[note: this was originally posted here on FNH on 10/17/10, reposted because the episode just aired again this weekend.]

If you missed today’s episode of Guy’s Big Bite, you missed a doozy of a show. Aarti joined him in the kitchen, and let’s just say SHIT GOT AWKWARD.

First, they opened the show by pretending they were playing BUMPER POOL. I know. Totally ridiculous. Try to contain your laughter.

Then, as the show progressed, Aarti started making these insulting, condescending comments about Guy Fieri… comments which left him dumbfounded and completely unable to respond. Here’s a breakdown of the hilarity:

1) Guy Fieri said he had to “debling” before sticking his hands into a bowl of dough. Aarti rolled her eyes, laughed, and said, “you’re girlier than I am.”

AARTI: 1. GUY FIERI: 0.

2) Guy asked Aarti to chop something, but she had no room to work because his crap was all over the counter. She said, “You’re not used to having friends? (awkward pause)… on your show?”

AARTI: 2. GUY FIERI: 0.

3) Guy asked Aarti to grab hot sauce out of the fridge. He said it was on the top shelf, in a jar with a dude on the label who looked like him. Aarti grabbed the bottle and said, “You’re right. It does look like you. With a big mouth.”

AARTI: 3. GUY FIERI: 0.

So what have we learned? Aarti is probably the most socially awkward person on the Food Network. That, AND SHE GIGGLES NONSTOP. I took the liberty of compiling a video of every one of her giggles during the show (along with the hilarious moments mentioned above). Everyone sitting in the room with me actually GOT UP AND LEFT THE ROOM because her giggle was so obnoxious to hear. It was a labor of love, guys, so please enjoy.

Ever wish you could score some of Guy Fieri’s meat? Well now you can! Costco is selling 14 pounds of Fieri-meat for the low, low price of $140. For those of you who aren’t mathematically inclined, that’s $10 per pound – which makes it far more expensive than good quality meat cuts I could pick up from my local butcher. What a bargain!

The line is being sold under the “Guy Fieri Flavortown Foods” brand so that you (and I quote) “can cook like a chef for yourself, your family, and friends.”

Costco states that the flavors are “off the hook.” And thankfully, the meat is also “ready to cook.” You know, as opposed to all of those grocery store carcasses that you have to de-skin and de-feather before throwing on the grill.

Internet commenters and Fieri haters are having a field day with this news. Here are my 5 favorite comments from the TV website Warming Glow:

5. The meat can be found right next to the over-sized tub of hair gel and Valtrex. -Alcoholics Gratuitous

4. Guy Fieri is a 40-some-odd-year-old man who talks and dresses the way elderly people think teenagers -Danger Guerrero

3. I could only hate him more if he married a Kardashian.. -Burnsy

2. Won’t someone please think of the children and cut the brake lines of his giant yellow douche truck? -Chris

1. By my calculations, that’s about $90 of meat, and $50 of Guy Fieri laughing at you. Anyone who buys this should be mercy killed. -Brutus