Next Iron Chef »

Next Iron Chef: Just The Good Stuff (Episode 7)
Posted by Jillian Madison

(Sorry for the typo in the pic. I type too damn fast.)

This week, the final 4 left NYC behind and set sail for the Hamptons. Zakarian noted that it was a place that “attracts wealthy people” and that he “comes here on occasion.” Get it? Because he’s a wealthy person. With seven fireplaces. And for those of you keeping track, that’s exactly one more than the number of people out there rooting for him to win this show.


Today’s challenge was all about passion. The chefs had 2 hours to gather their own ingredients, and then another 2 hours to prepare a three course seafood tasting menu for 20 hungry white people. It is Montauk, after all.

I wish I could say something interesting happened during the next 30 minutes of the show, but it didn’t. We learned that butter costs $11.99/lb on the Hamptons, that Elizabeth Falkner uses the word “howdy”, and that Michael Chiarello is completely unable to handle even the tiniest amount of criticism. You see, Michael Symon told him his scallop was slightly overcooked, but he completely dismissed it and said: “impossible. This isn’t my first rodeo.” I’ll say. Clearly Chiarello’s been around the bull, because he’s full of its shit.

Zakarian, not to be outdone in the pretentious department, introduced his plate of food to the judges and said that it reminded him of his passionate days vacationing on St. Barths.

Alton, please take it away:


The winner of the challenge was Geoffrey Zakarian, and he earned a spot in next week’s finale. The loser of the challenge was Alex Guarnaschelli. She was eliminated from the show, and so was my last waning breath of interest in its outcome.

Why? Because we, the common folk watching at home, aren’t tasting the food. We’re not experiencing Guarnaschelli’s lobster, or Chiarello’s lamb, or one of Falkner’s 92 ice creams. This is television. And for us, it’s strictly about the personalities, because that’s obviously all we have to go on. Of these remaining contestants, I wanted to see Guarnaschelli win. She clearly had the most passion. She’s clearly the most humble. These other 3 think they’re God’s gift to Santoku knives. It’s not attractive to watch, and it’s downright impossible to root for.  Which one of them will win? Do any of us really care?

Next up, Chiarello and Falkner competed head to head in Battle Town House Cracker/Entwine Wine. I honestly have no clue what Falkner made, because my friends and I were too busy laughing and cracking jokes about how many fireplaces the Keebler Elves have in their treehouse on St. Barts (general consensus: one).  I can tell you, however, that Michael Chiarello  served a SHOTGLASS OF DRY-ASSED CRACKER CRUMBS. Oh yes. Sandra Lee, eat your heart out.

And in an elimination that surprised exactly no one, Michael Chiarello was sent home. Elizabeth Falkner moved on, and will be competing against Zakarian next week in the finale.

Cut to a confessional shot, where Falkner referred to herself as a “ninja chef” and said she was going to “kill it.” Let’s just hope by “it” she was referring to Judy Joo’s foodgasm. Gag me.

My money has always been on someone with a lot of estrogen winning this. And since Chiarello is gone, that means it is Falkner’s to take. What do you think?

Other posts on Food Network Humor:

---Next Iron Chef: Just The Good Stuff (Episode 3)
---Next Iron Chef: Just The Good Stuff (Episode 6)
---Next Iron Chef: Just The Good Stuff (Episode 1)
---Next Iron Chef: Just The Good Stuff (Episode 5)
---Next Iron Chef: Just The Good Stuff (Episode 4)

    179 Responses

  1. Mimarin says:

    o.o Wow, what a horribly depressing episode. I didn’t even watch (Anne’s gone!) but I came here to see if Alex was continuing on and… wow. Faulkner’s gonna win, I think, but I am certainly not happy about it.

    >.< Lame is all I can say.

    • Alton Rules says:

      Good Lord, if I had known from the start that these would be the final two, I wouldn’t have bothered watching this train wreck. I feel so…used.

  2. shouldbestudying says:

    Do the producers really think anyone wants to watch either one of these JA’s?? I gotta say, with Alex and Anne gone, I couldn’t care less either. I think Fulkner might be the lesser of two evils, but I wouldn’t be surprised if the douche bag wins.

    Alton is a GOD!!

  3. Lime says:

    If someone with a lot of estrogen will win this, then Zakarian has it in the bag.

    • Toler Flyrence says:

      When I read that, I thought the same thing.
      I’m rooting for him, just because the fix is in–and, he’s much more entertaining than the chef whose upper lip NEVER moves when she talks.
      I hope she serves Red Bull with every dish she makes, ’cause otherwise, she be putting judges to sleep.

  4. Jacob says:

    I think Chiarello claiming that cultures believe the tomato being the fruit Adam and Eve ate is absolute bullshit and just shows what pretentious pricks the remaining three were.

    • thestarvingstudent says:

      Exactly! As I pointed out during the episode, most cultures didn’t eat tomatoes until VERY recently, because it is part of the Deadly Nightshade family, and thus was believed to be poisonous. Although I don’t know for sure, I’m more inclined to believe POM’s commercial claiming that the pomegranate was the “forbidden fruit” than I am anything that comes out of Chiarello’s mouth.

    • Kim from CO says:

      Yeah, pretty sure the ‘What kind of fruit was it?’ debate is split evenly between ‘apple’ and ‘pomegranate’. So glad Chiarello is gone. I don’t think I could take one more 20-minute long story about his food.

      • David says:

        Supposedly, in the Koran, it’s a banana. Also heard peach. (Both very sexual.)

        Honestly, Chiarello should have been in the bottom. His “passion” was all bullshit with no unity, and he overcooked his scallops. I’m sorry, but that outweighs everything else–elementary mistake!

  5. Cindy says:

    I found it surprising that this being the Hamptons they didn’t drag out Ina Garten in her finest shent as a guest judge. She would be able to inform the viewer of what really defines Hamptons cuisine. I found the commentary on the overpriced grocery items pretty funny. 12 bucks for a pound of butter? I’m sure it was “good” butter.

    • nursefoodie says:

      It was not ‘good’ butter. It was ‘really good’ butter.

