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Archives for "Best Of FNH"

Best Of FNH, Guy Fieri »

Matthew McConaughey Will Be On Guy’s Big Bite
Posted on December 13th 2010

Apparently for no other reason than to promote his ugly line of JK Livin apparel (that’s Just Keep Livin’ – with the letter “G” removed because it’s much cooler that way), Matthew McConaughey will be on a special episode of Guy’s Big Bite this Saturday, December 18 at 8 pm EST. This is a match made in heaven, considering how much McConaughey and Fieri have in common. They’re both middle aged douchebags that you sort of just want to kick in the groin without really knowing why. They have annoying voices, fugly wardrobes, phony personalities, and in 10-15 years no one will remember who the hell they were.

The good news is that if the world doesn’t blow up as a result of them blasting through the airwaves, the episode should be hilarious. There’s McConaughey cooing over “fresh squeezed lime juice” like it’s liquid gold. There’s Fieri wearing a hideous JK Livin visor that makes him look like his double-wide is parked out front. And of course, there’s the two of them playing an impromptu bongo interlude. Give me a fucking break.

Keep living… er- LIVIN… that rockstar dream, Fieri. And McConaughey, keep your shirt on and your marijuana hidden this time, you tool.

Best Of FNH, General: Food Network »

Unnecessarily Censoring The Food Network
Posted on June 24th 2010

As it turns out, unnecessarily censoring the Food Network can be pretty hilarious. Who knew?

funny food network

funny food network

funny food network

funny food network

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Alton Brown, Best Of FNH »

Alton Brown Donates $100 To FNH; Offers To Match Pledges Of Other Food Network Hosts
Posted on May 24th 2010

One of the questions I get asked most is, “Do Food Network hosts read this website? Do they love it or hate it?”

The answer: most of them haven’t acknowledged our existence. Paula Deen’s people sent me an autographed cookbook with a pair of pink bedazzled eyeglasses, Andrew Zimmern’s people sent me a t-shirt, and Tyler Florence threatened to sue me if I ever “harassed” him again (Tyler, you can have my 1995 Toyota Celica and my college loans; they’re all yours, dude!)

And then there’s Alton Brown. Last week, he wrote me one of the best e-mails I’ve ever received in my life: a simple note to say how much he enjoys reading this website, that it makes him laugh often, and oh yeah: that he made a $100 donation to show his gratitude for doing what we do.

thanks-alton-brown

BUT WAIT! THERE’S MORE!

Just when you thought the man couldn’t possibly get any cooler, he challenged his fellow Food Network chefs to a financial throwdown  and offered to match all of their pledges to this website. Oh, it’s on now!

I sent out Twitter messages to Rachael Ray, the Deens, Alex Guarnaschelli, Bobby Flay, Ted Allen, Charm City Cakes, Guy Fieri, Adam Gertler, Giada, The Neelys, and Aaron McCargo to alert them about the challenge. We’ll keep you updated if any Food Network personalities actually do step up, admit they like the site, and decide to make a donation… though I’m not expecting to hear from Tyler Florence any time soon.

All jokes aside, a huge thanks goes out to Alton Brown for doing what he does, for doing it so well, and for being able to laugh at himself along the way. Cheers, Alton!

UPDATE: If any of the hosts actually DO contribute to Alton’s throwdown, a portion of the money collected will be donated to FeedingAmerica.org. For every $1 donated, Feeding America helps provide 7 meals to men, women and children facing hunger in our country.

Best Of FNH, Giada De Laurentiis »

Giada’s New Line Of Dog Food
Posted on May 11th 2010

giada-dog-food

Welcome to part one of our celebrity chef dog food collection, where 14 and I imagine what the world would be like if a few famous chefs started following in Rachael Ray’s footsteps and selling their own brands of dog food.

Giada will surely cash in with Ciao Chow, a premium family-style Italian dog food no teenage boy will be able to resist buying. Giada slathered her famous SPA-GIT-TEE with one of her new pasta sauces from Target, and topped the whole thing off with crunchy moat-za-rell-uh meatballs that will help promote good dental health. Just look at those chompers!

Of course, her cleavage will be prominently displayed on the product’s packaging. Would it really be “Giada” without it?

[Drawing by the insanely talented 14. You can find her hilariously skewering pop culture at her website, Gallery Of The Absurd.]

Best Of FNH, Rachael Ray »

The Many Emotions Of Rachael Ray
Posted on April 21st 2010

Rachael Ray makes a lot of expressive faces. As such, it can be difficult – if not impossible – for the novice Food Network watcher to know just what she’s trying to convey with each carefully contrived facial contortion. So, we decided to create this handy little Rachael Ray emotion chart to help you all out in a pinch. Whip it out and refer to it as necessary. Happy Food Networking!

rachael-ray-emotions


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