(Thanks for the tip, CineGrappler!)

Paula Deen’s been sculpted out of butter, and now Rachael Ray’s been immortalized in a block of ice. Finally! The circle of life is complete!

You see, for some un-Godly reason, a man named Sean Fitzpatrick decided to sculpt Ray Ray’s face out of a mound of snow. Maybe he was bored, maybe he couldn’t stand to be in the house because his wife was watching Big Daddy’s House. We may never know. Anyway, when he finished, he declared that the result looked “exactly like her.”

If “looked exactly like her” means “looked like it was missing a chromosome”, then yes! It looked just like her.

Rachael Ray, however, didn’t agree. She seemed completely mortified by the notion that she looked like that, and quipped back, “I don’t know if it looks JUST like me. I think it looks a little Shrek-y around the edges.” Perhaps one day Rachael will realize she is, indeed, a little Shrek-y around the edges in real life as well.

Here’s a video of Sean on the Rachael Ray Show, where he also carved Isaboo’s image into a block of ice. Wow. Is it just me, or does this poor guy need a life? What’s next? John Cusimano’s profile etched into an ice cube?

These are slow motion time-lapse photos of Rachael Ray saying the word “CHIVE.” Girlfriend’s taking enunciation to a whole different level. I honestly didn’t think human lips were genetically engineered to move in those directions.

Rachael Ray will be pranking unsuspecting customers at a dry cleaner tonight, on a stupid new CBS show called I Get That A Lot. The show features celebrities tricking everyday citizens in a case of supposed mistaken identity, and according to the CBS website, “these celebrities confuse customers who can’t decide if it’s the actual celebrity or an astonishing look-alike. As these celebrity jesters continue to deny their true identities, various reactions from their customers solicit exasperated and hilarious responses.”

And by “hilarious”, they mean “your grandmother is really going to laugh her ass off.”

In one clip, currently only available on ET’s website, a customer walks into a dry cleaner shop where Rachael is pretending to work the front desk. When the customer tells her she looks just like Rachael Ray, she says, “I know, I get that a lot! Personally, I think she’s a little bit chipper for me. I don’t want to be that chipper that early in the day. And, then, with the made up words and all that, people keep saying all these letters to me, ‘O-V-E,’ and ‘E-O-O’ and I don’t really care! What’s the abbreviation for that? I don’t wanna look like her, I didn’t ask to look like her, do you think I’d be in the dry cleaner if I looked like her?”

And in yet another clip, Rachael fails to convince a mother and her teenage daughter that she’s not really Rachael Ray:
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Other celebrity pranksters will include Snoop Dogg, Paris Hilton, and Julie Chen.  The episode airs on CBS tonight at 8, but I won’t be watching. Something tells me that if you’ve seen one clip, you’ve seen ‘em all.

“Grab a couple handfuls of marshmallows… about the size of my A-cups!” Best line ever.

Back in January, news broke that a New York-based artist named Alex Gardega was going to be painting a nude portrait of Rachael Ray. Here we are in December, and I’m excited to let you all know that Alex made good on his promise, completed the painting, and put it up for sale on eBay. Just in time for Christmas!

I’m not sure there are any words I could write here that could possibly prepare you for what you’re about to see, so I’m just going to post the pictures and let you draw your own conclusions:

According to the artist, the painting depicts “a beautiful and calm setting in which the media icon floats on the river Evoo and is bathed and anointed buy the classical Putti of wisdom and beauty.” Wow. How eloquent. And here I thought it was just an artist’s rendering of Rachael Ray giving herself a breast exam, but apparently it’s so much more.

Bidding starts at $50, but you can buy it now for $5,000 and spend the rest of your life staring at Rachael’s naughty bits – and the creepy bearded man in the lower corner.