    • Annie says:

      I was waiting to see Ina too. If you pay $11.99 a pound for butter in the Hamptons, I can’t imagine what you pay for “good” vanilla. She should probably change her adjective to “pricey”. As for the show, since they are replacing Cat Cora I think Faulkner will win. I can’t stand her or Zakarian so I could care less which one it is.

  6. Steve says:

    “My money has always been on someone with a lot of estrogen winning this.” That doesn’t necessarily eliminate Chiarello.

  7. Joe Arnold says:

    I ate at one of Elizabeth’s restaurants once, and it was the worst experience i ever had. Her “partner” was there with her, and they were groping each other out in the middle of the restaurant. And, I used to be Geoff’s partner. We broke up when I found out he’s a transvestite.

  8. Jessica says:

    Knew it was gonna come down to those two. After Anne’s departure last week I was devastated but still had a glimmer of hope with Alex. Just like you I completely stopped caring when she was eliminated. I will by default be “rooting” for GZ, because I will never be able to stand Faulkner as an Iron Chef. Such a disappointing season!

  9. Lasolimu says:

    I predicted this outcome at dinner last night but didn’t watch the show today. I found out I was right shortly after the episode when one of the people I told said they hated me for predicting it.

    I also predict that Falkner is going to win it all, but Zakarian still being around despite constantly ignoring the judges, I guess it could go either way.

    Honestly, at this point at I can’t take ANYONE saying that this isn’t scripted seriously. It’s fairly silly to even consider when you here all the praise about “originality” and “creativity” a pastry chef got throughout when they made dishes that a pastry chef would be expected to make, and a chef that pretty much refused to follow the rules making it all the way through.

    • Andrew EC says:

      If you read Anne Burrell’s Twitter feed, it’s pretty obvious from her emotional reaction to being eliminated that either a) this wasn’t scripted or b) Anne Burrell is the best actress alive.

      If FN were going to script this show, you’d think they’d want to showcase one of their signature talents (Burrell, Guarnaschelli, Irvine) and not someone with zero connection to Food Network.

      • I think the PRODUCERS had a winner in mind. That doesn’t mean the CONTESTANTS were scripted. There is a big difference there.

        • Andrew EC says:

          But why on earth would the producers want to de-prioritize their most marketable stars (Burrell, Guarnaschelli, Irvine) in favor of either the unlikeable, pretentious Zakarian or the totally unknown (and kind of awkward) Falkner?

          Also: isn’t Bobby Flay one of the producers? Is it really likely that Anne would go ahead with something if there was even a suspicion that it was a sham?

          • Isn’t that obvious? Because the producers don’t care about anything but making good, controversial television. It’s much easier to do that using talent that they already have… talent that people are already familiar with and already feel like they “know.” To the majority of people watching, this is not a cooking competition. It’s a personality competition.

          • Anna says:

            If this is a personality competition then I shall quote Indiana Jones and the last crusade on this one “They chose poorly” Either way Iron Chef is going to bomb. Neither of the finalists are even remotely likable.

          • Andrew EC says:

            Jillian — I think the point you’re missing is that FN is stuck with the *results* of this show affecting one of their most popular regular shows (ICA). I just don’t see how rigging this competition to trash their own stars makes the slightest bit of sense in the long term. But to each his or her own, I guess.

          • Brown Sugar says:

            I agree with those saying it’s not predetermined. Why? Because Alton Brown specifically said he would not be involved if it was. He doesn’t seem the type to do what he’s told simply because he’s told to do it, and obviously he’s not motivated only by paycheck or else he would have kept going with Good Eats until it was dead. He also tweeted that, after the first elimination (Alex), he left the judge’s table and threw up. From nerves, not from the food. And there were points last night where both male judges looked pissed off at each other; makes me think they actually had to make the calls. I know we only see what the producers want us to see, you can get that from reading the live twitter feed where the chefs are all indignant about how things were edited. But I don’t think FN controls the final choice.

          • Andrew, I’m not “missing” any point. I”m of the opinion they made a calculated decision who they wanted to win the show. I don’t know what their alleged criteria was nor do I care. The outcome is likely the way they wanted it to be. None of their stars were “trashed” during the show.

          • Jeff in Middletucky says:

            Ah, Jillian. So pretty, yet with a head so full of teh crazy.

  10. Kev says:

    Unless the secret ingredient every week is ice cream, Falkner would get her ass kicked constantly on Iron Chef.


  11. Lisa says:

    I have to hand it to you Jillian. You called this outcome on twitter way before the show tonight.

  12. Andrew EC says:

    Not really sure where all the Falkner hate is coming from; she’s obviously a stupidly talented chef with a specialization that no one on ICA currently has (desserts).

    Also note: she made 6 dishes in this episode, with no dessert elements in any of them, so I think the “hurr durr she can only make ice cream” comments are kind of silly.

  13. Stacey says:

    How about Falkner mentioning that she can “smell the clam bakes”. I almost died laughing. I was waiting for Judy Joo to be waiting for her on the beach in a bikini.

  14. yuki says:

    did you all see judy’s eye roll to alex’s chower ? i was very upset to see alex go! im done watching this show now

  15. Krunchy says:

    Apparently I am one of those less than seven people rooting for Zakarian. He’s consistently put great food on the plates, and is taking it as if its a real cooking competition, and not some reality show offering, like say, DRAMA QUEEN Alex G.

    I like Alex G. on Chopped, but she definitely has that “early Bobby Flay on Iron Chef where every episode he either electrocuted himself of cut open a major artery,” quality that I don’t really want to see every week.

    I was actually hoping that Zakarian and Alex. Interesting that Alex was never in an bottom elimination battle. Faulkner impressed me that she was able to make more than one dish. Lets see if she can take ONE ingredient and have enough creativity to make 5 courses.

    Out of the four finalists that were left though, Zakarian is definitely the one most “Iron Chef” though.

