About FNH
Cook with them, laugh with us!
Welcome to the Food Network Humor website! We’re glad you found us!
This site launched in January 2009 as a place for us to satirize and parody the Food Network hosts and shows. Let’s face it: sometimes, the Food Network chefs need to be brought back down to Earth. Next Food Network Star’s blatant favoritism? Sandra Lee’s Kwanzaa cake? Ina Garten’s endless circle of gay-only friends? Giada’s hideous over-enunciations of every Italian word? We’ve got it covered.
If you’d like to become a member of FNH, you can do so for free by clicking the “Register” link in the black bar at the very top of your page. You can then upload photos, keep track of your comments, fill out a bio, and read about other members.
Tips? Thoughts? Something you think we should cover? Drop us an email. We would love to hear from you.
[Food Network Humor is part of the Pophangover network, created and written by sisters Jillian and Michelle Madison. We are not affiliated with the Food Network in any way. We're not owned by a big media conglomerate, nor are we being paid by anyone to write or maintain these website. Thanks for reading, and we look forward to hearing from all of you.]
1 Trackback(s)
- Aug 20, 2010: 50 BuddyPress Designs that will Blow Your Mind | BuddyBoss
THIS WEEK: Ina Garten's "beginner" recipes, new Food Network shows starting in September, thumbing through an issue of Semi-Homemade magazine, Rachael Ray's daytime talk show, Aarti's "accountability group", Claire Robinson on Big Daddy's House, another sensual reading of Alex Guarnaschelli's tweets, sink or swim voicemail, and much more.
Love it! So happy I found this website! Please keep it up. I am a food network addict, but I love to laugh at all of those yahoos! :)
My new favorite site!
Love the site
Glad to have you! I’m loving what I am seeing so far!
Finally a site that calls it like it is. You know many FN stars are totally legit, but some others have no right being on TV.
I think you should target FN stars that think they can sell you anything with their names on it, such as cookboks, foodstuffs, utensils because most of it is all dollar store crap.Of course a few exceptions.Not many though.
Great website! Any Food Network snark isn’t complete without a little smattering of Fieri-bashing. You just gotta bring the troll on board here!
I’m going to be spending a lot of time on here. I can see it now. I’m glad this place exists, though. The Food Network has become a farce.
hey Ladies,
great site. I too think FN people need to be parodied and skewered.
Just how far will you let us go in the skewering process ?
I used to follow FN Addict, but that dude is on FN payroll and is brown nosing for a gig, so ladies I hope you can keep it real.
Hey about a skewering of the Ass of Cakes crew ? Plenty of material there.
Eric,
We’re not in bed with Food Network. We don’t want to work for Food Network. We don’t care if we ever meet the Food Network hosts. Translation: we will always keep it real.
We’re working on some Ace Of Cakes stuff, stay tuned! And thanks reading, everybody!
Just read through all the archives (after catching wind of your site on Food Network Addict). Great job you’re doing!
I hope you know, I gotta share the Corn Porn post on my blog — it’s priceless. And, of course, ensure I do a good shoutout for your great site.
I gotta say that I really love your wittiness. I am a big FN fan and enjoy nearly all of the FN stars sans Sandra. And I think people can be too harsh sometimes. But you do it in such a fun and entertaining way that I don’t care! Hope you keep it up!
Interesting how you say you “don’t want to work for Food Network,” yet this page originally said: “We are not affiliated with the Food Network… although that’d we great if we were! Bob Tuschman: call us!” Talk about brown nosing.
“Tina”,
While we are honored and flattered that you have memorized every word of every version of our website, we urge you to look up the word SARCASM in the dictionary. They have them online now, if you don’t have one of your own.
Everyone else, thank you for taking the time to write. Your comments and feedback are very important to us!
Jacob Strauss probably sending his minions over to see what you girls are doing. I think he heard you were doing a much better job with your blog.
Expect to see MAry Alice from Ass of Cakes come and admonish you as well.
I just wanted to say, I know your website is new and everything, but it is already one of my favorites of all time. You guys are really witty and clever and get your point across in really creative ways. I hope your site takes off as more people learn about it, because it’s great!
I agree, “Tina” – look up sarcasm in the dictionary!
-Jenna
Love this site!! It’s my new favorite. I watch more Food Network than should be allowed by law, but a lot of times it is purely so I can mock the hosts. The only one I have a special place in my heart for is Alton Brown – the rest of them are just “meh.”
Y’all should do more on the Barefoot Contessa. I swear that woman is heavily medicated for every show.
WOW. this website is amazing! I watch the food network all the time, and all of your jokes are perfect. When I watch it, I make jokes too and then I come on your site and see that we were thinking the same thing about a specific moment. Keep it up!
wow, I am a food network junkie and am totally loyal to all my favorite chefs, but visiting this website has me cracking up. I was slightly offended at first then realized everything you’re saying is true haha. I think I may have to visit this site more often!
The funny thing is how I found your site. I was honestly looking for Giada’s nail polish color. You had a whole article making fun of her FAQs…too funny! It sure did answer my inquiry though, OPIs Bubble Bath :-) Thanks!
Amber:
That is EXACTLY how I found this site as well – thanks to your post! Thank you for posting the color! I actually really like all of the manicures on FN (maybe not Sandra Lee). Keep up the fun work ladies!
This site saved me from death by boredom. I’m writing an academic paper on the Food Network, and this site is going in there (if that’s OK with you all, of course).
It would be great to give some attention to Iron Chef America. It seems to have endless potential for satire.
Hey, why stop at the on air “talent?” Tuschman and Medusa deserve their share of ridicule too!
I stumbled upon this website yesterday when I was trying to find a forum dedicated to how bad Giada sucks. I can’t stand this bossy, over enunciating, piranha mouthed “chef” and finally found a website whose owners don’t kiss her skinny-fat ass. If I have to see her saggy, 36 double long “chicken cutlets” on display one more time I am going to hurl. Thanks ladies. Good to know I am not the only one on earth not feeling the love for this particular Food Network hack.
And I thought Jacob was funny?….This site is SO necessary! I’m a huge Foodie along with many others here, however, FN has completly lost touch with reality (if I hear Aunt Sandy talk about another gorgeous Tablescape, I’ll probably vomit on the TV). Thank you for the balance…Keep it coming.
I just found your web site and I LOVE IT. I read most of Ina Garten’s info and I couldn’t stop laughing. There is one important thing you should know about her. She says one word at least 12 times in each episode. It’s not “faahhhbulous” or “perfect”. Believe it or not, it’s “really”. One evening I took a shot of vodka for each time she said it and I was drunk as a skunk before the show was over.
This site makes me believe in the human race. There is hope for us all. I thought I was alone.
I WANT TO SEE MORE JEFFREY GARTEN!!! That spoiled bitch gets everything!
Thanks for the laughs. I’m comforted to know there are SO many people out there who honestly love the Food Network and make fun of what everyone is doing. From Gina’s and Pat’s crappy knife skills (ever notice that?) to that dousche of a sidekick Noah on Ask Aida…
Keep it coming!
I really love the facebook feed. It totally hit the nail on the head.
I found this site about a week ago and it ROCKS!! The updates and info are crazy funny! I’m hooked!!!
I HAVE NEVER LAUGHED SO HARD IN MY LIFE!!!! FNH is my go-to site everyday now when I need a good laugh. I was starting to hate Food Network and only ever watch it for Good Eats and anything Alton Brown. Truly an entertaining site!! Thanks!
Ask Aida hits are so funny, i hate that show sooo much. Sandra Lee is a hack, I’m glad you ream on her so terribly! I stumbled upon you guys, big thumbs up! Continue to bring those egos back to earth that the FN stars all seem to have
So Funny!!! I laughed so hard when I realized Ina Garten actually COULD use “BAD vanilla”.
this is basically the most amazing website ever. you have materialized my every thought and i freaking love it.
so glad i found you guys.
You have turned my rage at FOOD NETWORK into helpless laughter!
KUDOS!!
This site is hysterical!! I am a food network junkie, thanks for making me laugh!!!
Hey,
Whatever happened to Quick Fix Meals with anorexic Robin Miller? This is a very funny website. I laughed so hard I was choking.
I am so happy I found this website! It is hilarious! I love watching Food Network and do agree with a lot of things here! SO SO FUNNY! Keep up the awesome work!
Even though we (the food network employees) love some of our hosts, we love this site
If the Food Network loves this site so much, they would have granted it basic email interviews with the Next Food Network Star contestants. Whatever!
Anyway, I’ve been reading this site for a few months now and wanted to say, it is my new favorite. I love the Food Network, and you guys clearly do too – but the humor and snark here is just so funny and well done, I can’t get enough.
Please keep it up, whoever is writing this. Somebody should give YOU a show on the Food Network.
This site is great. I have a reason to watch again.
Booby Flay is a tool. Guy Fieri’s Triple D (Dyspepsia,Dysentery and Diarrhea)is about greasy spoons. Alton Brown looks like the guy off the 80′video. She blinded Me with Science..Science!Sandra Leas tablescapes look like something she worked on in art therapy during rehab.Paula Deens sons will probably show up on Ina Gartens
show.The Next Food Network Star is like being the smartest kid with downs syndrome. My brother is a chef and even he says “Look,cooking isnt rocket surgery.
I laughed so hard I cried when I stumbled on to this site. Keep it up! You definately won’t run out of material… Ina’s annoying laugh at EVERYTHING (why????? it’s annoying), Sandra’s hideous tablescapes (it’s called AA, hunny), Rachael is starting to sound like a dude… I can’t wait to tune in to this awesome site. So much to read about!
As a FN fan and graphic designer, I was ecstatic to stumble upon your site. The posts are hilarious because they’re SO true, and whoever photoshop’s the video stills is a genius! Thank you for posting what I’ve been thinking in my head this whole time!
anyone like Marc Summers better when he was hosting double-dare?
I would love to see more humor about Kerry Vincent and Alex Guarnaschelli. These two broads are the most nick-picking, closed minded, apathetic people I have ever seen. I know that they are chosen to judge contestants, but when their judging becomes their personal way to release their short-comings, then FN, should fire them. I know that I’m not the only person who feels this way.
So very glad I found this site! I watch food network more than I’d like to admit but find so many of the hosts unbearably funny/annoying. Good job girls! Keep on keepin on!
Your bio information in Paula Deen was so funny I couldn’t stop laughing. I actually got abdominal cramps! Awsome site… keep it up. I’ll be back to see more!
Oh Happy Day! What a great site this is. I think I’ve caught up with all of the postings and now can look forward to reading more from kindred souls. It’s reassuring that the majority of us seem to be like-minded about most of the FN celebrities. I am happy to see that we mostly are protective of Alton Brown. He is so entertaining and amusing and intelligent and informative. And I find myself being protective of the Dragon Lady, Kerry Vincent. I think she is sharp and bright and a good actress. She plays the part of “bad guy” very well. Her birthday cake episode of Challenge touched my tough old heart. I’ll always remember Kerry in her beautiful pink jacket.
Is Mrs. Neeley always in heat?
My mom was just flipping through the channels here, and she came across a cooking show on NBC called “The Chopping Block”. At first, I thought it was a knock-off of “Chopped”, but its premise seems different, utilizing teams instead of three individual competitors. I didn’t see much of it myself, but has anyone else seen this show?
