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Food Network Glamour Shots
Posted by Jillian Madison

Glamour Shots are hilarious on their own, but when Food Network personalities are thrown into the mix, THEY’RE EVEN BETTER! Here’s what we imagine some of their Glamour Shots would have looked like.

And might I add, it’s even more amusing that Claire Robinson’s and Aida Mollenkamp’s don’t even look photoshopped. Enjoy!

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INA GARTEN

paula deen glamour shot food network humor fake

PAULA DEEN

paula deen glamour shot food network humor fake

CLAIRE ROBINSON

claire robinson glamour shot food network humor fake

AIDA MOLLENKAMP

aida mollenkamp glamour shot food network humor fake

ANNE BURRELL

anne burrell glamour shot food network humor fake

GIADA

giada glamour shot food network humor fake

SANDRA LEE (SHE WENT TWICE)

sandra lee glamour shot food network humor fake



Other posts on Food Network Humor:

---Food Network’s Corny Cookie Swap Video
---Food Network YO MAMA Jokes
---South Park Finale Will Feature Food Network Chefs
---South Park Versions Of Food Network Chefs (Part 2)
---The Celebrity Chef Window At Barneys In NYC

    106 Responses

  1. Silvio says:

    You Madison girls have quite the imagination.
    I lost it with the Giada pic.That is priceless.

  2. Aimee says:

    Ina looks like Bob Ross, and Giada just looks plain scary.

  3. govtdrone says:

    Oh jeez–I totally forgot about Glamour Shots. I love how they always had them holding onto their lapels. Love the big hair! Great job.

    • Ferd Berfle says:

      Really, why the lapels? I can’t remember the last time I clutched my lapels, no matter how glamourous I may have been feeling.

      • Nikki says:

        I think it’s supposed to say “I really want to reveal my tits right now but I’m wayyyyyyyy too classy, as I can afford glamor shots”

      • Emily says:

        It says: I want to reveal my tits and I am close to showing you a sneak peak, but this wonderful photographer at Glamour Shots in the mall convinced me to step back from the brink of slut. I call this “almost slutty.” You know if Giada had done those Glamour Shots, she would have been furious that the photographer wouldn’t let her show some boobage.

  4. 86thebling says:

    Ina DOES look like Bob Ross, and Paula Deen looks like the tractor trailor load of butter she’s eaten her whole life, has congealed in her face! Sharpay’s laugh at how loose her skin is.

  5. Jill (not Jillian) says:

    OMG! Makes you realize that a good hairdo makes a big difference.

  6. 86thebling says:

    Giada looks like Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz, had she stayed in Munchkinland and opened a whore house!

  7. Amber says:

    Giada cracks my shit up.

  8. NJchicaa says:

    One of the best FNH posts I’ve seen!

  9. Lana says:

    Ok, so Claire’s glamour shot doesn’t EVEN look photoshopped! Jill’s skills? Or is it *really* a pic of Claire? We may never know ….
    :-D

  10. old unkajoe says:

    Very disturbing way to start the day.

  11. crystal says:

    Completely made my morning. Thanks!

  12. Nancy T says:

    Ina looks like she should have been in St. Elmo’s Fire!!! I don’t know what to say about Giada.

    Total riot :–)

  13. LaLa says:

    I love it! Sadly, my Glamour Shot looks a little like Ina’s (same hair and pose!!!)…

    They are all geat… except Claire… which just proves that she wears way too much make-up on her show!

  14. emptysky1969 says:

    The paula deen one looks like Aunt Sandy in 20 years!

    • potty mouth princess says:

      Nah, it looks like Pawler would look now without money. No face lift and a white trash dye job.

      Totally nailed it, ladies. :D

  15. Robert says:

    I’ve never wanted Giada more.

  16. ADITL1979 says:

    Is it sad that Claire and Aida’s pics actually DON’T look like glamour pics?

  17. Ludwig says:

    Awww, I was a little sad when I realized Bob Tuschman wasn’t thrown into the mix.

    • laura says:

      Ah, good one. I was actually wondering where Guy Ferry’s picture might be. I’m guessing they could not find one of him with that big mouth closed. I’m surprised they even found one of Pauler.

