Question of the day: what the hell was up with Anne Burrell on last night’s episode of The Best Thing I Ever Ate? SHE WAS ORANGE.

And now, FNH proudly presents:
THE ONLY 5 THINGS ON THE PLANET
THAT ARE MORE ORANGE THAN ANNE BURRELL

5. OOMPA LOOMPAS

4.ELLIOT MINTZ’S FOREHEAD

3.ANDREW ZIMMERN’S FAVORITE SHIRT

2.THIS GUY’S UNDERWEAR

1.RACHAEL RAY’S SILICONE HANDLES

If you’ve seen one episode of Worst Cooks In America, you’ve seen ‘em all. There is no real Worst Cooks In America video game, but should one be made in the future, I imagine it’d work something like this:

The Food Network’s newest reality competition, Worst Cooks In America, premieres on January 3rd at 10 pm. Although it plays out like the bastard lovechild of Next Food Network Star and Chopped, I must admit the clip makes the show look pretty darn good (in a bad sort of way):

My favorite parts from the video clip:

1) Anne Burrell screaming, “YOU ARE GIVING UP!” while perched high atop that ghetto makeshift watchtower.

2) The horrified looks on the faces of the food critics when they found out a bunch of (gasp!) home cooks prepared the meal they just ate. The horror!

3) The boiled chicken! Whyyyyyy, God, whyyyyyy!

And what about that stupid elimination slogan? “Please turn in your apron?” Hi, Food Network, you have a collect call from “UNCREATIVE.” Will you accept the charges?

Anne Burrell, the hyperactive chef and lover of brown foods, is being sued for discrimination. A few women are claiming Burrell harassed them with sexist slurs while they were all working together at a NYC restaurant called Centro Vinoteca. The suit claims only the women were discriminated against.

While being sued isn’t funny, the things Anne Burrell allegedly said ARE:

The plaintiffs claimed Burrell called them “slutty,” “ho’s”, and “whores”, and one even said Burrell accused her of faking an ovarian cyst. So apparently, Anne Burrell is able to diagnose a woman’s reproductive organs with her eyes. Who knew!

Perhaps FNH reader Sonia said it best: “It looks like Anne Burrell will need to schedule the next cookie swap party around her court dates.”

Good luck, Anne. Remind me to wear my most supportive bra should we ever meet.

It’s official: on today’s episode of “Secrets Of A Restaurant Chef,” Anne Burrell crossed the line from quirky to annoying. She spent the entire episode screaming “IT’S A BEAUTIFUL THING” and “I’M A HAPPY GIRL” – and, even worse, she kept breaking into these random Kermit The Frog/Barry White/Chef From South Park impersonations that made me want to blow up my television:

(If KERMIT TOURETTE’S isn’t a medically recognizes syndrome, perhaps this video will convince you it should be.)

Dear Anne Burrell,

We like you. We really do. You taught us how to properly truss a chicken, and your passion for smooth mashed potatoes convinced us to buy a food mill. But come on. You’ve got to chill with these skin tight, clingy outfits of yours. It’s time to go a size or two up. There’s no shame in being a plus-sized woman. We get it. Your food is tasty and you like to eat it. But we can see the outline of your belly button, and that’s just gross.

Love,
the folks at Food Network Humor, on behalf of THE FREE WORLD