The sneak peeks of Episode 3 show one of the men in tears, but not Debbie. That isn’t a good sign. I love Michael but I don’t think he could sustain a show or that the viewers (including me) could take too much of him. Jeffrey is #1, Janika is too good. And so far she hasn’t cooked anything I like, if that matters. The rest are also rans.
Thanks so much for this site! It is hysterical. I thought I was the only one who loves watching the Food Network while also secretly hating it and criticizing everyone and everything that I take time out of my day to watch. From Guy’s over-the-top Sammy Hagar routine, to Ina’s snobby, elitist dinner parties, to Giada’s over pronunciation and mozzarella smile, to Bobby Flay’s Napolean complex I love to hate the Food Network. Thanks again … this is brilliant:-)
Oh my GOD am I in love with this blog! I stumbled on it only yesterday and ended up reading every entry. You guys sure have the russssipie to making me laugh.
Great site… actually FUNNY.
UH….gotta go…. I need to spend the rest of the day working on my TABLE SCAPE! My kids and husband will be sooooo dissapointed if it is not over-the -top-stupid looking…. all the while I will be partaking of large quantities of fru-fru cocktails.
p.s.– I hate cooking with my kids.
The minute I hear Sandra Lee’s voice all I can smell is artificial vanilla. I’m with Ina on that, gotta have the real stuff. Sandra, what a wimp! I realize why she has the Tablescapes, they are to hide her dreadful out-of-the-box food. Can you imagine trying to find your food in all of that tacky trash on the table? Of course if she baked something it would have THAT smell, so you could sniff your way thru the ’scape’ to locate the groceries. Emeril says “When are they going to invent ’smell-a-vision?’” Sandra Lee better be hoping they don’t!
This site is hysterical. Keep up the funny work. So true and outrageous.
Great site so far and yes, humor is definitely needed. Love the food network, but, some of the shows, lately, yikes! Favorite shows on Food TV are Next Star and Chopped. Bravo gets my vote for Top Chef – love that one the best.
Omg! I luv this Website/Blog! Super Super Funny! Keep it Up!
It is OR-I-GI-NAL! :)
This is hilarious! I watch the food network all of the time and I always make fun of them… Giada’s Italian inflections, Ina’s gay friends, the Neely’s being inappropriate, Rachel Ray ruining everyone’s life… haha best website ever
You know what they say, those who make fun of things only do so because they lack the talent to actually create or produce any real results themselves.
Someone seriously needs to count how many times Anne Burrell says “I’m gonna go ahead.” I think it needs to be a drinking game…
Loving this site ladies
Jayne–I couldn’t afford the Glenlivet it would take to play that game.
This site rocks. Keep it up. I love the food network, but some of it is entirely over the top and some of it is downright stupid (Ace of Cakes).
Awesome site, keep up the good work guys!
“Tact is for people who aren’t smart enough to be sarcastic.”
Thanks for the laughs!
I LOVE THIS SITE AND ALWAYS GET A GREAT LAUGH WHEN I WATCH INA AND ALLHER SNOBBY WHITEBRED FRIENDS.ESPECIALLY WHEN I SAW THEM ALL EATING PIZZAS USING FANCY SILVERWARE,KNIVES AND FORKS, WTHF IS UP WITH THAT? WHAT NEXT THEY HAVE THEIR HIRED HELP TEST THEIR BATH WATER BEFORE THEY TAKE THEIR BATHS?? GEEZ. A BEACH PARTY WITH FLOWERS, PALM TREES, FANCY CLAMS,GIVE ME A BREAK.
Thanks so much for this site! It is now my homepage – I can’t get enough of it.
could you guys PLASE do a piece on how giada has no vocabulary whatsoever? everything is “lemony” or “minty”. that’s it. plus, she describes what she does in one long run on sentence punctuated by “and” stretched into two syllables–”aa-and.” so annoying. finally, every time she talks about the food, she just says “isn’t that pretty?” makes me wanna scream. they are tougher on the contestants on next food network star than they are on their current personalities in this respect. (i also noticed that tyler florence only uses the adverb “really” as in “really really good” or “really really delicious.” but giada is way more annoying.)
Hey guys you forgot Jack and Ass aka Party line with the hearty boys. They make me soooo sick.I don’t see anything on Dave Lieberman or Michael Chirarello oh ya and that other show where that guy who got fired for saying he cooked for the queen on England.
I happened to vacation up in Vancouver, BC a few months ago and came across the Food Network up there. It looks like the same company except their shows were more about actual cooking and nutrition. Think they could put a few of those on Hulu?
“e that guy who got fired for saying he cooked for the queen on England.”
FN hired him back and gave him NEW episodes of Dinner Impossible.
FN is so lacking in honesty and morals it’s pathetic.
Your site makes me happy in the pants.
absolutely hilarious….ya’ll had me in tears laughing for hours!
I WISH THE FOODNETWORK WOULD BRING BACK REPEATS OF SOME OF THE OLD CLASSIC SHOWS FROM A FEW YEARS BACK, TWO HOT TAMALES, THE OLD MARTHA STEWART SHOWS, CURTIS AIKENS,ETC.BECAUSE SOMEOF THESE NEW SHOWS SUCK BIG TIME.AND SOME OF THE STANDARDS TOO. EMERIL WHERE ARE YOU??
There’s a Challenge show on now that seems perfect for Food Network. It’s all about preparing food for some photo shoot. It says right in the preview that they don’t even have to make the food taste good, as long as it looks good.
I just got wind of this site and now I check it every day. What a crack-up.
I found this website while searching for blogs about the current series of “The Next Food Network Star”. This has some very funny stuff, and I will be visiting frequently.
Many thanks!
Great site. Laughed my a** off too. More, more, more!
