NOTE: FNH is on hiatus for a few months and will feature reposts and limited new material.
Ina Garten’s Turning Into Sandra Lee
---Ina Garten Loves Her Gay Men
---A Message From Ina Garten
---How To Make An Episode Of Barefoot Contessa
---“GOOD” New Ina Garten Parody Videos Hit The Internet
Ina Garten »
Ina Garten’s Turning Into Sandra Lee
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On this weekend’s episode of Barefoot Contessa, Ina threw a “barnyard” engagement party for her friend’s son. And look at the menu! Aside from a few slaws and salads that even Stevie Wonder could have put together after a night of binge drinking, everything was picked up at a specialty shop or grocery store. HOW EASY IS THAT!
Tune into Barefoot Contessa next week, when Ina squeezes some store-bought lemon into some store-bought Evian.
Other posts on Food Network Humor:
---Ina Garten Storyline On 30 Rock---Ina Garten Loves Her Gay Men
---A Message From Ina Garten
---How To Make An Episode Of Barefoot Contessa
---“GOOD” New Ina Garten Parody Videos Hit The Internet
- Ina Garten
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We are not affiliated with the Food Network, or any of their hosts, in any way. This is a satire, humor, and parody website.
(c) 2012 Food Network Humor - All Rights Reserved
94 Responses
Yeah. When I saw the intro to this episode I thought, “So is she making anything?” I was quickly answered. No, she’s not really making anything, she’s just filling her contract requirements for another episode and doesn’t feel like doing anything. Lame.
You have to admit, though, there’s a difference between Ina’s “store bought” and Aunt Sandy’s “store bought.” :) Notice the stores that Ina and Barbara shopped at, complete with, “Put it on my account!”
Exactly! I’d store buy from a gourmet market in East Hampton too!!
But only a GOOD store in East Hampton!
But still, Ina is professional chef.
This is like an artist who buys all of his paintings at Target.
* is a
Sorry. -_-
Yes, because we all have specialty boutiques and delicatessens here in Shitoutofluckia.
Wow. Some friend.
I’ve noticed that on at least two other eps of her show, Ina has done the ol’ “how wasy is that” after buying everything for her parties and throwing the items on plates. Then with a flourish she pronounces that “dinner is done!” with a wink and a smile, never once actually cooking or baking jack-shit! Now that’s my kind of woman!
Yeah, the one that springs to mind is the episode where she hosted a luncheon with Mariska Hargitay and Alec Baldwin as a prize for a battered-women’s charity auction. She put minimal effort into it, making cold soup and lobster salad with store-bought lobster. The worst part was the guests paid $100,000 to make their own desserts!
Guilty secret–Ina is one of my favorites. The odd thing is, I have watched her make everything on that list on one episode or another. Except the baked beans. Usually she just announces it and goes “here’s how to do it”.
She’s made baked beans before on the show before. Used about 350 ingredients.
ha ha ha
Hey, as long as it’s a GOOD store-bought lemon you toss into your store-bought water, all is well. And who wouldn’t love water?
And if you can’t find GOOD bottled water, regular tap water will work just fine…
I got the “I’m too busy I think I’ll throw a show together” feeling from that episode. And I thought it was weird that she and Jeffrey couldn’t attend the rehearsal dinner of her good friend and assistant’s son that was thrown at her own house!!!! Was she going to miss the wedding too? Okay, I’m starting to scare myself–this is TV not real life :–)
LMAO! I thought the very same thing. Not only did she not make 90% of the food, but she didn’t even attend the party. WTF??
Is it possible that the people she has on her show aren’t really her close personal friends, but just random Hamptons people she thought would look good?
How easy is that?
Most of Ina’s friends are random Hamptons people…except for her gays whom she’s known for years. This show almost seemed like an insult to the woman. Waste of an episode…hasn’t she already plugged most of those stores numerous times before?
And 90% of those people were store bought as well.
If you think that her friend/assistant Barb looks good, you don’t have a High Def TV… omfg. that woman up close looks about 80.
It wasn’t a gay wedding, so who cares?
I’m going to try going to Subway for lunch today for some good bread, good turkey, and good mayo and ask to have it all put on my account.
I’m still laughing at this one.
How’d that work for you?
She did make a last minute guacamole, don’t forget.
Yes, that was very special :)
I used to genuinely like Ina, because she made good recipes and left out the phony, elaborate story lines. Now, it’s just a lot of prepared stuff and more bad acting than a high school play. Her poor assistant–can you imagine having to act like you’re happy with this “spread?”
Wow, yeah…that’s pretty much just phoning it in. I hope her friend dug up some of her hydrangea bushes in retaliation.
So funny!
They should change the name of the show to “I Just Don’t Give A Fuck Anymore”.
LMFAO…..i have no words..i think even i could pull off that party
Only if you have a Platinum Amex card in your wallet.
I learned alot about buyin stuff.
Yeah, but Ina didn’t cover the lobster salad in Taco Seasoning and then bake it with crumbled fritos on top and call it “Fish Taco Casserole.” Therein lies the difference. Taste vs. no taste.
This! Laughing so hard right now! (and also the Stevie Wonder binge drinking remark!)
Okay, I could see buying the smoked brisket. There are some professionally done ones out there now that are darn good, and don’t take all day (a GOOD brisket cannot be rushed, young padawan). But come on – precooked shrimp? BLEAH!!!
At least she had sense enough to get New England-style clam chowder, though. Manhattan, I love ya, but there is something very, very wrong with tomatoes in clam chowder.
Here’s the deal (imo); there’s nothing wrong with the way Sandy cooks. MILLIONS of people buy frozen, jarred or boxed store product, add a few personal touches and put it on the table. I have zero issue with that.
Similarly, it’s totally fine to buy fancy store product, add a few personal touches and put that on the table too. It’s done aaaaallll the time.
The thing is: you DON’T make a FOOD TELEVISION show about it! The entire Sandy-show-as-a-concept, and this, Ina’s-phone-it-in-episode, are absurd wastes of everyone’s time, to the point of being insulting.
The obviousness of “throwing together a few things” to set on a table is akin to a television show about people needing air to breathe.
Tru dat.
Exactly!
This is why I don’t watch the food network any more.
Unless she used Cool Whip or pumpkin pie spice, she’s no Sandy.
Or 8 gallons of vodka + 3 gallons of strange liqueurs + 2 metric tons of absurd, choking-hazard garnish.
Pie always tastes better with a little Cool Hwhip.
And a vat of vodka!
Hey I say it’s just equal opportunity here. She doesn’t have time to cook with children who have cancer as well as her privileged Hampton friends! She wants us to know no one is worth her time!
Even if it was acceptable to show storebought food on a cooking show, which it’s not (you’re a COOK! COOK something!); she isn’t even showing food that normal people (read: we 99%ers) can even find at their local stores. Wanna know the last time I saw lobster rolls at Jewel? NEVER! Get a grip, Ina.
Giada is pulling this shit, too. Just saw her using boxed cake mix for her cupcakes and didn’t even bother to gussy it up.
P.S. That first picture is the GREATEST. She just looks so terribly pleased.
to be fair, giada’s too busy giving blow jobs to john mayer and michael bublé to make homemade cake.
LOL! I hadn’t heard about Michael Buble. That damn silky voice of his must be compromising her work ethic.
What about the ‘video’ she watched of the event at the end of the episode? Did those people look like they were having a good time?
I’m guessing yes, because Ina said it 87 fucking times.
Now, if that had been a gay wedding, Ina would have totally cooked. Her gay entourage have high standards.
Hahaha! I was thinking the same thing!
and yet strangely enough, none of them can cook…
The thing I find most delightful about this is that the wine she is serving is Rex Goliath, available for $4.99 at your neighborhood Target. For all she jazzes about good ingredients, she sure did pick one of the cheapest wines out there.
Note: I am in no way defaming Rex Goliath, as their Cabernet is my favorite wine, hence why I could recognize that label from a mile away. It just never occurred to me that a poor pastry chef like me would ever be purchasing the same wines as someone that owns a Mercedes.
Exactly–this is the first thing I noticed from the photos! I like Rex as well, but yeah, it’s a $5 wine.
WHERE ARE THE FORUMS???
Byrdie, I have no idea, I only got on here by going to Pophangover because this site was blocked somehow. I miss all of my friends.
Judith, I’m with you. Too many things going on with our buds to end so abruptly. I’m hoping things will be back to normal soon. Hopefully we’ll be back on track when Jill finishes doing the computer voodoo stuff.
My question is how much is it going to cost? And can she afford it?
yup yup…I’m missing the wisdom and fun of the forum..
Go get em Ms Jillian… (insert smiley face emoticon here)
And one more thing…….how about the amount of food they bought so the 2 of them to test it???? I thought the assistant Barbara was buying the food for the party. It was enough food to feed a 3rd world country. Ina’s shent must have been pulling at the seams after that orgy.
“Ina’s shent must have been pulling at the seams after that orgy.”
I love this! What a visual.
I was so hoping to see a recap of Aunt Sandy eating a $1000 Sunday at Serendipity and showing off at Daniel. It screamed “look where I eat $400 dinners here and guess what…you can’t afford them.”
And, then she showed how to make poor person’s verison of her favorite dishes. It was on either right before or right after this show.
Rex Goliath is $6.99 here. (not $4.99) Does that inch it toward being a “good” wine? I have some open right now…
Oooh your getting ripped off! I’m surprised that the Chicago market has the advantage. Although, it’s probably cheaper here due to the copious amounts I consume…as I take another swig of my old pal Rexy
I admit I didn’t see this episode but shrimp, white chowder and lobster rolls sitting out in the sun? “Don’t have any food poisoning without me. Uh-heh, uh-heh, uh-heh.”
