Posted by Jillian Madison on 27th December 2008

The Hosts

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AARON MCCARGO JR
Winner of the Next Food Network Star and host of Big Daddy’s House. Likes: oversized gold hoop earrings and the taste of hospital food. Dislikes proper pronunciation and basic grammar.
ADAM GERTLER
Known to most as “The Guy Who Should Have Won Next Food Network Star.”  He lost to Aaron McCargo, but what the hell! Let’s give him a show anyway! “Will Work For Food” premieres in January 09.
AIDA MOLLENKAMP
If you need answers to the most basic, obvious questions (“Can I zest an orange?”)… ASK AIDA.
ALTON BROWN
The smartest man on the Food Network. Says “UHH” a lot. Can cook a 25-lb turkey using only candles and old mirrors.
BOBBY FLAY
Hot tempered host of “Throwdown With Bobby Flay,” “Grill It! With Bobby Flay,” and 92 other virtually identical shows with “Bobby Flay” in the title. One of those guys who must be referred to with his first AND last name. Try just calling him “Bobby.” It’s like trying to eat just one Lays potato chip: you can’t.
DUFF GOLDMAN
Host of “Ace Of Cakes.” Rarely seen actually doing any work. Has only one laugh, and Food Network plays it loudly whenever possible.
GIADA DE LAURENTIIS
If her grandparents weren’t famous, Giada probably would have ended up working as a Hooters girl or a sorority house mother. Makes the same three recipes every episode. Overannunciates every word.  No one needs to smile that much while mincing garlic, especially if you have a freakishly large animal mouth.
GUY FIERI
Wears sunglasses on the back of his head 24/7 and thinks it makes him look cool. Can only eat at “Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives” because more upscale restaurants would mistake him for the dishwasher.
INA GARTEN
Always throwing parties so she can buy more friends in the Hamptons. Has a huge collection of oversized denim shirts. Husband Jeffrey never grows tired of playing second fiddle to her zucchini garden.
THE NEELYS
These two need to get a room. I’m here to watch a cooking show – not see how many sexual innuendos they can make up about cucumbers.
PAULA DEEN
Her kitchen costs more than your house. She’s rumored to occasionally wear a wig made entirely of butter, y’all.
RACHAEL RAY
Once sang karaoke alone in Hawaii on $40 a day and was ignored by the crowd – and that says more than we ever could.
SANDRA LEE
Two words: HIDEOUS TABLESCAPES. Her heart pumps 70% ice cold Russian vodka and 30% blood – thus rendering her SEMI-HUMAN.  Unable to restrain herself from adding extract to store-bought frosting.
TYLER FLORENCE
Tyler says “off the charts” more often than Madonna’s topped them. We once counted 5,235 “off the charts” in one episode. Andrew Zimmern thinks he’s the “least talented chef” on TV.

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    863 Responses

  1. Marc says:

    Excellent website! I love it. Sandra Lee is definitely part vanilla ‘Aiiiiigstract.”

    • Adam Charp says:

      Sandra Lee: Notice whenever a word has an “L” in it, whether the L is the first letter or any other letter in the word, Sandra Lee streeeetches the L sound out. It’s so incredibly obnoxious. “You’re just going to lllllllllove these.” “And just pllllllllace them on the plate like this.” “They’ll hold up a llllllllong time in the freezer.” Listen for it. You’ll want to shoot her after you hear it a few times. Also, what’s with the tablescapes? The premise of her show, “semi homemade” is to be quick cooking for busy working people. So busy working people are going to stop at the crafts store to make these gaudy, ridiculous tablescapes? Hmmmm, ok.

      Ina Garten: “It’s got great flavor.” Can she say this any more often and any more boringly?

      Bobby Flay: This guy actually seems pretty down to earth to me, believe it or not. I know some people think he’s arrogant or cocky, but I don’t get that at all from him.

      Rachel Ray: Speak to us like you’re speaking to a classroom of kindergartners! However, she comes off in a pretty genuine way, as opposed to Giada…

      Giada: Pretentious, self-conscious/camera-conscious little snob. You can just so easily picture how her whole demeanor changes from happy and sweet to B_ _ _ _ whenever the camera ISN’T rolling.

      Sunny Anderson: Is she getting fatter and fatter?

      Alton Brown: Yeah, right, ok, he’s smart. But is his campy demeanor annoying to ANYONE else after all these years??? The first couple years was fine. But after all this time? Come on, people.

      Emeril: Is it just me, or does this guy butcher the English language almost every time he speaks (kind of like President Bush). “We’re going to begin to start to render the bacon…” Really, Emeril? “Begin to start?”

      The Neelys: Yes, they need to get a room. But they seem genuine and pretty cool.

      Michael Chiarello: Is he gay? Not that there’s anything wrong with it, but what’s the deal? He seems so gay, yet wears a wedding ring.

      Anne Burrel: She has her charms.

      Guy Fieri: His lingo is pretty stupid, but he has his charms.

      Alexandra Guarnaschelli: Can’t stand her, but can’t quite put my finger on the reason. I think it’s seeing her judge in “Chopped.” She just takes the whole thing a bit too seriously, and seems like a snooty little snob.

      Cat Cora: I like Cat Cora.

      Mario Batali: One of the most down to earth guys on the network.

      Tyler Florence: This guy is extremely boring and needs to be off the Network already.

      Aaron McCargo JR: Another one of the most down to earth guys on the network.

      Michael Simon: Another one of the most down to earth guys on the network.

      Melissa d’Arabian: Probably a nice person, but not my thing.

      • John says:

        So i agree with most of your analysis, Adam, but there’s a few I’d like to change… Here’s my list:

        Sandra lee: My lllllllllleast favorite chef on the entire netowrk. First off, some of the stuff she says is just flat out wrong, though i can’t think of any examples at the moment. She has some of the worst ideas of anyone i’ve seen on the network and the stuff she tries seems pain gross. She also uses lemon and lime juice from a bottle, which is not only less flavor, but at the rate she uses lemon juice, it seems like it would cost a lot less to just buy lemons. Second, where does she come up with the prices on her newer show: MMMMMMMMMMMMMoney Saving Meals (she does it with Ms too.) She acts as though every item ever has the same price no matter where you buy it (both from varying stores to parts of the country). MMMMMMMMMMMMMMoney Saving Meals is just an excuse to give Sandra an extra block during the day, probably to take up time. It’s the same as her other show, only with made up prices. Last, i’d like to point out that she usually doesn’t taste her own food, but when it comes to “cocktail time” she always has a minute to taste it and comment on how delicious it is. also, tablescapes… that’s all i feel i have to say about that. I feel bad for her family, though with names like “Brycer” and “Kimber” (nephew and sister, respectively) i feel bad for them regardless.

        Now that that rant is over… the rest of them will be shorter.

        Ina: Not only does she say “it’s got great flavor” a lot, but keep an ear out for “how simple is that”, you might want to punch something every time she says it. I know i do. Also, she’ll mention to use GOOD [ingredient] in a dish, and follow it up nearly always with “it makes a huge difference”. Thanks Ina, i wouldn’t have guessed that a better version of ingredient would make it any better.

        Bobby: I’ve heard a lot of contrasting things about Flay. Some people say he’s down to earth, some say he’s a complete tool. He has some interesting ideas, but not a whole lot of personality. I’ve heard on Throwdown he deliberately pulls back his ability, to give the other chef a chance. I’ve noticed he’ll occasionally do something to give himself less of a chance to win: in some of them he’ll know beforehand (since it’s his show) that the judging will be on authenticity to a dish, and then flat out say that he’s not doing something the authentic way. Also, watch his reaction when he wins on Throwdown. Every time he’ll shake his head and make up some excuse that he “got lucky” or something and just flat out say that the other chef’s was better. Why make a show about challenging people when you hate to lose? Why hold back if it’s a competition? Why not just make a show about suggesting good food/restaraunts to people? Flay is an enigma to me.

        Rachel Ray: she’s going to lose her voice any day now, you can tell in every episode, so what does food network think is the logical thing to do? Give her a talk show of course. Her ‘teaching’ style is a bit underwhelming, but she has good ideas sometimes. Her style of naming everything in her own way is annoying too. “stoups/stewps” and stuff… it’s a little too much for me. She’s nothing on the level of Sandra in my book, and i even occasionally like to watch her show, but she’s nowhere near my favorite.

        Giada: I. HATE. THIS. B****. There, i said it. She puts the wrong emphasis on every syllable. i hate that she uses the Italian pronunciation of every ingredient. I hate how she pronounces anything with an “SH” sound in it, Every time she says prosciutto i want to throw something at my TV, and she says it a lot.

        Sunny: I like her personality sometimes. I saw a new episode today (had a different intro) and she actually seemed a bit thinner than usual, but i could have just been seeing things. I’ve made some of her recipes and they’re not that bad. In my book, shes a peg or two above Rachel.

        Alton: Being a kid who grew up on stuff like “Bill Nye: The Science Guy” and “Beakman’s World”, I really like Alton. The nerd in me is at peace when i watch Good Eats. He says “UHH” a lot, i agree, but i can get past that. Alton is my favorite by far, also i’ve tried lots of his recipes from FN.com or just straight off of the show, and they were all delicious.

        Emeril: I’m a little wavy on Emeril. I’m not really sure how to react to him… He has some good ideas, but he does butcher the english language. His personality is weird and every time i hear “AND THEN!!!” coming from the TV, i make a fist and think ‘Shut up and cook. Stop trying to be goofy.’

        The Neely’s: Everyone else has covered these guys enough for me to skip them and just say i agree.

        Michael Chiarello: my girlfriend tries SO HARD to try and convince me he isn’t gay, but i just can’t comprehend. he looks, acts, and talks like he is, and we know how well that theory works with ducks. Regardless, i don’t mind his show, his ideas and recipes are interesting at best. I hate how he pronounces the sound of the letter L sometimes though.

        Anne Burrel: She’s alright, i haven’t caught her solo cooking show enough to get a good feel for her personality and cooking style. Her teaching style on Worst Cooks is a little like Rachel Ray’s, It’s like she’s talking to first graders. “What color are those shrimp now? huh? That’s right! They’re white! Very good!” Though to be fair, the cooking ability of the students almost warrants it. I don’t hate her, but i won’t go as far as to say i really like watching her.

        Guy: I’ll be honest, and i think i’m in the minority when i say i don’t like him one bit. He tries WAY too hard to be the ‘Rad, Wacky, Out of control, really cool guy’. His lingo makes me angry, his cooking style isn’t my favorite, his personality is just dripping with “WHOA! Check out how wacky i’m being now! It’s so out of place but so cool!” (you know he’s saying that to himself at every moment.) He even went, to try and seem cool, as far as to name his children “Hunter” and “Ryder” (yes, it’s with a ‘y’), And i swear that on the TV in the background of Big Bite, it’s videos of him snowboarding/surfing/hunting/doing what cool guys do, as if to say “HEY! LOOK AT ME! I’M INTENSE AND YOU KNOW IT!”

        Guarnaschelli: She totally takes everything way too seriously. On chopped, when she’s judging something and someone talks at any time, she gives this ridiculous look that just screams “What did you just say to me, B****? I am a WAY better cook than you, don’t even consider talking to me.” She just seems uptight and high-and-mighty, but that might just be me.

        Cora: don’t see enough (really any) of her outside of ICA, so i can’t get a feel for her. no comment.

        Batali: He seems really down to earth and cool. Get rid of the crocs though.

        Tyler: I like the show, i don’t really like him. his style and personality are just slow and uncomfortable to watch. His food is usually delicious though. My girlfriend LOVES him and tells me often that she would leave me for him at a moment’s notice, given the chance. I don’t get it.

        Aaron: seems cool. havent tried his recipes, but they sound delicious.

        Michael Simon: I don’t like his accent, really. Other than that i like him.

        Melissa: I liked her in next FN star, though totally wanted the other guy (Jeffrey) to win. She seems like the perfect person to have a show since all her cooking is home taught for home cooks. Haven’t seen much of her show though.

        Paula: Also butchers the english language, though her food is also delicious.

        Aida: something about her i don’t like. can’t place it though.

        Duff: i’m nearly 100% positive that the whole bakery team takes every off-camera opportunity to smoke weed. I like Duff, if only for the occasional neat cake they design.

        Mark Summers: Not discussed yet, He’s the dude from Unwrapped. My inner child wants to like him from memories long past of Double Dare on nickelodeon (he was the host) but i don’t like how he does Unwrapped, nor do i like that they have to put 2 episodes back to back every time it comes on. The way he speaks, like how he puts a brief pause before the last one or two words at the end of almost every sentence, is annoying. Nearly every sentence is said in the exact same way… I just don’t like it.

        • Justin says:

          The Food channel was great back in 1996 when it was all about cooking back-to-back cooking shows. Now it’s all about packaging annoying personalities and who gives a shit restaurants in Podunk Alberta or whereever… bummer, but that’s evolution…

          • Justin says:

            P.S. Unwrapped – it’s just a informmercial disguised as a food program.

          • micci says:

            I agree! I started watching when it was back to back cooking not all of this contests and ace of cakes, etc. Very boring except saturday and sunday mornings!

          • OMG!!!!!! says:

            they have a new network for cooking……..its called the cooking channel or the cooking network or something like that

          • Johny P says:

            Taste with david Rosengarten. Best FN show ever!

        • dina says:

          Let’s all play a drinking game!

          One shot every time…

          -Ina has a party of gay men over when her husbands out of town

          -paula says ‘peeecans’

          -guy wears something ‘midlife crisis’ of a nature

          • Enunciate says:

            Nooo, every time Paula says, “vinegar-ette” or “pappareeka,” or when Ina says, “How _____ was that?” or “Who wouldn’t want that?”

            I enjoy watching both of these ladies, but ack!

          • OMG!!!!!! says:

            when i first saw Ina husband on the show i actually thought it was one of her gay friends

          • Eddie says:

            hahahaha Nah I’m good I dont wanna die of alcohol poisoning

          • clara says:

            You think you have it bad . . . my hubby is so ‘in lust’ with Ina that he doesn’t even notice me anymore. He just sits and stares at the screen when she is talking . . . says it relaxes him. Wants me to cut my hair in a bob but that’s just a bit creepy. What should I do to ‘cool hubby down’??? I will admit Ina is terribly sexy and extremely pretty and classy.

        • slbain says:

          Marc Summers
          Says Everything
          In the same
          Cadence

          Its so annoying
          He always uses
          This exact
          Phrasing

          I want to kill him
          Everytime he
          Says anything
          At all

          I cannot bear his
          Annoying style
          For more than
          A minute

        • pennhead says:

          Mark Summers (Unwrapped):

          I wondered if anyone else noticed the pause in every sentence. Once noticed, it stands out every time now. Must have been something in his Radio & TV training. I’ve heard news anchors/narrators do the same thing. It must be used as a device to hold… your attention.

          • OMG!!!!!! says:

            that is what its suppose to do…..but it does soooo much more.. ugh

          • crabby says:

            Actually Marc Summers has severe OCD. Google it. I am quite sure that influences his every action in life including his speech patterns.

        • Jay Chefs-a-lot says:

          Mark Summer has a very serious case of OCD. I saw an interview with him where he talked about how debilitating it was. It was so bad that it got to the point where he would straighten the fringe on the rug under the table in the dining room. He is receiving help and the way he talks is part of the therapy to offset his affliction.

      • DianeG says:

        A couple of years back, I had watched Alex Guarnsashelli on some kind of competition.. She lost and was such a sore loser,she kept giving dirty looks to every one else (I do not remember what show this was). I would love to see her compete on Chopped, and see what her Royal Highness could come up with. She is so rude, I cant stand watching her..

        • brown139 says:

          Agreed

        • Rebecca says:

          She lost on Iron Chef America a while back, but I don’t know if that is the competition you are talking about. I don’t really remember her reaction to that.
          I don’t know what it is exactly that bothers me about her, but ugh!

