Archives for "Sandra Lee"

(Click here for the official FNH definition of SANDRUNK!)

“This is beautiful butt juice. It’s gonna taste like Mario was in your ass himself!”

On a recent rerun  of Semi-Homemade (subtitled: SEMI OUT OF HER FREAKING MIND), Sandra Lee created a “Denim & Diamonds” tablescape that will definitely go down in history as one of the most hideous things she’s ever done.

First, she hung a chandelier that was clearly made out of sequins from one of Dolly Parton’s old dresses. She then covered the table with cheap, smelly denim fabric and left the edges unhemmed to achieve that authentic, hillbilly look.

Next, she threw more tacky sequin strips all over the table. She then used replicas of J-Lo’s wedding ring as napkin holders.

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Hello, jaw. Meet floor. You’re about to watch Sandra Lee cook with JARS OF BABY FOOD.

Sometimes, I have no words. This is one of those times.

“It’s gonna taste like you baked it from scratch!”

Um, not really. It’s gonna taste like my 8-month old cousin spit it up on my shoulder.

(Thanks for the tip, Mike!)