Archives for "FNH Google Search Terms"

FNH Google Search Terms »

Food Network Humor Search Terms
Posted on August 17th 2009

(Editor’s note: By popular request, here are some more of the funniest (and most unusual) google search terms that led people here to Food Network Humor. By “popular request” we mean “one person said something about wanting more in the comments.” And yes, these are ACTUAL SEARCH TERMS. They haven’t been edited in any way to protect the innocent or the stupid.)

FNH SEARCH TERMS FOR THE WEEK OF 8/10/09

Search Term: “giada de laurentiis breasts”
Our Reply: Hundreds of people land here each week after searching Google for that… and they ain’t lookin’ for her chicken recipe, we’ll tell you that much.

Search Term: “ina garten weight gain”
Our Reply: Indeed. She’s fat, she’s thin, she’s fat, she’s thin. She’s like the Oprah Winfrey of the Food Network.

Search Term: “whose d*ck is sandra lee sucking”
Our Reply: EIGHT PEOPLE got to FNH by searching that. EIGHT DIFFERENT PEOPLE. Bright side? At least they wrote “whose” and not “who’s”. It’s the little things.

Search Term: “how much does guy fieri make”
Our Reply: Unfortunately, not enough to buy some clothes that don’t make him look like the pinsetter at your local bowling alley.

Search Term: “food neture .com/paula deen”
Our Reply: Sorry, I can’t stop laughing long enough to compose a witty response.

Search Term: “ina garten drives car”
Our Reply: Yes! We hear she (gasp) even puts GAS in it sometimes.

Search Term: “do the food network starts spit out their food after they taste it”
Our Reply: Only if Sandra Lee made it.

Search Term: “alex guarnaschelli is a bitch”
Our Reply: We agree… though we’re sure she’d be thrilled that you at least spelled her name correctly.

Search Term: “bobby flay arrogant ugly redhead”
Our Reply: That’s one way to put it!

Search Term: “i just can’t stand the neelys from food network”
Our Reply: Umm… are you searching for something in Google, or just venting? May I recommend starting a diary?

Search Term: “what is the address of rachael ray at foodnetwork?”
Our Reply: You can reach Rachael at the following url:
www.GiveMeABreak-SheWillNeverReplyToYou.com.

Search Term: “is bobby flay rich”
Our Reply: Why else would his wife be with him? (ZING!)

Search Term: “why isn’t sandra lee married?”
Our Reply: Would YOU marry her? There. Question answered.

Search Term: “make fun of food network”
Our Reply: I know, isn’t it fun?

FNH Google Search Terms »

Food Network Humor Search Terms
Posted on March 23rd 2009

(Editor’s note: Every week, we’ll post the funniest (or most unusual) google search terms that led people here to Food Network Humor. Hopefully, it will be a hysterical, insightful peek into the psyche of the average Food Network fan.)

FNH SEARCH TERMS FOR THE WEEK OF 3/16/09

Search Term: “food network humer”
Our Reply: Oh dear.

Search Term: “how tall is bobby deen”
Our Reply: It’s not his height we’re concerned about, it’s his width.

Search Term: “paula deen’s kitchen sink”
Our Reply: Sorry, you probably can’t afford it.

Search Term: “aaron mccargo runaway son”
Our Reply: It’s true. Aaron cried about it on Next Food Network Star: “mah son done run away.” He’s back now, and all’s well in Aaron’s world.

Search Term: “aida mollenkamp lesbian?”
Our Reply: Doubt it.

Search Term: “awful sandra lee recipes”
Our Reply: You mean as opposed to the delicious ones?

Search Term: “brooch that says kentucky derby on it in rinhestones”
Our Reply: Sorry. You won’t find that here. Try Paula Deen’s website.

Search Term: “does sunny anderson wear a wig?”
Our Reply: Does Willy Wonka make candy?

Search Term: “ina garten pantry size”
Our Reply: Bigger than your garage.

Search Term: “where does guy fieri get his shirts on tv”
Our Reply: Dollar bin at the Salvation Army?

FNH Google Search Terms »

Food Network Humor Search Terms
Posted on March 16th 2009

(Editor’s note: Every week, we’ll post the funniest (or most unusual) google search terms that led people here to Food Network Humor. Hopefully, it will be a hysterical, insightful peek into the psyche of the average Food Network fan.)

