Archives for "Rachael Ray"

Rachael Ray could fill an entire website with the ridiculous “recipes” she comes up with. We’ve already talked about her “pineapple wedges” and “ham steaks“, and who could forget her life-altering late night bacon? This week, we’re introducing you to another culinary masterpiece that is her Angel Food Cake with Berries “recipe”:

Want to make this “recipe” at home? Just go to the grocery store, buy a bunch of crap, throw it on top of each other, and you’re done! Wow. At least Sandra Lee’s crap is Semi-Homemade; this is 100% store-bought! She didn’t even take the time to embellish the whipped cream with vanilla extract! The horror!

Rachael Ray has as great gig, telling people how to eat their grocery store purchases and then sitting back while the money rolls in. Where do I sign up? I have a lot of great “recipes” as well. My favorite recipe is the one where I go to Shake Shack in NYC and order a burger and milkshake and then walk it to the table and eat it. Now where’s my royalty check?

[thanks to everyone who sent this "recipe" in!]

Looking for something special to cook for Easter this year? Then pay attention, because Rachael Ray’s HAM STEAK “RECIPE” is about to rock your world!

I don’t know about you guys, but my life has been forever changed with the knowledge that I can heat my ham steak up in a skillet! Yay!!! That means no more fumbling with lighters, or exposing myself to dangerous radiation whilst trying to harness the power of the sun!

Seriously though, we’ve been doing ridiculous Food Network recipe for a few months now, and this is one of the stupidest ones I’ve seen. It’s not a recipe, it’s a method of heating!. She might as well have said “put it on a paper towel and throw it in the microwave.”

There are already a few funny reviews – which are often funnier than the “recipes” themselves – on the Food Network’s website:

“Do not, I repeat do not cut the ham steaks in half. This could cause them to release some of the delicious juices. Also, just use olive oil instead of EVOO. The whole virgin thing is over rated. Rachel Ray should build a restaurant empire around her ham steak recipe.” -cjwineguy

“Rach has done it again, elevating the lowly pig to soar with such simplicity and elegance. Who would think that ham fried in olive oil could be this good? Dare we call this a mere recipe when it is more a philosophical statement worthy of serious debate about our Rachel’s place in the halls of gastronomy?” -steveprice

“This is an insult to even call this a recipe. And it is a waste of good EVOO. RR, I hope you served something better than this on Easter!” -cacuozzo

Fingers crossed that Rachael will come up for a recipe for ice water next. This whole “traveling back and forth to the North Pole every time I’m thirsty” thing is getting expensive.

(Thanks for the tip, Rachael!)