Come, my dear children, and kneel at the heels of your rich Italian grandparents, for we now bestow upon you the Ten Commandments of Giada De Laurentiis.
I. Thou shalt always… (always)… zest at least one lemon for every recipe.
II. Thou shalt always have thy’s nails perfectly manicured in light pink Opi nail polish.
III. Thou shalt describe every piece of food as being “nice and crispy on the outside and soft and chewy on the inside.”
IV. Thou shalt always annoyingly overemphasize Italian words.
V. Thou shalt reveal thy bosom in low cut, tight shirts as oft as possible (thou shalt always be mindful of television ratings).
VI. Thou shalt retract thy’s lips and expose thy’s unnaturally large teeth as oft as possible.
VII. Thou shalt roll thy’s eyes at the camera whenever Aunt Raffi isn’t looking.
VIII. Thou shalt constantly use the word “perfect” to fill uncomfortable silences on episodes of Giada At Home.
IX. Thou shalt always over-exaggerate the amount of fun thy is really having at thy’s outdoor dinner parties.
X. Thou shalt never actually swallow thy’s prepared meals.
(Be sure to add your Giada Commandments in the comments section!)
(Thanks for the tip, CineGrappler!)
I didn’t watch this week’s Vermont Brownie Company episode of Throwdown With Bobby Flay, but luckily, FNH reader Paul did. During the plated shots of the entries at the end, the Vermont Brownie Company’s was on screen and Paul’s wife noticed what seemed to be A HAIR sticking out of the side of their brownie:
There’s really only one word that’s appropriate here, and that word is: Ewwwwwwwwwwwww. I don’t like my brownies to come with built-in floss, but thanks.
If that really IS a hair, it’s awfully wiry looking. That only amplifies my concern over where it might have originated. Finding a head hair in your food is gross enough, but encountering someone else’s pube on your plate is an entirely different dimension of horrifying.
(Thanks for the pics, Paul!)
I finally got around to watching this weekend’s episode of The Best Thing I Ever Ate (aka: a creative way for the Food Network hosts to promote restaurants that are probably owned by their friends/family). The subject was snack foods, and guess what groundbreaking stuff we learned? Anne Burrell loves nachos, Ted Allen loves pickles, and Giada loves HOT NUTS.
Seriously. She loves HOT NUTS so much, she gobbles them all up. She can’t stop herself from cramming all the the HOT NUTS down her throat. Luckily for us, she even demonstrated how she eats HOT NUTS:
Roll the video clip!
Giada, if eating HOT NUTS was an Olympic sport, you’d take home the gold medal for sure.