Here’s a tip for y’all. If, like me, you have ever wondered about Michael Chiarello’s sexuality, try watching “Easy Entertaining” (especially the lead-ins) with your TV volume turned all the way down. The hand gestures… the facial expressions… the easy glide around the kitchen area… and see if you can come to any conclusion.
I am literally in love with this website.
I’m addicted. Brilliant freaking idea for a blog. I wish I’d thought of it. How DO you get those screenies up so fast, anyway?
This web site is a true discovery. Your humor is right on and a must read for me everyday. I start off the day with a smile. Keep up the good work, you are very talented.
Is anyone else as tired of Rachael Ray as I am? Food Network, NBC, and as if we could all travel all over the world as she and her husband (at the cost of someone else)does? Give me a break!
OMG, this is precious! I thought I was the only one who noticed that the Contessa only had friends who were gay appearing
i love this website. i found it a couple weeks ago. i am absolutely hooked on the food network right now. but i love how this website talks about everyone on there. i believe that all the bio’s written are true.
I cannot stand to watch sandra lee and her fake stupid recipes, the neely’s need to get a room, and guy being a douche is just funny to watch. however i think Alton Brown is the best on there.
Whatever happened to Mario Bataelli(dont know how to spell) Show? or the japanese iron chef?
You can find old reruns of the Japanese Iron Chef on the Fine Living network, if your cable carries it. They used to have Mario Batali, too, but I haven’t seen it in a while so I’m not sure about him.
Finally!
I thought I was the only one who was purturbed by the impossible contorsions of the brown silly puddy that is Giada’s face.
I can’t believe all the negative comments about Guy Fieri and the god awful things he attempts to sell.
It’s clear that he rocks the telly.
He’s half Joe Camel, and a third Fonzarelli.
He’s the kung fu hippie from “Gangsta” city.
He’s a “rappin” surfer, who feels nothing but pity for you and I.
He is a rockin’ dog.
Aside from that one quibble, I love this website.
Keep up the good work.
Where do you get your ideas?!?!?!!!!?!!!???!!!!??!!
Ladies,
Congratulations on this totally fresh and genuinely funny website. Lord knows we all need alot of laughs in these uncertain times. I was a huge fan of the FTVN from the begining but have become dismayed at the way these Chefs have become so animated and infected with oversized ego’s and obnoxious behavior and bizzare concepts (Sandra Lee’s “Tablescapes” come to mind). With the exception of a couple of shows I watch, the rest is like watching a carnival side-show, you know the Lady with the Beard, the Two-Headed baby…Thank you for a rare and refreshing chance of pace and a Reality check for FNTV!
If “Olive Loahf” is someone who is not affiliated with this site, I will eat my own scat.
In Reply to Dick Bronson:
If i’m affiliated with this website, then my Granny died a virgin. Time to get out that knife and fork, or do you consider it Finger Food?
Ohhhhh, your poor horny, lonely, granny
! Snif!!
I masterbate to Giada on average 3 times a day. I wonder how close I am to the target demographic?
I hope with those numbers I’m not a target audience for Aida…
OMG have u ever realized that when they cut to a different shot of aunt sandy on her show she always sounds like shes just starting to inhale?? OR RATHER GASP?? idk whats with that super super silly aunt sandy. ANYONE AGREE OR AM I JUST GOING CRAZY??
ok another note: bobby flays breasts are larger than rachel rays! thats nasty
^^^^not to mention bobby’s are pointier XD lol
Oh my goooodnesss…I AM SO HAPPY I FOUND THIS WEBSITE!! [: [:
i was CRACKING UP reading this. My roommates thought I was crazy! I LOVE IT!
This website is extremely cathartic for me! got laid off this year and have taken up cooking, and watching plenty of Food Network. I started to think I was the only person that noticed the ridiculous banter (are the Neelys going to make sweet love on national tv?) and the disturbing patterns of behavior (Rachael Ray we understand your in-laws don’t like to bite into garlic, don’t like seafood, and are a general embarassment to all italian-americans). But for me, this website specifically nails my two favorite targets – Sandra Lee and Ina Garten (I want to add Guy Fieri, but he is such a hot mess, he needs his own website for satire)!
Keep up the good work …
I am SOOOO glad that i found this website on accident. I was looking up “Giada sucks”, and found this lol. I laughed so hard at the content you guys have. All the things here is exactly what me and my mom say all the time. Giadas head and mouth are just huge, which doesnt make her short arms look any longer, Sandra is a true drunk, Bobby Flay is a wimpy, non-talented, losing redhead, Duff does absolutely NOTHING on his show but “research”, and Ina is always gawking over an old man named Jeffery in here horrible voice I cant stand to hear or my ears are gunna bleed. PLEASE KEEP THIS STUFF UP ITS PURE GENIUS! XD
I’m glad someone else is annoyed when Giada says “today I will be making GNOOOCCHHHHHHYIIII”
Great site….I came upon this by accident too. We are so fed up with that Alex woman the fat one from chopped. She is so incredibly rude! She may as well be spitting on their food. She really needs a grip!
I just caught the Neelys’ show the other day. The sexual innuendos and behavior is GETTING WORSE. I did not believe that would happen or was even really possible. Their show may need to be moved to Cinemax.
HAHAH i feel the same way! i was watching it today and was so grossed out by the sexual innuendos i forgot that this was the food network, and that they were cooking!
I just discovered your blog and think it is great. I totally agree with what your saying but it makes me kind of sad to think that the whole network is now about nothing but promoting a usually obnoxious personality. It was bad enough when we had to deal with Emeril throwing spices and yelling and the whole audience going crazy of that instead of his crappy cooking. Now we have to deal with the ever obnoxious and completely untalented Rachael Ray, Giada, way too much Paula, way too rich Ina, way to scuzzy Guy and the rest of the personalities. I say bring back David Ruggerio, Gale Gand and the Two Fat Ladies. Those were the days.