        • OMG!!!!!! says:

          i agree

        • Alcoholic Nicole says:

          Amen to that!

        • Victoria says:

          I agree. She seems like such a snotty b**** on everything she’s on. She’s up there on my list of food network stars I hate. Seems like we all agree that Sandra Lee is the worst.

          • Josh says:

            couldn’t agree more, she makes a piece of toast & acts as if she’s brought some miracle to the table. DON’T YOU JUST LOVE THOSE TABLESCAPES? Yeah sandra i do…..if i was born without sight. Seriousl, when she’s finished with the table it looks like your about to eat dinner at the mad hatter’s tea party. But i guess you don’t need room to eat when you live on a balanced diet of grandpa’s ol’ cough medicine(vodka)

        • Jules says:

          I saw this competition with Alex. She was horrible. And a sore loser. All she had to do was cook a Thanksgiving meal to be judged and failed.

        • Hank says:

          Also a sweathog in the kitchen.I mean it does get hot back there but………..

      • moonrayrose says:

        I like most of what all you guys have to say, but here’s my summary on sandra
        1. she can always find a way of how to smear something like shake and bake on chicken breasts and call it her own recipe.
        2. Tablescapes and cocktail time, thats all ive gotta say on this one. She must have been drinking too much of her “DELLLLLICIOUS” cocktails when she started designing some of those hideous tablescapes. they’re only a distraction tactic so you stop thinking about how disgusting her food is and start thinking about how no idiot on this planet would ever use one of her tablescapes.
        3. Her $$saving meals are just another distraction tactic, of which she demonstrates her shake and bake chicken once again to us but includes prices she dreamt up during cock-tail time, so that we think that this food is really doing something for us. Really, we’re just poisoning ourselves by buying the $0.50 per lb. month old chicken.
        4. she says that her cooking is 70% store bought and 30% homemade. It’s really 94% store bought and 6% vodka
        5. And the grand finale- she once bought a cake at the store and made ganache to frost it as a dessert recipe. She makes the ganche and frosts the cake. Then, she tells us that she is going to also make truffles for dessert. Instead of pulling out the extra ganache sitting on the counter, she pulls out, no joke, a frozen container of betty crocker chocolate frosting. Really Sandra, really? Normal people would use the perfectly good truffle making ganache sitting right in front of her. But kudos to you sandra, you used what should have been used to make truffles as frosting, and what you should have frosted the cake with as truffles.

        •Moonrayr○se•

      • Ang says:

        I believe you meant Barry Sotoro when you compared President Bush to Emeril. The least experienced man in every room can’t speak without a teleprompter to help.

        • clara says:

          LOL YOU TELL HIM! Soetero is a lowly community organizer and can’t even take a piss without a teleprompter telling him how to do it! What a Marooooon!

      • kelly says:

        Gianda-

        I just have to add to what I’ve read about Giada. It took me awhile to figure out why she bothered me so much. Finally, I realized it was her awkward smile. She seriously grits her teeth together and smiles so wide you can see both upper and lower teeth. Another incredibly annoying thing about her is the way she tastes her food. It’s almost like a rat. She chews so fast and exaggerated it’s hard to watch. Of course the whole Italian pronunciation thing has to be the worst!

        Ina- Her use of the word good when referring to half of her ingredients drives me nuts. By good does she just mean expensive…I have never heard an explanation of what “good” means to her. Also, her recipes always seem so out of reach. Some of her dinner parties must cost hundreds of dollars. If I’m having friends over I need to do it for about 40-50 bucks.

        Neely’s- I do like them but it does seem to be fake. But hey, that’s the persona they have created for themselves and I guess they always need to be on….especially for the camera!

        • cici says:

          Giada-

          For me, the most annoying thing about Giada is that every 5 words she says “Here/there we go”, “I happen to looooove that”. Really? Cannot find other words? Where are the producers? Why nobody tells her how stupid this sounds?

      • Scoot87501 says:

        So Michael Chiarello ‘seems’ gay to you? So this is coming from two straight guys, is that it? Well I am gay and I think my gaydar is pretty damn good and has very rarely failed me and I have never had the feeling Chiarello was anything but a straight arrow. If he is gay I want his address! I have cooked many of his recipes and he knows exactly what he is doing. I miss him and his show. I guess he wasn’t enough of a buffoon for the Food Network!

        As far as the Neelys go I can’t get past the fact that neither of them seem to realize that they are miked so they yell all the time!

        • tjrf65 says:

          …i love michael chiarello n his show…and not that it makes any difference to me, or that its even my business (i’m not the one sleeping with him, after all ) but there have been thoughts that have crossed my mind while watching the show…”gee, he always has guests n dinner parties, but i never see a family…or for that matter i never see a wife though i see a wedding ring…” but i’ve decided, in the first place, i’m thinking with a totally heterosexual mindset (wife?), and i think he’s cultured…he seems to have european influences about him…he’s sophisticated, has a personable, easy-going manner, can cook up a storm and he’s sexy, to boot…a lot of the men i know would think he’s gay, but i think he’s just not a redneck…like a lot of the men i know :)

          • Enunciate says:

            Actually, Michael C. has had his wife on the show several times, and has cooked for her on those episodes.

            But I’m not saying that has anything to do with his orientation.

        • Sonyafly says:

          I think I may have read Sandra has the tablescapes written into her contract. Do you remember her infomercials from the early 90′s? She invented some easy curtain making puffy things. I can’t remember what they were called. Anyway, she wouldn’t do the food shows unless they allowed her to do her tables capes. I agree, I dislike them. To me I feel like she is always going to start to laugh when she first starts describing something.

      • Sigrid says:

        Giada deLarentis has the most annoying way of raising her voice an octave at the end of every sentence and when she turns on that grimace of a grin, I’m reminded of that commercial with the doggy dentures!

      • Little says:

        Thank you, thank you. I don’t understand how anyone can watch Alton Brown – his schtick is ridiculous, distracting, and annoying. I cringe every time he puts on a “skit” and he is just so corny!

        Giada – the most condescending, patronizing, cleavage revealing snot! Yes, she is pretty, but she is mean. Just saw an episode where she concocted a (not making this up) blueberry collins drink with gin and thyme simple syrup. She had her girlfriends over for lunch, then proceeded to tell everyone to “drink responsibly”. Like they’re going to get wasted on one drink?! Then she singled out one girl by saying, “Look at so-and-so, she has already knocked hers back, Sh likes her cocktails!” Well, the camera pans to this poor woman who hasnt even had a sip, and she looks mortified! Why, Giada, why be so freaking mean? Oh, and stop calling people older than you “sweetie.” So patronizing!

        • boops says:

          Giada-is the most annoying of all the chefs-did you also notice that her Husband TOOODDD could care less about her or her food and appears gay to me. Her aunt, (forgot her name) looks as though she thinks Giada doesn’t know what she is talking about.
          And If I see one more recipe with lemons, I’m gonna be sick.
          Finally-those people she calls her friends-must just be extras for the show-none of them appear to like her much.

          • trixie says:

            I’m with ya 110% re: Giada! Actually, I think the people she has on the show are her real friends, and I think they come across just as snotty and pretentious as she is! Birds of a feather! And yes, her aunt (Raffie?) treats Giada like she doesn’t know how to cook – hilarious!

          • Chuan says:

            omg. i totally agree with you. i googled her and her husband works as a fashion designer at Anthropologie. Like come, my gaydar is never wrong.

        • Josh says:

          great point LITTLE. Her nickname should be sweetie,with that bulbis candy apple head that looks like it’s photoshopped onto her puny body that also is equipped with alligator arms & infant sized fingers. She made a dish the other day with peas & when she picked one up in her hands, it looked like she was holding a softball. Also, you look constipated when you smile….it’s like a chesire cat on steroids, i almost thought i was watching t.v in 3D …so have a heart & stop smiling,your scaring all the viewer’s. Put your ego down….if you can reach that far with those arms

          • pretzelogic says:

            Spih-gee-teeeeee Is the Giada word that makes me involuntarily whimper and voluntarily change the channel. Josh, you are hilarious;. Please write a bunch more. Just found this site yesterday and hope it is up and running again soon. KINDRED SPIRITS at last.

          • Your Name says:

            I don’t like Giada but dude; that’s just plain mean . You’re a hater. Save it for the playground you bully: or now that your all grown up: whatever lonely seat at whatever bar you are sitting at night after night after night. Xo xo xo you freaking tool.

        • Bill Bryant says:

          Tyler’s dad’s meatloaf is INcredible – Tyler is incredible – a very good cook!. I’m Tyler’s biggest fan. Ina is a schlepper whom people can’t escape even if they go home – she’ll follow them with food – once she went to an empty house, got in and left food – Ina went to London and sent Jeffrey away on a bus while she went to the chocolatiers. Giada’s husband lookschagrined to even be there – this is the only woman in the world with a rectangular smile – Sandra is campy and really fun – but her tablescapes look more like a architectural salvage than a table – and she color coordinates the drapes to match her mouthwash; Paula was nice but we’re over her – and the two big boys she’s trying to find work for. Now Chuck Highes is fun (Chuck’s Day Off – Cooking Channel) – a live wire who once made TurDuckIn (PETA should have put a stop to that) – and that pretty girl in Nova Scotia who does “French Cooking at Home” – introduce her to Chuck so that she doesn’t have to cook for the handyman anymore.

      • Wags says:

        Adam, you are so spot on with everything you said! Ha! I have to add that me n’ my sisters love to bust on ‘big head’ Giada. Ever notice how she sounds like an American Valley girl, but then when an Italian word comes in to play, all of a sudden she sounds straight up from Italy? PanCHETTTTTAA! Hahaha!

      • ckr2k7 says:

        I am a black female and i have enjoyed the Foodnetwork for a decade. It has evolved into something other than a foodnetwork. i can not stand those Neelys. Gina big wide mouth gets on my last nerve and her husband seems a little G%$ to me. I get so tired hearing him talk about how he met Gina..who gives a d^&*. The foodnetwork use to be a network where the kids could enjoy the shows as well. Gina always has those big ^&& breast out and showing all 123 teeth in her mouth. Give me a break. I’m not hating because i am a very attractive lady with 40 C’s and a nice face and frame. Also, Paula…..you need to sit yo old &** down and stop acting like a horny grandmother. I use to love watching your shows and thought that you were such a gentle spirited lady. I remember when you had the sailors on your show…you had one of them licking icing off your finger…come on Paula, that is a bit overboard for a married woman or a single decent female. And Big Daddy…..you look like a d%^& fool with those two earrings in your ears. I remember this cartoon character called, “Shamoo” or something like that…well thats exactly who you remind me of. Stop acting like …….you know what i mean.

        • roxie says:

          I agree with you 100 percent. I cannot stand the Neelys for the simple reason that no married couple can be that happy and hot for each other 24/7. They make me sick with all their brown sugar talk. Just shut up and cook or quit and go get a room

        • foodieinalabama says:

          ha ha!!!! I think you are thinking of Babu. That is too funny.

        • clara says:

          Agreed! Paula is loud, crude, crass and acts like a sex-crazed teenager. I cannot stand her screechy, white trash voice and all the ‘y’all’ business. For class, elegance, practicality and pure delightful entertainment, give me Ina every time. Now THAT is a lady I would love to have as a neighbor. Genuine, elegant, a true lady with manners and appreciation for the finer things in life! I APPLAUD that she is rich and successful . . . she WORKED for it and DESERVES it (to all the wealth haters out there). Ina is my home-girl!

      • Mal says:

        I adore FN and watch it all of the time, it’s comfortable and delightful..although the now ginormous pop-up ads that flash across the screen every 3 seconds is pretty obnoxious. But anyway, I find this site amusing just like everyone else. I probably have a more forgiving attitude toward most of the hosts though:

        Bobby Flay: Love him, he worked hard to get where he is and he’s packed with NY attitude..love it. But unlike those who find him arrogant I just think he’s low key and down to earth. As someone else said somewhere, he is absolutely right to show his disgust for the lame ICA judges to tell him his food is not to their liking. When some idiot on that show tries to sound like a real food critic I cringe and can’t imagine what runs through his head.

        Sandra Lee: aka Stepford Wife. I’m convinced that she’s a robot who has been programed to makes us think that mixing Spam and Ramen Noodles together is some kind of great dish. She’s fake, can’t stand her show.

        Tyler Florence: Love his show, I don’t agree that he’s boring, I don’t need constant fireworks and laser beams to be engaged. He’s good, genuine, and passionate about the art of cooking. I like watching him cook. And I’d be lying if I said I didn’t think he’s just a big good lookin’ dude that dressed a roast chicken in a jacket of bacon. That’s yum on a few levels.

        Sunny Anderson: I like her, she’s gorgeous, but I can’t watch her often because she literally doesn’t take a breath from the moment the show starts to the moment it ends. Constant chattering about her personal life. We all like to feel like we can relate to these people but wow…take a breath and just cook. Every host has their quirks that make them fun but I don’t like how she says that “if you don’t have….or….., you’re more than welcome to go ahead use….” I’m more than welcome? Am I in your house or mine?

        Ina Garten: Absolutely love her. Yeah, she’s low key, but I adore the fact that she’s not bouncing off the ceiling or talking constantly about things that no one cares about. She’s a great example of understated class. I love her simple rustic style. She’s quality and she just cooks. And I happen to like watching her with her gay male friends…they look lovely. Nothing wrong with that. It does occasionally irk me when she says to use good this or that, but I think she values quality ingredients and if she can get some people to think more about what they buy and at least once and a while splurge on “good” vanilla extract to experience the difference than more power to her. Love Ina.

        Rachel Ray: She’s absolutely exhausting, can’t stand her. Her voice and laugh make me hurt on the inside. I don’t care what she cooks, can’t watch her.

        Guy Fieri: He has grown on me, I don’t care for his cooking show or his silly custom made knives that are supposed to get guys to want to cook, but I do like Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives. Sometimes he comes across as a fool, but I appreciate watching other people do cool things in their own kitchen restaurants.

        Melissa D’Arabian: BORING in every way.

        Giada: The fakery is just overwhelming I can’t stand how everything is just so perfect and has this white glow on her show. She made breakfast for one of her child relatives and brought it to her upstairs, the perfect waif like blond girl was in a giant white bed while the white lace curtains flapped gently in the summer breeze. Giada got in bed with her and presented goat cheese crostini or something pretentious like that. I fully expected them both to sprout Angel wings…disgusting and really fake.

        Mario: loved him, just a real guy who loves food and damn good at cooking. I’m glad his shows have ended up on The Cooking Channel. Loved him on Iron Chef America with Emeril. Although I have yet to be inspired enough to try one of his recipes, they seem difficult and expensive. But he’s fun to watch.

        Emeril: Used to love him, got way too annoying and commercial. And yes he is a butcher of the English language so I stopped watching him and can’t really get back into his show.

        Ann: Eh, she’s kind of annoying and definitely has that Kindergarten teacher voice going on. I don’t appreciate how she personifies food. “Make sure you get all of the little guys into the pan.” They’re potatoes Ann, not guys.

        Robert Irvine: Love this guy’s show Dinner: Impossible, it’s just fun.

        Alton Brown: Can’t get into his show, I appreciate his campy style but it gets annoying after a while. I do like him as the host on ICA though.

        Robin Miller: Ewww, not a fun show. The reviews for her recipes on FN.com are mediocre at best. No wonder why her show is on at like 7am every so often.

        Clair Robinson: the 5 ingredient theme is just boring. I don’t need to watch a cooking show to make an omelet with 4 ingredients in it besides eggs.

        Paula Deen: I think she gets a lot of unnecessary flack. She’s so great. I adore her. I watch her all of the time. I know when I watch her I’m not going to hear about calorie counting or going to the gym after taking one bite of cheese cake. Her sons are really adorable too. I love watching them eat butter in various forms in between the Y’alls. Paula is pure personality and someone that is just comfortable. Her show is just as warm and gooey as her food. Love that.

        I do think that FN is the happiest place on TV.

