An FNH reader named Carlos recently watched The Rainmaker, the 1997 John Grisham movie starring Matt Damon, and noticed a familiar face in the crowd during a bar scene:
It’s totally Claire Robinson! And she’s pretending to be more attracted to the middle-aged douchebag with the receding hairline than Matt Damon. Now that, my friends, is some mighty fine acting.
Claire’s not the only Food Network host to have appeared as an extra in a major feature film. Oh no. Take a look at a few other celebrity chef walk-on roles you might have missed:
“drunk #57″ in Cocktail
“moron with ugly broken car” in Dumb & Dumber
“”swimmer bear” in The Karate Kid
“dweeb on Vespa” in Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure
“overly enthusiastic drummer” in Back To The Future
“annoying friend who showed up uninvited” in The Goonies
“mean Cobra Kai bully #22″ in The Karate Kid
“evil monster #88″ in Zombieland
“crazy sauce lady on float” in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off
INA GARTEN + MAN IN TIGHT JEANS
“snobby woman in all black in the middle of the summer” in Weekend At Bernies
If you use Google, chances are you know about Auto-Suggest. When you type a few letters into the search box, Google guesses what you’re searching for and offers suggestions in real time. The suggestions are based on the overall popularity of various searches.
So basically, Google Suggest offers hilarious insight as to what the majority of people are searching for on Google.
Here are a few Google Auto-Suggestions for our favorite Food Network chefs. And yes, they’re 100% real. You can head on over to Google.com and see them for yourselves. There are some scary people out there. Enjoy!
New Rule: If Brian Boitano wants people to stop speculating about his sexuality, he has to stop throwing “sausage shindigs” for “secret societies.” Newsflash, Boitano: people aren’t going to strictly focus on the food when you’re dropping homoerotic double entendres like salcows every 15 seconds. If you don’t want sexuality to be an issue, perhaps in the future you should leave out the jokes about spreading your “secret sauce” all over the food you’re preparing for those sweaty 300-pound scooter fanatics in head-to-toe leather.
New Rule: Enough with the stupid pop-up ads in the bottom corner! They take up half the screen, and they are obnoxious. I enjoy Claire Robinson as much as the next girl, but I don’t need to be reminded EVERY 45 SECONDS that her show is coming on 3 hours from now. At the very least, use another photo of poor Claire. The vest + the pose = Paula Poundstone circa 1995.
New Rule: Stop showing me how to make alcoholic beverages! These days, everyone from Guy Fieri to Sunny Anderson is whipping out the vodka bottle and making a “cocktail.” Newsflash, Food Network chefs: it was fucking retarded when Sandra Lee did it, and it’s fucking retarded now. Stop it.
New Rule: Leave the husbands at home! It’s bad enough a channel named THE FOOD NETWORK has an entire show devoted to airing Rachael Ray’s boring travel videos, but John Cusimano’s presence makes it even worse. I’m sure he’s a lovely man, but Earth to the Food Network: HE’S NOT FAMOUS! HE’S NOT A CHEF! AND NO ONE WANTS TO SEE HIM! Does Oprah bring Stedman everywhere she goes? No! She just throws his name around every once and awhile so people won’t think she’s sleeping with Gayle King. Learn from the master, Rachael. Learn from the master.
Discount tag placement for the win!
(Thanks for the link, Kristen! via Failblog)
“This is beautiful butt juice. It’s gonna taste like Mario was in your ass himself!”