  18. pollyprissypants says:

    Glad my office is currently empty because these made me squeal with delight. Paula looks rode hard and thrown away wet. Giada made me shudder. This site just keeps getting better and better, thanks Jillian and co!

  19. Kristen J. says:

    hahahahahha@Giada!

    Sandy would go twice, wouldn’t she.

  20. Nicky says:

    These are great! Anne looks like a mime especially with the gloves. Sandy is priceless. I am sure she has photos just like those in her family albums somewhere!

  21. annie says:

    Simply AMAZING! LOL!!

  22. MsFoodie says:

    LOL. Oh the big hair, love it! I took my mom for her birthday years ago, apparently mine ended up looking like ALexis from Dynasty. If anyone remembers that show…LOL

  23. J says:

    This is THE best site. All of you make me laugh. Thanks.

  24. Sandra-not Lee says:

    Freakin’ awesome! It’s an improvement for Anne.

  25. Panna Cotta says:

    Am I glad I don’t remember the eighties.

  26. Minx says:

    LMAO at Giada.

  27. BOO says:

    Anne looks like Tanya Tucker! Dellllllllta…Rose……

  28. ADITL1979 says:

    So…where are the guys?

  29. Diane says:

    Too funny!! Anne Burrell’s and Giada’s had me rolling!!

  30. Di says:

    Lol to all!
    Giada has Popeye’s forearms.
    Anne is so cute – and still has big hair.

  31. The fringe trimmed jackets complement Sandra perfectly.

    I have to admit that I had Glamour Shots done, too. I think it might have been a requirement for teenage girls in NJ.

  32. Bisky says:

    Anne actually looks better. Just another reason to get rid of her stupid hairdo.

  33. Jenn says:

    Ida, Claire and Ina are fabulous!!!

  34. Nathan says:

    LOL at Paula’s.

  35. Mac says:

    Nightmares. Gonna have nightmares.

  36. I pity the food says:

    Well done, Jillian…well done. It reminds me of that Yearbook Yourself…thing. Guy Ferry’s senior pic, I can just picture it now…

    The Snadra pics are just about perfect. She looks like a haggard Barabara Mandrell, or something. And Pawler kinda looks like a drag queen I know. Hmm…

  37. Di says:

    Aunt Sandy’s “denim & diamonds” show is on today – how appropriate!

  38. mike says:

    I think one of these lovely ladies might be Napoleon Dynamite’s fake girlfriend.

  39. Stephy says:

    I scrolled down too fast, hiding Paula’s name, and for some reason I thought it was Sandra Lee. I love how I looked at her and thought “She looks OLD. How much does she fucking drink?!” I had to laugh at myself after I realized it was Paula. Then I laughed even harder for having had that reaction.

    • Skiperdee says:

      And I am cracking up reading your post. I have tears running down my face, I’m laughing so hard. Your instant, first reaction was priceless.

  40. stoup says:

    I have never laughed so hard in my entire life! I’m literally wiping tears from my face as I type this. These are HILARIOUS!

    Ina/St. Elmo’s Fire and Giada/Popeye’s Arms were “off the HOOK”!

    BEST.WEBSITE.EVER.

  41. stoup says:

    Giada’s “poof” is going to give me nightmares! And those arms…they want to “pump,you UP!”

  42. anjarew says:

    Giada looks like a creature out of a science fiction flick.

  43. DerekLutz says:

    How did Rachael Ray avoid your malevolence?

    • Lizzy says:

      I was wondering the same thing!

      And also Alex G-can’t-spell-last name, who would have been PERFECT for Glamour Shots.

    • stoup says:

      Yes, Jillian…will you please make a “Glamour Shots, Part Deux” and include RayRay, Melissa D’Arabian, one with the new fangled Pauler and her orange skin, fakey-fake blue contacts and ultra white veneers? How about a guys’ version including Booby, Fee-etti, Tyler, Alton, Emeril, Duff, and the Deen bahruthers? Can’t wait!!

  44. Bonzy22 says:

    omg rolling

  45. lone_shark says:

    Giada looks like Zippy the Pinhead.

