Archives for "Sandra Lee"
Sandra Lee »
This is an oldie but a goodie that you’re ruhhhhlly gunna love. It’s super super stupid and it’s super super funny.
Sandra Lee »
[note: yes, this is a real product!]
Are you unable to master the fine art of Semi-HOmade cooking because your parents won’t let you near their stash of vanilla vodka? Then stop eating that Play-Doh and listen up! You too can now get in on the fun with Sandra Lee’s activity book, “Semi Homemade: Cool Kids Cooking!”
Each chapter is filled with lively illustrations that will make you want to trade in your Nintendo Wii-Mote for a santoku knife with dulled safety edges. With Sandra’s guidance, you’ll learn to focus on preservatives and butcher basic recipes – with nothing made from scratch!
GIVE US A BREAK. Cool Kids Cooking? It’s more like Pre-Diabetic kids cooking. Who designed that cover, Willy Wonka?
This book is nothing but a collection of Sandra Lee’s demented, unhealthy food experiments with some badly drawn cartoons thrown in for good measure. Don’t be fooled into thinking it will teach your kids to enjoy cooking, because it will do just the opposite. By focusing on shortcuts, your kids will walk away with the message that cooking is much like watching old Baywatch reruns: a dreaded, miserable experience that should be minimized and expedited as much as possible.
BOTTOM LINE: Sandra Lee is telling kids it’s cool to cook with pre-processed foods that are high in sodium and fat, all in the name of making a quick buck. And that’s not funny… it’s just pathetic.
Sandra Lee »
Sandra Lee will showcase her alma mater, the University of Wisconsin La Crosse, on this weekend’s new episode of Semi-Homemade. Sandra will be making some wunderfullllll wunderfullllll homecoming tailgate recipes, including a buttery and deeeelishus Buffalo Chicken Pizza, a finnntastic Chipotle Java Rubbed Tenderloin, a pretty pretty pretty Chocolate Coconut Almond Cake, and a fabbbulous Homecoming Punch called Swamp Water that you’re gunnnna love.
Sandra said, “This visit is long overdue. I have some great memories of this place.” Yeah. We bet those “great memories” involve 30% schoolwork and 70% making out with her best friend’s boyfriend under the bleachers.
The show was taped in the fall of 2007. It’s now January, 2009. That means it took the Food Network 16 MONTHS to edit Sandra Lee’s ramblings into a Semi-Watchable episode of Semi-Homemade.
And that’s just semi-pathetic.
General: Food Network, Sandra Lee »
Here’s what we thought:
1) “I bought this cake at Carvel and topped it with some Cool Whip that I put food coloring in!”
2) “I’m Sandra Lee, and welcome to my new show SEMI-HUMAN. This week, we’ll be cookin—” System meltdown. Shutting down. Malfunction!
3) “I knew I shouldn’t have Semi-Stolen one of Aaron McCargo’s recipes – this tastes revolting.”
Can you do better? Add your captions in the comments.