex Guaranschelli. Zakarian used her talents well, and had her make a sake risotto. Falkner, on the other hand, ASKED HER TO CHOP AND ICE FENNEL because she’s “good at it.” You know who else is good at that? EVERYONE ON THE PLANET.
For the life of me, I can’t understand that decision. You have one of the best chefs in the country at your disposal, and you task her with that? I’m surprised she didn’t ask her to make ice cubes. What a total fail. Oh Falkner, you so crazy.
The chairman also threw surprises at them during the challenge. They had to make a cranberry dish, a frozen concoction using the ice cream maker, and whip up a cocktail. Yes, a cocktail. Everyone is making cocktails on their shows these days. I’ve been calling it the “SANDRA LEEIFICATION” of the Food Network. Her influence is everywhere. Before long, every chef on the Food Network will be required to open a packet of onion soup powder and/or Cool Whip at least once per episode.
Other than that, not much happened. Except for, of course, ELIZABETH FALKNER ZESTING A FREAKING ORANGE after the ending buzzer went off. I demand a recount! Roll the slow motion footage!
Overall, the judges had more bad comments about Falkner’s food than Zakarians “modern luxury Christmas” dinner (insert eyeroll here). That is, except for Judy Joo. Judy Joo just LOVES her some Elizabeth Falkner. As I said on Twitter, Falkner could serve her a turd on a plate and Joo would say it was fantastic. You know I’m right.
And that’s it, folks! I was wrong in my prediction that a woman would win the season. I was confident about that because I was under the impression Cat Cora left the show to be with her family. I was wrong there, too. Cat Cora is still very much an Iron Chef, and in fact just filmed a new episode of the show.
I also ran my mouth a lot, saying how I thought the winner was likely predetermined before the season even started filming. Alton Brown has given several interviews and has spoken out on Twitter stating that to the best of his knowledge that is not true. And I definitely am in no position to argue with that. I’m just a silly blogger, after all.
The bottom line is that this is entertainment – plain and simple. And an entertaining season it has been. We peons will never know what goes on behind the scenes. And you know what? That’s probably for the best.
What did you think of the finale? Happy with the outcome? Leave your thoughts in the comments!
Other posts on Food Network Humor:---Next Iron Chef: Just The Good Stuff (Episode 6)
---Next Iron Chef: Just The Good Stuff (Episode 7)
---Next Iron Chef: Just The Good Stuff (Episode 5)
---Next Iron Chef: Just The Good Stuff (Episode 1)
---Next Iron Chef: Just The Good Stuff (Episode 4)
- Next Iron Chef