  46. Peaches says:

    Sure these aren’t cast photos from a “Grease” or “West Side Story” (or both) revival?

  47. Dippydog says:

    To me at least, Giada looks a little like Joan Crawford: See
    http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_Rs53-MPsJaI/R2zn7myYuuI/AAAAAAAAET4/z9zUab8RxiU/s400/1astarjoan_crawford2.jpg
    for comparison. It’s late and that’s the best image I could find.

  48. DippyDog says:

    To me, Giada looks like Joan Crawford, as seen here:
    http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_Rs53-MPsJaI/R2zn7myYuuI/AAAAAAAAET4/z9zUab8RxiU/s400/1astarjoan_crawford2.jpg
    Wish I could find a better image, but it’s late and I don’t have time to search very long.

  49. Sharon says:

    I thought Ina looked a little like Rizzo from Grease. Just sayin’

    • I pity the food says:

      “A hickey from Kenickie [or Jeffrey] is like a Hallmark card…”

      Wait, what am I saying? A hickey from Jeffrey would NEVER HAPPEN. Maybe to T.R. or Miguel, though….

  50. Scruffy says:

    Ina’s never looked so good before…

  51. Lisa says:

    Oh my. This is the funniest thing I’ve seen in a long time. CANT STOP LAUGHING! :)

  52. kross says:

    Can I just say that Anne looks much better here than she does in real life but I almost didn’t recognize her without the orange skin!

  53. chicken feets says:

    The Giada pic was the best, but the Sandra Lee ones almost made me fall off my friggin chair. You girls are too funny. This is why I love this place!

  54. AshleyWest says:

    Looks like the Young and Restless circa 1983. Love it

  55. Food Fan says:

    These are so much fun. Now I really want to give old Ina a makeover. She has all those gays I surprised none of them have grabbed her by the shent and given her one.

  56. PeteC94 says:

    Oh wow, the Ina picture is too sexy for words <3.

    Also, is it just me or does Anne Burrell's pic look like Ellie Mae Clampett?

  57. carlos says:

    i have lost all respect for Claire
    why would you ditch your wedding ring to boost ratings? thats sad…she used to be cute/kinda watchable but now she is a slutty sellout waiting for some random food fvck

  58. Kerry Rasch says:

    The women ragging on Giada must be ugly or jealous or have low self esteem to be ripping on a woman who dresses quite average compared to most slutty dressers. If anyone is “slutty” itd have to be Rachel Ray. I notice theres no “glam shot” of the queen. But yes Giada’s quite scary lookin in the pic.

  59. JackEughlayte says:

    The horror.

    The horror.

  60. shorty2dforte says:

    Was totally trying to figure out which guy Ina was for like ten minutes at first, and then I realized it was her…… scary….

  61. Claro says:

    OMGGG THE SANDRA LEE PICS ARE INSANE. they make her look even older than she already does! hahahaha, i can’t stop laughing.

  62. candi cane says:

    I thought the one of Ina was a real Glamour Shot of her from back in the day !

  63. Zoltar says:

    Good bloody LORD, that Ina picture is going to give me nightmares.

  64. Your Name says:

    Anne Burrell’s hair is already half-way to glamour-shot hair.

  65. wallycatmom says:

    here is my take on anne burrell’s – the pic is from her small town days-before she moved to the city to become a chef.oh, it was taken on her birthday!! keep up the good work food network humor, love you guys!

  66. The Pontificator says:

    These photos make me uncomfortable.

  67. SLE says:

    EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!

  68. J-Man says:

    Most of them look like they’re about to release a country music album.

  69. DonDefore says:

    The second photo is horrifying.

  70. Derek says:

    Why does Pauler look like a greasy trucker???

  71. MoonStarr says:

    All of their hair looks….crunchy…..

    Hilarious.

    Please, pleeeeese Glamour Shot Rachel Ray…..

  72. Your Name says:

    Terrible. Please, get off the internet!

  73. Hakuna Fritatta says:

    When did lapel grabbing become sex-ay?

  74. BlingDangie says:

    Spit take on seeing Giada. How perfect!

  75. Paige says:

    You completely made my day!!

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