Breaking (and completely hysterical) news: a prankster stole one of the forks from the front of Tyler Florence’s Mill Valley, California store! Tyler let the world know about the incident via a Twitter message earlier thisevening.
It seems we have a real whodunit on our hands, guys. At this hour, one haunting question remains: WHERE THE HELL IS THE FORK?
Last week, I put Tyler Florence on blast for confusing the words PATIENCE and PATIENTS. I’m proud to announce that since then, Tyler has learned how to distinguish between the two words, and how to properly thank people for their PATIENCE:
Way to be able to laugh at yourself, T-Flo! Two thumbs way up for having a sense of humor about it!
New from the Twitterverse: Chef Tyler Florence will soon be launching a “Twitter cooking school.”
(We don’t have a clue what that means either, but as soon as we figure it out we’ll let you know.)
Tyler just sent out the following message, thanking everyone for their “patients” while he worked out the details. Patients? Is he launching the cooking school from his local hospital?
That’s “off the chain” embarrassing. Maybe he should be launching a Twitter spelling school instead?
A few weeks ago, we wrote a long rant about the cheesy music that plays automatically when you visit Tyler Florence’s new website. Since then, the man has come to his senses, listened to his fans, and turned off the auto-start feature. Hallelujah.
(Now if he’d only fix those blurry fonts and remove that splash intro from 1982, he’d be in good shape!)
In honor of Tyler’s complete inability to handle any constructive criticism regarding his lame new website, feast your eyes on our ridiculous Food Network Product Of The Month: this ugly $80 “Baroque” lasagna dish by Tyler Florence. That’s “Baroque” – pronounced “B’ROKE” in honor of what you’ll be after you purchase it. EIGHTY DOLLARS! For a dish! And guess what? All profits go towards helping Tyler’s out of control ego grow even larger.
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Bizarre Foods host Andrew Zimmern thinks Tyler Florence the “world’s least talented TV chef.” Zimmern slammed Florence on his blog after seeing his recent appearance on the NBC show Momma’s Boys:
Monday’s episode [of Momma’s Boys) featured the worlds least talented TV chef, Tyler Florence, once again churning out the questionable cooking advice and the leading the ladies through a menu of the Moms fave recipes. Watching Florence wolf down the food, stare and ogle every ass that strolled by his cutting board and play the role of local TV stud was high comedy of the highest order.
-Andrew Zimmern
Tyler Florence quickly posted a reply to Zimmern on his Facebook blog:
Hi Guys, good morning and Happy New Year. Normally I have pretty thick skin when it comes to blogs and what people think. It is a free country after all, But this guy Andrew Zimmern, the guy who eats dried camel cock for a living, has decided to dis my life’s work because I did, my personal friend, Ryan Seacrest, a favor and helped him out with his first big television production, “Momma’s Boy’s” It was a big hit for NBC and something I had a fun time doing. It’s bubble gum reality, who cares. It was funny. I guess it hard to have a since of humor when you’re on your 10th take of eating Yak testicles, smiling to the camera, wondering where your life went wrong……… mmmmm, Delicious!
-Tyler Florence
Regardless of whose side you’re on, one thing is undeniable: Tyler Florence has an unhealthy obsession with the comma. Good luck duking it out, boys.
LISTEN TO THE LATEST PODCAST: Episode 11
THIS WEEK: Ina Garten's "beginner" recipes, new Food Network shows starting in September, thumbing through an issue of Semi-Homemade magazine, Rachael Ray's daytime talk show, Aarti's "accountability group", Claire Robinson on Big Daddy's House, another sensual reading of Alex Guarnaschelli's tweets, sink or swim voicemail, and much more.