FNH SEARCH TERMS FOR THE WEEK OF 3/9/09

Search Term: “bobby flay wife”
Our Reply: WHICH ONE? He’s had more weddings than Joan Rivers has had facelifts. He’s currently married to Stephanie March (and she’ll be back on Law & Order playing Alex Cabot for the next 5 weeks).

Search Term: “alex guarnaschelli is an idiot”
Our Reply: I’m sure she’d be honored that you spelled her name correctly.

Search Term: “sandra lee’s boobs”
Our Reply: Sorry, we’re not that sort of website. On most days.

Search Term: “www.foodnetworkhumor.com”
Our Reply: You had to search for that in google?! You couldn’t just enter the URL?!

Search Term: “paula deen says hey y’all too much”
Our Reply: WAY TOO MUCH.

Search Term: “what does guy fieri wear on his arm”
Our Reply: A disgusting, dirty looking, hideous sweatband. That’s what.

Search Term: “kerry vincent’s headband”
Our Reply: You mean the one she wears on every single episode? I know! It’s ugly, like her attitude. She’s the culinary equivalent of SNL’s Debbie Downer.

Search Term: “alton brown gaining weight”
Our Reply: He is. Maybe it’s all that Welch’s grape juice.

Search Term: “is reggie sutherland gay”
Our Reply: Oh come on … do you really need to ask?!

Search Term: “my copper pots have a pinkish tint to them”
Our Reply: How awful. Good luck crying yourself to sleep tonight.

FNH Google Search Terms »

Food Network Humor Search Terms
Posted on March 5th 2009

(Editor’s note: Every week, we’ll post the funniest (or most unusual) google search terms that led people here to Food Network Humor. Hopefully, it will be a hysterical, insightful peek into the psyche of the average Food Network fan.)

FNH SEARCH TERMS FOR THE WEEK OF 3/1/09

Search Term: “food network mix it put it on a biscuit”
Our Reply: Why on Earth would anyone google that?!

Search Term: “rachael ray’s tits”
Our Reply: I think I just threw up in my mouth a little. I hate the word “tits” as it is, let alone Rachael Ray’s.

Search Term: “aida mollenkamp lesbian”
Our Reply: Last week, people were googling “Anne Burrell Lesbian.” This week, it’s Aida Mollenkamp’s turn! As far as I know, she’s straight. If anyone knows otherwise, post it in the comments. Inquiring minds need to know.

Search Term: “what nail polish does giada wear”
Our Reply: It’s OPI BUBBLEBATH. And it’s pathetic that I know that.

Search Term: “what kind of lip gloss does giada wear”
Our Reply: Okay, this is getting out of hand now.

Search Term: “danny boome annoying”
Our Reply: He sure is. He sounds like he should be doing infomercials next to the Sham-Wow guy.

Search Term: “fodd network touching the food with bare hands”
Our Reply: Of course they touch the FODD with bare hands. Are they supposed to wear latex gloves?

Search Term: “boobs and sweetness”
Our Reply: Man, you guys are perverted!

Search Term: “hate rachael ray website”
Our Reply: Welcome.

FNH Google Search Terms »

Food Network Humor Search Terms
Posted on February 23rd 2009

(Editor’s note: Every week, we’ll post the funniest (or most unusual) google search terms that led people here to Food Network Humor. Hopefully, it will be a hysterical, insightful peek into the psyche of the average Food Network fan.)

FNH SEARCH TERMS FOR THE WEEK OF 2/15/09

Search Term: “guy fieri is disgusting”
Our Reply: INDEED!

Search Term: “how much does duff goldman make”
Our Reply: Unfortunately, not enough to get off our televisions and move to Guam.

Search Term: “sandra lee unhealthy”
Our Reply: Her food or her body? We say both.

Search Term: “jeff corwin knows about food?”
Our Reply: No. Jeff Corwin knows 5 adjectives to describe food (“savory! sweet! clean! sour! fresh!”) that the Food Network producers taught him before they filmed the first episode. And that’s about it.

Search Term: “was down home with the neelys cancelled”
Our Reply: We wish. But alas, no. It’s still on the air.

Search Term: “fag hag food network”
Our Reply: Um, we think you might be looking for another Food Network website…

Search Term: “rachel ray is low class”
Our Reply: (giggling)

Search Term: “rachael ray embarrassing husband”
Our Reply: He is embarrassing. And dirty looking.

Search Term: “i despise sandra lee”
Our Reply: You’re in good company.

Search Term: “best places to eat rachel ray”
Our Reply: Ew. Just, ew.


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