This is hands down one of the funniest websites I have ever visited. Kudos.
Have you ever thought of doing an equivalent site for HGTV? There’s a lot of craziness going on over there too. I swear every show host has a quota to use the word “actually”–as in, “I’m actually going to paint this wall green.” No….really?!?!
@ Linda What a great idea!
Discovered this site today, and haven’t been able to walk away! Love love love it. Please do more on Aunt Sandy. And perhaps a Giada montage with her over-enunciation of Italian words, her inappropriate groaning and of course, her overuse of the phrase “Just like that.”
Great job, ladies. Keep it up!
I love this Food Network therapy website… lol! I share all your thoughts too. Barefoot Contessa’s has only gay friends, Sandra Lee simply sucks, Guy Fieri looks make me loose my appetite, Did I say Sandra Lee’s show sucks?, Bobby Flay might a great chef but arrogant as he can be, Giada’s over-enunciaton of words and lack of personality. I do love Ace of cakes, Iron Chef and Alton Brown’s shows, respect what Rachel Ray has accomplished, and loves almost all Ellie Krieger recipes… so it’s not all bad…
Is Brian Boitano gay?? I’m curious (yess pun intended)
Regardless of him being a figure skater, those gestures, tone, that haircut (maybe) and necklaces scream gay; however, my personal gaydar is having technical difficulties.
He just seems to be one of those (extremely rare) types that I can’t put my finger on (figuratively). Or maybe I’m just skeptical FN would would take that “leap”.
I googled him, not very extensively, and I read he’s married w/ children.
Anyways, I (really, Really) hope he does spread his butter the way the rest of us 10% do. I’d be a great fresh transition as opposed to lovely Ina’s (extremely annoying) queened-out friends on.
and that leads me to Ina. I LOVE her to death (even the nervous stuck up giggles) but what’s up w/ her raising the level of name dropping. “The Benton’s are comming” “My friends the Liebermans” Typically it’s people we “know” like Diana Strata or her plethora of gay friends (Michael, Miguel, Frank, Steven, etc etc) but all this last name talk of (gay Gasp!) straight couples is getting annoying. Who the hell are these people?? The Bentons :p Ina Please, Gurrrrl, tone it down.
I am thrilled to have found this website, you have no idea. Just in case your curious, this is how I found it.
This was really bothering me after seeing several Ina Garten Barefoot episodes, so in the search I typed:
“Is Ina Garten’s scrambled eggs cooked completely?”
Nuff said.
I laughed so hard when I read this site, that milk came snorting out of my nose. And I wasn’t drinking milk. Keep up the awesome work. I blogrolled you!
This is like Wonkette for foodies!!!
Bless you, in a secular way.
You’re my new bookmark/internet non gay crush.
Hey! :)
this site is awesome! i tried sending u guys an email, but my stupid computer doesn’t work. soooo….
here’s some tips for new stories!
1.) Duff Goldman is writing a book. Seriously. Check out Mary Alice’s blog on the Charm city Cakes Website
2.) Rachel Ray was on this week’s Bullseye in Entertainment Weekly. What is says: “Daytime Emmy voters prove they’ve never watched TV by honoring Rachel Ray as Best Talk Show”
Just so you know.
You guys rock!
I love this site! I believe that Food Network should be like Mystery Science Theater and this is the closest thing we have right now. You say all the things that I say when I watch these shows. Glad to know I’m not the only one that watches hours of cooking shows only to laugh at them.
Funniest Website Ever! I watch food network a lot and so many things on this site about the personalities are so true. I was laughing out loud and will be visiting this website for new updates daily!
Love the website, boy have you got these “chefs” down pat! I do profess a deep and abiding love for Guy though… he’s really the only reason I watch Food Network since they relegated my luscious Nigella to Saturday mornings at 730 A.M.! I sure do miss Two Fat Ladies!
I found this site today looking up “food network stars” and I am sooo happy that I found your site. I have neglected what I was doing and could not walk away you’re your site…what can I say I am speechless. I am sure everyone already said what I am going to say, but you are so funny, creative, and very well written (or is it well spoken? ).
I was trying to understand what it is that draws people to these shows as Anthony Bourdain says “sell low expectations”. I am not American, and after being so inspired by Julia Child (see her tapes on PBS- I so Love that woman!) how could it be people can respond to the four step chicken and low quality Harrisa (in a tube) smeared over good quality steak?
Like one top chef reviewing Jeffrey’s risotto, I say this an insult to Harissa (I am Moroccan). Harissa (North African spice/paste) needs to be used in its proper form: such as in a fish marinade called “Chermoula” in Morocco. The network also showcased a lower quality harissa as the ones in the tube tend to be mostly filled with tomato paste (it is cheaper to produce). The good brand Harissa usually comes in a jar filled mostly with sun dried peppers grounded with spices and good quality olive oil. It should not be overly spicy and tend to add flavor just like an acid would (example vinegar or lemon juice). If anyone needs the name of the brand I use let me know, it is available online as well as some stores.
At any rate my husband is American and I have lived in this country long enough to know that Americans are not dumb. I am happy to have my opinion reinforced by you and your readers. I know the network is more interested in entertaining than teaching so they can reach a wider audience but still I think they can be lot more creative in doing so as they have been able to in the past.
I hope websites like yours will open the eyes of the food network that its audience deserve better than what currently is on. Thanks again for the laughs and keep up the great work!
