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Worst Cooks in America: Season 3 Episode 1 Recap
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Another year, another season of Worst Cooks in America! This time, it’s undefeated champion Anne Burrell’s red team vs. Bobby Flay’s blue team. And once again, the 16 competitors were complete disasters – both in, and out, of the kitchen.
Meet Dorothy. She’s a make-up artist who boasted that she put her husband in the hospital two times. She didn’t mention it was due to retinal injuries sustained from prolonged eye exposure to her hair.
Then there’s Sarina, the single wedding photographer who sounds like she spends all her time freebasing helium.
And what about dear Melissa, the monotone woman who thought it would be a good idea to use her HAND as a blender lid.
Rounding out the contestant pool are Rachel and Bob… lovely people, who unfortunately look like cult members. Hey Rachel, Sally Jessy Raphael called. She wants her glasses back. And hey Bob: Conditioner is your friend. Squirt some into your hand. Just the SIZE OF A DIME.
The contestants cooked a dish from scratch for Anne and Bobby, and then the chefs picked their teams. In my opinion, Anne got the better team. Time will tell.
For the first challenge, the contestants replicated a breakfast dish of pancakes, bacon, and eggs as demonstrated by Anne and Bobby. For the most part, it was a disaster. People forgot ingredients, missed steps, and just fucked things up in general. Dorothy, in particular, had some serious issues and didn’t seem to like being corrected by Anne.
Of course it’s Anne’s way or the highway. You’re on Worst Cooks in America, honey. And might I say, hopefully Anne’s way will soon involve a box of L’oreal because that pink hair has got to go. Girl, you worth it.
In the end, Anne named Kelli the winner of the red team and Bobby named Tiffany (the professional poker player) the winner of the Blue team. Tiffany proclaimed: “For this moment I suck the least! That is a good place to be!” Ah yes. Clearly Tiffany is used to… uh… “sucking” the most.
Anne booted Richard, the annoying Asian guy who didn’t seem to take anything seriously. Bobby booted Libby, the annoying Sandra Lee-ish shop-at-home TV host who just couldn’t get her shit together.
And that brought this week’s episode to an end! Stay tuned next week, when the final 14 pull on their noodles. This is riveting television here, people. Jillian Madison, over and out.
Other posts on Food Network Humor:
---Worst Cooks In America: Season 2 Episode 1 Recap (1/2/11)---Worst Cooks In America: Episode 1
---If Anne Burrell Lost Worst Cooks In America…
---Comment of the Week: Worst Cooks in America Edition
---Food Network Has The “Worst Cooks In America”
- Worst Cooks In America
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62 Responses
It was good, but we all know my mom, Sonia the Semi-Home Maker Transvestite needs to be a contestant.
Are people seriously this dumb!? Vanilla chicken? DISHWASHER SALMON!?
A bit of Googling revealed that dishwasher salmon is in fact a thing.
Sigh.
I thought I remembered that from about the 70′s? Still sounds like a bad idea.
What the fuck? Tiffany from The Amazing Race?
I knew I recognized her! At least she wasn’t from some Rock of Love BS or something. I enjoy TAR but the contestants run together for me after a while.
Dishwasher salmon guy was my FAVORITE for this line: Well, you didn’t have a dishwasher so I had to use the oven.
Yeah, it stinks when you have to settle for cooking food in an oven, dude.
Yep, Bob needs a dimes worth of conditioner all right.
Or a dime bag’s worth.
Anne seemed to be preoccupied with Bob.
Aww, no more Richard. His facial expressions were so funny! This episode was just so funny in general. This is the biggest batch of clueless people yet.
“I think this is a can opener,” from the supposed TV shopping channel host. That or it’s a thermonuclear device. Yeah, one or the other.
I wonder if Sarina is Korean, like Debbie?
Debbie is Korean?
Rachel’s glasses aren’t Sally Jesse Raphael’s they are Charles Nelson Riley’s!
So true, but then again it is nice to see Mayim Bialik on TV once more.
Then watch her on Big Bang Theory.
I love how BFlay was all befuddled at how bad these people were. Did he not watch the previous seasons before signing on?
No. No he did not
I’m pretty sure that he’s ignorant of any FN show he isn’t on. (actually that’s a plus for BF)
What a rip-off. We didn’t get to seem Bobby and Anne actually eat anything (except for that one time Anne gagged on the mac-n-cheese-n-relish).
Haven’t they already done the sorta pretty girl, but w/nerdy glasses contestant in previous seasons? I say she’s a ringer.
Ha! That is EXACTLY what I was thinking about the “oh I’ve been picked last in dodgeball again” girl! I predict she wins – and becomes the swan from the ugly duckling – she’s totally a plant and once again FN has put me one step closer to never watch them again. If I want to see staged crap (bad enough I’ve only watched any form of reality TV on FN) I’d watch Bravo, TLC, or any of the other crappy networks!! I thought The Next Foodnetwork Star sucked this year and was staged….where the hell are the actual cooking shows anymore??
