Archives for "Duff Goldman/Mary Alice"

Last week, we told you Food Network was pulling the plug on Ace Of Cakes. But don’t feel sorry for Duff Goldman! In a recent interview with The Baltimore Sun, Duff boasted that the cancellation of his show will allow him to make “a lot more money!” (You know, just in case charging six figures for a cake isn’t quite enough.)

Sadly, that’s not the stupidest thing he said in the interview. He took a cheap shot at Buddy Valastro and the show Cake Boss by saying the genre of cake television has been “cheapened by TLC” and is now “saturated with stupid people yelling at each other.” More specifically, he told The Sun:

We’re a group of friends who really love each other. The rest of them, they’re so fake, they’re so set-up, it’s just bad television. Cake television is pretty catty, pretty mean. So we’ll let the catty people have it. We’ll move on.

Please. It’s CAKE TELEVISION, not Masterpiece Theater. How much more could it really be cheapened?

For someone who seems so disgusted by the “catty people” in the world of cake television, it’s interesting, then, that Goldman’s next TV show is going to be about… CAKES. He’s not “moving on”… he’s moving to Los Angeles to start up a West Coast version of Charm City Cakes, and it’s all being filmed for another reality tv show. He even referred to the new show as “basically kind of a continuation of Ace of Cakes.”

You know what that means! The prestigious world of Cake TV will continue to be saturated with stupid people yelling at each other. Rejoice!

Yesterday, Food Network quietly announced that they pulled the plug on Ace Of Cakes. Season 10 starts in January, and after that, it’s sayonara. And might I say THANK GOD. Listening to Geof and the rest of those hipster bakers running around that shop muttering in their monotone voices was more than I could tolerate. Your mileage may vary.

The show has been on since 2006. It’s now 2010. Only in “Food Network Land” could that amount to 10 seasons… but whatever.

Season 10 will feature more of the same: Duff & the crew overcharging people for fondant-covered pieces of wood and styrofoam. But wait! There’s more! Season 10 will also bring a large-scale recreation of the Delorean time machine from Back To The Future. Wow! GET EXCITED!

Bob “Tuschie” Tuschman said that viewers are still “passionate” about Duff, so they’re working on new show ideas for him. We’ll bring you OUR ideas for new Duff shows in a future post, so stay tuned.

If you can’t make it out, Duff’s saying “mouth full of meat” and “feel that sauce just dripping down the back of your throat.” Enjoy!

New game! Spot the borderline inappropriateness in Ace Of Cakes episodes!

Last week, we were treated to a gigantic airbrushed peen. This week, the word “DOUCHE” was written on a piece of paper in Elena’s workspace:

James wrote in with the tip, and added: “I don’t know if that’s her new title at the bakery, or her shopping list, or what. They certainly seem to be seeing what they can sneak by the standards though.”

I can’t wait to see what next week brings. Unless, of course, it’s a fondant replica of Geof’s manhood that they “accidentally” left sitting in the corner. Shudder.

No, really. There was.

Stay tuned for Food Network’s new spin-off, Ace Of Cocks, starring Dick Goldman and Mary Phallice, coming this fall.

(Thanks for the pic, @plasticlobster!)