Hello! I found this website about a week ago and am addicted! It’s so much fun to read! I too am a Food Network fan but am becoming increasingly discouraged with the lack of actual cooking going on. I don’t need someone teaching me how to open up cans or bottles of salad dressing. PBS has some excellent cooking programs (Everyday Food, America’s Test Kitchen) that are way better than some of the garbage on FN.
I do like to watch Giada’s show but her newer shows are too contrived. I didn’t realize I needed ideas for what food to take to a polo match! And lately, she uses lemon zest in EVERY single recipe!!
Also, I don’t think Sandra Lee understands the meaning of the word “literally.”
Keep up the great work! This website is so entertaining!
This site is the best!
Keep up the good work ladies!
BEST.SITE.EVAH.
Thank you thank you thank you…
I LOVE you guys! I am a Food Network junkie. I have been looking for something like this. It kinda gets old yelling at the T.V.. ;-) HE HE !
WHAT A GREAT SITE! I used to love FN because it was actually about cooking. Now it is a swill of egos and competitions about foods no one would ever create for their family.
Everyone on FN is so full of themselves!
Keep on keeping on here making fun of something that started so good and has become SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO bad!
Samy..I would love to know of a web site that sells good quality harissa along with other good quality North African products!
WOW who would have thought I would find this gem of a website while trying to get to the bottom of my hunch that Melissa D’Arrabian has yet another bun in the oven. While I didn’t get my answer, this discovery was even better!
“WOW who would have thought I would find this gem of a website while trying to get to the bottom of my hunch that Melissa D’Arrabian has yet another bun in the oven. While I didn’t get my answer, this discovery was even better!”
Welcome to FNH, Tonya O! I found this fabulous website during TNFNS competition and have not stopped LMAO since. I think Mommy Dearest has another bun in the oven, too ;)
You are on my fave’s. I check it several times per day. Very impressive work…keep it up!!
Holy cow – can’t believe I hadn’t found this site yet. You are so dead on. And I swear I have muttered these same musings to my husband as well – only to find that you all are thinking along the same line as me!
You should submit a script to SNL. This stuff is hilarious.
Have you seen foodnetworkaddict.blogspot.com? It’s like a less funny, kiss ass version of this site. I don’t know who runs it, but it made me uncomfortable.
Glad i stumbled on this site…nice to know other people are thinking the same things about this network.
Hi Jill and Michelle,
I wanted to let you know that you have received one of the very first It’s A Major Award! awards, for your super-awesome blog! You can check all the details out here: http://christinecancook.wordpress.com/2009/11/05/and-the-award-goes-to/
Thanks for blogging!
Christine
Jillian and Madison need to grow up and get a life!!!!! This is the stupidest web site. It’s a shame that there are so many small minded people that talk shit and make fun of others. Wheres your Food Network hit show you bunch of losers??????
Where’s your sense of humor you loser idiot?
Jennifer and Moran need to grow a brain.
Brilliant and brilliantly funny. Many thanks for a great site.
It’s called a sense of humor, Jennifer Moron, you should grow one. Great website. Keep up the delicious work!
lol. sarcasm isn’t for everyone i guess. i kind of like the one ridiculous comment like J. Moran’s peppering the whole list of positive comments. i like that you point out the FN host’s flaws and oddities – and how you don’t idolize them like some (ahem) people seem to. keep up the good work! maybe as a tribute to those who don’t like your sarcasm, how about a post dedicated to Moran – “what TO do to get your own food network show”
Please do parody of HGTV next!
I found this site by accident and am totally hooked! Yes, I’m a Food Network junkie but am totally glad I now have a place to go where I’m not alone in these hysterical observations of the chefs. Keep up the great work, thanks guys!!
This site is hilarious. Not sure how I stumbled upon it, but it’s awesome. My co-workers probably think I am insane. I have been laughing out loud all day! I am a FN junkie, I must admit, but I do have my favorites and the not so much favorites. Plus, trashing people is always fun. Keep up the good work.
This site is awesome, at first you think your’re on the Food Network Site…then you start laughing. Have any of the FN Stars ever commented here??
Keep it up, I love it. By the way I am a huge fan of the food netowrk. Chopped and Throwdown are the 2 best shows right now, and of course “The Next FN Star” when it’s going-
7/8ths of everything set to record on my DVR is food network. I’m addicted to trying to cook what I see and making my family eat it with me. This site is awesome, I have not laughed that hard in a long time! Keep it up. I will visit regularly.
Anyone here see Everyday Tramp’s spread in Esquire magazine? She’s in a white negligee covered in tomato sauce and someone out there in cyber land turned it into an ad for Tampax!!!! I kid you not! I laughed so hard I fell out of my computer chair!!
I am an avid fan of only a few FN shows: Ina, Tyler, Ann Burrell, and occasionally RR (who gets on my nerves with childish made up words).
We can all live without Everyday Tramp, The Neelys, Nigella (what a SLOB!), and Bobby Flay looks like he’s filled with rage 24/7. Even Paula Deen is sickening with her use of butter and fake cackling over things that are NOT FUNNY.
And Sunny Anderson says “N’Orleens” so often we turn it off too. “Egg YOLLLLLKS?” You don’t pronounce the “L” in yolk. We already have Simply Delicioso; now yet another new Spanish-styled show? We don’t need it!!!
I so want to email Guy Fieri
Man!! This show is sooooo addicting! I LOVE IT!! Blue team rocks!!!
I just found this website a few days ago, and I have to say I LOOOOOVE it! I am a big FN fan, but I will say that after reading some of the posts on here, I have gone back and watched a few episodes in a new light (e.g: I never noticed how annoying Giada actually could be when with her over-pronunciation of Italian words)…
Thanks for the humor and originality.
Yesterday I was pleasantly surprised to see Guy Fieri without his sunglasses! First time for me at least. I don’t watch his show but see him featured here and there but never without those dang sunglasses. It was the episode with the Pepini Crusted Halibut and runny looking mashed potatoes.