        • elmer the fudd says:

          You are wrong about Sandra Lee, she is not a Stepford Wife, just hammered. Visited with her at length at the Food & Wine Festival (2010) in South Beach, and she was knocking back the Grey Goose, had her posse of very flamboyant gay guys (nothing wrong with that) they were way over the top and way drunk, so much so that Paula Deen’s security (major size black man with a no nonsense attitude) almost had to lay one Sandra’s “boys” out.

        • clara says:

          MAL, I love you because you love Ina for the same reasons I do! She is class personified and she is just as friendly and welcoming in real life as she is on TV . . . sat next to her on a flight once and we never stopped chatting and laughing . . . just a really wonderful, genuine person. She immediately put me at ease and wanted to know my opinion of the show and what my own cherished recipes were.

      • A-Bu says:

        I think it should also be mentioned about Sunny Anderson the she pronounces the ‘L’ in yolk! Yolllllk! How dumb are you, Sunny?!?

      • Chompy says:

        Definatly not gay. Actually a bit of a womanizer. Ask my wife.

      • D'Aun says:

        MARIO BATALI?!?!?!?! Ick. I would never eat anything his gross hands touched. Do you not notice he wears socks with sandals and shorts under his chef jacket? Ewwwwwwwwww. Also, he’s REALLY ugly.

      • Nanny says:

        Aaron McCargo, Jr: Very talented. Comes across as warm and genuine,

        Guy Fieri: Lose the neck glasses.

        Paula Deen: Down to earth and real.

        The Neelys: Great chemistry and good cooks.

        Rachel Ray: Probably needs a vacation.

        Emeril: Master chef

        Bobby Flay: Big personality.

        Melissa D’Arabian: One of the warmest ladies on the Food Network.

      • haha wow says:

        I think you are a freak and have some real insecurity issues.

        I really hope these people amp up on security becuase you sound like a potential serial killer.
        Its one thing to joke.. but you have a sad sad sad life… pathetic creep.

      • Carmen says:

        Rite on Adam. I agree with you on all. Except for guy. Charm really? The charms are hanging from all the bling he wears. He thinks he is too cool. And he cooks with wayyyy too many ingredients

      • Carol Ann says:

        I just think if these so called chef’s were not at right place at righ ttime,they would not be so rich,and at least some are real chefs,not just plain old cook,At least Giada was born with goldens spoon inher mouth,look at who her Grandfather was,she probably never suffered day in her life,but the most phoney one is sandra Lee,that is not even her real name,divorced her husband and now lives with governor of new york in rich arear,also that is not really Giada’s home is is someone elses,and Paula Deen sacts like she was so poor growing up or had it so ruff when she got divorced? also Rachael Ray,she comes from money too,and wish her husban dwould get haircut and shave,looks like a left over mobster? guy Fieri,at least he lucky his parents were hippies,so he could do anything he practically wante dgrowing up,lucky him,and bobby flay was a wild red head kid from new york,just got lucky,and alton brown just nerd,got lucky too,look at David Rocco,use to be model and even thought he cute,would you or i land a cooking show in italy,no way look at his boobless wife,think after having twins she would have bigger boobs? all rich bitches,or just got lucky or who really knows,how they got so rich so fast just having humor or snobby look at Ida Gae=rten,looks like they nevered suffered really a day in their life,caus eno kids to give you heart ach an dpain,wil probably live long time?

        • Nikkipoo says:

          Firstly, before you get so critical, learn how to “type” and “spell” and use proper English. Your comments show nothing short of jealously, ignorance, and anger.

      • Lisa says:

        Dude get a life and stop analyzing…if you don’t like it turn it off…

      • Tricia says:

        They all seem to have a favorite word or saying. It does get annoying at times ! Like Ina and her “how good does THAT look”? I do love her show……..however, she will say to a guest on the show, “oh, you measure exactly…….just like I do” ! But she doesn’t…………she is ALWAYS using her teas. measure to do 1/2 a teas. which is fine……..but just don’t claim to measure exactly when you don’t ! Yes, the Neely’s need to GET A ROOM ! They are bout as sickening as they come ! All their kissy kissy crap ect…… and I can’t get past her WHINY voice to even watch their show, even if they do make some items I’d be interested in ! Now Giada…..I LOVE her show……..but don’t understand why she has to have her top unbuttoned so far to show so much ! I love The Pioneer Woman and Trisha’s Southern Cooking. They need to have those shows on more often ! I agree………sickening Sandra Lee is also my least favorite one on t.v. ! Not sure how she even got a show! Somedays they have all the ‘loser shows’ that are on……in a row and I just have to turn the channel !

    • Marty says:

      I was sent a link to this site, I’ve only watched a total of 2 hours of food network ever (on business trips), and I have a suggestion for you-all: throw the TV out the window, get in the kitchen and start cooking.

      • John says:

        While it’s true that FN stars are annoying, and often, they do teach a lot of interesting and useful information. It’s not as though i sit there and say to myself “Man… if only i could cook, i would make this and it would be delicious.” not at all. I watch it to get ideas for new dishes and to learn what can be prepared in however many different ways and what flavors blend well together.

        • sarah says:

          Wow, the only person on here that doesnt sound like a crazy person that wants to go on a killing spree. I agree.. I learned A LOT of stuff from the food network channel that I never even thought of. Its like free cooking school on tv. I dont care what anyone says.. its awesome.

      • Ferd Berfle says:

        To Marty: Most of us cook quite a bit, but thanks for the advice. That doesn’t mean we cannot critique what’s broadcast on Food Network.

        • Nora says:

          I dunno, Ferd, I think that makes us uniquely qualified to comment on these shows. While laid off from a job, I recently discovered that I am actually quite a good cook. Go figure.

      • Sigrid says:

        Marty, you seem far too elite to waste your time commenting on inane cooking shows.

      • Josh says:

        suggestion for you marty, after you throw the t.v out of the window…jump out after it

    • Carrie says:

      INA GARTEN is a snob!! I hate how she says that you need good vanilla extract, yeah yeah we all know you have $$$$$$$. I wish she would overdose on her own “good extract”. I hate her stupid laugh ahuhu ahuhuh ahuhu, irritating! Her husbands a idiot! With all her money why doesn’t she buy new clothes and lose weight! Brag brag brag! Always acts like her friends have no clue on how to throw a party! Come on, quit acting like they just arrived on earth!

      I don’t know who is more irritating her or Giada(square mouth herself)!!!!!!

      • L says:

        “her husbands A idiot”??? Who is the idiot?? Learn proper English grammar if you want to be a critic. Idiot!

      • Samantha says:

        She says and be sure to use good vanilla, what the heck you think im going to use, bad vanilla.

      • MMMichelle says:

        She says use the good stuff I figured as opposed to faux vanilla. Yes. Cheap vanilla can taste like alcohol. And I have been served that many a time, so yes. You might use bad vanilla…

      • Donna says:

        I always have the feeling that if she didn’t do the cooking, she wouldn’t be invited to anyone’s home. She says, “How gorgeous (easy) (simple) is that?”, etc. and laughs much too long and too hard. Doesn’t quite fit with the Hamptons crowd, me thinks.

        • boops says:

          That’s why I like Ina-because she doesn’t fit in with the Hampton snobby crowd. Can’t stand the Hamptons, they are a bunch of phony stuck up boney a**ed snobs, living in over priced houses on ever shrinking sand dunes.
          Yes, she has a weight problem-so what, her recipes are great most of the time. The only issue I have with some of her shows is the appearance of the florist friend who makes centerpieces out of fruit or vegetables and how Ina raves about them. Other than that, I like her show.

      • David says:

        All you complainers….you’re just jealous you don’t have good cleavage like Giada, good vodka like Sandra, or good vanilla like Ina.

        • Josh says:

          don’t fall for giada’s cleavage illusion…..it only appears she has it because she has had the same body since kindergarden.

          • Carmen says:

            Josh u r the best. I don’t care about g s cleavage. She’s a snob. I met her once n she acted like I was annoying her. She kept looking at me up n down with that fake smile. She has man hands. Ever notice how she squeezes lemons or smashes garlic? Scary…..

      • SaraCVT says:

        Ah, yes, the “you’re just jealous” argument…no, like a fine wine, that never gets old…

      • Josh says:

        What is the deal with ina’s denim shirt that she wears….EVERY DAY,What is she, superman? & why does she have to laugh after every thought that comes out of her mouth, she would probably giggle after telling you she just had a death in her family. Does anyone find it funny that whenever she’s cooking a meal for her & ‘jeffrey” he always has to go on some 3 hr drive through the countryside? I guess i would to, just to keep from shoving a fork in my temple from listening to her gigglefest. Sorry ina, i can’t find the “good” ingredients because their all hidden under your tent sized denim shirt…..& we all could care less about your fairy dust man friends who tolerate you just so they can secretely get closer to their man toy jeffrey

      • clara says:

        My My, the poor little moronic Obama-voter is hating on the hard-working, successful woman who earned every penny she has! Won’t give you a handout? Poor you . . .can’t stand anything that has class and wholesomeness and integrity. Well I have news for you Carrie . . . your hatred will soon kill you and you will die knowing that Ina Garten has more class and substance in her little finger than you will ever conceive of having in your entire, bitter, hateful little life. You are a waste of air and skin.

    • Ryan says:

      Don’t care about what Sandra Lee makes, she’s hot. Rachel Ray isn’t hot, and she’s in no way interesting. Why in the hell can’t you say delicious all the way through? Why is everything in your kitchen god awful rotten pumpkin colored? Why is everything in your kitchen abbreviated? Jesus, retire! Go have Oprah give you something else to do until you come up with something besides a new chicken burger.

      Guy Fieri…guy…guy guy..
      He’s a Southern Californian. Anyone who has been there knows, it’s all about material possessions and outward appearance. He’s a product of his environment. Also he never makes a manly drink. It’s always something with fruit and muddles and garnishes. I’d love to see him drink a beer or a bourbon and soda. Just once.

      Ina Garten is the queen of droll. I have used her show to put myself and my son to sleep for a nap, and I’m not joking. Her voice is like water flowing over the rocks. So monotone, so smooth. Some of her food looks BAMF though.

      Alton Brown-
      NOTHING is wrong with this dude. He freaking rocks. Applying science and technique to create the prime way of making a food? Excellent work, sir. Uhhhh to your hearts content, and buy some Rogaine.

      Flay, Morimoto, Batali…all these guys seem cool to me. Flay gets pissed on ICA when the judges(who are NOT cooks, just food tasters) critique his food. Rightfully so. I watched him imagine punching someone in the head, and I agreed with him. He didn’t do it but he had my vote.

      …you know now that i’ve typed a little, I’m bored with this.

      Everyone else on FN kinda sucks and prepares the same shit as everyone else.

      And Melissa D’a…da..ara…bean…whatever, shoulda lost. She won because she’s a blonde chick and the other dude looked like freddy kreuger pre-burn ward.

      Peace!

      • If_Its_Funky_Ill_Find_It says:

        Uh…I thought Mr. Ferry was a NORTHERN Californian?

        Northern, Southern, whatever. He’s still a jackass.

      • ajcarl says:

        I agree Giada’s cleavage is great. I bet Paula was extremely hot when she was younger. Also, I don’t know why people don’t like Rachel as much now that she’s successful. I think when we first saw her she wasa breath of fresh air. She practically orgasmed just thinking about a burger and the sparkle in her eye when she talked about food won us over. The fact that she is on TV about 20 hours a week is probably what did it. As for the Neelys I am sick of the “Spice Fairy” and want to slap her when she does that act. But I’d love to go to their BBQ joint anytime.
        Mario doesn’t seem to be part of the team anymore which is too bad. He’s a decent fun loving guy
        Emeril is back on FN/Cooking Channel now and I’m happy to see it. I even watched him on the green channel when I could. He is real. The Food Network started basically with Bobby Flay, Mario, and Tyler Florence. Emeril Live put them on the map. He still has the skill and recipes.
        As for Melissa D’Arabian–I love her. She is a down-to-earth cutie who is one of us. Perhaps the women are jealous of her looks, that is normal.
        Paula is still sexy at her age so she must have been extremely hot when she was younger (So was Ina in the pictures they show). If you doubt Paula’s cooking ability, try her No Peek Prime Rib recipe. It’s simple and fantastic.
        Alex is annoying just like any other New Yorker. I had to laugh at her “on the cheap” meal when I saw her buy about $40 worth of flank steak as well as all the extras. Maybe we don’t like her due to her being a rich NY snob. Bu they’ve been sexing her up as well lately. I think she’s cute.
        Aaron Jr is fun and Micheal Symon is a lot like me so I like him.
        I wish they would show Morimoto more on ICA and let him speak English. He’s still the best cook on the network and has improved his English tremendously the last couple years.
        As for Aida, I now watch her show for the food as well as her sexiness. She is very hot.
        Thanks.

    • Amy says:

      I grew up in East Hampton, NY (where Ina’s Barefoot Contessa ran Main Street with an Iron fist). She just really is that pretentious. After running into her and Billy Joel on almost a daily basis, it makes my stomach churn that she has her own show on FN. BOOOO.

      • foodie says:

        It’s funny… I’ve always liked Ina because I like the fact that she learned everything on her own by trial and error rather than going to cooking school in Paris; yet I bet she can cook the snobby Giada under the table. But since you have met her was she really that snobbish? I guess I figured she would be somewhat snobbish but I actually thought she would be nice to fans…

        • Annie says:

          Foodie, If you like Ina, like her. I wouldn’t go change my feelings regarding a food network host just because someone SAYS she’s a snob.

      • boops says:

        Talk about name dropping. It figures your from the Hamptons.

    • Foodie says:

      I have to agree 100% with every single review and description here. Ina Garten OMG she is such a snob. She is so conceited and is such a name dropper. It’s so obvious that these so called :”Friends” are all either on the pay roll by the food network or on her personal payroll to kiss her you know what and on camera tell her and the viewers how Fabulous she is. (what a joke). And what is up with her and France? THis woman has a degree in finance. She has no culinary training at all. It’s at least for me hysterical to watch her on the barefoot contessa show. She is so full of it and herself that it’s almost not funny but sad. I have tried a few of her recipes and I have to say they were just not good. Her idea of red sauce is a bad one. I tried her meatloaf and ewwwww it was bad. I have tried her English pudding and that was horrible/ Maybe go back to writing books about how great you think you are and stay the heck out of the kitchen. P.S. get a clue food network, the public doesn’t enjoy watching a woman talk DOWN to people while on a supposed cooking program. she just is not good…

      Paula Deen in a word :”PERVERT” . THis woman needs to get a sex show not a cooking show. She is so full of sexual innuendo that it is just gross. Her sons ( who she gets in the shot/show whenever they are broke and need money) are ridiculous and just dopey. Talk about the dumb and dumber. THat would be Paul and her 2 sons. Yeah they know how to cook…. lol Use a little bit more butter toots.. ewwww perv perv perv and her food is nastyyyy. grease, fat and more grease. recipe for a heart attack. no thanks.

      And then there is Sandra Lee. This one is really on the top of wacko. She says in her intro that she has been baking, cooking and entertaining since she was a child and yet she contradicts herself by saying when she was a kid she oftentimes went to bed hungry because they were so poor.. Which Is it there toots? SMH- It’s whichever way will keep her on the food network and receiving a paycheck. Her recipes are filled with processed garbage and she calls it Semi -homemade. At the end of the show she says :”It’s cocktail time” whoaaaaaaaaaaa man she can slam down the Booze. Yes we all down a drink or 4 every night with the Tablescapes that she says are so easy. First of all, those :”Tablescapes” are all afforded by the food network not her.. lol The average person does not have dishes for ever time you change your mind. The pl;ace settings are totally unrealistic and just nonsensical. Her ingredients are all packaged, processed and not healthy even just a little. How about her pronunciation of words. lmbo She really is a flop. GO AWAY Sandra

      • Mark says:

        Maybe you did something wrong. I love Ina and have several of her books. Everything has come out delicious (with the exception of one recipe that had to be altered just slightly). Does she have to be trained to be a good cook? I never went to cooking school, and can cook, as did my mother, and grandmother. Is saying “good” a bad thing? I know people who buy imitation vanilla… enough said. I personally make my own because it’s cheaper, but seriously people. Some say Martha Stewart is a real bitch too, and I’ve met her and found it to be so far from the truth. BTW, what names is Ina dropping? Yes she says names, but no one the general public would ever know. If you don’t like something, just don’t watch it.