Compared to the Celebrity cooking show this is Emmy worthy!
As a person in the poker community, I know very well who Tiffany Michele is. And it’s not good. She nearly reached the final table of the World Series of Poker Main Event in 2008. She was the last woman standing but her behavior was FAR from ladylike. Her calling of the clock on a fellow player (Paul Snead) when she wasn’t even IN THE HAND was a watershed moment during the event, and in my mind this is where she set the karma to bite her in the ass later on. Let’s see if the bad karma goes on during this, although I will be the first person to say that poker players as a group are truly lousy cooks. Some of them have a hard time with Easy Mac.
Uh…. Has that Melissa chic been on another show or something? Because she seems to look vaguely familar to me.
This is the most boring and predictable show. Exaggerated dumb asses for the sake of being on camera. And – wtf – Burrell’s 1980 hair? She looks creepy and old…..lol hanging onto her youth.
I love Anne’s hair. There’s nothing new under the sun when it comes to hair or fashion. It’s all recycled and most of it is boring.
Thank you ! … I kind of liked the competition with Bo and Robert and Ann, but this season is just stupid, without the funny … Why would BF do this to himself ?
I removed the show from by que, I don’t care to see anymore of it.
My first reaction to Dorothy’s pic was “Man, Imoen has really let herself go…”
The first time I heard Sabrina speak I about rolled off the couch laughing. I think they must be paying these dipwads to be this bad at EVERYTHING. And if I hear any more pull your noodle jokes for next week I will shoot myself.
I’ve often wondered just how much of a put on this show is. There just never really seemed to be much of an excuse to me for people to be so totally incompetent in the kitchen. I mean, cooking shows have been on TV since Julia Child, who taught us everything from the very basics to fairly advanced pastry making. Then again, you just have to look at the total crap the likes of Sandra Lee puts out there, and you see that it’s not only the contestants, but the TV cooks they watch who don’t know a mandoline from a mandolin. Maybe it’s unfair to compare PBS programs put out there are meant to teach as opposed to FoodNetwork whose first goal seems to be to entertain. I owe everything I know, and the compliments I receive to the cooking shows I’ve watched. I still have flops every once in a while, who doesn’t? It’s still edible (except that Rachel Ray stir fry using jarred Italian mixed veg I made about 10 years ago, that went straight in the trash, and I ordered pizza.) and I never sent anyone to the ER.
I also always watch the show in wonderment about how much of it is staged. I just can’t fathom being such a moron that you can repeatedly send family members to the hospital without being the sort of person who has to wear a helmet.
Well, at least she didn’t stick her hand near the blades like that professional on Chopped…
Yeah, have to question sometimes how fake it is… I have no experience and even I wouldn’t put a whole bottle of soy sauce in anything. But I can believe the human race is that dense.
And I also think Bobby picked a worse team. Bobby, were you paying attention? Of course it doesn’t matter though and that means he’ll probably win. That weird crazy New York lady with the scissors and the not listening…
WHAT THE HELL IS BROCCOLI RAYBE?!
That woman who keeps referring to utensiles as “instruments” seems to have some mental issues.
Really horrible Food Network. If this is the best kind of show they can come up with, I will stick PBS.
This show is so staged, they supposedly don’t know how to use a pepper mill? Even Nell would know how to use a pepper mill.
That is definitely Tiffany from The Amazing Race and I think the long haired freak is Joey Petroni.
Dorothy looks like Tyne Daly and Pink had a really big baby.
I hope Rachel manages to hang in there for a few episodes. What can I say, I have a thing for the geeky librarian types.
I’ve never understood the premise of this show. They start with people who can’t cook worth a damn. Then they proceed to eliminate, one by one…anyone who can’t cook worth a damn. It just seems cruel and insulting right out of the starting gate.
I have to admit, this show is a guilty trainwrecky pleasure for me. The contestants seem to be a mix of people that are genuinely terrible cooks, people that are non-cooks (which is to say, they don’t cook anything beyond the most simple foods and rely on carryout), people that seem oddly lacking in knowledge about food for an adult (that is, those whose culinary palate seems to have frozen at age 7) and a handful that I suspect have learning disabilities and struggle with processing sequential instructions. Do I think that some of these people might be exaggerating their inability to cook to get on TV? Of course, but I can believe quite easily that these people are all below-average cooks that could benefit from instruction.
As for Tiffany, yes, she is a genuine Z-list celebrity. Seeing as she’s done reality television before, I suspect she was probably recruited for this competition (hence why she was picked early on in the schoolyard pick and won the pancake challenge– I peg her as more as someone who generally doesn’t cook rather than an oustandingly incompetent one).