  16. thestarvingstudent says:

    It was interesting to watch Alton Brown’s Twitter postings leading up to the show. He even claimed that after the judgement (not sure if it was the 1st or the second) that he went and threw up. Obviously he is not happy with the choices the judges have made. I can’t tell, but I get the feeling that he is as disgusted by the Falkner/Joo thing as a lot of us are. Either that or he has a general dislike Falkner as a cook, and Joo as a judge, regardless of their supposed/apparent entanglement (whether or not there is anything going on on Falkner’s side, I still believe that Joo is infatuated with her). I know Alton definitely dislikes Joo, because from episode one he spoke negatively of her on twitter (some comment about how he hates the term “foodgasam”)

    • Automne says:

      Joo just fucks up all the results. She has a definite bias going on and will not judge objectively if Faulkner’s ass is on the line (as it has been several times).

      I think Symon has been the most objective judge thus far, although I think he was clearly Team Alex this episode.

    • sow says:

      Absolutely! Even Symon tweeted regarding how horrendous the results were on this episode. (ya–I shouldn’t be following all these people!)

  17. Vegan Foodie says:

    This season is to being used to replace Cat Cora. This competition was rigged from the beginning as a way to fill their blonde lesbian quota.

    I’m going for Zakarian because he’s not ashamed to be an elitist prick. Also, his food looks great. I was rooting for Anne and then Alex too, but then I was for Chiarello over Faulkner. Basically, I hate Faulkner.

    • monique says:

      i don’t ever comment but EXACTLY what i was thinking! Sending Alex home was the official confirmation. Unless Zakarian can use his elitist prick status to make sure he comes out on top.

  18. Automne says:

    Guarnaschelli being eliminated pissed me off. Everybody else has skated by with more grievous errors, but the one person who was never in the bottom two, showed the most passion, and clearly wanted this the most (that even Zakarian and Chiarello realized by the way they immediately wrapped their arms around her to comfort her), gets the boot.

    Granted, I wasn’t a Guarnaschelli fan at the very beginning because she annoyed me on Chopped, but she’s very endearing. And the fact that she was willing to put herself out there to be judged in the same way she judged others showed that she can take it as well as dish it.

    Apparently Alton Brown was sickened by this result (literally) because he had such a strong reaction (by vomiting from the emotional stress of it all).

  19. tich tran says:

    I like Faulker but I agree the fix is in for Faulker. After all she was once Cora’s SOUS CHEF. Plus she is also a LESBIAN. So obviously the winner is Faulker. Of course some people would say Faulk no!

  20. jmc says:

    Can we please talk about the weird ass ingredients in these challenges? Townhouse crackers? Kikkoman ponzu? Where are the ingredients that they actually use on Iron Chef?

    • Automne says:

      On that note, I’m so tired of ICA having abstract concepts as the theme. “Passion” and “Thanksgiving” are entirely subjective and the chef’s idea of such a concept will be different from the judges (and each judge will have their own ideas).

    • Karen says:

      this is about product placement – just like Next Food Network Star

  21. Anna says:

    Aaaaand now there is absolutely no way I will watch Iron Chef America. I said I wouldnt watch it after Anne was booted out but I lied. I would watch if Alex was around but now… Hell… personality wise I am rooting for freaking Zakarian and I am not pleased to admit this. Actually, now I hate myself for even typing it.

    • EQSATUB says:

      Yeah, that’s pretty much my reaction at this point. I’m rooting for Zakarian so that Faulker DOESN’T win, now that my two horses in the race (Anne and Alex) are gone.

    • orchidgal says:

      If Faulkner wins, then I will never watch any ICA battles featuring her. If Zakarian wins, I will watch. Last night I turned off the TV when I saw that Forgione was on ICA. Pay attention, FN! It really does matter who you pick to win these things!

  22. Dingle says:

    Ha! Totally predicted it right around when they eliminated AB. Those two are the ones without shows ,and IC America will be a great marketing vehicle. They can “test” whoever wins out with relatively minimal risk. The set, crew, and show’s premise is already set.

  23. Andrea says:

    The last 3 winners of the next iron chef have been men, therefore food network probably feels the need to go with a woman. Result:Faulkner wins

  24. TBoneNYC says:

    Oh happy day. The sun has shone and the unicorns are dancing. Santa came early with the words “sorry Chef Guarnaschelli but you will not be the Next Iron Chef”. Now can you please vacate your pompous. arrogant and damn near bullying persona from the competition? How many Sous Chefs in her kitche want to stab the She Devil in the heart when she starts running around demanding “Get Out of My Way” or “Move”. Pain in the arse. My faith in humanity, or at least Food Network, has greatly improved with the fact that they didn’t fix the outcome. The wife and I have said Faulkner vs. Hello Fireplaces and his Four Kitties slash Darth Zakarian would be the final. Both are really, really good. Annoying as Hell, but really, really good. Darth Zakarian, a brilliant nickname I might want to add, is going to win. He will then be able to add an extra room, with a fifth fireplace and his huge ego.

    • Bellus says:

      Do you feel threatened by Alex? It’s a competition! I doubt she runs around yelling at her kitchen staff the way she did the cameraman.

      • TBoneNYC says:

        Oh please. At one point she was yelling at a prep table. I suspect when you are getting the most censor bleeps in NIC history the same bulldozer attitude and foul mouth carry over to everyday life. And why would anyone be threatened by a reality TV show?

      • Jeff in Middletucky says:

        @Bellus – You’re a naïve sort, aren’t you?

  25. sow says:

    Fuckner must go.

  26. cheddarpretzels says:

    Secret ingredient seemed like a sponsor again. STUPID. Chairman is a sell out. He should be rid from ICA. He does absolutely nothing significant and gets to eat high quality dishes all the time.
    /not pleased
    Judy Joo is ruining everything. At first, I enjoyed a judge who didn’t have numerous bad comments to make, BUT she is completely biased! If she were not here, honestly, Faulkner would’ve been around for so long.
    All the true fans will forever see Anne & Alex as the true Iron Chefs. </3

  27. EQSATUB says:

    Any bets as to Alton Brown not hosting Next Iron Chef after this year? He seems kinda fed up with the show, in general.