        • Victoria says:

          I’m an Ina fan and yeah, she says good too much, but I have to agree with stuff like vanilla. She’s got a calm voice which I like compared to some of the other host’s shrill or hoarse voices. The only name I’ve ever heard her drop was Mel Brooks and he was actually on the show that time.

      • Scoot87501 says:

        I’ve been cooking for nearly 40 years and I’ve done many of Ina Garten’s recipes and found them to be quite good. I do think she’s a bit precious and cooks without a thought to cost but that doesn’t affect the quality of her recipes. Personally I am pretty sick of the term ‘Foodie’ and those who claim to be one.

      • repapips says:

        I have been cooking off Ina Garten’s “The Barefoot Contessa”
        for years and the dishes have actually turned out really good! Come on guys, I think some of your comments are pretty harsh and too personal! Ina is on TV to share her food knowledge with you. She’s not there to be your best friend! So who cares if she’s actually snooty in person? If you don’t like her food, don’t watch her and don’t buy her cookbooks but you don’t have to be mean and call her husband an idiot!
        I love “The Barefoot Contessa”s recipes” ! Just saying…

      • brown139 says:

        LOLLLL!!!!

      • yummers says:

        I started noticing that Sandra Lee’s clothes matched the curtains in the background That’s going a bit far but I found it kinda funny.

      • Josh says:

        haha so true about sandra lee’s contradiction FOODIE. keep in mind she has said alot of these things when she’s… semi- in the bag!

    • Cyndi says:

      Alex. It is hard to go from being such a B—- to having your own show and then expecting people to like you. Can’t stand her.
      – Alton, I really like him and find him amusing.
      – Anne Burrell. She makes me sick. The way she licks her fingers is disgusting. The amount of salt she adds to her dishes is ridiculous. Who could possibly eat anything she cooks. And what is up with all the growling?
      – Bobby Flay. Arrogant!!! Enough said
      – Giada: I can’t stand the way she pronounces any word she thinks is remotely Italian. Does she own any clothes that her boobs are not falling out of? She is so stuck on herself that it is sad.
      – the Neely’s. Let’s talk about the fact that the Gina did not start the Neely’s Barbeque but takes all the credit for it. Wonder how Pat’s brother feel about that. You can tell that she is not really that “into” her husband they way he is with her. She gives him dirty looks all the time and is constantly telling him how to cook. They sound more and more like Paula Deen. Y’all this and Y’all that. I was raised in the south and we did not talk that way. Everyone is right when the say to much smut on the show and they need to get a room. They are so annoying that I can’t bear to watch their show.
      –Paula Deen. Please tell me who told her that her blue hair looks good. And those white teeth and painted on tan look ridiculous on a woman her age. I swear if I see her come onto one more young man on her show I’ll scream. I have watched shows from 2005 and her accent was no where near as heavy and she had a lot more class. I believe she has forgotten how she got to where she is today and should really try to recapture that. I saw her on a Craig Ferguson show and she made a complete ass out of herself. She actually licked a stick of butter. She has truly become a real PIG!!!!!
      – Emril. He is pretty creepy.

      • NJNK says:

        Awesome site,and wonderful assessments of TFN stars. I’ve been sitting here nodding. However, please:

        More than one Neely is Neelys (because it’s a name, you don’t change the y to ie before adding the s).

        If one Neely owns something, it’s “the Neely’s.”

        If more than one Neely owns something, it’s “the Neelys’.”

        ++++++++++++

        Carry on!

    • billy says:

      aaron mc cargo,
      now that he sounds white i can almost watch his show. maybe they can come up with some cooking shows on bet.
      can you sat sellout.
      or at least change the name of his show to large father.

      • PistonsStan says:

        This is one of the most ignorant comments I have read in a long time. What does BET have to do with anything? Last time I checked, African-Americans were not limited to only being on that channel. You also stated something about him “talking white”. Really? You sound like an uneducated, racist idiot. It is one thing to rag on someone about their behaviors, but quite another to be hateful.

      • MsFoodie says:

        Yes. Yes, that truly is bottom of the barrel ignorant and a good (no, great) way to show the world your idea of what a real prick is! Congrats!

    • Christine says:

      I just found this site, and I’m in tears from laughing so hard! I CANNOT, under any circumstances, stand Giada. Does anyone remember during the Next Food Network Star series when (during deliberations) she accused one of the participants of being too bubbly and like a cheerleader? That’s rich coming from her, because she’s so over the top and goofy with that oversized lollipop head and gaping maw. Then there’s Sandra who dresses to match her kitchen decor – I’m sorry but WTF is up with that? I don’t understand the concept of “tablescapes” either – you either get a hot meal or a decorative tablescape – you don’t get both by 6:00 p.m. Remember the white dress she wore with the green lanscape on it the day she did Italian (or something equally as lame)? It was like she had a tapestry draped across her body. Ugh!

      • Mary says:

        What about Sandra’s white top with the red “holes” – including a big oval one in the stomach area. It looked like her insides were showing.

      • Mila says:

        I remember that episode of NFNS! It was Kelsie (sp?) that Giada was criticizing. At the time, I remember thinking that Giada probably felt threatened that a young, attractive cook might be the next star. Does anyone remember the Iron Chef episode where Giada and Bobby faced off against Mario and RR? Giada looked PISSED when she lost, she couldn’t even smile.

      • Lips says:

        How about Sandra’s Halloween episodes where she changes during every commercial? I nearly puked when she did all these Marie Antoinette-type characters.

      • Sharey Y says:

        Omg I too have not laughed so hard in I don’t know how long!!! I really enjoy reading what others think of these hosts and have to agree with most of them!

    • Mike says:

      FYI, I hate virtually EVERYONE on this channel, soooo here we go………

      Bobby Flay – So full of himself he had to call his most recent special ‘Bobby’s Ireland’ as if he owns the entire island. He’s about as irish as canned corned beef. I’m suprised he didn’t film this with a celtic cape and leprechaun hat and tell us his real name is Sir Robert Seamus McFlay. I like how he had potatos boiled in sea water and told the lady that served him, ‘I’m gonna steal that idea.” Wouldn’t be the first time though. He also thinks he invented the chili pepper just because he sprinkles a little poblano flakes on his kay-su-dee-yas. He’ll probably come back to the states and open up an irish joint called O’Flaynagans and serve those potatos for $30 a plate. Way to sell out your heritage Sir Bobby.

      Guy Fierri – Is this guy an alcoholic or just have melatonin issues? He’s almost as red as his tacky lounge shirts he wears with his wrist bands and bling. Like California doesn’t have enough to be embarrased about, he claims ‘NorCal’. My stomach turns when I see him act like he’s down with the people at these shitholes he visits. I’m sure they’re really into him too, when he comes barrelling into the kitchen and sticks his sick ass greasy hands in everything. Thanks for giving our smallt own AIDS ‘bro’. You’re ‘off the hook’ all right.

      Mario Batali – Thank god he isn’t on the food network anymore. He’s better suited for the Science Channel, as they research how fat someone can get before they explode. Mario, I don’t CARE if you’re an ‘expert’ on the history of Italian cuisine. We don’t need to know what direction the wind blows over the southern hills of Napoli while the organic fed cattle graze on the mint green italian grass. They all moo and shit the same, just like you, you bloated beast.

      Giada – Moat-zaa-rreee-lah! Wow, you seem soo Italian now. She has a huge bobble head to match her bitchy attitude. Cooks some of the more boring dishes on the network and tries to make them sound interesting with overzealousness. If you want to scare the kids, show them a freeze frame of her smiling about pancetta.

      Aaron McCargo Jr – I don’t know why he talks like his nose is plugged, his nostrils are big enough to house a set of soup ladles. If he lifts his head at the right angle, you can see his brain.

      Claire Robinson – Close 2nd to Aaron for biggest nostrils on cable, though her nose is more piggish. She has the brilliance to make 5 ingredient dishes when salt, pepper, garlic and oil are 4 of them. Stop trying to be sexy and just make your plate of prison mush.

      Paula Deen – How impressive to make a name for yourself by advocating one of the most basic cooking ingredients. Hmm, and you’re fat? No way! Just call your show the 2 words you overuse the most ‘Butter, yawl!’ That way we would know what you’re about and not have to waist 15 minutes to find out you’re gonna make something uninventive.

      Duff Goldman – Star of the show ‘Ass Flavored Cakes’, basically filming a bunch of potheads tapping into their inner pastry chi by hanging out at a ‘bakery’. Metal rods and boards covered with frosting? Mmmm, I’ve got the munchies!

      Alex Guarnaschelli – Just like Fieri tries to be hip at 40, this bitch tries even HARDER to sound interesting and sophisticated. Her words sound passionate but her face is drab and uglier than Rachael Ray’s mutt.

      Sunny Anderson – Growing on a weekly basis, and I’m not talking about the ratings. Mentions that she was a military brat as often as she stuffs fudge in her mouth between shootings. Boring dishes, and eats like a slob at the end. The food wasn’t gross enough, I have to watch you drool on it, and slop out of your mouth during the end credits. Thanks.

      Ina Garten – I’d like to bludgeon her with a ‘good’ club. Let me text my friend real quick at his 8 million dollar home..’Would you like to come over for cookies? Great.’ She is another one who has gotten progressively fatter over the years. I guess if you put sliced strawberries and whip cream in a $300 champagne glass, it’s fancy.

      Neelys – Ok, just start screwing on the island countertop and get it out of your system already! ‘Gimme sum suga Gina baby!’ Makes me sick. Like we’re interested in watching a fat married couple flirt with each other while they marinade chicken with malt liquor and make BBQ spaghetti.

      Ann Burrell – I think that she actually thinks she’s cute…disgusting thought, I know. Hey everyone, I’m a gross fat lesbian with way too big of a hair doo. I am also working reeeal hard on learning how to wear make up. I am original too, Mario Batali wears orange Crocs, IIIII wear red clogs.

      Robert Irvine – Anyone who runs frantically to a stove and says ‘Oh my god the cakes!’ with an english accent is clearly at home on this channel. It’s hilarious watching him intimidate people with his size and volume while he tries to whip together a meal fit for a…….penitentiary. A buff guy making a quiche..good stuff, I mean, cherio! (tea pinkie extended)

    • Irma Saud says:

      Sandra Lee is a very a very caring person. Please do not judge her if you do not know anything about her. Why are all these comments about each host such a put down? Could it be the writer is jealous???

  2. Hamdi says:

    Love the site, the bios are the best part! L O L

    • Tina says:

      This is hysterical! I was making a comment about Ina and that her only friends were gay guys who couldn’t get along without her cooking and she recommended this site! How funny this is! I’ve RSSed it! Keep it up, these comments are right on target! Couldn’t have said many of them any better.
      Signed,
      A confessed foodie

      • Samantha says:

        Wonder why she has so many gay men friends ? It is kinda funny.

      • Jack says:

        Honestly? I think she’s self conscious. Most arrogant people are, deep down. It would also explain why surrounds herself with middle-aged gay men who will worship her and flatter her. Let’s be honest, can you see a straight middle-aged male getting up from his football game to play her “let’s decorate the table and make it FABulous!” contest?

        Just cook the freaking food, Ina. We don’t need a fishbowl filled with colored beads, a fake flower arrangement and planted palm trees on the beach to enjoy good food with friends. Money isn’t everything.

  3. brett says:

    This is great! I’m so glad you started this site. I watch Food Network every day and I love it but I still love to laugh at ‘em.

  4. Automne says:

    Word on The Neelys bio. I can’t stand watching their show because Gina feels the need to cram as many double entendres and sexual innuendos as she can in an episode. Their poor daughters, man.

    And I just had a discussion about that Adam guy with my sister last night. While he was an engaging personality, he couldn’t be engaging and cook at the same time. So he lost and Aaron won. And while I’m no Aaron fan and don’t expect Big Daddy’s House to last (Big Daddy is who you call your pimp or whoever owns you in prison and Big Daddy’s House sounds like a porno), I’d be kind of peeved if I were him, to have gone through all of that to win the big prize and the one who lost to me gets the big prize, too.

    • Jack says:

      Amen on the Neelys. If I hear her screech “Reeee-Miiiiix” one more time, I think I’ll slit my wrists. Both of them constantly look at the camera with the brightest, fakest smiles they can think of. And every time she so much as uses a verb (any verb can be made sexual), we’re treated to that pervy laugh of his; “Huh-huh-huh-huh-huh yeah, baby. I’ll bring you some sausage, right y’all?”

      These guys try WAY too hard. It’s like they’re convinced you have to be a certain way to be on TV, when what people are craving is authenticity and down-to-earth cooking talent.

      • Irma Saud says:

        If you do not like Ina, don’t watch her show. She does not need viewers who do not -GET- her life style or friends. Some of us enjoy her show.
        As far as the Neelys I agree she acts like an over sexed teenager. Very fake. I do not even watch their show any more because of her comments of ” Brown Sugar and jiggling while she adds spice to things. Thumbs down on that show.
        Sandra Lee is a very caring person. The only thing I am not too fond of is the “cocktails” added at each show.. They are not needed. Please don’t judge her unless you know her history.

        • Crushed says:

          You’re passing judgement on Sandra Lee too….it just happens to be positive.
          Follow your own advice:

          If ya don’t like the comments on here, don’t read them.

  5. cee says:

    You forgot Robin Miller. She makes half-assed attempts at ethnic food, and calls everything “rustic”.

    • Connie says:

      Robin clearly detests food. The Food Network needs to replace her with someone who isn’t anorexic!

    • Sigrid says:

      Did anybody else see the show where Ina took a shot at ‘tablescapes’? She said she thought they were ridiculous or something similar. Since I can’t imagine redecorating my dining room for every meal, I agree. It’s also a bit mind-boggling that she coordinates her clothes, the kitchen, her ‘scape’, and her food. That’s W-A-A-A-Y anal. She’s a little 1950 for me with her ‘sweet’ everything and words like ‘kiddies’. Yuck.

  6. foodie says:

    Rachael Ray got where she is because of pure luck in her association with Oprah, but does have a talent for making cooking approachable. This is totally countered by her drooling greed and dishonest ambition. I haven’t been able to watch her for that rare diamond in a coal mine in quite some time. She has the fake smile of an old hooker without the benefits.

    • roxie says:

      Rachael rose up through the ranks working very hard even as a young girl. She got her start on a local tv channel doing ads for Price chopper supermarket chain and her 30 minute meals. She had a segment on the local news each night for about a minute or two and she had a great personality. She really worked hard to get where she is today. But I find her very annoying now, she’s too cutsey with her words and phrases and laughs at things too much. She’s just not funny. But she is a big personality and have to give her credit, she did this on her own, really worked her way up.

  7. Lydia says:

    Even though his stint with Food Network has not been renewed, it just wouldn’t be the same without a small shout out for Mario Batali and his orange crocs.

    • Billy says:

      I know I miss big Mario as well! A real pro…

      • Jack says:

        I agree. Mario’s the real deal. I enjoyed watching him on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart. He seems really genuine, he’s paid his dues, he’s a REAL chef, but he’s humble and good-natured.

      • SaraCVT says:

        That WAS a good show, wasn’t it? Made me want to buy the book, as Jon couldn’t seem to stop eating his food.

  8. Philly Phoodie says:

    You forgot Sunny Anderson, she of fake tabby weave.

    • Meg says:

      You mean the Sunny that has lived everywhere, done everything and is an authority on everything? What cracks me up is that she does commercials for VIVA towels but on her show, the paper towel dispenser on the counter that she uses are the industrial brown ones. She gets real tiring.

  9. Spork-no-more says:

    I love the whole concept of your site. No other foodie English major has noted the misspelled disclaimer at the bottom of the screen “”We are not assicoated with The Food Network”? Or perhaps it’s intentional?

  10. Food Network Humor Staff says:

    Thanks for bringing that to our attention, Spork! It was a typo, and it’s been fixed.

  11. Randi says:

    Love this site! I just spent the past hour reading everything and can’t stop laughing!

  12. Carol Faver says:

    Oh,I am in pain from laughing! Your whole website is “spot on” from beginning to end and written with enough familiarity for everyone to know you have to be a huge FN fan to get all this perfectly correct. I’ll be back for more….thanks for the funstuff!!!

  13. Sonia says:

    Lol…Oh my god this is the best!!! I have laughed my ass off!!! I love the bios, it is just insane!! Keep it up guys!!!!

  14. Lori Bangs says:

    hey, Wikipedia says that Guy Fieri’s name is actually Ferry, but he changed it. What a wanker.

    • Casey83 says:

      Well, wouldn’t you if you had a name like that? I mean John Cleese’s father changed his name to Cleese when it was really Cheese.

    • DoctorSheryl says:

      Yeah, my husband and I stumbled on Guy’s hometown when we were camping in Northern California. It is a cute old town called “Fortuna”. We walked into a bake shop, saw personal photos posted up of Guy and the gal in the shop said she went to school w/Guy — she was ridiculing that he changed his name. Wonder if he changed the pronounciation from Guy “Fairy” right before he went on “The Next Food Network Star”?

      • Erica says:

        I went to college with a girl who went all through high school with Guy Ferry. She was so excited to know someone on TV when he was on NFNS. But boy does she laugh and laugh that he changed his name from ‘Fairy’ to ‘Fieri’. I guess he got teased all the time in high school.
        I don’t know if I entirely blam him if he was hoping to get a TV deal, but I think it’s lame he can’t be true to who he was.

      • Denise says:

        Actually, I grew up with Guy. He grew up in Ferndale, CA. The original spelling of his name is not Fairy, but Ferry. He just got teased that way. He is a few years older than me, but was always nice and friendly. Not a big fan of the look now or the glasses on the back of the head, but he still does a lot for the community.

  15. Spoonula says:

    Where has this website been all my life? I love it. I fell out of my chair with the Alton Brown and Giada bio. Love you guys.

  16. AMD says:

    LOL at the Robin Miller comment by CEE about her stuff being “half-assed at ethnic food” haha *high five* and yeah I love this website, it’s HILARIOUS.. and I thought I was the only one who noticed all those lame-o quirks those chefs and people have haha…

  17. Sandra says:

    LMAO this is so funny and so true! I love the food network, not a food snob and love this humor cause it’s actually true. *grinning ear to ear like Giada*

  18. Shannon Johnston says:

    This was so fun to find. Actually got here from Food Network itself – yes, its my homepage… Not sure I totally agree with the whole Tyler Florence ego stuff, but you are right about $80 for a frickkin casserole! LOL.

    Love Rachael, worried about her health. I think she looks fake cuz she’s in trouble.

    But beyond that, your daytime drama stuff totally cracked me up. BTW, I do believe Guy Fieri’s name is actually Guido Fieri. Might be spelling that last name wrong. Hey, I’m Scottish, not Italian.

    Foodies RULE!!!!!!

  19. John says:

    I had not seen Tyler F for a few years and saw him recently. My lord, his head has become a big, fat, unstructure swollen mess with eyes hanging off the sides! I almost sent him money to cure that. What happened? How did he become a tub o’ goo??

  20. John says:

    I had not seen Tyler F for a few years and saw him recently. My lord, his head has become a big, fat, unstructured swollen mess with eyes hanging off the sides! I almost sent him money to cure that. What happened? How did he become a tub o’ goo??

    • liz d says:

      if you really listen, tyler says “alright” before almost every sentence!!!really, listen carefully, it comes out sounding like ‘…right” but it drives me crazy.

      • Erica says:

        He also says ‘Bam’ after he throws in a spice or something. I think he’s trying to be Emril since “Bam!” is Emril’s catchphrase. My husband and I will sometimes TiVo Tyler’s show and turn it into a drinking game for how many times he says ‘Boom’.

      • Rainn says:

        I just finished watching an episode of Tyler’s Ultimate and you are so right on the money (do I dare quote Guy Fieri) He does say “alright” at the end of every other sentence. I liked him better on How to Boil Water, alright

      • Lips says:

        Actually, I noticed too and it’s more like “awwwiiight?” LMAO!

  21. Steven says:

    Does Guy Fieri know something that I don’t? He keeps telling me to ‘look at the flavors’ he’s cooking. He either knows how to tase with his corneas or his food could kill me if I ate it. He doesn’t need that on his conscience too.

  22. Tatiana says:

    On this week’s Sandra Lee Money Saving Meals, she raves about the fabulous flavor that SALT gives to food. What a ninny.

  23. Victoria says:

    What’s next Aunt Sandy, telling me that coupons are free and will save me money?

  24. Byrdie says:

    I just watched the show (in rerun from yesterday) from start to finish (UGH). Nevermind the food. To cook her “money saving” meals, she used the following: All Clad saucier, saute pan, large sauce pan, and the large pasta pot; net cost about $1000. Then she used a food processor at a cost of about $200. I don’t know where she came up with that onion chopper thing except during late night tv (“but wait! there’s more!!) at a cost of $19.95 (plus shipping and handling). Then there’s the mini blender for her money saving garlic chopping, probably another $20 bucks. The calphalon slow cooker retails for about $150. So just in cookware and appliances, she’s up to about $1400. If she (or FN) want to make a point of saving money, how about taking out a knife to manually slice and chop and then use pots and pans from WalMart? And if you don’t have alot of money, what up with cooking a dessert that cost more than the freakin dinners? I don’t get it. I really don’t.

  25. maria says:

    me and my husband just sat here and read almost the entire website!
    AWESOME

  26. THIS WEBSITE SUCKS!!!!! says:

    WHO EVER MADE THIS WEBSITE IS A LOSER AND EVERYONE THAT COMES ON THIS WEBSITE AND ACTUALLY READ EVERYTHING ON HERE IS A LOSER…U CAN’T STAND THE PEOPLE ON THE FOOD NETWORK AND YET YOU HAVE TIME TO MAKE A WEBSITE AND TALK ABOUT EVERY PERSON ON THERE I THINK YOU ARE JUST JEALOUS AND NEED TO FIND SOMETHING ELSE TO DO WITH YOUR TIME

    • Joe NYC says:

      RE: THIS WEBSITE SUCKS!!!!!!

      Uh, Oh, looks like someone hit a nerve with one of the FN “chefs”! My guess is Rachel Ray.

      • Abe says:

        My guess — since their diatribe is in all caps, which = YELLING — is that it’s one of the FN folks who typically lose their temper and start yelling anytime they don’t get their way (Bobby Flay).

    • TheDudeMan says:

      I don’t think this is a comment from Rachel Ray, but probably from Giada’s husband/in the closest gay guy. Yes this site does nail it pretty good one the FN stars. Rock on with the nerd, Alton is definitely my favorite with Bobby next. Yea it is hard to just say Bobby and not Bobby Flay. Keep eating, foodies and keep the humor coming.

      • pete says:

        I don’t agree with all the praises that alton is getting I don’t care which came first the chicken or the egg I just want to eat them. Really don’t like him.

    • Bonzy22 says:

      wow a certain case of “pot calling kettle”. but then again, this d**sh probably doesn’t even know what it means

    • Sigrid says:

      There are some REAL cranky people out there!

    • chris says:

      dude you need to chill…. i think this site is spot on and you don`t like it!!! , well try watching some of these shows sometime, seriously, cause food network used to be classy and now it is a complete parody of its self!!!

    • Jay Chefs-a-lot says:

      First thing is STOP YELLING AT US!!! We can hear you just fine from where we are sitting.

      “B”, learn to use your punctuation marks so we can get the drift of your feeble rant.

      And finally, humor is the lubricant that not only helps us through this life, but acts as a pressure release to keep us from going Rambo on your A$$!

      In the immortal words of Sergeant Hulka, “Lighten up Francis.”

    • Qlex says:

      Dear heavens, please pull the stick out of your ass.

  27. Byrdie says:

    What’s your point, Sucks?

  28. Pete says:

    Giada’s head seems much too large for that little body. Did this happen after she became a star or did her mom just have to push a little harder? Over the years I have noticed that the bigger the smile the larger her boobs got. I told my wife about this and she has been smiling for over a month. Unfortunately she hasn’t experienced an increase in bra size.

    • chris says:

      her head looks larger because she doesn`t gain any weight , she only eats two bites per meal .. then goes out and wind surfs and then yoga , then she has to work on those facial muscles . that takes a lot out of girl ….

  29. Sonya Bailey says:

    I was just reading all the blogs posted on here and I have to say that I am truly angry about what people have to say about the stars on this channel. I happened to be a big fan of Down Home With The Neely’s because my husband and I act the same way they do however, I am not from TN. I live in B’more. I would love to meet them in person because they have fun about each other and what they do whether or not something is nasty or what. People that have negative things to say needs to get a life and stop hating on my brother and sister and the love they have together. Gina and Pat keep up the good work. My husband and I watch you every saturday and yes, you guys do bring back alot of memories.

    • Anne says:

      Thank you,Sonya Bailey. I love in SC and I LOVE The Neelys.
      I watch them everyday just after Barefoot Contessa (love her) and right before Paula Deen (love her). The Food Network is my absolutely favorite channel. I watch Big Daddy’s House on Sunday and look forward to it each week.
      Why the negativity on all of these shows. Put the average Joe on TV to cook and see how darned hard it would be. I could never do it.

    • Antony says:

      “hating on my brother and sister…” Are you seriously playing the race card? You suck.

    • Meg says:

      Gina doesn’t talk, she YELLS. And her prancing around, sexual innuendos, giving orders, her goofy tinkle, tinkle, tinkle when putting spices in food is just intolerable. That’s all PLUS the usual BS you hear from these two horny toads. The “spice fairy” indeed!

      • enuf pink pigs already says:

        I think that since their show is produced by Gordon Elliot as well as Paul “Ya’ll” Deen’s show they are made to be fakeish just like Paula. I was in Savannah yesterday and didn’t hear a single person say Ya’ll one time. As far as the Neeley’s I think that when they are alone that Gina is a control freak. I mean the looks that she gives to poor Pat sometime just kills me. I have one fundamental question.. is “Big Daddy” gay? I know he has a son, but so does my brother and hes gay. He just seems gay to me, and he reminds me of the mother character from “The Clumps”. I like to watch him cook though. I would love to try some of his recipes, but I can’t afford a $3000 grill yet. I think Guy Fieddi and Ann Burrell are siblings.. Giada’s chest seems to get bigger every episode… I think one day she will have to start binding herself or one of her boobs will get caught in the food processor. Well thank you guys for reading my comments, and remember laughter is the best medicine ever.

    • Bonzy22 says:

      then wtf you doing here? geez some sheeple!

    • Foodie says:

      Ahhh! How very sweet, always down with the love thing,Buutttt ur not on national TV asking ur husband for his sausage are you? Smirk Smirk………….

  30. nancy says:

    Hey Sonya Bailey. First of all this is not a fan site for the ass kissing Neely fans. What, by posting here in support of these two horndogs you think they might read your comments & get in touch? Gees! Also if you & your hubby act just like them I hope it’s not in a public place. As for bringing back alot of memories is that mean making out after school behind the stands? Just saying.

  31. stephanie says:

    yeah it’s pitiful pitiful jerks

  32. Carole E. says:

    For the record: You can only appreciate this web site if you are a faithful fan of the Food Network. Love it or leave it, we are all addicted to most things “food.” That being said, there is nothing wrong with poking fun at these people, they are after all stars with chinks in their armor. But the first requirement to appreciate this web site is that you have a SENSE OF HUMOR! If you can’t see through that, then mosey on, as they say on Twitter, “There’s nothing for you here,”

  33. Marie says:

    Pure Awesomeness! I love the Food Network, and love this site! As was said earlier, I’m glad I’m not the only one noticing these quirks in the shows. But I have a question, on Good Eats, Alton appears to be a serious dork, wearing Hawaiian shirts and such, but has some humility, but when you see him on The Next Food Network Star or any other show, he appears so serious and snooty, which is the true him? I hope the dorky one.

  34. Jane says:

    What’s with Sunny’s “how’d that get on my plate”? why dont they call it what it is, “unwrapped 2 with a woman host” Also, I don’t need one of her childhood stories every time there is some downtime in “Cooking for Real” It’s, downtime, deal with it genuinely. :P

  35. Lizzie says:

    I have to agree with Carole E. about being addicted to FN; it’s a train wreck yet I still can’t look away. Appreciation of this site certainly does require a sense of humor, which most people (in the U.S. at least) seem to be sorely lacking. As to jealousy of people like Sandra Lee, not even close; I can actually cook. I’m not afraid of slicing an onion or chopping garlic, and I have a high enough I.Q. and possess enough common sense to already realize most of her “money-saving” tips anyway.

    I really can’t get over her advice about salt adding flavor. I knew that when I was five. Thanks for nothing Aunt Sandy. I find the concept of a money-saving tip show really nice, but having the queen of expensive, name-brand and prepackaged ingredients hosting it is just too hypocritical to be believed.

    As for the Neely’s, they should just do the show from their bedroom.

    Keep up the great job Food Network Humor.

  36. Crabby says:

    Hilarious site. I love me some Ina and Giada BUT yoy guys are hilarious. Loves it:)

  37. Kat Knapp says:

    My take on Alton Brown at the new Food Network star dinner was that he appeared to be really embarrassed to be in that situation and uncomfortable in the company of so many phonies and hypocrits, ie. Susie Fogelson and Bob T. Also, perhaps the embarrassment of suspecting/knowing ? what a hoax it was caused him to appear to be in pain. I just discovered this webite, hooray and thank you!

    • Mimi says:

      All these “chefs” (cooks, etc.) that have shows on Food Network may have their own personality; however, at the end of the day, they are basically scripted as to what to say, how to say it, what to wear, how to look/dress, etc. (i.e. the Susie’s/Bob’s of Corporate Food Network!) Does anyone know how much these TV personalities get paid anyway?! Obviously they think it’s worth it to sign and try to keep a contract to keep their show(s) going on Food Network. Point is, you CAN see SOME of their OWN personalities coming through, but to what degree, who really knows?! I watch various Food Network shows for varying reasons, for me as a woman/foodie it’s mostly for the various food/recipe/ideas/inspiration, but RARELY is it for their (mostly fake) personalities, in my opinion. The diction and delivery for most of these people who have shows are quite limited and repetitive (not saying I could do better, just sayin’ they’re not good at it as a rule!) lol They just get fatter and older (of course now Alton’s lost 50 lb. so he’s on another dimension now, as well as Bobby Flay keeps himself trim, but both of them seem to speak weirdly now that they’ve lost the weight and look a bit “gaunt”, and of course Giada was going to lose all her preggers weight by doing her yoga at her trillion dollar new house on the beach with her husband Todd taking care of their kid and showing him surfing on every show)! lol It’s all basically very staged and fake to me, not realistic in cost effectiveness for most people to be able to afford a lot of the food they make, they’re just cooks trying to be actors and a lot of money is shelled out on this whole thing (Food Network), so to me, it’s just another TV station making a lot of money and people can either watch it or not. I don’t watch it as much as I used to because it’s so ridiculous and fake, combined with the various lame personalities and I can only take so much of that sort of thing. It’s all extreme overkill and NOT “just about cooking” at all, which is supposedly the goal of FN is to get people hooked on it so it stays on the air, which I’m sure it will. Most of the people make me sick, to be perfectly honest! lol I don’t care because I will never meet these people and they don’t give a crap about anyone anyway! lol They’re rich and most of the rest of us aren’t! lol I think the stuff written in here is true and funny as hell! I think people who come in here to defend their beloved FN personalities don’t really need to come to this website, because, “WHY”?! If you don’t want to read anything about FN bullsh*%, then don’t come to this website! lol I think Bobby Flay is an a-hole (but he’s been TRYING to be “nicer” maybe because they told him to tone his smart-a** self down some?) Rachel Ray is a big-mouth, loud-mouth, who’s become very self-promoting about her dogfood helping other charity and all that crap, Paula has become a bit more FAKE and she’s always hitting on all the young men and slobbering all over them like she is with her sons which is creepy, Sandra Lee is like a wannabe Martha Stewart but she’s too “sweet” to be, Giada is ignorant and her gigantic horse smile and huge boobs pouring out of her v-neck tops and her over-pronunciation of words is just hideous and she’s so boring and uninventive, Emeril finally got smart and basically told FN to screw off and went to Fine Living channel, The Neelys should set up a mattress in the kitchen and screw while raising their arms up to the stove to stir the pots, Alton is now like a converted smoker and putting down fat people because he’s not fat anymore and he goes between being sarcastic and Mr. Geek (although I have always liked his food), Guy is just getting fat eating grease and just says “money” all the time with his white hair and sunglasses, Ina only has rich Jewish friends and gays and Jeffrey speaks and eats upon command, and ALL the women on these shows are such total CONTROL FREAKS it’s unbelievable, like they would cut your throat if they didn’t get their way, the older shows I used to like aren’t on the air anymore, they’ve got to keep so much fake BS going on, it’s just killed it for me. I like British TV a lot better actually… I’m American but lived in UK with my hub, but just sayin’… they don’t really FRONT about things as much in general… FN is just a bunch of BS and I still watch a few programs which I like OK enough and can tolerate them enough to watch them, but it’s just that you have to be able to overlook the BS.

      • Kare says:

        :( Wall of text… oh God…

      • Bonzy22 says:

        I liked your post. it was spot on!

      • Andrea says:

        I just happened to stumble upon this website when typing in does anyone dislike Rachael Ray, and I only wish I had found it sooner. this is probably one of the most hilarious websites I have ever seen, and what makes it so funny is that it’s true, because of this site watching the FN is almost unbearable. just to look at these clowns now knowing what their all about and how full of it they are. some people just hate to face the ugly truth about something or someone, I for one appreciate the fact that now I’m not one of the mindless fans who adore these fakes unknowing of the real monster that lurks beneath. this post was so true it’s scary it sums up everything we discussed and disliked about the FN in a nut-shell. lets face it FN will never have anyone who can save their image because their heads are too far up their A%*# I have moved on to the Travel Channel.

      • Raynard says:

        Damn Mimi! Are you finished?

        Tyler is a bit “active,” but the guy has some really good recipies. I like his presentation.

        I think the Neely’s come on so strong to compensate for Pat’s “sexuality.”
        Y’ALL know that dude is light in his loafers. “Ain’t that right Baaaby?”

        Alton is o.k., but I’d much rather cook with heart and soul than turn it into a science project.

        Giada, thank God for famous last names. Gotta catch the show when her Aunt comes visiting from Italy. She takes Giada done a couple of pegs about her cooking style. It’s funny as HELL!

        Anne Burrell- I hope you don’t stick your nose and fingers in the food when working at the restaurant. No customer wants snot & saliva in their food.

        People, don’t take this website so damn SERIOUSLY!
        That’s all I have for now.
        Peace

      • chris says:

        i could not agree more!!!! especially about giada, she was so much better and easier to watch when she wasn`t
        ” at home” , i used to like her but now she annoys the shit out me!!!

      • Crushed says:

        Ever hear of paragraphing a bunch of crap such as the crap you just wrote?

  38. Brad says:

    OMG, me and my gf watch FN religiously and have honestly had most if not all of these conversations. This website is fantastic and I personally applaud all who joke and quip about our beloved chefs and the other people who try so hard.

  39. Freezezzy says:

    OMG!! lmao

    I was watching ‘All Star Grill Fest: South Beach’.

    Paula just called Bobby Flay… wait for it… Bobby Lou!!!

    Bobby called her on it, and she actually said that it’s what she calls her son (Bobby).

    I just about fell over laughing when I heard that.

    • robin says:

      I can only say you must not be from the South. Everyone here tacks Lou onto any and every name ending in a ‘y’. It is a term of affection.
      Meanwhile, Love this site!
      I despise watching Sandra Lee, she is probably very nice if she ever unwinds, but GOODNIGHT, what a total control freak.

      • Mimi says:

        OMIGOD the women are SUCH CONTROL FREAKS it’s unreal! Sandra, GIADA is an obsessed control freak- (1) she never makes enough food for everyone to go around, then (2) she tells them where to sit, how much they can eat and God forbid if they go back for 2nds!, (3) then she tells them when to STOP eating and (4) when they can eat dessert, when to breathe, when to do EVERY SINGLE THING! She is a FREAK! She puts down people SO much! I would hate to be her husband or kid! lol I love when her Aunt Raffi was on her show because she tells Giada off everytime! lol Paul is a control freak, Gina even gets snippy with Pat who worships her dirty drawers! lol Rachel Ray– OMIGOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It’s almost like you feel sorry for their spouses and children! lol I did hear Bobby Flay’s Texan wife get smart with him one time– that was funny! lol

      • SkippyMom says:

        Um, no we don’t [tack Lou onto the end of every name ending in a Y]. Please don’t insult all of us with that ridiculous, sweeping generalization. His name may be Robert Louis.

        Paula still sounds like a tool when she does it tho’. I appreciate a good southernism as much as the next non – Yankee, but tacking “Lou” onto a name is not one of them.

  40. Viv says:

    Love discovering this web site. I laugh out loud every day I read it. Thanks for the pleasure you bring!

  41. amodgrl says:

    PLEASE do HGTV next!!!

  42. Sus says:

    I LOVE your site! I watch the Food Network, often, and it is uncanny how “on point” (just kidding…he makes me want to slap a baby) you are about these people. Well done.

  43. JohnLuvsFoodNetwork says:

    this website is the “super super simple russipie” for “yummo,” “good,” “not half bad,” and “AH-MAY-ZIIIING” fun! Luv this!

  44. neely and rachel fan says:

    This site is really hilarious. My boyfriend calls me a “foodie”, but I caught him getting engrossed in The Next Food Network Star”..lmao…I thought we were the only ones who found Giada’s head much bigger than her body, but she is still very good at what she does and so are most of the other hosts/hostesses. I appreciate a little humor and what better way to do it than with a network we all love….

  45. Amanda says:

    You guys forgot about Danny Boome, the hunky British host of Rescue Chef. Where’s his bio? Last I saw him was on Regis and Kelly for a date a celebrity segment. I was jealous and wished it was me that won a date with him. Food Network needs to bring in some single hunky guys that cook, then I’ll definitely be tuning in.

    • Mimi says:

      Yeah, everytime they get a half-way decent show host or even a good show, they take it off the air! Only the robot-goofball-FN icons stay… (or token shows FN think people want to watch!)

  46. Loves2Dish says:

    OMG: This site is 100% pure!!! Am a FN junkie, but am so sick of it recently, they have TOO many shows on, and the NFNS is a joke…where do they come up with these contestants???? Aaron McCargo is AWFUL…I am sure they have already decided that the Korean whale Kim Chee, Debbie is going to win…and she is so hard on the eyes….she looks like she has been run over by a steam roller in the face…always wears nazi-style boots, and a tent to cover her kimchee….she is as far from a “southern girl” as Giada “my head is so huge it affects the rotation of the earth” DeLaurentiis…Love Bobby Flay, Ina (“just cooking for more of my destitute but hilarious gay friends while my husband is out making money to support my fatness”)Garten, but Paula Deen (Hey Y’all, I’m making traditional southern coq a vin—she’ll add grits to make it “southern”, all her food makes me ill…not to mention the Rachel Ray network. She is too old to be “cutesy” although she does do those 30-min meals pretty well…Love this site!

  47. JOHN says:

    Hate to be nit-picky but Giada “overenunicates” not “overannunciates”. Overannunciation sounds like some sort of arcane Catholic transgression. Her vivid enunciation of Italian words does not bother me but I do find her freaklishly large head and tiny body a little disturbing. She looks like a living doll – a bobblehead doll.

  48. renfro says:

    You are right on – on every personality. My only other comment would be for the Food Network to take that god-awful nasty giada (SP?) to be pulled from ever being on TV or any published photographs – ever. God that horrid smile is dreadful.

    • Mimi says:

      Yes, but did you ever see her photo layout in Esquire magazine where she was scantily clad and had marinara sauce poured all over her entire body?! It was freakin’ horrifying and disgusting, but they were promoting how sexy she was (saying it was food porn)… oh yeah, it was choice..

  49. Dani Saunders says:

    This site is too funny…Some folks need to get a sense of humor. In fact Tyler Florence finds it funny to poke fun of him….He linked this site on his website, that is how I found it!

  50. Chet T. says:

    I stumbeld across this site, and laughed by ass off reading some of the commments posted.
    I feel that Giada, Rachel, The Neely’s, Sunny Anderson, and Tyler Florence shouldn’t have shows.
    Giada should tell people how to pronounce her name correctly. I hate hearing people say it ” G-Ah-dah “. Rachel Ray seems like a phony. The Neely’s are just annoying, Sunny Anderson should have made a carreer out of the Military, and Tyler Florence is probably the least talented of anyone I’ve seen on The Food Network.
    Whomever told Guy Fieri his wrap around sunglasses looked cool on the backof his mouli should be lined up next to him, and shot along with him.
    Sandra Lee is at least fun to look at!
    I know some people that actually know Bobby Flay, and say he is really talented. His shows are worth a look.
    The people that think Giada and Rachel are good food show hosts, many I know, are the same people who hated MARTHA STEWART and EMERIL. Martha and Emeril at least really paid their dues, and have some talent.
    I enjoyed reading these posts.
    Keep it up!

    • robin says:

      The shows I seriously dislike are Chopped and the Next Iron Chef. I mean we are talking about some seriously talented and hard-working chefs being given crap like dippity-do and melba toast and told to make something delicious. Riiiiight. Then they have to stand in front of a bunch of tight bottomed prigs as if they’ve been sent to the principal’s office and take the verbal crap dished out to them with a curtsey and their hat in their hands. Makes me sick. I boycott these stupid shows now. Sure, a chef isn’t allowed to have a bad day, but let’s be fo’ real no chef I know would find themselves caught out with nothing but fish-paste and brill cream on the pantry shelf.

      • Vicky says:

        lmao – dippity-do and melba toast. Sadly, these ingredients sound a bit better than some of the ones they were actually given! Thanks for the laugh!

      • Mimi says:

        I agree that the degree of humiliation dished out on those “judged” shows is awful, pathetic, disgusting, non-entertaining, whatsoever! And this godawful new one “Worse Cook In America”?! HOW HORRIBLE THAT IS GOING TO BE?! They are grabbing at straws and coming up VERY short of new ideas that are good.

      • JML says:

        On the other hand, WHY would any self-repscting chef agree to be on the “Chopped” show…..knowing he is subject to that humiliation? I recently watched a Chopped show where they had brought back some second place finishers. Now THEY are BEYOND STUPID!! It’s NOT worth a mediocre chance at $10,000.

    • stacy says:

      Anthoney Bourdain…Now he’s a real chef! He was always too good for Food Network.I just Love his Travel show.

  51. sara says:

    hilarious!!! love ur website..cant believe i didnt think of it myself…i’ve been a huge food network fan growing up…its startin to become lame though…they get criticized for not being diverse enough, so they start stereotypical black shows and throw in a lesbian or two…its so stupid. diversity doesnt mean u water down ur shows. u can find diverse chefs that actually have talent and are not stereotypical caricatures…

  52. Susan says:

    frickin hilarious

  53. Chet T. says:

    The executives made a GREAT MOVE in replacing Robert Irvine w/ Michael Simon on DINNER IMPOSSIBLE.
    When the decision was made to have Michael Simon join the IRON CHEF panel, a search should have been made to replace him on DINNER IMPOSSIBLE, or to eliminate the show altogether.
    To give the show back to Robert Irvine was a mistake.

    • Meg says:

      DINNER IMPOSSIBLE is about the most “do nothing” show on FN. Can’t stand Irvine. The show teaches nothing and is a waste of time.

      It’s almost as bad as IRON CHEF. The Chairman needs to take his gymnastics and silk shirts back to where he came from and stay there. The chefs are all right but the show doesn’t have much of a point. They never fix anything normal people would eat.

      I have developed abnormal speed with hitting the remote when either of these (plus a few others) come on. AND THE RERUNS ARE TOO DAMNED OFTEN!

      • SkippyMom says:

        Isn’t is called Dinner Impossible for a reason? They aren’t there [neccessarily] to teach us how to cook on this show – they are there to try to see if they can cook something for a large number of people in a short amount of time using hard to procure or odd ingredients.
        It’s a challenge show that involves cooking. Not a cooking show to challenge you.
        It’s called entertainment. It’s also called the Food Network – not the Learn How to Cook on Every Episode Network – otherwise half of the people starring on it would be out of a job.
        Sorry – but I didn’t think your assessment was fair. I don’t need to know how to make beans and franks for 400 campers – but I sure do like to watch him try.

  54. rachelina says:

    FINALLY!
    My boyfriend and I discovered this delectable website one night while hating on an episode of “Chopped” (or, Top Chef jr.) while searching online for someone, ANYONE, who could understand why we can’t stomach Alex Guarnaschelli.
    Oh the joy!
    It was so fulfilling to read other people saying the same things we have said over and over while watching FN!
    Don’t get me wrong- we love to watch FN, but it just seems like it’s become increasingly cheesy especially in the last two years, which, actually, just makes it all that much more fun for us to watch!
    THANK YOU for creating this!
    How can I contribute??

    • robin says:

      FN has gotten pretty lame lately, which is why I switched to Nickolodean for insomnia attacks, but now they have fallen in love with George Lopez marathons. Hey, I like Georgie, but could we be a little more ecumenical. FN pleeeeeeeeze start running something worthwhile again. I’m begging, there are only so many channels that don’t run scary-ass movie commercials in the middle of the night.
      PS Alex Guarnaschelli sucks.

      • Mimi says:

        Alex Guarnaschelli is a bitch. I cannot imagine HOW she believes her sh*& doesn’t stink?! OMIGOD!

      • chris says:

        i seriously think food network is out of good ideas, and it will only get worse , they are already on a downward spiral, look at the last food network star?? i could not even watch it .

    • DeBorah says:

      I rate Alex at five tapeworms. The poor thing must be starving with all the judging shows she keeps popping up on. Has anyone ever seen her cook?

  55. MissNancy says:

    I actually love watching 3. I really feel like I’m in the kitchen with Tyler Florence.. LOVE “Tyler’s Ultimate” and “Food 911″ he’s a natural; the NEELEY’s are ADORABLE.. you can really tell they love each other and love food… and Alton Brown – gosh… I learn something from him every time I watch “Good Eats”.. knowledgeable and entertaining!

    I actually stumbled into this site and think it’s a little cruel to ridicule these hosts of FN… but it’s your right… we DO live in America… best to all!!

    • Mimi says:

      I wish I were this naive… but, NO, actually I don’t! lol

    • steffie says:

      the neely’s “adorable”????? they are SO PHONY!!!! that fake sickening laugh pat does all the time, and gina pretending she’s nice. they can’t act their way out of a paper bag.

  56. Memoria says:

    I love Tyler Florence’s Ultimate show, but I do agree that he says “off the charts” a lot haha. He also says “absolutely fantastic” or “absolutely” a lot, too. Listen for it the next it comes on haha.

