Archives for "Giada De Laurentiis"

Usually Paula Deen is the one featured on PhotoshopDisasters.com – but this time, it was Giada. And OH MY GOD, HER HEAD! The longer you stare, the freakier it gets.

I don’t even think it’s a “photoshop disaster.” I think that’s what her head actually looks like when shot from below. Will someone at Food Network please feed this woman a cheeseburger? With bacon?

(Thanks for the tip, Marguerite!)

Okay, so who’s been watching Giada At Home?

I know, I know. I haven’t been either. Luckily, FNH readers Abbey and Sarah have been! Turns out, on yesterday’s show, Giada and her husband Todd went for a hike up a mountain. Giada, in all her picnicking glory, packed a PEPPERONI STICK AND WINE to feast on before their trek back down. Great idea. I know I love to pause half-way through my workouts to chug alcohol and spicy foods, don’t you?

The wine was a bit silly, but what about the GIANT WICKER VISOR she brought along?

I know she needs to generate as much shade as possible to protect her breasticles, but it’s a bit much. As Sarah said: “hiking” never looked so ridiculous.

Indeed.

Here’s the video you’ve all been waiting for: a behind the scenes look at Giada’s Royal Weekend, featuring all the lowly caterers who weren’t able to master her Chicken Milanese recipe:

Also, thousands of idiots thought Giada De Laurentiis was pregnant because her belly EVER SO SLIGHTLY popped out of her Victoria Beckham dress:

Uh, obviously you’re not pregnant, Giada. What do you weigh, 72 pounds? If your stomach was any flatter, it would start inverting. And if you had any less flesh on your bones, you’d be the crypt keeper.

Thankfully, this concludes FNH’s coverage of Giada’s Royal Weekend. We now return you to your regular Food Network snark.

As you may know, Giada is preparing food at a polo match on July 9th that’s going to be attended by a bunch of Royal British people. Yawn. The media is buzzing about this like she’s off curing AIDS, but I don’t understand the hoopla. Besides, what else is Giada really doing other than raising her beautiful daughter and screaming at men for eating TWO POTATOES?

The Today Show’s food blog, Bites, just ran an interview with Giada about the big event. Aside from sensationalizing it even more, and trying to convince us all it’s a bigger deal than it is, it really made Giada come off as… well… A BITCH.

Please enjoy these tidbits from the Giada interview, and if you are feeling frisky, head over there and read the whole thing:

That’s right. Giada’s not doing all the cooking by herself; she hired a catering company to work with her due to the volume of people attending. Sadly though, these lowly caterers couldn’t hold a candle to Giada’s culinary awesomeness. After several tries, these mere mortals still weren’t able to “master her chicken Milanese” recipe so she was forced to change the main course to veggie lasagna.

Not only did Giada throw her team of caterers under the bus, but the whole implication of “no one is as good as I am” is incredibly douchy.

It also brings up another valid point: if a team of skilled chefs aren’t able to re-create her recipes under her tutelage, what does that say for the rest of us poor saps at home?

Wow. Uh, don’t pat yourself on the back or anything. Is it really that big of a deal? Congratulations, Giada, you’re cooking for a bunch of people you’ve never met. Hopefully the gig will mean you no longer have to succumb to donning plastic eyewear for stupid color commentary pieces on the Food Network.

(Sidebar, and a huge bone of contention for me: Why should a meal for “Royals” or Obama or Brad Pitt be worthy of any more attention or hoopla than a meal for people who aren’t famous? Newsflash: the whole idea of fame is idiotic; they’re just people like we all are).

Years ago, some college kid bought a “short, fat” salami, handed it to Giada, and asked her to sign it. She did.

If you say so, Giada. If you say so.