    • Alexandrite says:

      Alton is the really the only reason I watch this stupid show (or any other FN show), although I was rooting for Spike (HA!), McMillan, and then Alex. I hope he doesn’t host next year because that would make me seriously question his integrity, which I’ve always considered impeccable. Of course Faulkner was hand-picked to win because they need a woman on Iron Chef America to replace Cat Cora. Michael Symon is the only one of the judges I have any use for. They need to get somebody like Bobby Flay to host because he’d have no problem whatsoever with rigging it all–and all the tacky product endorsements.

  28. Leann says:

    I actually watched this episode even though I avoid Food Network. As soon as Alex got eliminated I turned off the tv from how frustrated I was. Judy Joo is quite possibly the WORST judge ever. And for some reason I feel that Faulkner is sleeping with Joo and that’s why she hasn’t been eliminated.

  29. Blue Cheese says:

    I have no interest in the outcome after tonight. I was really hoping that Alex would go all the way. Faulkner will win now because they need another female Iron Chef. Ho-hum and yawn.

  30. Rain says:

    I’m in with those have no further interest in the outcome.

    And I think that GZ probably has more estrogen than Faulkner. Just sayin….

    • Girl Fairy says:

      Yeah…I was gonna say, you can’t rule out Zakarian if they are looking for a female to win! Seriously, i’m not a fan of his but I’d rather see him win than Falkner. If she wins I will not watch her on ICA.

  31. amy says:

    Falkner is unbearable to me. Her voice annoys me, the things she says annoys me, her food annoys me, and her FACE annoys me. I just want to punch it. And what makes is all worse is Joo’s lesbian crush on her. It is seriously sickening to watch her favoritism.

  32. Thomas says:

    I hope Falkner doesn’t win. I can’t really see her as an Iron Chef. I don’t see her as an iconic iron chef.

    Then again I feel that way for most of TNIC contestants.

  33. Really says:

    Glad I missed this episode. I would have had to shoot the TV. Cannot stand the thought of Faulkner winning. She is so gratingly annoying! She looks like she needs to poop all the time!

  34. Cupcake says:

    Too bad Chef Falkner couldn’t have waited to announce the closing of her restaurant, Citizen Cake. It closes at the end of the month and she announced it earlier this week. She closed her other restaurant in October. I’m with a lot of people that I think they want a female and when I read that this week, the first thought I had was that she won. Kind of a spoiler… Not that anyone is surprised.

    • Ina Garten DaVida says:

      Are you suggesting she closed her restos because she’ll win NIC? That’s a pretty limited gig…

      The last two eps of this show have sucked the left hindmost one IMO. Just ugh.

      • Cupcake says:

        I realize it is only a few (at most) episodes a season for ICA. I was thinking along the lines that she is making changes in her life. Planning a move to NYC to be in a bigger food scene? Take advantage of other FN opportunities they may be presenting her? It seems counterintuitive that with her personality she’d get other opportunities. On the flip side, I can see FN doing everything they can to make her no longer the “outsider” and an unknown. Twice now, with Garces and Forgione, they’ve just disappeared. FN won’t want to go 3 for 3 on that.

  35. ColK says:

    What garbage. Townhouse crackers? They showed the box so much I was starting to predict when they would show it next with remarkable accuracy. “Hey FN! We’ll toss a couple hundred grand your way if you put our crappy, mouth drying snack crackers on your crappy, predetermined reality show. Thanks!”

    Falkner and Zakarian? Ugh. I guess here we’ll be down to two Iron Chefs we can stand watching now and if Falkner wins, that will be three straight winners with next to no personality.

    Personally, I figured the whole “Super Chefs” bit was just a ruse to boost ratings and a lesser known personality would win.

    • MARTIN says:

      I agree with you.= 100%. I have written comments on this blog before that the show is a ruse. FN’s stable of chef’s were included for entertainment value only after they PER-DETERMINED that Chef Faulkner was the winner/

      In my opinion, right from the start, it is 100% for sure that Faulkner will win.

  36. MelfinaPan says:

    At this point I could care less who wins. Both Zakarian and Falkner grate on my nerves. I figure Falkner is probably going to win.

    Regardless, the only Iron Chef battles I’ll watch will be with Morimoto or Symon.

    Also, does Judy Joo make you miss Donatella Arpaia at all?

    • orchidgal says:

      Do I miss wondering what Donatella will try to eat this week that is clearly inedible? Maybe, as that was always good for some laughs. But seriously, I couldn’t stand her any more than I can stand Judy “foodgasm” Joo, so the answer is No, I don’t miss her.

      I think the real reason she was replaced this season is that FN does want a woman to win and Donatella has shown a consistent bias against the female cheftestants, so FN needed a judge who would favor the females.

      I still hope that Faulkner will not win this. I will not watch her on ICA if she does win.

  37. sugar meg says:

    If you watched the preview for next week, the finalists get to pick cut contestents to help them out at KS. Geoffy-poo chooses Alex. I hope Alex sous chefs Faulkner’s Lance Bass lookin’ self all over the plate and slaps it in Joo’s face.

  38. ColK says:

    Just for kicks, here are the (All day)Sunday cable ratings for each episode before last night’s:

    1 – 3rd, 1.3 rating 3.065M viewers
    2 – 5th, 1.2 rating 2.965M viewers
    3 – 5th, 1.1 rating 2.901M viewers
    4 – 6th, 1.1 rating 2.744M viewers
    5 – 6th, 1.1 rating 2.833M viewers
    6 – 7th, 1.0 rating 2.783M viewers

    The biggest drop off came after Chuck Hughes was Chopp…Uh, was told he would not be the Next Iron Chef after week 3. It declined steadily until Beau McMillan was kicked out after week 4. Were that many people as sick of hearing him cheerleading as I was ?

  39. Jeff in Middletucky says:

    I, for one, am exceedingly pleased that The Snarkaschelli (and her quadruple wide ass and lady ‘stache) has left the building. And I’m also hoping that Falkner takes this thing all the way (but will be happy if Zakarian wins instead). Ding-dong, the bitch is dead, etc.

  40. Bellossom Ranger says:

    As Mimian said, “Wow, what a horribly depressing episode. I didn’t even watch.”