    Also, has anyone noticed how many instructions Giada gives on how to do the obvious? I guess she says those things to fill in pauses, but it is sometimes annoying.

    The one thing I DO like about her show, however, is the fact that she is one of the few cooks who pronounces the Italian terms correctly. Too many of the FN cooks pronounce non-English words incorrectly. For example, they pronounce “jalapeño”, “habañero”, “bruschetta”, “provolone”, etc incorrectly. You would think someone would teach them how to say these words right! I remember when Giada taught Bobby (Flay LOL) how to pronounce “provolone” correctly. Right on!

    I love this website. Too funny!

    • Fisher says:

      I know. Every time someone on Food Network pronounces panko ‘painko’, I want to scream. It’s not that hard; pronounce it how it looks: ‘pan-ko’.

      Great website. It’s fun to laugh at the stars/hosts even if we like them.
      And what do you think of Danny Boome and Jamie Oliver?

      • Mimi says:

        I lived in England and watched Jamie over there… he’s gotten the Big Head… he’s acting like he’s Food Jesus or something, maybe even Food God… lol

      • Sigrid says:

        Jamie totally cracks me up –kneeling in his gravel patio, chopping food on a wooden crate. cooking in what looks like a utility shed. Really! It’s pretentious to be that unassuming!

    • Ironsteel says:

      I’m sorry, Memoria, but half of my family came right off the boat from different parts of Italy, and NONE of them prounounce bruschetta BRUE-SKE-TA, OR MOZZ-A-RELLLA.

      Actually, as an Italian, I find her act kind of offensive…she’s a joke!

      …nice boobs, though ;)

      • Mimi says:

        I HATE how Giada says how (“we Italian’s”) “do it this way in Italy”, when she did NOT GROW UP IN ITALY! She’s living now where she’s lived for most of her life (except her France stint going to cookery school), which she lives in CALIFORNIA near L.A.! Her family is Italian and came from there, but she did NOT grow up there at all! She’s so fake and full of herself and BS it’s ridiculous!

      • JML says:

        Being Italian, I agree that she does NOT always pronounce words correctly and, in general, over emphasizes some words. That being said, I watch her show often for the “v-neck scenery”. LOL I just hit the mute button so her talking doesn’t ruin the view.

  57. Jimbo says:

    Uh,
    You guys forgot Marc Summers. Perhaps the dullest man on Food Network and perhaps the dullest man in America with the dullest show of all time called ‘Unwrapped.”

    I’d like to see “Cash Cab’s” Ben Bailey flatten his ass on the ground.

  58. hermitycrab says:

    Oh god, Marc Summers. Um yeah, how and why?

    Bobblehead with giant, freakishly over-toothed mouth: Giada. Used to watch her show, until I realized it was in fact the same three dishes over and over. (Also was becoming annoyed by her boobs. Why are they always out? And what’s up with the porn-like background music that’s often too loud in spots?)

    Bobby Flay is also irritating to me. Makes his three dishes over and over as well. Seems to have a bit of arrogance going on. (He also gets my vote for “Worst Make-Up on FN”.)

    Second for “Worst Make-Up” brings me to Paula, y’all. Actually used to watch her every day, but after a while I found her to be too ridiculous. (And why does she keep trying to cram her boring “boys” down our throats? Blatantly obnoxious.) Don’t even know what to say about “Paula’s Party”….

    All I can say about Sandra Lee is ?????? (And gag.)

    Wow, thanks for this venue. Really needed to vent. :)

    • Mimi says:

      Giada makes everything “creamy, shuugury, buttery, carmely, nutty” (I misspelled the words purposely as she pronounces them this way)! She makes EVERYTHING with “mahscapony” cheese and “bazil” and now she’s on the California Salad kick. She is boring and uninventive and her fill-in talking is so ludicrous it’s annoying and unbelievable how she cannot pronounce words properly when she thinks she is perfect. She only cares about herself and her food and fakes the rest about her family, she’s got very obvious issues and is very selfish, self-centered, self-absorbed, and it shows, but yeah, nobody’s perfect… (oh right, she thinks she is!?) lol

      • chris says:

        did you see the episode when Todd is talking to Jade and saying ” you will understand how high maintanence mommy is like i have” , i nearly fell out of my chair lol……..

  59. Tatiana says:

    @Hermitycrab. I agree with you completely. I also to watch Giada until I, too, realized she has a repertoire of about 5 dishes and 12 ingredients that she uses over and over and over. Snore. As for Booby, well, he must hold stock in the “new” Food Network; it’s the only explanation for such a boring tool to be on at least 10 hours out of each TFN day.

  60. kayjay says:

    This site is great. I am a big fan of the madison sisters on pophangover and now foodnetworkhumor

  61. Rod Labbe says:

    This is an abolutely hilarious website! You nailed the Food Network to a “t.”

    I used to like Paula until I happened to catch one of her so-called “parties.” She invited some military men up to “rub their meat” and kept making lewd comments about “rubbing meat” as they sheepishly stood there and wondered why someone their mama’s age was a dirty old lady.

    The Neely’s are fun, but watch out about criticizing them. You’ll be called a hater, for sure. I do feel sorry for their 14 year old, who was on one show I caught. She looked like she’d rather be anywhere but there, listening to her horny parents rattle on and on.

    Sandra Lee is all bright and chipper, trying to compensate for her truly heinous childhood. She muckles onto her neice and nephew but strangely has no kids of her own. Very telling!

    Ina Garten is fun to watch, too. There’s one particular musical theme that’s used in every episode, and I have visions of Ina shaking her enormous booty as she pinwheels around that gorgeous kitchen. Enter, Miquel, who snaps a pic or two. And then the gay florist comes in wearing his sweater around his neck and provides a faaabulous bouquet for Ina’s debut as a dancing elephant.

    Emeril is just fat. He’d look great at 6 feet 2 inches. Unfortunately, he’s 5 feet 7.

    Giada should be glad her grampa made schlocky movies like the 1976 King Kong. It gave her the money to indulge her habits, like cooking with Italian ham. And the way she pronounces all those Italian words, with such flair! It makes me wonder why she’s putting herself through the misery of living in the US. Italia’s calling, honey!

    Whatever happened to those two gay guys who catered? The Network showed them the door rather quickly. In fact, except for Guy, hasn’t every winner of the “next Food Network star” been given their walking papers?

    I liked Rachel Ray when her hair was lighter. When she went to black, she went coal black. And she also packed on a few pounds. And is there something different about the way her 30 minute meal show is filmed? Has it gone from videotape to film?

    Personally, I like Unwrapped and think it’s the best show on the Food Network. Ah, that’s because I’m a Baby Boomer, and a lot of the stuff they feature I ate as a kid.

    Long live this site!

    • robin says:

      I miss Nigella Lawson. At least she is intelligent and doesn’t apologize for it.

      • Ironsteel says:

        Nigella Lawson is hot, but can also cook, which is a lot more than the rest of the FN bimbos can say.

        Hell of a sexy voice, too.

      • FayFay says:

        What the hell is Nigella always smiling about?. I suppose she thinks it makes her show and herself more appealing, but really it makes me want to smack that grin off her face. It’s as if there’s something very naughty going on in her peripheral vision. Pair that with the sidelong glances and not so subtle eyebrow lift she has, and I start to wonder if I’m really watching a cooking show or something else. That having been said, she is a good cook and I watch her on Cooking Channel sometimes. OH! OH! Did anyone see her on the Today show? She was making a shepherd’s pie and Matt Lauer told her ON CAMERA that it looked disgusting and that he wouldn’t eat something that looked like that. I was very impressed with her restraint as I personally would have brained him with a ladle.

      • Lips says:

        I think Nigella is one of the worst on FN! It’s like she is trying to make love to the camera with those cheesy come hither looks.

    • Mimi says:

      I also miss Nigella Lawson, as I said before, they always take off the good, decent, smart, informative, well-made shows and keep the crap rolling on and on and on and on… (Bobby Flay’s BBQ, Paula Deen’s drawling on about young men’s meat, Giada’s pseudo-Italian-like poop, and all those demeaning judge shows they’ve put on, etc.). The rest are just plain stupid and a waste of time. Sorry to see the good ones gone (Melting Pot, even Mario’s old show Molto Mario, Sweet Dreams wasn’t bad, and certainly again, all of Nigella’s shows, even Jamie’s were pretty good, now they’re ALL GONE)… FN has really developed bad taste in recent times…

    • Bonzy22 says:

      spot on on all this.

  62. [...] anyone seen this?  I just ran across it the other day and laughed my ass off! Check out the Host Bios…I bet you’ll get a few good [...]

  63. Mandafoodie says:

    Keep this going, it’s a breath of fresh air. I love FN but visiting your site is like sitting in the back of home-ec class, bagging on the substitute. Awesome, immature fun.

  64. Sandy says:

    I am a lifelong member of the “I Hate Rachel Ray” website!

  65. Candace says:

    Ina Garten’s name should be changed to Imma Farten. She is so uptight I bet she has to run out to her garten when she’s farten. AND I never did understand why she wears the same damn big shirt with the collar turned up every damn day. I mean come on woman you live in the Hamptons you can afford more than one mumu!

    • Robert says:

      I so agree. Ina Garten is a mess and is an embarassment to anyone who ever lived in the Hamptons. Of course, as fat as she is she has the choice of oversized shirts or circus tents. Any one of her recipes are something that a 9th grade Home-Ec student could pull off and probably do it better. The Barefoot Contessa was not all she makes it out to be. Dirty, over-priced and none of the food was as great as she would lead us to believe. The woman is a flipping joke and has the culinary skills of a hamster. The only thing she has going for her is money and her own disillusionment that she knows what she is doing in the kitchen. Jeffrey…geez, don’t even get me started on that moron. I hate Ina Garten and they should cancel her show as each of them has aired about a hundred times already. Stop wasting the airtime.

    • Crushed says:

      Barefoot Contessa?

      How about Bigfat Contessa??

  66. Opinionated says:

    Aaron McCargo Jr – Says “Big Daddy” 459,253 times per show.

    Adam Gertler – “will do anything to stay on tv”

    Ask Aida – Gimme a break – change the name of the show to “If you’re an idiot in the kitchen, go find Aida”

    Alton Brown – was a scientist in a past life.

    Bobby Flay – God’s re-gift to the grill.

    Duff Goldman – never seen him

    Giada – Cover the boobs woman! You do know that over exposure to the lights and camera’s could cause cancer?!?

    Guy – Never watched him

    Ina – Love her and her gentle ways.

    The Neeley’s – Change the name of their show to “Porn on a Plate”

    Paula Deen – Get rid of the fake laugh and I’ll love you more. Who can’t love a gal who loves butta? BTW who taught you to say “Boil”?

    Rachel Ray – Chill Out a bit … you’re trying too hard.

    Sandra Lee – “M”oney saving “M”eals. Not sure where you do your shopping but your price quotes are 45% lower than what I pay.

    • robin says:

      Southerners all say bowuhld instead of boyle for boil, don’t ask

      • Geechie says:

        Not true Robin. I am a native of SC and I say boil exactly like Paula. True she does over exaggerate her southern “ness” but some of her pronunciations are dead on.

      • Katt says:

        Not true. Everyone in my household say boyle instead of bowuhld. Though, my family from Ohio say bowuhld. It kind of creepy how interested in Louisiana, the food especially, my grandmother from Ohio is. Seriously, beignets are nothing special but she acted like it was given to her by god when I made them for her.

  67. Butterfly says:

    I Love this site! I am so glad to know there are other foodies out there that think these same things! I cannot stand the Neeleys, Rachael Ray’s cutesy quotes “yummo”, “Kiddos”, ect. get on my nerves and I can’t stand watching their shows. I laughed so hard reading some of the bios on here.

    Also- @Marie-June 11, 2009- I have personally met Alton Brown, he was a guest speaker at our local home and garden show two years ago. He arrived with disheveled hair and a laid-back appearance. He talked about everything from Good Eats to what he would like to see in the future of FN television (smell/taste-ovision)and also joked about Rachael Ray and Paula Deen. He commented on Rachael’s voice (Like nails on a chalkboard), and Paula Deen’s (I need 20 sticks of butter y’all.) He came across as very down to earth and personable. I was able to get my picture taken with him and his cookbook signed too, so it was a really great day. Hope that answers the questions you had…

    • Mimi says:

      Glad to hear AB’s really as down to earth as he SOMETIMES seems on FN, but I guess when he’s “acting” on FN it’s what he HAS to do on there for the show?! Anyway, that’s cool you met him and he was all right…

  68. edie says:

    why do you look at the shows if you feel this way about them it seems like you only watch to make fun

  69. FROG LEGS says:

    It’s called “Humor” Edie! Get some!!!!

  70. sterno-man says:

    Listen,pal-it just so happens I taped that Tyler Florence episode. I then watched it again and counted: he said “off the charts” only 4,891 times (although 7 of those times it was the complete sentence).
    P.S. to ‘Opinionated’: If you would please start shopping at Harrods of London, you will find Sandra Lee’s price quotes are not out of line at all!

  71. sterno-man says:

    Seriously, how does Guy Fieri and his crew get away with it? I’ve cooked in quite a few restaurants in my time, and the lack of sanitation practices is appalling. If I were the manager and he walked into my kitchen looking like that, I’d have no choice but to kick his butt right out of there! No vinyl gloves, no apron, no hair net or hat, eating right on the Cook’s Line- it makes me sick just thinking about it. I am also amazed you don’t see any of the customers in these places getting up and leaving- I would. The man is a County Health Department’s worst nightmare come true, and shame on the Food Network for keeping Guy Fieri on the payroll!

    • Barbara says:

      I love to cook and I’ve been watching FN for a few years now and it’s gotten to the point that I will not go out to eat anymore. If these TV chefs forget they are being filmed and use the same spoon to dip into the food repeatedly to taste, I can’t even imagine how terrible it must get behind closed doors in their restaurant’s kitchens. Chefs get cold sores on their mouths, catch the flu, get colds, etc. Then you also have those who insist on using their bare hands to mix food with their jewelry still on. Nurses cannot have long fingernails anymore due to all the bacteria and virus germs harboring underneath. I wish someone would do an article on how many of the FN chefs are so blatantly guilty of these dirty habits. FN won’t edit these clips out even.

    • FayFay says:

      Can you IMAGINE finding one of those horrid product crusted bleached blonde hairs in your food? I’d never eat again.

  72. Zombie Gangster says:

    Look – anyone who thinks Paula Deen is a true Southern woman is fooled – just like FN wants you to be. She puts on this fake Southern drawl that magically disappears whenever she wants it to. I’ve seen her before, “behind the scenes”, and while she has a moderate Southern accent (like most of us do), once she gets back in front of the camera, she lays it on thick again.

    My husband and I have always said that she deliberately exagerrates the accent to get more viewers (meaning thicker Southern drawl = better Southern cooking) and I guess it works.

    Doesn’t work for this Southern girl.

    And another thing, Paula Deen. WIPE YOUR DAMN MOUTH and quit taking such big ass nasty bites of food. You don’t need to take a soup ladle to test your food. Use a fork like most people do, and take human sized bites. Don’t try and put half the damn pie on your fork, and then get whipped cream all over your chin and then laugh that cackly laugh and think it’s cute. It’s NOT cute. It’s disgusting and turns my stomach.

    • Mimi says:

      Paula and Giada make me sickened and disgusted and repulsed with cramming their huge mouths with HUGE mountains of food and TALKING whilst doing it! OMIGOD! It’s so horrible to hear them smacking, slurping, swallowing, gulping, chewing, crunching, and making sex noises all the while! You’re right, it’s SO NOT CUTE and it really shows them up to be stupid twats! lol

    • Lylarose says:

      OMG YOU CRACKED ME UP I WAS LAUGHING OUT LOUD! SO TRUE!

  73. Klaus says:

    What a treasure! Finally, someone puts the energy to set up a site that tells it like it is.

