Sandra Lee »

The Drunken Stages Of Sandra Lee
Posted by Jillian Madison

    54 Responses

  1. emptysky1969 says:

    The angry one is the best. Did she run out of vodka or worse, did someone drink her vodka?

  2. Puddin says:

    My favorite is Sandrunk!

  3. Deaner says:

    Oh lord, I’m dyin’ over here…

    I suspect her staff gets the “sloshed” look five or six times a day. I get the distinct feeling Aunt Sandy is anything but peaches and cream when the camera ain’t rollin’…

    • BCA says:

      Unless you mean peach bellinis and creme de menthe, i’d have to agree.

      • Deaner says:

        Now I’m wondering what Aunt Sandy would use to make a Semi-Homemade peach bellini?

        I’m thinking a 4-pack of peach-flavored wine coolers and a can of fruit cocktail (in heavy syrup) would figure prominently in the mix…

  4. VirgoPixie says:

    This would make an awesome shirt. And in the back you could put her as one of those People of Walmart shoppers.

  5. Daria says:

    This is grrrrreat! I’m really looking forward to your tablescape post.

  6. Di says:

    I like Sandrunk best – that show where she could barely gag down that lemonade+cream. LOL no amount of vodka could make that concoction go down easily.

  7. Akm says:

    Aunt Sandy has her own gay guy now! Anyone seen today’s episode “Discount dinner”?

    • Jillian says:

      oh yes! watching it right now, she is so funny whenever she has guests on. It’s always super awkward and she is clearly the euphoric drunk in this episode.

      • emptysky1969 says:

        do we know anything about this guy? They must be BDB (best drinking buddies) since they mentioned an “all you can drink” for $12!

        It is slightly easier to watch her with a guest, I must say.

  8. Eric says:

    Faaaaan-tastic. I wish this was a poster, I’d totally buy it…a great gift for family & friends!

  9. Robin says:

    I wonder what look she gave Matilda Cuomo when she publicly dissed her “lasagna”.

    • Sandra-not Lee says:

      Definitely the “angry” face. LOL

    • Skats says:

      Pfff. That lasagna looked really sad. I tried some vodka tomato cream sauce in a jar the other day for only $2.50. Perhaps Sandy’s budget should upgrade to that…may be more her ‘style’.

      • April says:

        Wow….jarred spaghetti sauce is too high dollar for Aunty? And vinegar?

        The people who tried out that recipe got hazardous duty pay, I hope.

  10. atdleft says:

    Ah, blasted and smashed! I remember those episodes… They were EPIC (LOL)! Still, I have to say loopy is my personal fave. Maybe it’s just b/c I’m so loopy when I’m drunk, but it’s nonstop laughter in this house when Aunt Sandy makes absolutely no sense as she’s smiling weirdly, sounding completely incoherent, and “cookin’” total garbage. :-D

  11. atdleft says:

    I’m about to watch Aunt Sandy on “Semi Edible Sh*t”… Wish me luck!

  12. chicken feets says:

    I like the incoherent one… she looks like she’s saying, “I want to suck your dick, baybee.”

    • Mr. Very Wellhung says:

      She is thinking that, on the inside,but first you’ll have to eat my angel hair muffin.I love her perky firm breasts and ass.

  13. oh_come_on says:

    Sloshed, and possessed!

  14. BOO says:

    Dam, the shot (pun intended) of her ‘angry’ looks like a screen shot (doubles!) of her for “WomenInPrison.”

  15. Sandra Lee's Liver says:

    Sandy is Food Network’s version of “Otis” from the Andy Griffith Show.

    • Bill G. says:

      Unbelievable. If you can’t do your job unless you’ve got a 5-cocktail buzz on, maybe it’s time to find a different calling in life. But maybe she’s carrying too much debt to do that, so she’s planning to crawl into the box when the Food Network gig runs out (i.e. gets too old to pass off the MILF look).

  16. REPR11.12.65 says:

    I wish Sloshed said “Oooh grrl!”

  17. Tipsy looks like Sandra farted. She’s saying, Yeah, I farted…what are you gonna do about it? Then, she’ll knock back more vodka.

  18. fxtech says:

    My favorite is “Hammered”. I have the feeling that’s the same look she has just before she’s about to negotiate, service and sign a new contract.

  19. cowpoke says:

    The faces are hilarious but has anyone noticed that the shape of her head is actually different in each photo? How many plastic surgeons does this idiot have and – were they drunk too when they worked on her face?

  20. Chris says:

    Take a close look at the “Angry” pic.. It looks like her face is in the early stages of a Lunar eclipse….

  21. Paige says:

    Angry is the best!

  22. Theniceliz says:


  23. boke1 says:

    Nice Amber Frey hairdo in the Talkative shot.

  24. coffee-n-toast says:

    I LOVE the angry face. You can almost hear her thinking, “Fuck you, bitches. I INVENTED the Tablescape.”

  25. J-Man says:

    “Sloshed” = “Spits or Swallows?”

  26. Bravo Ladies! F***ing bravo!!! This was the best laugh I’ve had this week! I should print the “Stages” out and use it as a friggen dart board! Keep up the good work!

  27. ron says:

    What…no “cumshot” face? I guess the programming exec she sucked off to get her shit show on the air decided to keep it for himself!

  28. Gnome says:

    I think she is Kathy Griffin’s demented sister.

  29. Dottie says:

    Aunt Skank is always good for a laugh.

  30. sneak says:

    It feels like all the posts lately are reposts of the same jokes over and over.

    • Tartsonawire says:

      See the note at the top of each FNH page:

      “NOTE: FNH is on hiatus for a few months and will feature reposts and limited new material.”

  31. Mr. Very Wellhung says:

    I like several feelin it, flirty, euphoric, incoherent, confused and trashed.Looks like she just took some cock,standing up, doggy style and she just had the big O. OMG I’m cuming! Her Pecan Sandies are so fucking hot! Wish she’d dress up like a cheerleader for Halloween.

  32. kitty galore says:

    Mr. very well hung (i doubt it) you are a pig.And if all the others only have neg comments then don’t watch Sandra–I think she’ s a lot better than some of the others. Like Guy and Ann====twins?

Post your comments

We are not affiliated with the Food Network, or any of their hosts, in any way. This is a satire, humor, and parody website.
(c) 2014 Food Network Humor - All Rights Reserved