    I am so glad I couldn’t watch this episode because I had to sit with my group home at their stinking Xmas banquet until eight PM! It was certainly enough to save me the heartbreak.

    Michael Chiarello was one of my favorites in the early days of my Food Network watching career, his show was nice and clean and simple. To think he was forced into this travesty and became OOC was painful to watch but I wanted him to win.

    Well, at least there will be a possible female Iron Chef… NOT. If I predict right, as I usually did with the last seasons of this kangaroo court, the person I hate the most will win the competition and I’ll have to accept him as Iron Chef Neo.

    Embrace it, folks, Zakarin’s going to be the third new Iron Chef and we’ll have to watch his aged 244 cook under the Chairman’s sacred place. >_<

    Stupid money-sucking @%^#%%@$! Alton Brown's no longer doing episodes of Good Eats – I bought his third Good Eats cookbook and he said he's sending the show out to pasture – and now I have to boycott Iron Chef America. Dammit, why can't I get Cooking Channel on my TV!?!? I'd watch that rather than FN! :(

  41. Mike says:

    My thoughts are that A) Zakarian may have more estrogen than Falkner, and B) the best thing about the finale is that one of these insufferable people will go home.

    Oddly, I think I find myself rooting for Zakarian, now that Alex is out. I cannot ever imagine myself watching an episode of ICA where Falkner is on.

  42. FOODIE says:

    “My money has always been on someone with a lot of estrogen winning this. And since Chiarello is gone, that means it is Falkner’s to take.”

    I actually think Falkner has a bit more testosterone that ChiChi…

  43. Bellus says:

    Ok….so people think Jeffrey is a weenie and is pompous. He comes off as a bit pompous but I think he’s confident. Falkner, on the other hand, needs this win. She’s already had to close down one restaurant and announced the closing of the other one. So what else can she do? Back to Jeffrey…his dishes have been creative, lovely and consistent. Falkner is completely at a loss when attempting to prepare real food. Go Chef Zakarian!

  44. Kates says:

    I don’t care what anybody says about Chef Zakkarian, I’m just happy that the Hello Kitty band-aids made a reappearance. lol

  45. So There says:

    Alex can cook circles around Falkner. This show is
    a joke and the outcome was decided a long time ago.
    I predict Judy Joo and Lizzie will hook up and be in
    the next issue of STAR soon.

  46. Mike says:

    Remember when the Celtics were drafting Mormons one after the other? Danny Ainge, Michael Smith et al. It was a joke: Take the best Mormon available.
    Same thing for NIC; lose Cora, take next best lesbian available.
    This thing is a sham. Jillian’s right; we can only go on personalities and Zakarian is a douchebag’s douchebag while Falkner is just a boor, and a bore. Snooze. Wake me when the Giada-on-the-JetSki-in-the-blue-bikini episode is on again.

  47. [mecha:spider] says:

    It really is a shame. I enjoyed watching Iron Chef (the original) and then became excited when Iron Chef America came on. I hated bobby flay because of how disrespectful he was on his first episode verses Chef Morimoto. I still can’t stand to watch his show. But I grew to enjoy Chef Batali and Chef Morimoto. Hell, even enjoyed Chef Cora over Bobby. But then Simon came along. And that guy with the mohawk. And that Mexican (I do believe) guy just appeared out of no where. I almost had a hope of watching the show again, if Alex was on it. I am now never going to watch it again (Unless I know for sure, Morimoto is on it)

  48. anonymous says:

    One of my favorite quotes is “There’s nothing wrong with being pretentious as long as you can live up to your pretenses,” so I’m team Zakarian. Not that it really matters, as every ICA is a Bobby Flay these days anyway.

  49. LaLa says:

    I never thought I would want GZ to win… but he is more tolerable than Faulker… What a travesty to support the least annoying person, instead of our favorite chef.

  50. BlackArawn says:

    “Alex Guarnaschelli. She was eliminated from the show, and so was my last waning breath of interest in its outcome.”

    Alex needed to be an iron chef for me to remain interested in the show, I’m often ashamed to admit I watch it to others. It’s like admitting that one watches professional “wrestling.”

    And it’s not just because I would jump in bed with Alex at the drop of a hat, either. I rooted for Robert Irvine, too.

    Until Smell-o-Vision or Taste-o-Vision are invented, personalities are all we get to go on. Therefore, bring on the folks we love AND the folks we love to hate.

    (Except for freaking Guy Fieri. Barf.)

  51. Dr.L. says:

    I think they pre-determined based on whose paycheck would be cheapest…in that case, they should’ve chosen Spike, but he’s such a bitch, nobody would watch.

  52. snv says:

    After Alex was eliminated- I basically just didn’t care anymore. I don’t think anyone deserved it more than her or Anne (actually, my first choice was Anne).

    They would have brought such a following to ICA. Who is Falkner going to bring? No one knows who she is.

  53. sprode says:

    Well, I’ve long since thought Falkner would win. Especially after they pulled the “reality drama fate double-switch” and eliminated Anne.

    I don’t want to watch her. Zakarian has proven himself to be a d-bag, but I’d still rather have him win.

    • CSharpAJ says:

      I think if Falkner wins she’ll probably end up being like Cat Cora and lose almost every single battle that she’s in.

      • Teppo2 says:

        Ummmm she actually has a 21-11-1 record in ICA. Not as good as some of the others, but still a pretty convincing winning percentage nonetheless.

        • CSharpAJ says:

          I must have a knack for catching the episodes where she loses then because I honestly think I may have seen her win exactly 2 times.

          • lee says:

            hahah! so rue i hate kat cora and i hate faulkner even more! shes so annoying i scream “i hate you” at the screen every week, im not a zakarian fan either but rather him than her! my first choice was anne or samuleson

  54. Kate says:

    I have been for Zakarian since day 1. I love his pretentious elitist 4 fireplace owning douchebag hipster glasses wearing Hello Kitty loving hot GQ silver fox ass. He can do no wrong. I would love to see a VT of Faulkner saying “I will be the next Iron Chef” then having Anne and Alex throw a bagel ice cream pie in her face. I dislike her that much! She and foodgasm Joo should run away to St Barts together and stay there. 