Melissa D’Arabian’s program is laughable!!!!! 2 pages of ingredients that feed 4 people for $10 – or in this case $9??? Tilapia is not sold ANYWHERE for $2.99/lb. And she used a good 2 pounds. Plus: a bottle of white wine for deglazing, walnuts, pineapples, tortillas, etc. and when I and my sister wrote down her ingredient list (with local “on sale prices”, our grand total came up to a wopping $38 !!!!! This chick is living on some other planet! A can of white beans that were used costs $1.50. Melissa claimed it cost her 8 cents!!! Say what??? Hey, food ain’t free!!!
Update on Giada: she “instructed” people on how to make a box cake about 2 weeks ago; last weekend, she was cramming prosciutto down her infant’s throat! OMG !!! It just gets worse each time I catch a few minutes of Everyday Tramp.
Great site!!
Fantastique
I find this site particularly hilarious. My fiance is uber annoyed by Giada’s over pronunciation of every single Italian word she says. I particularly love his impression of her when we are shopping for bruschetta…or prosciutto. I don’t mind her recipes so much as I do of that gaping smile that scares me, every time she opens her mouth.
Everyday Tramp let go of yet another wild comment!! On a recent episode, she made pizza – and insisted people make their own dough. Why? “Because you don’t know what they put in there.” As if local pizza delivery places make dough “wrong”??? LOL LOL!!!! She just gets worse with every episode!!!
This site is funny. I kinda was beginning to think it was just overly harsh/negative but … you guys are spot on. Ha keep it up
I LOVE the site!
You’ve read my mind and best of all used pictures to help drive the point home. Great work!
Maybe you’ve covered this already and I just missed it, but ever notice how big Giada’s head is? It’s like twice the size of her body. She’s like a bobblehead doll. I’d like to make a personal request for a joke on that!
Thanks for all the laughs.
Dee
This is a bullshit site! Either your writers are paid or they are dimwitted. Not one negative comment about your site?
You’re here aren’t you?
Kind of slow there, coco64? First, if you take the time you’ll find other negative comments about the site. Not a lot, I’ll grant you, when you consider the numbers, but they’re there. Second, people with an IQ over, say, 5, realize that most people come here for a reason: because they like seeing well-deserved snark, criticism and satire directed at Food Network. Some may remember what the network once was and are disillusioned with the slow but steady and irreparable deterioration in quality of the network, its personalities and its shows. Others, like myself, are somewhat newer to the train wreck, and stare in slack-jawed, stunned disbelief at yet another cake decorating show/competition, or a Guy Ferry slovenly making his way though some diner’s kitchen, or Sandra committing another crime against humanity with a Kwanzaa cake or tablescape. As this site caters to what we want, you’re unlikely to see too many people tearing it apart. But, again, open up those peepers, take a more thorough look around and you’ll see negative comments in some of the far corners or up in the dusty rafters.
Why isn’t there a Facebook page for you all? There should be so I could keep up with your hilarious site much easier.
Hilarious site!! Thanks to TyFlo for RT something you posted. I’m signing up today!
I’m pissed off that I’m just now finding this site. I LOVE IT!! I’m an Aunt Sandra despiser from way back and this is absolutely my favorite web site in the history if the internet. I often wondered if there were others who felt the same about the Neelys, Paula Deen and Ina’s ridiculous fake parties.
I’m so glad I’m not alone. Keep up the good work, ladies. I am truly your biggest latest fan.
excuse me, OF the internet.
Just found it today. Great site. Makes me laugh aloud – a lot.
Just discovered your podcast, love it love it love IT!! Although I gotta ask you guys to PLEASE watch Chopped so that I can can listen gleefully as you rip Ted & Co. apart!!
This. Is. The. Best!!!!!
Love, Love, Love this site and read it everyday! I agree with Erin V…please watched Chopped for Alex G. alone! She is a major B on that show:) Keep writing!!
I just found this site while looking up info on Kerry Vincent’s headbands. I love, love, love this!
I love your podcast. You two crack me up. I will never watch another FN show without thinking what you and/or your listeners have to say about it. Thanks for that!
Here I am stuck at home recuperating from a broken ankle and was watching Ina preparing a meal for another pair of her boys. For the heck of it I googled Ina Garten gay men and your website was the first hit. Thank you for making my day, I haven’t laughed this hard in weeks. Keep it up.
Hello ladies, my 11 year old daughter and I are hooked on FN. I just found your site this morning…too funny! You ladies are spot on! I only wish your comments were more PG so I could share them with my daughter. Thank you for the humor and creativity!
Sandra D.
[...] Food Network Humor is a website that pokes fun on the Food Network’s hosts and shows. You can register to be a member, upload photos, write comments, and connect with other members. [...]
I just found this site today Googling Aarti’s blog so I could try to see why people would want to eat that stuff. I have been sitting here for an hour laughing till I am crying. This is a great site! I have been watching FN since it came on and was a great channel with real cooks. You are exactly right about what it has become. Remember when Bobby Flay was on with the guy from the firehouse and they argued whether charcoal or gas was better to grill with? Then they tried to class up Bobby with a dinner party show where he and a cute girl cooked and entertained a group of “friends” at a dinner party? The actual cooks are gone and it is like a QVC channel for people to sell pots, kitchen accessories and cookbooks, doing demonstrations like a Pampered Chef distributor.
OMG, What is with her phony accent? There is not a natural accent on the planet like hers. That is the most annoying thing to me. When she talks, I hears nails scraping on the blackboard. UGH. Don’t even get me started on her recipes.
I love this site. Just found it today coutesy of a close friend. Most of the comments are right on and what I have been thinking for quite a while. Short of throwing something at the television during some of these shoes is mighty tempting.
