Archives for "Rachael Ray"

Okay, fine. To be fair, this “recipe” was “written” by someone named Abigail Chipley… but it’s all over Rachael Ray’s website so she’s clearly stupid enough to endorse it. And might I say, thank god. You don’t even want to know the methods I had previously been using to give my butter a brown appearance.

Next week’s follow-up recipe to brown butter: RED WATER! (spoiler alert: it involves food coloring! Stay tuned!)

[Thanks for submitting this, Nicki!]

Yahoo Sports blog “The Post Game” recently compiled a list of the Top 10 Worst Celebrity Tippers. The list was comprised of offenders like Tiger Woods, Bill Cosby, Mariah Carey, Usher, and Food Network’s own Rachael Ray.

Congratulations on the dubious distinction, Ray-Ray. Here’s to hoping your years of stiffing hard-working waitstaff on $40 a Day haunts you for years to come.

Rachael Ray’s a busy lady.

With all the shows she hosts, it’s amazing she finds any time at all to relax or to think up new color patterns for her line of garbage bowls. All that running around has clearly taken its toll on 30 Minute Meals, because girlfriend is just phoning every appearance in on that show now. Her enthusiasm is seemingly gone, and she usually comes across as a lifeless zombie just going through the motions she’s gone through so many times before. Her fake and annoying over-the-top energy is gone, but so is any semblance of a memorable show. Poor Ray-Ray. She just can’t win.

Another thing that just can’t win? This HIDEOUS PHONED IN RAY-RAY CREATION, as submitted to us by FNH reader Marian. Take it away, Marian:

Hey Jillian,

I was watching 30 Minute Meals and couldn’t stop laughing at Rachael’s “Egg Layer Cake” and her bread thing that looked like a giant bagel.

The egg cake was composed of three huge omelets stacked on top of each other with ricotta cheese filling between each omelet. I think I heard her say it could feed four people but I’m pretty sure that thing could feed an entire village for a week.

The giant bagel just made the whole scene all the more humorous as it sat there next to the egg cake. Definitely one of the weirdest 30 Minute Meals end scenes I’ve ever seen.

I attached some photos of the egg cake, giant bagel, and a wide shot of Rachael rubbing the giant bagel with a tomato.

Pro tip: Leave that giant egg bagel thing out on your counter and let it harden for a few days. Makes a great frisbee… or a spare tire if you’re really in a pinch.

Things I learned today: you have to use caution when you pause your TV or you may wind up with a freeze-framed image that will haunt you for life. Here’s Ray-Ray, pictured mere moments  before trying to suck the soul out of her cameraman’s body:

You’re at a 9, Ray-Ray. We need you at a 3.

[submitted by Andie]

If you just arrived here on Earth from planet clueless and need directions on how to make and serve a complicated root beer float, don’t worry! Rachael Ray has your back with this very special recipe for her “most favorite” fountain drink:

Why does this recipe exist? Are there really people out there who don’t know what a root beer float is? And do they need 7 sentences of direction to make it?

This may sound harsh, but if you need RACHAEL RAY to tell you how to mix root beer and vanilla ice cream in a glass – and that you should to serve it with a straw and/or spoon – you should probably just do the world a favor and drive your car off the next cliff you see.

One Food Network review from 2006 summed this ridiculous recipe up quite nicely:

This is the most creative recipe. I couldn’t find root beer at my regular old grocery store, so I just used regular beer, and I don’t like ice cream, so I left it out. It was really refreshing and delish.”-srseeker

Seeker, you are a person after my own heart. YUM-O!

[thanks for the tip, Amber!]