    • Hot Tams says:

      Agreed, hahaha!! I love when he intentionally “disobeys” the instructions of the challenge! I love that he doesn’t apologize for it!

    • Lamb says:

      Alex was my first choice, but now, with that ship sailing, Zakarian is my hopeful. I agree with the Kate’s comment. “Silver fox.” Ditto.

    • Helen says:

      oh my God I love you! and I completely agree! I hate that dumb bitch Falkner. She should have been kicked off in the auditions.

    • Plumpy says:

      I give Zakarian points for the Hello Kitty bandages.

    • whereisfreitag says:

      Couldn’t have said it better about the silver fox! Part of me will die a little inside if he loses next week. Which, by no fault of his own, he most likely will. I don’t think Falkner’s the antichrist or anything, but come on FN, this is Geoffrey Zakarian, for shame.

    • Lucy says:

      Kate, you are hilarious and I totally agree. By the way, Z wears those band-aids for his daughters. They are for good luck.

    • Anna says:

      Oh dear god I could not agree more. Zakarian does not need to apologize for his sexy pompous ass

  55. Girl Fairy says:

    I never thought I’d say this, but I hope Chef Zakarian wins this. I would’ve been ok with a number of these chefs winning- mostly either Anne or Alex, but I would’ve been ok with Hughes, or even Irvine, for that matter. They would’ve been watchable & would’ve brought something new to ICA. Now the only good thing I can say about ICA is at least Alton is still there, & I will watch if Morimoto or Symon are competing, but that’s about it. If they’re going to continue NIC perhaps they can get better judges- I thought Symon did a good job, but the other two- Joo in particular, need to go! I wish they’d let Alton be a judge rather than the host of the show.
    Anyway, I’ll watch next week since I’ve already invested weeks of watching, but either way whoever wins I probably won’t watch on ICA, I just want ANYONE other than that Faulkner chick to win. She’s lame, no on knows who she is & other than making ice cream she didn’t do anything memorable.

    • Karen says:

      the only one worth watching now is Morimoto and whoever wins won’t change that…just like the judges have gone from people who probably know something about food to just celebrities…safe to say I’ll be watching even less than I do now (which is rarely). Asa poster on here said – since we can’t taste the food a lot of it is about the personality and for me neither of these works although if I had to pick one I’d pick Faulkner over Mr hello kitty fireplace man

  56. Ron says:

    I was bummed when Alex got the boot (she was my best hope after Anne got out). At this point, I’m definitely rooting for Zakarian. Granted, I can’t taste or smell the food, but the impression I’ve gotten is that he has consistently made excellent food. When I’m watching ICA, I don’t really see much of the Chef’s personalities play out, because it really does seem to be about what they actually are making. I really wonder what is up with the “fan favorite” thing as at least some of the people eliminated are pushing their fans to vote for them still.

  57. Jamie says:

    I had quit watching ICA a while ago after folks like Forgione and what’s his face came on board. Too fake for me, even though I’m fairly forgiving of things like Sandra Lee and what not.

    I TRULY wanted Alex on there. It would have made me a die hard fan again.

    The only way I’d watch it now is if Alex got to challenge and they made Zakarian the mystery ingrediant, roasting his bony ass over an open pit.

  58. Thanatos says:

    I knew that Falkner was gonna win this from episode 3 onward. They’ve been doing nothing but sucking her girlcock at every opportunity and even some times where there wasn’t. And of course zakarian is her set up to win, he’s such a douchebag that people will tune in just to see him fail, and because they probably recognize him from Chopped.

    God I hate FN; they are so embarrassingly predictable in their shows. If you’re gonna write a script for a show that isn’t supposed to be scripted, at least put a little effort into obfuscating it.

  59. ladycrim says:

    That tweet makes me love Alton even more!

  60. Bill says:

    Since Faulkner is closing her place in CA it would make sense that she would be relocationg to NY. At least that’s what I thought when I read about the crashing of her business.

  61. Hot Tams says:

    Zakarian is a cocky f#cker, but that’s one of the things I love most about him. It cracks me up HAHAHAH!!! Jillian, I love your site! You crack me up!! But with all due respect, Guarnaschelli seems ok. In my opinion, she’s just as cocky as the rest of them and she talks WAAAY too much (for me). And I understand we can’t taste the food, but I disagree that this is a personality, passion, and humility contest. It’s a test of whose food is best. I think the judges know their jobs and are choosing based on the food, mostly. It seems fair.
    Thanks for keeping this site running! More jokes about Giada, please HAHAHAAH!! Cheers!
    ~Tamara (rhymes with ‘camera’) heh!

  62. Ava says:

    Did anyone else notice how pissed Michael Symon looked when Joo was complaining about Alex’s chowder? I think he was really pulling to keep her around.

    I really was hoping that Alex would win. She’s got a ton of talent. I’ve eaten at her restaurant-at Morimoto’s, Bobby Flay’s and Jose Garces. Hers is just as good as all of them if not better. I really think she’s got talent and passion.

    As far as the winner goes, I think it’s going to be Faukner. GZ is too much of a princess. He gets too worked up and I just can’t see him pulling this off. Does anyone else see him freaking out in kitchen stadium? I think that’s one of the reasons they picked Forgione last time to win….cause the other guy was just as hot headed.

    • OpiesGal says:

      I noticed how Symon defended Alex and how Judy also sucked Faulkner’s girlcock as Thanatos so eloquently put it. I was rooting for Alex and think Chiarello is a total dickwad. Of COURSE his scallop was perfect. It was hilarious when the people who also tried the dish said the same thing. That scallop was overdone.
      On that note however, no need to watch this race anymore since my horse is out.

    • Plumpy says:

      Agreed that Zakarian gets too worked up (or “passionate”, shall we say). Kitchen Stadium needs somebody more chill who can take the pressure but still be entertaining. I’d boink Forgione in a New York minute but he’s a bore in Kitchen Stadium. I love Symon because he doesn’t take it too seriously yet he can still bring it.

