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We are not affiliated with the Food Network, or any of their hosts, in any way. This is a satire, humor, and parody website.
(c) 2012 Food Network Humor - All Rights Reserved
We are not affiliated with the Food Network, or any of their hosts, in any way. This is a satire, humor, and parody website.
(c) 2012 Food Network Humor - All Rights Reserved














THIS WEEK: Another tailgating weekend! Alex G's onion rings, an awful slow cooker experience, Ina & Jeffrey Garten's lame steak throwdown, Jennifer Hudson's annoying Weight Watchers commercial, Restaurant Impossible's cheap makeovers, and more.





27 Responses
Ok … you’ve done it again, I loved this post! I fully expect to see these for sale in the Food Network store. The ace of cakes one is priceless. Take that, Mary Alice.
you know, i think that is exactly how giada would have pronounced the word “ipod” if it were an italian word.
i can just hear it now:
iii–uhhhh—-poooohhhhhhddddd-eeeeeeeeeee
with a little finger pinch thrown in for good measure
Random annoyance: I hate the double I’s in Giada’s last name! Liked this post!
Guy Fieri’s hair is somewhat annoying, how does he keep it so white? Ha…
Too funny!! Again! My particular favorite is the Neely’s. Loved Ace of Cakes, too. Both right on. I’m surprised you didn’t come up with one for Paula Deen – like an ipod that dispenses butter or your favorite condiment like mayo or sour cream.
You gals are just too funny. This site was so badly needed. As a life long FN viewer, I don’t know what to make of the descent they have made into the toilet, but this site certainly helps with the pain I feel .
Are you comedy writers ? Your stuff is hilarious. You pick on the people that definitely deserve it.
You writing style and op/ed angles reminds me of the gals over at http://www.gofugyourself.com
Keep it coming.
Ha ha! Great post and Sasha-I love that you are annoyed by the spelling of Giada’s last name.
Surprised you didn’t do one for Big Daddy and Sunny. By the way, what happened to all of the Sunny snarks on the main page?
Guys,
We will be posting “More Limited Edition Food Network Ipods” down the road. I’d never neglect Paula Deen and my favorite, BIG DADDY!
CuisineBoy, as for the Sunny “How’d THAT get on my plate” photos, I deleted them because after looking at them a little longer, I didn’t think they were all that funny. Trying to keep a high standard around here! More will be back in the future!
Jill
I loved them all! I’m surprised there isn’t one of Ina that says: Ina Garten I-pod: Recipes that you can’t afford.
Hey I was just checking your bios. Boy , both you sisters are quite the hotties. Any chance we could hook up for a drink or lemme guess… you are both taken ?
Keep up the good work though.
Oh my God! I thought I was the only one that thought the Neely’s needed to be on HBO with warnings. They are just gross. I like sex with my food or food with my sex sometimes as a special playtime, but those two are just nasty.
I keep waiting for him to stick the power plug to the mixer in her crotch and say “Power baby!” *shudder*
No kidding, I just can’t watch the Neely’s without wanting to take a shower. They’re obnoxious.
Plus Ina Garten when Geoffrey gets home on the
weekends, she’s drooling on him. I’m waiting for
an episode when she rips his clothes off!
Ewwwwww gross! She creeps me out!
Heeyy! I have a Zune-HD touch! I love it; Don’t hate hahaha xD lol
30% broken Zune parts, lol. don’t give her any ideas, though I wouldn’t mind seeing her take on a silicon valley tablescape for your next LAN party.
*basslines
Ina’s can only be found in specialty stores, and Melissa’s costs less than $10.
I was thinking Ina’s was delivered by 3 Hampton Gays and came covered in “GOOD” Denim Shent
Very funny post, Jillian. Though, I think a Guy Ferry iPod would give me more than a headache. I’m thinking more overwhelming and crippling nausea. Possibly even the Black Death… or an STD.
My hosts iPod should have said “powered 70% by interferon and 30% by Stoli’s”. I’m just saying.
I’d totally buy the Neely one. Because you just *can’t* go wrong with Barry…
*wow-chikka-wow-wow-wow*…
I’d like an Alton Brown iPod that tells you how it works when you turn it on.
the Guy Fieri iPod should come pre-loaded with wanna be gangsta songs and Larry the Cable Guy comedy specials…..
The Alton Brown iPod also runs the android OS.
Giada is from Italy; it’s very unnatural to pronounce words in ways other than what you are used to . . . my first language was Italian too, though I’ve been here since babyhood. Saying Italan words (like marscapone) the Italian way is just what comes naturally for Giada, not pretention. I have to remember to say “bi-scott-ee instead of “bee-scoe-tee” to the coffee server so he knows what I mean. Sometimes I don’t remember or catch myself mid-word; it’s a chore and confusing for the brain, and I wouldn’t do it either, on the show, if I was Giada.
Imagine being in a country where they ate hot dogs, and spelled it “hot dogs” but pronounced it “hut duggs.” It is really hard to make your brain remember that, and then make your mouth do it. It can be done, but it isn’t natural and takes more effort than you might imagine, no matter how many years go by – especially if you still have your family around, and say “hot dogs” at home.
Not sure that you’re suggesting Giada’s being pretentious with her pronunciation. Just a guess on my part; but if so, I gotta disagree. If it was Rachael Ray or Guy Fieri, then I would agree.
Oh God, the Ray Ray picture made me cry from laughter
LOL at all of those, the Ray Ray one is good.