I confirmed via youtube that is Tiffany from the amazing race. That is also Joey Petroni “Bob” with the long hair.
For the record, when girl-with-pink-hair said “It’s either Anne’s way or the highway,” she followed up with a cheery and forgiving, “So I guess it’s Anne’s way!”
Isn’t Worst Cooks backwards? Shouldn’t they keep the worst to make them better? I wonder; is it a setup? Are there people who can’t cook an egg? I have been cooking since I could see over the stove. I may be the last generation to know my way around a kitchen. Working Moms nurtured their offspring with convenience and takeout. Careers and $$$ were put ahead of feeding the body. It does make for some good no brainer tv tho Bobby seems to have a good sense of humor about it all which surprised me. LOL!!!! Yes, I am a foodnetwork junkie.
Who is Joey Petroni? Was he aso on the Amazing Race?
Hey dummy you can’t freebase helium it’s a noble inert gas. Annoying joke!!!
In the second episode Sarina out of complete and utter ignorance “decorates” her 3 meatballs with about 100 dollars worth of saffron. She thought it was a fun colorful herb. WHO THE HELL DECIDED TO GIVE THESE PEOPLE ACCESS TO SAFFRON?? What was disappointing was that Bobby didn’t rip her a new one, I would have. Instead Bobby politely informed her that her 3 stupid meatballs are now worth about 100 dollars because of all the saffron she dumped on top. She was just wide-eyed and like “oh…uh…ok…” What a waste FN, what a waste. FN might as well have given her a 100 dollar bill and she could have crumbled it up a lit it on fire. Sorry FN but allowing people with no knowledge or skills to completely trash expensive and exotic ingredients is ridiculous. You don’t give people on this show saffron until they know the difference between a pancake and a pizza.
Well said.
I like the pink hair. :) Though it looks a little more purple on my screen. I’ve always liked funky hair colors, though.
I am torn bewteen the fact that these worst of the worst actually exist, or that hopefully they are acting. I agree about the safron..they should be using just salt and pepper at this point. They seem to have issues with that.
I wonder if he uses detergent when he makes the dishwasher salmon?
A couple of things about this weeks show, no review?.
I loved when Bobby was almost rolling on the floor laughing at something and said “I’m going to quit all my other jobs and do this forever.”
Why do they have team challenges? Nothing happens. No get’s anything, no one loses anything. One person goes home from each team…. What am I missing?
When they win a team challenge, they choose the person who did the best job, and they are “safe” that week. They won’t get sent home. That’s what they win.
Sabrina is the funniest person in the world!! I love her!
I was so disappointed to realize Kelli was a professional and very active actress and not the at home mom she’s portrayed to be. Shows as Kelli Powers in the credits, try Kelli Kirkland Powers and voila!
Exactly!! I was watching Ghost Whisperer and Kelli plays the Nurse then I googled her and she is not what I would call a stay at home Mom! Just shows her acting chops are working when she cries every week amazed that she all a sudden can cook!!
I understand how an actor winning a reality TV competition show would be disappointing to some people but Kelli is the most amazing STAY AT HOME mother in the world. Her life is that baby boy and it shows in his character. The acting credits you see for2010 and 2011 are co-starring roles and one recurring which were all one day shoots and the shoot days were spread over months. The 2010 credits were all shot before the baby was born with the exception of The Event. So for one day out of a month she wasn’t at home with the baby in 2011. The most time she spent away from the baby was while shooting this show. She was also a terrible cook. Not anymore but the only thing that she made was already cooked reheated meals from the grocery store. Salt was always her enemy. So with this said Kelli IS a stay at home mom with small acting gigs peppered in here and there but trust me, she wasn’t acting about not knowing how to cook.
I always thought Bobby Flay was a little full of himself but after watching this season of Worst Cooks in America I like him and have tossed Ann’s cook book. She was so cocky, nasty and just down right witchy that I will never have anything to do with her again.
Get rid of Anne Burrell. She is the so rude and bitchy. I will not watch another show with her again. And what is up with her hair! I am sure Food Network can come up with something better than this person!!
I used to really like this show, until this season, which ended with an obviously fixed winner. Vinnie clearly had made the better meal….. The table favorite yellowtail app, the perfectly cooked squab, and ambitious and very well executed (except one) creme brulee. All against under cooked sweet potato, over cooked steak, and black over cooked apples in the tart. Seriously?!?! How in the hell did Kelli win?!?! It is becoming clear that this is Anne Burrell’s show, and the person representing her in the end is going to win, no matter how poorly executed the food is. Very disappointing.
And she is really an actress, not a stay at home mom. What a crock!
This website sucks.
Somebody should really tell Anne Burrell that “Super Saiyan” is not a hairdo!!!!