  63. kiki says:

    I can’t stand Faulkner and when she smiles/grimaces my kids scream and cover their eyes. She has zero charisma and would be a dead weight on ICA.

  64. Sean says:

    I didn’t know Falkner lost her stores. I guess she’ll have more time to hang out with Judy Joo.

  65. Amanda says:

    I’ve lost the will to care…of course I have the whole season invested so I’ll watch next week, but I’ll likely be booing the whole time. Going in I’d truly wanted the finale to be Anne vs. Alex, with Anne for the win. Since the two of them are gone, meh. I will say though, I can’t stand Faulkner, so in that sense alone I hope Geoffrey wins. I have never – and will likely never again – rooted for Chiarello to win anything, but I sure wanted him to beat Faulkner last night.

  66. Sweet peppa says:

    Zakarian is the real deal and he deserves the win.
    Faulkner has all the acid and effect of a dead battery.
    She had to get there on favor not talent.

  67. Stix says:

    I wish a portion of the voting was done “a la” American Idol and allowed the viewers to vote. Sure we can’t taste the food but dammit personality is a major key in creating an iron chef. Who’s going to watch Iron Chef America if the chefs are unlikable?

  68. Cheffy says:

    FAULK ME!!!!!
    Jeff has got this victory in the bag, i mean fireplace.

  69. Kim says:

    I was really hoping a female would win in this testosterone filled game, but you know it has to be rigged!! They always choose a d-bag, so I’m thinking Zakarian is going to win. But I was rooting so hard for Anne and Alex. And last season I rooted for Chef Tio, and before that Freitag. Not so much Faulkner though. She has no personality, and generally just sucks. Despite Zakarian being a d-bag, I would rather him win than Faulkner.

  70. Scoobie-Doobie-Doo says:

    “My money has always been on someone with a lot of estrogen winning this. And since Chiarello is gone, that means it is Falkner’s to take. What do you think?”

    I think Chiarello’s estrogen level tops that of Falkner, so maybe your prediction was a little off! Easy mistake, tho….

    One thing that has stuck with me throughout the competition is the respect and admiration many of the Chefs verbalized for Zakarian during the secret ingredient cookoffs. Chiarello repeatedly would tell the others to “watch the Master.” You can’t exactly say that for Falkner, so perhaps GZ deserves the NIC title after all.

    • CrispyOnions says:

      “I think Chiarello’s estrogen level tops that of Falkner”

      That was the joke. That is exactly what the joke is saying.

  71. Helen says:

    May I just say that I LOVE Chef Zakarian and that Elizabeth Falkner is an untalented piece of complete crap? At least Zakarian isn’t completely rude to people competing against him, he doesn’t badmouth anyone. And yeah, I’m sad Alex went home too. I really wanted her to win, but I promise you, if Elizabeth Falkner comes out on top
    1- She is obviously putting something in the judges’ food.
    2- I will never watch Iron Chef American again unless Michael Symon is competing
    3- Judy Joo is to blame for everything

  72. ERNesbitt says:

    Am I the only one who caught the promo for “Celebrity Cook-Off”? It’s sort of a “Worst Cooks in America” format only I think the celebrities have more cooking talent than the “coaches”.

  73. uhyah says:

    My personal favorite Alton tweet of the night:
    AltonBrown: the truth: after sending home tonight’s non-winner, I left the table and threw up. #nextironchef @foodnetwork
    11 Dec

  74. Bellus says:

    The judges should not be allowed to know whose dishes they are tasting until after the fact. This would result in judging solely on flavor, creativity & plating.

  75. Bellus says:

    Go home Ninja Chef!

  76. jenny says:

    Falkner really has stepped it up in the last few competitions and demonstrated that she deserves to be there. She’s no longer just making desserts – she really killed it on her dishes last night, and I think she’s entertaining enough to watch on a regular basis.

    Definitely thinking Zakarian is going to win, though, because I think he is hands-down the most talented chef on the competition – he’s just so boring to watch sometimes.

  77. Charles says:

    Can you say “Product Placement?”

    • Ina Garten DaVida says:

      C’mon, doesn’t everyone serve their food on a mound of Keebler (R) cracker crumbs?

      Accompanied by a kwality wine like Entwine (R)?

      Very organic to the show. Not at all intrusive or dissonant.

  78. Cheffy says:

    Everyone is way too focused on who wins…
    The more important question is what twisted individual stole Alex Guarnaschelli’s make-up?

    any ideas? I bet it was that tramp Judy….

  79. Stormy says:

    I don’t care if she’s a personality black hole, I want Elizabeth Faulkner to win. I think she’d actually do very well in Kitchen Stadium. Plus, something about Geoffrey Zakarian just viscerally repulses me; same with Michael Chiarello. As far as I’m concerned, both of them can go run barefoot through a field of legos.

    I will actually be upset if Zakarian ends up taking this. Like, there will be yelling. Possibly thrown glassware.

  80. FanOfAnne says:

    I used to think Falkner was the sh*t, but I lost respect for her as a fellow woman chef when she appeared on Challenge and tattletaled on Duff Goldman and whined that he wasn’t following the rules. And her half-hearted self-deprecation on NIC was totally phony. I hope Zak kicks her a$$. But I have a feeling she won – both her major CA holdings went up for sale… so she would be free to tape Iron Chef battles… harrumph.

  81. FanOfAnne says:

    Random thought… with the exception of M. Simon, isn’t being named “the newest Iron Chef” a little like winning the grammy for “Best new act?” A fast track to oblivion… Can anyone actually name the other guys, their cooking styles, or anyone they’ve beaten?

    • Girl Fairy says:

      I doubt it. I’ve never watched either one of them compete on ICA. Every time I turn the show on & see one of the newer chefs (except for Symon) I turn it. But I also turn it whenever Bobby Flay is on, which is almost always…

    • Ina Garten DaVida says:

      Or like being the NEXT! FOOD! NETWORK! STAR!

      Sandwich King, where art thou? In the back with Aarti and Aaron…hidden away from prying eyes.