To be clear I have been a FN Fan for quite a while. When it first started it was fine. I loved Sarah Moulton (where di she go or better yet where was she banished to?) and a couple of the others.
To be clear twice, most of these people are cooks not chefs. It’s one thing to be an accredited chef and quite another to be simply a cook masquerading as a chef.
Some comments on the players:
Giada – oh dear can we tak mispronouncing ever word that remotely resemble Italian. I am particularly amused when he mentions pancetta and mozarella. She masacers both. She is anal to boot and obviously knows nothing about what food is or isn’t and those phony back yard pool parties with the brat kids and bitchy girlfriends are just way overkill. I won’t go into the bosom bit as I think it has been made quite clear in other comments left on this site as well as the obviously gay husband.
Sonny Anderson – with each show comes more pounds added to the “june is bustinging out all over” figure of hers. And we can dispense with the “when I was a girl crap/” No boday cares, she is just plain awful.
Guy Ferry, Fiery or Fairy or whatever. Grow Up! You are not cool, and way too old for the bling, bleached hair and shades. Also nix the pals Squid, Rooster, Cletus et a. befor we all throw up. Guy should also be nicknamed the “Cumin King.” I hate cumin and it doesn’t have to be in every recipe. Also the so called killer cocktails are nothing more than fru-fru liquid that couldn’t possibly taste good.
Wouldn’t you know Tyler Florence or Florence Tyler (whatever) would be a sorehead? Figures. He imagines himself as much more than he truly is, a lousy cook.
The Neely’s – this show is so hopeless that it is almost a joke that it made it to the network. Talk about bedroom innuendo and every other type of sexual overtone, it deserves to be in some bordello setting. AND there is nothing about Memphis cooking that is any good. Been there many times and if that is what is referred to as “good BBQ” then I’m sorry. Get mamma and some of the other off the show, they little or nothing.
Paula Deen – First of all, I have travlled to Savannah many-many times and no one, I repeat no one talks like she does. That lingo is about as fake as it gets and someone really needs to tell her to can the cackle. It’s not becoming and a woman her age ought to know better. As for the food – PUKE. I ate at Mothere and Son’s once and it was awful. Populated with hundreds of obese beasts who deserve every bot of those vein clogging calories in that crap. Uncle Bubba’s is good however, I have enjoyed eating there. Those two boooooooooooyzeeeees need to get a life and stay out of the kitchen. That is just hopeless. One is border line gay and the other one thinks he is the only male on the face of the earth that has fostered a child. Poor kid. His wife must die of boredom.
Then there is Mr. Paula Deen who who really looks and acts like an old drunk. Why they are all so charming it hurts.
INA dear INA where on earth do you come up with those gay men? I realize the Hamptons are loaded with it, but do they all come to your house for dinner that many times in a week? TR (if that is his real name) is about the only one who is believable, not to mention good eye candy. Need to have more of him and less of the others.
I have tried some of INA’s recipes and they do turn out pretty good……..but of course don’t forget the “good ingredients.” INA must also have unlimited charge priviledges with the local purveyors……..ever see money change hands? Ina also needs to try losing some of that flab. It looks awful.
Emeril – ENOUGH ALREADY?????
Bobby Flay – another gigantic ego that needs to be dealt with. I don’t care what grill marks look like on my food, as long as it looks good and tastes good the rest is all fluff. Get a life Mr. Thing. And please don’t be so condescending.
Brian Boitano – now here is one for the books. I have never been so embarrassed in my life watching this queen. He really does give most gay folks a black eye for tasteless comments and bad food. Whoever put him on the FN deeds to jerk him off the FN just as quickly. That show is awful.
Aida – where on earth did this know it all come from? She is witless and that little troll on the laptop on the show with her serves no purpose. A complete waste of thirtly minutes.
Rachel Ray – now here is one that has truly outlived her usefulness. We have dear Oprah (Opie-Dopey) to thank for this monster. Someone needs to grab her (Rachel) by the lips and lead her to the edge of town and dispose of her and take that GD EVOO with her. She has sunk from quasi shy Rachel, to big mouthed, overbearing Rachel. And that husband, if that is a husband needs to go with her. She is another one that needs to consider Weight Watchers.
Michael Chiarello is great. Some of his stuff is out there, but a lot of it isn’t and is very good. Not sure if the wife or should I say the lack of one adds or detracts from the show. And those fake friends – not needed.
Why do we need to be subjected to “The Next Food Network Star” episodes that are endless, to wind up with some undeserving idiot as the winner. It looks like the one that doesn’t give the panel grief wins. Also some of the other cooks on the network just appear from nowhere i.e. Aida, Ann Burrell, and a couple of others. Who selects them? Also making the hopefuls create dishes from what ever is in the grocery bags is complete BS. Let them do what they need to do.
And speaking of the panel, where does this Ted guy get his credentials (talk about a gay guy)as well as the great Alexandria and a few others who look totally lost. Bobby Flay is awful as the MC and this time around they had the guts to stick Giada into the equation. EEEEEEEGAD!!!!
Iron Chef – what’s the point here? I do not like to watch animals of any kind being slaughtered live to make some dish. It’s a wonder the SPCA hasn’t stepped in and fined the FN a good one. That show needs to be axed right along with ACE of Cakes with all that putrid fondant and that LA who does nothing on the show except light the joints for the cake decoraters at break times. A complete waste of time.
Sandra Lee – nothing but a big lush who should do commercials for Smirnoff Vodka and other spirit makers. The money savings shows are a joke and those table scapes are just beyond beyond.
Someone needs to start monitoring the Cooking Channel as well before that gets completely out of hand.
Thanks for listening.
MM