Welcome to day 3 of Twitter Week on FNH… the time of year when we post what random people are saying about Food Network chefs on Twitter! And so, without further ado, here are our 10 favorite recent tweets about Rachael Ray:

Rachael Ray makes a lot of expressive faces. As such, it can be difficult – if not impossible – for the novice Food Network watcher to know just what she’s trying to convey with each carefully contrived facial contortion. So, we decided to create this handy little Rachael Ray emotion chart to help you all out in a pinch. Whip it out and refer to it as necessary. Happy Food Networking!

Rachael Ray is known for GETTIN’ A LITTLE CRAZY with the English language. Sometimes, she’ll cleverly use only the first letter of a word (like EVOO for “extra virgin olive oil” or BYOB for “bring your own bacon”), while other times, she’ll just take two normal words and blend them together to create one asinine word (like stoup, which is, of course, thicker than a soup but thinner than a stew.)

For a while there, Rach had just been using the same old annoying catchphrases. Delish. Yum-O. Sammie. Nothing new had come out of the frightening culinary wasteland that is her mind. That is, UNTIL THIS WEEKEND.

That’s right. You see, Rachael finally unleashed a new word on our nation: CHOUP. What’s that, you ask?

Wow! Thanks, Rachael! Having to say “THICK SOUP” for all these years was really starting to take its toll on me. Hallelujah! I’m free!

Since Rachael is clearly having a hard time coming up with new words, I thought I’d help her out by coming up with a few new catchphrases for her to use about her Food Network co-hosts:

Used in a sentence: My mother bought me the ugliest SHENT for my birthday!

Used in a sentence: I got totally sandrunk after work last night.

Used in a sentence: Don’t stay on that treadmill for too long, or you’ll start looking skaltoned.

Oh yes. We’ve talked about bad deals here on Food Network Humor before.

First, there was Tyler Florence’s hideously overpriced lasagna dish.

Then, there was Ina Garten’s $33 hot chocolate mix (but it came with a spatula!)

And now, a crazy eBay seller is trying to pawn off a used copy of this month’s issue of Rachael Ray magazine for a Buy It Now price of $1.00 plus $4.99 shipping! Ay Dios mio! The cover price is only $3.99 and it’s still available at local stores. Buyer beware, ’cause THAT’S a bad deal.

(Speaking of bad things, I actually saw this cover at Wal-Mart last night and was sort of horrified by her face on it. Can’t a mediocre home cook appear on a magazine cover without being Photoshopped to high hell anymore? IS NOTHING SACRED! And is she Botoxing, or is there some invisible tape holding her eyebrows and cheekbones in those unnatural positions?!)

(Thanks for the tip, Alex!)

Last week, Rachael Ray hosted the Seven Daughters soundcheck at the South Beach Wine and Food Festival. For some ungodly reason, her husband’s band performed at the event. It appears that John’s music caused Rachael to clumsily seize and shake and thrust her pelvis in ways no mortals should ever have had to witness. Luckily, someone shot video of the event – and thanks to the internet – as many of us can be traumatized as possible.

I’m warning you: this video is not easy to watch. Few things in life are more painful to witness than the sight of Rachael Ray slithering around like a rejected Bunny Ranch employee while mouthing the chorus to an awful John Mayer song as its being bastardized by her husband.

Other than that, enjoy!