(Take a glimpse into my inbox box with this collection of actual e-mails I’ve received over the past few weeks. Some are informative, some are funny, and some are just plain crazy. As usual, my responses are in red. Enjoy!)
1. Aimee wrote in to let us know about a disturbing new trend: Sandra Lee is now invading the radio.
No place is safe now, it seems. I was driving in my car on the way to work at 2:30 PM this afternoon (you go into work at 2:30 pm? Can I have your job? Please?) and heard a commercial on the radio of Sandra Lee telling me to enjoy (responsibly) a cocktail with Smirnoff vodka! Better yet, it wasn’t just vodka, it was their new pre-made cocktails. (Pre-made cocktails? You mean people over the age of 17 drink those?) As we all know, Sandra is about making her cocktails asap! I recommend bringing your mp3 player in the car just to be safe. (Girl, please. I never leave home without my ipod. But thanks for the heads up!)
2. Thankfully, Nancy wrote in with the 911 on Rachael Ray’s eyebrows:
Love your site and have been an avid reader for only about two months. I was on a Xanax when I saw this yesterday but honestly I watched the rest of the show to make sure I wasn’t seeing things. On the 30 Minute show called ‘Pocket Change’ Rachael Ray’s eyebrows were out of alignment. Her left one was way overdone, penciled a dark brown almost Divine-like shape, and her right one was normal color, normal sized. Creep-show! (Thank you, Nancy, for that drug-induced interpretation of Rachael Ray’s left brow. I’m almost afraid to ask what you saw when you tuned into Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives.)
3. Ryan wrote in with a hilarious story about his experience at a Paula Deen book signing on Long Island:
The event was last night, and was one of the worst events I’ve attended. I got to the bookstore 90 minutes early, only to discover the store crawling with overweight seniors. There was literally a section for Jazzy scooters to line up. (I believe the term I’m looking for here is “LMFAO.”) I asked one of the workers for a basic summary of the event. Paula would be speaking for “20 or 30 minutes” and then leaving. No pictures, no Q&A as advertised. And her “pre-signed” books were not hand signed by her, they came pre-printed with her signature on the first page. It’s amazing how many people would spent $30 for a cookbook on how to make crappy lunches. Keep up the great site! (Mental note: bring Jazzy scooter to next Paula Deen book signing event…)
4. Marlon is a Top Chef fan:
I just want to say that somehow I came across your website, and I find it soooo damn funny! I like watching the Food Network, but your site usually makes my day even better. Anyways, I noticed you have comments on the Top Chef Las Vegas sometimes. That one douche Michael looks so much like the donkey from Shrek, I would just love if you did something with that. Keep up the good work! (It’s the teeth, Marlon. See exhibit A below.)

5. Snoopy wrote us after watching an episode of Secrets Of A Restaurant Chef:
I caught an episode of Anne Burrell cooking on her show, she was making chicken pot pie. I will never watch again and would never dream of going to her restaurant. She used the same spoon no less then 3 times to taste the dish she was making. It was disgusting to watch. That type of mistake should have been caught by the director, who obviously does not know what they are doing. (Secret ingredient: SALIVA!)
6. Denis wrote in after watching an episode of The Naughty Chef:
Why is the oxygen channel bringing this abomination to the world?! The star “CHEF” whatever her name is (Her real name is Blythe Beck, but her Indian name is Dances With Blazing Pink Chefs Jacket) looks like she ate everything in her pantry plus she has an annoying loud mouth attitude… I’ve lost all hope for the culinary world. (The show is horrid! As in, “worse than Ten Dollar Dinners” horrid.)
7. Mike wanted to let us all know what an idiot Robert Irvine is:
Robert Irvine, on the episode of “Dinner: Impossible”, in which he fails a mission at spoiled brat Dylan Lauren’s Candy shop, WRITES the words “Expresso beans” on his menu board, and pronounces it (along with a sous chef) incorrectly several times. Talk about pathetic! I don’t have access to the clip online, but I had to vent to someone. It’s espresso, people! The man’s allegedly a “world famous” chef?
8. Chris knows more about late-night infomercials than we do:
tell me you’ve heard of robin miller doing a informercial for a magic bullet style product called the ~ninja~. (The ninja? Does it come with nunchucks? If not, I’m not interested.) figured i’d let u know, just in case u catch it. (That was very thoughtful of you, Chris.)
9. Michelle noticed something funny while watching Ace Of Cakes:
You know you’re reeeeaaaallly sick when you leave Ace of Cakes on because you don’t have the energy to go get the remote that you left across the room. (Wow, she must be really sick. Somebody send this woman a fondant-free Edible Arrangement ASAP). With that in mind, am I the only one who noticed that yesterday on AoC, two of the sponsors were constipation meds? Guess that’s what happens when you eat too much “gummy paste”. (HI-LAR-IOUS)
10. And finally, Lizz was wondering if anyone would be interested in a butt massage from Paula Deen:
