This is an oldie but a goodie that you’re ruhhhhlly gunna love. It’s super super stupid and it’s super super funny.
WHAT DOES THIS NUMBER REPRESENT? Is it…
a) The minimum number of buttons Giada leaves undone
b) Age at which Duff Goldman went bald
c) Number of Netflix pop-ups per visit to the Food Network website
d) Days in a week, according to the Beatles
e) Percentage of a Food Network Challenge cake that is actually edible
f) Brain cells lost per second spent watching Big Daddy’s House
g) Times per day Mary Alice’s friends ask, “have you called Jenny yet?”
h) Toxic ingredients in Rachael Ray’s dog food
i) Guy Fieri’s emotional age
j) Number of A’s in Paula Deen’s pronunciation of “mayonnaaaaaaaaise”
[8 is also the number of long years Rachael Ray has been on The Food Network]
You Know You’re In A Recession When… Paula Deen starts putting raisins on her brownies instead of imported walnuts
You Know You’re In A Recession When… Producers make Rachael Ray rename her show $37.50 A Day
You Know You’re In A Recession When… Aaron McCargo is forced to sell his gold earring and replace it with a free keyring
You Know You’re In A Recession When… People start asking Aida about money markets
You Know You’re In A Recession When… The Iron Chef America kitchen only stocks leftovers from Bobby Flay’s restaurant
You Know You’re In A Recession When… Ina Garten starts buying eye round roast instead of filet
You Know You’re In A Recession When… Guy Fieri trades in his Oakleys for a pair of discounted Panama Jack’s
You Know You’re In A Recession When… Adam Gertler is working for food, room, and board
You Know You’re In A Recession When… Alton Brown starts developing a show called “Feasting On Dumpsters”
You Know You’re In A Recession When… There’s actually room to eat on a Sandra Lee tablescape
[note: yes, this is a real product!]
Are you unable to master the fine art of Semi-HOmade cooking because your parents won’t let you near their stash of vanilla vodka? Then stop eating that Play-Doh and listen up! You too can now get in on the fun with Sandra Lee’s activity book, “Semi Homemade: Cool Kids Cooking!”
Each chapter is filled with lively illustrations that will make you want to trade in your Nintendo Wii-Mote for a santoku knife with dulled safety edges. With Sandra’s guidance, you’ll learn to focus on preservatives and butcher basic recipes – with nothing made from scratch!
GIVE US A BREAK. Cool Kids Cooking? It’s more like Pre-Diabetic kids cooking. Who designed that cover, Willy Wonka?
This book is nothing but a collection of Sandra Lee’s demented, unhealthy food experiments with some badly drawn cartoons thrown in for good measure. Don’t be fooled into thinking it will teach your kids to enjoy cooking, because it will do just the opposite. By focusing on shortcuts, your kids will walk away with the message that cooking is much like watching old Baywatch reruns: a dreaded, miserable experience that should be minimized and expedited as much as possible.
BOTTOM LINE: Sandra Lee is telling kids it’s cool to cook with pre-processed foods that are high in sodium and fat, all in the name of making a quick buck. And that’s not funny… it’s just pathetic.