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The Food Network: Closed Captioned
---The Food Network: Closed Captioned
---Anne Burrell: Closed Captioned
---Bobby Flay’s Wife On Grill It
---30 Minute Meals – Closed Captioned
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The Food Network: Closed Captioned
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[Ed. note: Did you ever watch the Food Network closed captioned? We have, and it can be hilarious! The best part? The captions are real - we didn't even have to make them up.]
Other posts on Food Network Humor:
---The Food Network: Closed Captioned (12/18/09)---The Food Network: Closed Captioned
---Anne Burrell: Closed Captioned
---Bobby Flay’s Wife On Grill It
---30 Minute Meals – Closed Captioned
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We are not affiliated with the Food Network, or any of their hosts, in any way. This is a satire, humor, and parody website.
(c) 2012 Food Network Humor - All Rights Reserved
37 Responses
Giada – classic foodgasm!
But the 1st and last shots of RR made me laugh out loud…
Thanks Jillian – I can always count on you to make me laugh!
Jeez, Giada, keep it in your pants!
indeed.
Giada made me feel like I should light a cigarette.
I did!!!
Or take a cold shower.
I just heard Ina’s nervous giggle in my head when I read that.
Me too! Haha.
Ahaha, same here.
you nailed it, me too!!!
#1: Pans don’t scare me anymore after seeing that.
#2: Giada auditioning for a remake of “When Harry met Sally”?
#3: I can’t believe they actually captioned “MM MM MM”.
#4: “As good as a $2 bottle of vanilla.”
#7: Ok, ok, I love your salad! Just put the knife down, please!
GOOD vanilla!
#1: “I’m doing my Pissed Off Oprah look!”
#2: She’s referring to the naked production crew and you can use your imagination for the rest…
#3: “It tastes like chicken but it smells like…”
#4: “Sorry Ina, even with zooming out and wide angle I still can’t fit all of you in the screen.”
#5: She’s singing “America” from West Side Story
#6: “Look you fat bitch… if you say ‘french pro-vin-SAL’ once more time this trip I will smack you upside the head!”
#7: “Bring it on Giada… I’ve got mafiosos connections too!”
Favorite has to be the “mm mm mm”
Well, Ray Ray, JAAAAHHNN doesn’t just love your salad. That’s why you have your Batter Finger.
Ina: “How do I look in your movie? Do I look good?”
Jack: “Hell, no, you look like a house. But if I don’t go along with this lame-o schtick, how ever will I get my pretty face on national TV? Hmmmm???? Hey, guys…I’m SING-le…!!!”
I’ve seen the “coctail party” episode of BC many times and always have the same reaction – said aloud to the television: “You look FAT, Ina!”
How did Jillian manage to get two grabs of Retched looking like a vampire?
subtext of Jeffrey’s freezeframe: “you’re the best picnic maker I know” “…and you better be or you know what (makes knifing motion across throat)”
LMAO RR is so freakin’ creepy! The first freeze frame will give me nightmares!
The first pic of RR…brings to mind the fairy tale by Brothers Grimm; Little Red Riding Hood. Boy, RR is the empitome of the big bad wolf in that pic. SCARRYY
Ina should also say, “After you film me……turn the camera on your sexy camel toe Mr. Photog”.
lol.. I was thinking the same thing.
Mooseknuckle!!
I SO wish the Rachael Ray screen cap said “nom nom nom” instead.
XD that sounds like something my fiance would say lol
The Giaadagasm makes me feel warm on a chilly day.
:-)
I think Jeffrey is adorable. In Ina’s Chefography they showed pix of them when they were young and Jeffrey was very nice looking and Ina was quite pretty. She looked like a younger, much prettier Ali McGraw. I’m surprised Jeffrey isn’t fatter being surrounded by all of that good food all of the time. Maybe it’s the traveling.
Agreed! I think they make the cutest couple. 40+ years together…shit, that’s a testament nowadays with 72-day marriages being the norm!
Why does Rachel Ray even have closed caption? She talks SO much with her hands that it resembles sign language.
RR needs to just stop already. That EVOO shit drives me up the wall! We’ve all seen your show more times than we’d like to, WE KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN WHEN YOU SAY EVOO! Please, stop reiterating it every five seconds. How does this woman still have a show? Oh, wait, because Oprah loves her…those two deserve each other. Let’s all say a hooray for mindless Americans who like everything Oprah tells them to!
Okay, Rayray, I love your salad! I really, really do!! Now slowly and carefully back away and place the obnoxiously orange knife down…
Ray-Ray’s Faces-
1. Smells her horrible cooking
2. Staring at husband during awkward anniversary
3. Currently has diarhea (from her cooking)
Has anyone ever counted how many times the average FN chef uses the word “flavor” in an episode?
The facial expressions are the funniest part. Gotta love Rachael.
eeeYikes! The Rachael can get kinda scary looking, too.
I love the “stocking’s not the only thing getting stuffed” and “how could you not love this salad?” with the knife