LLLOOOLLL!!! Oh my God, the comments on this post are killing me.
WHAT happened to the FNH Forum ? Don’t tell me it’s over . That would sadden me.
There’s alot of backchanneling going on regarding the forums….long story short, NOBODY would be happy if the FORUMS were history. It’s part of what makes FNH, well, FNH! It’s the real ‘foodie’ portion of the site and an asset to folks who love to cook and share. We’re all hoping that when the hardware switch is completed that we’ll be back posting recipes, inspiring each other with food porn and laughing our collective arses off!
The other night Jill posted in the Forum that she would be taking it down and switching over to a new program. She said it would take about a week. Stay tuned…….
Thanks, Clo! That’s certainly good news.
But the bad news: A WHOLE WEEK!??
Oh, that is good news then. Let’s hope it happens soon.
I’m having major withdrawel symptons, I need a fix BAD!!!
Jill,
Breaking news: Dessert first chef under fire for copying recipes from cookbooks.
The whole stupid channel phones everything in..not surprising.
“How Lazy Is That” is going to be the name of her new show.
What was getting on my nerves really really bad was her auh, uh, uh. uh… each time she saw a party member doing something fun… oh, ah. ah.. stfu already. I honestly hope that these shows are written and that she really doesn’t come up with these lame ideas for shows…
It’s not even a cooking show at this point, it’s a “here is an idea for throwing a party” show.
@Cari Bear, re. the Rex Goliath, I live in Ohio where alcohol taxes are horrendous. Good old Charles Shaw from Trader Joe’s, known as “Two Buck Chuck,” is up to a whopping $3.79 here now.
When you said Ina was turning into Sandy, I thought , “What, she’s becoming an alcoholic with 2 cocktails per episode?” GOOD cocktails of course.
Am I the only one that isnt seeing the FNH button at the top???
I didn’t know they still threw engagement parties. Was there a store-bought cake with a store-bought peeler inside?
Oh wait… that’s a different party.
I feel so bad for the bride!
Here’s this poor girl who finds out that Ina Garten is going to cater her rehearsal dinner, probably for free as the setup for the show. She’s doing the happy dance, all excited because INA GARTEN is going to cater her rehearsal dinner.
The day arrives, and the bride is feeling pretty special because she got lucky and is marrying a guy who has this great connection…except all Ina does is open a few tubs of deli takeout, while the bride thinks “well, shit! I coulda done THAT!”
I hope the wedding caterer puts Ina to shame (which wouldn’t be all that tough, considering…)
(sorry, hit send mid-thought) — and it makes me really wonder about Ina’s morals (don’t worry, I don’t spend much time on this subject) — there was all the collective gasping when she left that kid with cancer out in the cold because she just didn’t have the time to spend an hour cooking with a kid with a terminal illness…
So now she’s got a staff member’s son who’s getting married, so she reluctantly agrees to have a show about their rehearsal dinner, but she really doesn’t give a shit, so she just throws together some takeout crap.
Nice work Ina — karma’s a bitch.
Is FNH still part of Pophangover? Why are all of the PH sites dying?
i’m wondering the same thing. this silence is deafening.
Has been a while since something new has been posted. Jillian posted she’ll be away for a few months…
….and you’re poor.
At least Sandra throws a few things together and pretends to cook.
I love the make your own chicken stock not store bought you lazy bitches.
Buy 4 chickens, (really 4??) put them in your terribly expensive stock pot, throw in a bunch of really good stuff and viola. Sure Ina. How ’bout you send me the
money to make my own?
This episode plus the recent new one this weekend really irritated me. Its like she does not want to cook at all! Lazy ho!
Dude, I’m just happy to see that Ina is finally wearing a different colored shirt. I don’t get why so many hosts are now wearing the same outfit over and over in every episode. If they want to wear a uniform, they should get some kind of stupid chef costume and wear that shit. Ina spent like, 5 seasons wearing that giant black “specialty” shirt and highwater black pants. I don’t get it.
(This is a repeat b/c it fell off.) Shrimp, white chowder, lobster rolls and slaws out in the sun on a hot day? I can just hear it…”Don’t have any food poisoning without me!” (Nervous, maniacal giggle, nervous maniacal giggle.)
I was a little disappointed – BUT, anytime Joe Realmuto from Town Line BBQ is shown, mmm mmm mmm mmm! That man makes me…!
just watched the re run and had to look at all your comments. HI larious. And if the wedding was the next morning and she and jeffie were out of town, she didn’t go to the wedding either.
I thought the BBQ guy was hot too, why not feature him for twenty minutes instead of watching the poor woman have to go and buy everything for in a to take credit for?
What dress was the bride wearing on this episode (rehersal dinner)?