Archives for "Food Network Hosts"
Sandra Lee »
Sandra Lee Talks Dirty
“This is beautiful butt juice. It’s gonna taste like Mario was in your ass himself!”
Sandra Lee »
Sandra Lee’s Denim and Diamonds Tablescape

On a recent rerunĀ of Semi-Homemade (subtitled: SEMI OUT OF HER FREAKING MIND), Sandra Lee created a “Denim & Diamonds” tablescape that will definitely go down in history as one of the most hideous things she’s ever done.
First, she hung a chandelier that was clearly made out of sequins from one of Dolly Parton’s old dresses. She then covered the table with cheap, smelly denim fabric and left the edges unhemmed to achieve that authentic, hillbilly look.

Next, she threw more tacky sequin strips all over the table. She then used replicas of J-Lo’s wedding ring as napkin holders.

Alex Guarnaschelli, General: Food Network »
Alex Guarnaschelli’s Fish en Papillote en 8 MILES OF TIN FOIL
Alex Guarnaschelli made fish en papillote on this weekend’s episode of Alex’s Day Off, and I swear to God, the woman used enough aluminum foil to stretch from Earth to the moon 17 times:

Look at the size of that thing. That’s not a pouch, it’s an airline pillow!

When she cut it open, the thing was filled with more hot air than Susie Fogelson. Why did she use so much? She was cooking a 6-oz piece of fish, not the shark from JAWS.
Why, with all that extra aluminum foil, Alex could have…





Maybe next time, Alex. The chickens are waiting.
Best Of FNH, Rachael Ray »
The Many Emotions Of Rachael Ray
Rachael Ray makes a lot of expressive faces. As such, it can be difficult – if not impossible – for the novice Food Network watcher to know just what she’s trying to convey with each carefully contrived facial contortion. So, we decided to create this handy little Rachael Ray emotion chart to help you all out in a pinch. Whip it out and refer to it as necessary. Happy Food Networking!

Sandra Lee »
Dear Sandra Lee, BABY FOOD Is Not An Ingredient (With Video)
Hello, jaw. Meet floor. You’re about to watch Sandra Lee cook with JARS OF BABY FOOD.
Sometimes, I have no words. This is one of those times.
“It’s gonna taste like you baked it from scratch!”
Um, not really. It’s gonna taste like my 8-month old cousin spit it up on my shoulder.
(Thanks for the tip, Mike!)
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