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10 Hilariously Ironic Food Network Search Results
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General: Food Network »
10 Hilariously Ironic Food Network Search Results
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FoodNetwork.com has a search function built into its website. It’s notoriously awful and difficult to use, and it hardly ever brings up the results you’re searching for. Luckily, the bright side is it brings up some hilarious (and often ironic) results when you search for certain words. Here are the top 10 funniest search results we pulled up:
(Thanks for the idea, Albert!)
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We are not affiliated with the Food Network, or any of their hosts, in any way. This is a satire, humor, and parody website.
(c) 2012 Food Network Humor - All Rights Reserved
58 Responses
How could Sandra Lee not come up in any or all of them?
Whereas I’m surprised that Guy Ferry didn’t pop up under the search results for “desperate”.
I tried searching for “douche bag” and thought for sure I’d see Guy’s face come up. No such luck.
Try using jackass. A recipe actually comes up. 1 guess as to who’s it is.
Search just “douche” and see if Gay Fairy comes through.
@Cowpoke: I typed in “lush” into the search engine and, lo and behold, up popped a drinky from Aunt Sandy!
Lush Lagoon. It figures. And I feel better -thanks.
Wow, most of these searches turn up surprisingly accurate results! Love how the results for “nasty” are exclusively Daisy Martinez recipes, and the results for “desperate” are perfect!
The one for crap made me laugh but actually some of those recipes sound good, particularly the Mario Batali and Anne Burrel ones…
“Satan” brings up Cupcake Wars…
Nope…those are results for ‘Stan’
I saw that after I posted. I’m just going to make believe it’s still satan because that show is hell.
Speaking of cupcake wars….
Cupcake wars is on when the cable provider says that other shows are scheduled…. Frequently.
“Failure” made me laugh out loud even though I like Irvine.
The only reson that failure shows up Robert Irvine because he helps people that FAIL in the restaurant business.
I searched “good vanilla”, and surprisingly, the first 2 entries were NOT recipes from Ina Garten.
For ‘freak’ I noticed that it matches ‘fr’ in ‘fruit’ and ‘french’ and ‘eak’ in ‘steak’. Looks like a spell checker gone terribly wrong.
Leave it to the professionals, guys — that’s what Google Custom Search is for.
Yay Jilian, you’ve just caused a cluster-fuck headache for FN.
How long do you think it’ll be until they’ve ripped down the website to “reconfigure” the search capability? They might not, actually, it’s a little too much work.
Jillian, keep it coming. I belly laugh almost daily reading your site!
The “nasty” search that came up with Daisy Martinez would probably show up if you typed “redundant” – chicken and rice, corn and rice, ham and rice. Ham and rice: 15 minute cook time, intermediate level? It just makes no sense. 0 stars to the FN web people.
whore?
http://www.foodnetwork.com/search/delegate.do?fnSearchString=whore&fnSearchType=site
Not surprising. “puttanesca” translates to something along the lines of “whore style”. Maybe because it’s quick, cheap and easy?
No, it’s because that’s what prostitutes (the puttanesca) served themselves at their business. They could make it earlier and have it later.
Actually you’re both right. And also, the aroma of the sauce cooking would lure the men from the street into the brothels as well and while they were waiting their turn, the women would feed them the spaghetti.
It was cheap,quick and easy to make and maybe that’s where that expression came from.
This is why Bitchin’ Kitchen is awesome (it totally covered this topic). Puttanesca = “pasta the why a whore would make it”. In turn of the century Italy, whores were only allowed (by the government!) to go to the market certain days of the month, so they had buy ingredients that wouldn’t perish — like anchovies, capers – etc. Thus pasta puttanesca was born and served many a customer…
That’s not quite right. Puttanesca = “whore” or “whore-like.” Pasta alla puttanesca = “pasta of the whore.”
That was a show from Bitchin’ Kitchen… hence the quotations.
Ugh, I should really drink coffee before I try to use the intermaweb…
That was from Bitchin’ Kitchen and the quote actually is “pasta the way a whore would make it”.
Thank you for making my day just a little bit better. This was very funny.
Hey man, leave Batali out of this (the rest of the losers can stay, though).
Christ…the 40 garlic clove chicken I actually cooked. People ate it AND actually liked it for some damn reason.
Agreed. Despite being inedible sounding, Nigella’s 40 clove of garlic chicken is quite good.
Too funny!! FN’s epic fails are our gain! :)
I put in “hack” as in no-talent hack, fully expecting Rachael Ray’s name to pop up. Search for “hack” and you get Tyler Florence.
[...] Original post by Jillian Madison [...]
I tried “breasts” and was hoping to see Giada come up, but instead was Mr. Bitch Tits Bobby Flay.
http://www.foodnetwork.com/search/delegate.do?fnSearchString=breasts&fnSearchType=site
I searched “wannabe” and got one result, Jeffrey Vaden, ’nuff said…
I also searched “garbage bowl”. The first seven recipes are Rachael Ray’s, and the ninth is a “Thirty Minute Meal Set List”. Thanks Jillian, I think you’ve come up with a whole new game for Food Network followers! What search term can the next viewer come up with???
Try typing in “jackass”….surprise, surprise.
My, my, my. Guy Fieri. Who knew? I’m sure FN now has all the $5.00 an hour interns scurrying around trying to fix the search function (that is, if they are not too busy deleting recipe ratings that are less than 5 stars).
Hahah oh nooo not Anne! I love her recipes. But when I saw Irvine under “failure” I had to laugh.
lulz will be ensured
http://www.foodnetwork.com/search/delegate.do?fnSearchString=dick&fnSearchType=site
You get 2 Ina Garten recipes AND one courtesy of Matthew McConaughey if you search for “gay”
I am so not surprised at Daisy Martinez’s results. I tried watching her show and I’m not sure what’s “Mexican” about most of the things she cooks. Most of it has been so watered down from the originals that it’s unrecognizable or it’s not authentic *at all*.
My Mexican grandmother is rolling over in her grave at her mole. And she continues rolling at her Arroz con Pollo.
Where does Food Network GET these people?
Saw her once in person she’s pretty nasty.
Anybody tried “shitheel” yet?
I typed in putz and this is what I got…
http://www.foodnetwork.com/search/delegate.do?fnSearchString=putz&fnSearchType=site
Clown brings up Aunt Sandy.
http://www.foodnetwork.com/search/delegate.do?fnSearchString=Clown&fnSearchType=site
I spit out my drink laughing when I typed in “retard” and Rachel Ray came up: http://www.foodnetwork.com/search/delegate.do?fnSearchString=retard&fnSearchType=site
Love the results for ‘desperate’ and ‘failure’ that bring up the photo of Irvine posing and flexing his muscles.
Chicken with 40 garlic cloves sounds tasty, but it might just be I’m a garlic lover
Remember when new things were posted in this site?
I’m sure if you type “skank” not only will Daisy Martinez show up, but also Paula Deen, Aunt Sandy and Rachael.
Searched “Drunk” and got nothing on Sandra Lee. Simultaneously, I searched up “Cunt” and a rice pudding russipie came up.
“Shit” got me 323 results…just sayin
I had to laugh at Irvine being listed as a “failure” and
“desperate”, I genuinely like the guy but I have to agree that faking credentials to get a show is “desperate”.
I’m surprised that one woman Penny from maybe a season ago of next food network stars didn’t come up under desperate
Just searched “Liar” and all three results were from Melissa d’Arabian.