  82. Iggy says:

    I fervently hope that this whole series has been a charade. In the last episode, Alton will be strangely absent. Zakarian and Faulkner will cook their brains out with the best they’ve ever done.

    At the final table the Chairman will be present with the judges. After sampling both chefs’ dishes and listening to the judges, we’ll fade to the Chairman with Zak and Faulk. To his left, Faulkner, and to his right, Zakarian.

    The Chairman speaks: “Both chefs have produced amazing feasts. Our judges have spoken. The Next Iron Chef is…

    *Curtain on portrait pulls up to not reveal a portrait but…”


    Alton Brown: “Thank you. Between Chef Faulkner’s ice cream-capade and Chef Zakarian’s variety of fireplaces, the Chairman could not in good conscience choose either of you. He chose me because I know just as much as you and would be truly appreciated as an Iron Chef. Chef Guranashelli deserves much more and will be taking over hosting duties on Iron Chef, which means she won’t be available to spend time with Chef Noredonion and Chef Fireplace on Chopped. I’m sure she will be truly heartbroken but will get over it.”

    Chef Symon: “Shove it, Douchekarian. Sorry Faulkner, but we need a personality on the show and since Alton stopped making Good Eats, we couldn’t shut the god damned fans up.”

    Chef Morimoto: “Alton make excellent fruit cake. It help me beat Symon. I agree with Chairman.”

    Chef Symon: “Sausage and bacon!”

    Chef Guarnaschelli: “Does this make me the next Zinc Saucier and do I get double prize money?”

    Alton Brown: “Annnnd I am outta here.”

    Chairman: “ALLONS-Y!” (I’m Canadian!)

    • Ina Garten DaVida says:

      Chef Symon will also state that whatever he is served was cooked “perfect”

      FFS, Symon, don’t you know the difference between an adverb and an adjective??

  83. Candy says:

    I cannot watch Faulkner anymore, she always looks like someone farted directly into her mouth.

  84. Joseph Lyons says:

    I’ve always thought this whole show was to get some attention to a complete unknown (Faulkner) so that when she was hired as the next Iron Chef, it would have some credit to it. Methinks we’ve all been played.

  85. cranberrryupsideupcake says:

    Chef Elizabeth Falkner is very talented. – she’s the only one who can tackle both sweet and savory well. Her dishes have been inventive – come on Jerky souffle people! I think she has a dry sense of humor that’s really quite good – but not sure that it translates to quick cut editing. Let Alton come up with the quips – he’s good at it, so too the judges – she just has to cook and do it well enough to win.
    No question Chef Zakarian is an excellent chef in his own right but I just can’t take his pomposity (yes Alton I’m with you…)
    Unfortunately based on the preview it looks like Zakarian prevails. When you hear a comment like” she created a dish I will never forget” – you know the editors are throwing out a sneaky bone to point us all in the wrong direction and add some drama.

  86. jj says:

    The thought of Faulkner winning… nah. What’s the meme? If that happens, I don’t want to live on this planet anymore.

    OK, not true, but my interest in ICA will have ended.

  87. frankielou says:

    I just saw Anne Burrell on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart and I like her more than ever! She’s funny. She said she’s working on something with Bobby Flay for next year. After hearing the interview, I don’t think Next Iron Chef is rigged because she was too upset about being eliminated. She also said she and Alex G. were tweeting like crazy during Sunday’s episode. Jon Stewart watches NIC competition,too. If you have a chance to watch this interview, you should.

    • I think the competition is 100% real … to the COMPETITORS. Just because I think the producers and Food Network exec’s have a winner in mind, doesn’t mean that the CONTESTANTS know who that is.

    • Mark says:

      I saw her on there too. I honestly never liked her too much before, but I had respect for her. After watching that ever-so-short interview, I really came to love her.

  88. Dee says:

    I’d never even heard of Faulkner before this season. I was srsly hoping Anne would win, and then Alex (even though she seems pretty bitchy most of the time). I just can’t get it up for Elizabeth the way Judy Joo can, and Zakarian, though quite knowledgeable, is a frecking douchelord. So my vote is MEH.

  89. Plumpy says:

    Yup. Falkner will win. Iron Chef America is in need of some estrogen. Mr. Seven Fireplaces won’t win. His pruney-faced pomposity is highly valued on Chopped.

  90. CityBoy says:

    I’m really less than interested in this…I just hope that Geoffrey Zakarian wins. I could stomach watching him. Like Jose Garces, whom I loathe, I would always be cheering for the challenger against any theoretical “Iron Chef Falkner.”

    The final two should have been Alex and Anne. Geoffrey should have come in…third…maybe…and Falkner no higher than eighth.

  91. Paul Hunter says:

    Of course it’s rigged, it has nothing to do with cooking ability. It’s about ratings, demographics and marketing. Falkner will win for the simple reason that Cora is gone. With FN’s ratings down 10% (and falling) they can’t afford to tick off even one segment of the target audience.

    On another note another sign of FN’s desperation is the show pairing Rachael Ray and Guy Fieri.. Just one of them with a show is annoying, the two together will be horrid. One can only hope that it spells the end of Fieri’s show and career on FN.

  92. Ben says:

    My god. I am amazed so many people were for Alex. I can’t stand the woman. Of course, I started out not liking her after seeing her judge on another shows. She IS pretentious, long winded, and has the worst damn food analogies I’ve ever heard.

    I’m for Zakarian – I don’t think Faulkner has a very well defined style, though I was impressed that she took down Chiarello without any of her usual pastry tricks.

  93. Joodgasm says:

    I don’t care much about either one but I think I care about Falkner the least. I would rather see Zakarian win but I don’t see it happening. Oh wait, but the show isn’t fixed, anyone could win … yeah right.

  94. Anna says:

    I really thought everyone would be for Faulkner. I can’t believe people don’t like her! She seems to know her stuff. And she doesn’t talk all the fucking time like Alex.

    Go silver fox!

  95. gary says:

    Darth Zakarian!

  96. JanieJones says:

    Lots of chef’s are d-bags. It is a common trait in the profession! ICA should be more about talent than personality.

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