    I love Giada, but we have a game we play with our friends. Every time she says the word “creamy” we take a shot of Bailey’s or whatever. By the end of her show, we are all plastered. She is gorgeous in a over-the-top way, but when she says “creamy” or “crunch” she makes a fist with her midget-like gnarled fingers. Have you seen that?

    Sandra Lee, we play the same game with her show when she talks about her nephew “Bricer.” Horrible recipes. Repulsive ingredients. Like cooking using ingredients from the supermarket dumpster. By the time she reveals her horrorscape, we are drunk.

    Ina-some great recipes, but I do NOT want to watch her serve another meal on the beach. She also says “How good is this?” billions of times. She has more gays than Kathy Griffin.

    Guy Fierri-big fat slob who features restaurants that cater to big fat slobs.

    Bobby Flay-please, no more grilled mangos.

    Ellie what’s her name-Your colored contacts are very “natural.” I will not be making any tofu, lemongrass, low-fat everything, sesame seed, parsley recipes anytime soon.

    Neeley’s-How many times do we need to see you make ribs for all your shifty relatives. One of the Mom’s is severely uptight.

    Mark Summers-the most boring man of all time. I fell asleep writing that.

    Paula Deen-great wigs. I assume she will be taking over the Eva Gabor line soon. When is her book “Butter, Mayonnaise, Cream Cheese” coming out? And when is her other son doing the same?

    Ted Allen-you are not fabulous. Adorkable maybe but not fabulous.

    That’s all for now. Klaus

  74. FROG LEGS says:

    Watching Paula Deen today with Aaron “Big Daddy”, frying Okra, dipping their fingers in the dip for a double dip & lick, then they high fived each other with the same hands!
    Oh and Aaron……Nice nail polish YOLE!!!

  75. Byrdie says:

    Klaus, great overview! Love the Ina comments. I will never understand why the choose to be on the beach when everytime they are go, there are hurricane force winds blowing and sand flying. How good could that be?

  76. Klaus says:

    Byrdie, brilliant minds think alike . . . Yes, it’s always SO windy when Ina trots out to the shore. They have to dub the dialogue in since it’s all “Perfect Storm” happening and the wind is whistling through her $1000.00 wicker picnic basket.

    Also, I cannot watch “Iron Chef.” First of all, that annoying Asian man, who is he? He screams and startles me. Why does he make such a big thing and scream at the top of his voice: “THE SURPRISE INGREDIENT IS JELLY BEANS!!!!!”

    Can’t they just say, “the surprise ingredient is peanut butter”? In a normal voice, not scaring me out of my nap?

    Not only that, but every time the scene changes, they do that horrible “knives being pulled out of a metal scabbard” sound, which I CANNOT listen to.

    And also, why do they have to cook so fast? Poor Kat Kora is running around like a meth addict trying to finish her dishes. Give me a break, since when is it a skill to cook things faster than the speed of light.

    Also, when did Guy Fierri’s sister get her own show “Secrets of A Restuarant Chef”?? She says “lovely” about 100 times per half hour, and does that weird motion with her arms to indicate “blending.” Can someone tell me who she is and how did she ever get on television?

    • Mimi says:

      Iron Chef is horrible and traumatic.

      • Meg says:

        And they replay the same ones WAAAY too often. Did they finally get rid of the awful Jeffrey Steingarten as a judge? He is a self-absorbed, obnoxious, rude ass.

        • FayFay says:

          Oh my GOD he is! I can’t stand him! He pretends to be so picky and particular, but he didn’t get that big eating tiny portions at fancy pants restaurants. He probably has an assistant whose only job is to provide him with a constant supply of triple Whoppers. He probably has a fifty five gallon drum of Miracle Whip in his office, and I’m willing to bet it sits right next to the Jello Instant Pudding dispenser. Saturday nights find him shoving Twinkies in his mouth two at a time and washing them down with Cold Duck. Shut up, you pretentious jerk!

          • PunChayTah says:

            HaHa oh damn I peed my pants..its gonna take a heck of a hose to wash that image from my brain

          • Flavorphile says:

            Ha ha hahaaa! “He probably has a fifty five gallon drum of Miracle Whip in his office, and I’m willing to bet it sits right next to the Jello Instant Pudding dispenser” I’m crying from laughing so hard!! HA!!

    • angel says:

      HAHAHA!
      You know I always thought that was Guy Fierri’s brotherrr….

  77. Byrdie says:

    Klaus, you mean you don’t have a $1000 picnic basket? Tsk tsk. That’s a shame. Might explain why she only gave two clams to each of her guests as a amuse-bouche! East Hampton and you can only afford a dozen clams? Reminds me of when she’s having yet another dinner party with her gay guys, she only buys one bottle of wine for the entire table. Maybe it’s me, but ONE BOTTLE??

    And now, my friend, we must take a step back and disagree. (It could have been such a beautiful friendship) (sigh)…anyway, “secrets of a restr chef” is Anne Burrell. Many do not like her but, alas, I do like her. She’s a restauranteur and a chef, actually worked with Mario Batalli on Iron Chef. She beats the crap out of Rachael Ray, Pauler “Poopy” Dean and the rest of the hacks on FN. Hope we can still be civil…..

    • abebush says:

      Anne Burrell used to be un-watchable due to her horrendously exaggerated body gestures that she made every 10 seconds, when describing just about anything.

      However, she seems to have lost the very annoying body gestures thank God and now her other odd behaviours and sayings are kinda funny and endearing.

      She’s kinda weird, but fun to watch now that she has lost the body gestures. I’m glad that someone must have told her to quit doing that!

      Abe

    • Carmen says:

      Good job byrdie. I saw Anne as su chef for Mario ten yes ago I think. I think she’s pretty cool. Kill me I actually like her.

  78. Olive Loahf says:

    Whoah…Where to start? Gina Neeley’s voice is like having your fingernails ripped off, and I agree their bedroom antics are unwatchable, but like someone already mentioned, Food TV Network is a trainwreck and now I watch it more to make fun of the obvious buffoonery of most of the hosts. I enjoy Ina Garten & Jaime Oliver…they seem to be the only ones left that have not turned into cartoon characters. Paula is so obnoxious…not so bad when she’s “alone” in the kitchen…I miss the Old Paula, when she seemed like the fun, lovely neighbor down the street. Now she has that platinum blonde Old Hooker hair and is dripping in diamonds that she dips her buttered paws into everything. Ask Aida is so ridiculous with that guy up in the corner and his laptop. Have the programmers @FTV been sniffing glue? It does give us a great laugh or a teeth grinding rant, and I guess it does count as entertainment. Great Website, it’s my new Fave!!! Keep it Up!

    • Mimi says:

      Oh but no, Paula’s hair isn’t platinum blonde, it’s BLUE STEEL PURPLE GRAY now! MY GOD those false eyelashes are like freakin’ 2 inches long and so black hanging off her eyelids! TOO MUCH! I guess her head has to be made large to balance out the bottom half of her body?! All those pastel ice cream parlor colored clothes she wears! It’s as bad as the TV soap opera clothes they wear like on the Bold and Beautiful! lol

      • LaserLiza says:

        Pauler looks like some kind of alien who stares into your soul. “That’s right… coat it in butter, y’all. Get all fat so I can eat your brains, y’all.” Am I right?

  79. Klaus says:

    O Byrdie, no worries. I will trade you Anne Burrell (is she related to Rusty Burrell of “The People’s Court”?) for Michael Chiarello and his fake wife. I wasn’t really trashing her (believe me); I was just curious about her since I have heard not one mention of her on this site. She does oversay “lovely” and uses that unusual roller derby gesture to indicate melding and blending of flavors. She seems to follow Julia Child classic recipes, so good for her.

    I will deem her a “hands off” zone, unless she releases a sex tape or soemthing, agreed? Just leave my next ex-husband MC alone!

    The FN used to be a great resource, but now it’s like a nasty trainwreck that I cannot help but watch.

    It all started with Paula Deen and her “Cracker Salad” which I still make for delighted guests, until I tell them what’s in it.

  80. Byrdie says:

    Ok, Klaus, we are still buds. Nobody can agree on everything, now can we? And if the sex tape comes out, poleezzee, I don’t want to see it. I like her but, well, not her butt. She’s a little “out there”, but she really seems to love food and for me, that’s what it’s all about. And what exactly is (gulp) cracker (oh, I know I shouldn’t ask) salad? And MC is all yours!!

  81. Klaus says:

    Ok, then we are in agreement. Wir sind eine Meinung!

    Paula’s Cracker Salad

    Crumble one sleeve of saltines into a bowl;
    Add one medium tomato, medium dice
    de-shell a hard boiled egg and crush it into the bowl with your hand (the egg, not the shell)
    plop enough mayo on top of it all to bind and moisten the ingredients as you stir them together;
    clip some green onions into the mischung, 2 tablespoons or so.
    Chill. Serve in a small lettuce cup

    My guests scrape the bowl in a frenzy, until they realize what the ingredients are. Then they never eat it again.

    In complete friendship, Klaus

    • steffie says:

      klaus you are hysterically funny and that salad actually sounds good but i would throw a can of tuna in the mix!!!! (or some diced spam hhhmmmm i’m gettin hungry!!!)

    • stoup says:

      I made that cracker vomit once. My kids refused to eat it.
      Pauler Deen must have mayonnaise running through her veins!

    • Bonzy22 says:

      Klaus I love reading your comments. I know I’m like a year late, but oh well. You should be a writer on the FNH site!

  82. Byrdie says:

    Klaus, I KNEW KNEW KNEW I shouldn’t have asked. Ok, thanks for sharing, my friend. (man, I have GOT to be more careful about what I ask next time….gak)

  83. Aaron whatshisname is just too Ghetto, he talks like he has marbles in his mouth.

    Ina is lovely, calm and hasn’t been turned into a Food Network Ass-Clown…yet. Don’t care for the Denim shirts.

    The Neeleys (especially Gina) are annoying and lewd.

    Cool-Whip Sandy’s food and tablescapes are Barfbag worthy.

    Whenever Giada has her family are in the show, she bosses them around and makes them look stupid. Come on, this is cooking, not Nuclear Physics.

    Becoming a Chef must have saved Tyler Florence’s life, I get the impression that without it, he would weigh about 700 lbs and be living in a basement in Alabama.

    Paula Dean started out just fine, then the “Geniouses” @FTV
    exploited her “Poisonality” and they created a Frankenstein monster. Her Y’alls, Olive Ol, and “whatcha fixin son,? Hand me that “Son,” Do you like cheese on that “Son”?” And her laugh…it almost justifies homicide. That fat toad husband nuzzling up to her…

    Schlockmeister Emeril…Impossible to follow his recipes, he can complicate chocolate milk. I get it already Emeril, you’re a trained chef, just don’t make me feel I should go to Havaaad to learn how to mince a garlic clove.

    Jaime Oliver’s charming lisp and down to earth, sexy way of touching and cooking food is what really hooked me into the FTV Network. Of course they have him on early Saturday mornings. Wouldn’t want the brilliance of the Clown Posse to get lost in that crummy time slot!

    Bobby Flay is a prick. And his grilling shows are Boring. But we all know that.

    What’s with the pot bellied peroxide blonde Chef? And I don’t mean Guy.

    Cooking for Real? This Sunny woman needs help from “What not to Wear” immediately. She looks like an Orange Tabby exploded right in the kitchen. Can’t get past that and her subpar, silly recipes.

    I’ve learned some things from Michael Chiarello, like browning the chicken first to make a richer chicken stock. And how to relax in my Napa Valley Vineyard while the stock slowly simmers. OK, sitting at the keyboard in my rented condo.

    Terrific website, Funny and a great comic relief!

  84. Olive Loahf says:

    I would love to see Aunt Sandy show up univited to Ina’s gay lunches and try to change the “Tablescape”.

    Hi Ina, it’s Sandy!
    Ina looks back at her horrified guests and mutters…How did this skinny bitch get past security in the Hamptons?

    Oh Ina, it’s all so Plain! Let’s lose the green Chrysanthemums and white table cloth. I have a Carnival green punchbowl with my Cinamon-Applebutter Schnaaps and Vodka Sandy-Punch with little sail-boats floating on top. We will continue the Carnival theme with my Ferris-Wheel frozen meat-balls with grape jelly mold. I made the tablecloth out of pink and green felt to match the Fishstick Carousel that I iced with matchy-color cream cheese. And for dessert, Surprize!!! Cool Whip Fat Lady Mold with an Artificial Vanilla Sandy Sauce Supreme.

    The Gay guests faint…Ina’s on life support scribbling…”How bad is that?”

  85. FROG LEGS says:

    ……………..but wait Olive Loahf!! Just then Brian Boitono skates in gives Ina mouth to mouth. That’s what Brian Boitano would do!!!!

  86. NFNS says:

    Comments from the NFNS 5:
    Jen: (I agree with Jamika.) She wanted to win because she was pretty. Annoying PWT.
    Brett made friends by calling everyone “Bubba” in a strong NY accent.
    Eddie should shut his pie hole and go back to being a corporate guy.
    Teddy should go back to making his Throwdown-winning mussels.
    Katie SERIOUSLY needs to get her thyroid checked. (Bug-eyes) She admitted in her FN bio that she “secretly loves bacon.” Is that a dietitian sin??? Her show shoulda been called the “Dancing Dietician.”
    Michael is Michael. Being not-straight made him the best and most annoying personality on the show!
    Jamika: I liked her, but we didn’t need another southern/island cooking show.
    Debbie. Liked her too, until the last few episodes.
    Jeffery needs the Just For Men hair replacement stuff. And Shampoo. Someone needs to replace his gel with car oil. Maybe it is already! He was a butt to the ladies. Except for Melissa. I questioned what happened “behind the scenes.” Would have been a good story, since they’re both married with kids. NO PURPLE/PINK SHIRTS. OK?
    Melissa. Still is the “Harried Housewife.” Frenetic energy problem, Remember??? Cheap set. The show names never stay the same as they are in the Pilots, now do they!

    My fave vote was Jamika, then Debbie, Michael, Katie, Melissa, Jeffery. (No Teddy/Eddie/Brett or Jen.

  87. Lexi says:

    Can you please put together an article about how STUPID the idea for Mellisa D’Arabians show is?? I mean how many “10 dollar dinners” have we had?? Wasnt there a show called Five dollar dinners at one time?? I think the pilot presentation idea was much better.

  88. Kenneth says:

    Did Zimmern really say that about Tyler Florence?

  89. Kenneth says:

    Haha, it is true, I looked it up… those blogs were hilarious!

  90. pit cook says:

    Has anyone else noticed that both Ted Allen and Aaron Sanchez have given out a lot of information as to where they live on “The Best Thing I Ever Ate”? That should be helpful information for all the little weirdos out there who would like to stalk them.

  91. pit cook says:

    By the way, I am glad that Melissa won NFNS. Last year, watching self-loathing, self-doubting, emotional wreck Aaron McCargo, who has the personality of an old nervous woman being handed the competition was more than I could bear. They wanted sooooo bad for him to be Isaac Hayes. Has anyone noticed the music they put behind him? It sounds like the theme from Shaft. I’m sorry, but he is more feminine than masculine, and take those silly earrings out! By the way, I will bet he never even heard the name “Big Daddy” til they were preparing to shoot his pilot. Whew! I feel better now.

  92. FROG LEGS says:

    In Season 4 Pit Cook, Kelsey kept referring, annoyingly to Arron as Big Daddy. His head is so big, I think that is why he wears that big ol bling in his ears.

    Oh, & someone needs to give Bobby Flay a Manzeer, or a Bro or at least an undershirt!

  93. I couldn’t keep my eyes off of Sandra Lee’s latest Tablescape. Well she starts out with a white outfit with cherries and green leaves and a white shirt over that, the curtains are of course Cherries!!
    Tablescape: Exploding cherries with cheap red glass goblets & plates and fake flowers and leaves…Everywhere. I think there was a hot glue-gun casserole in there somewhere…
    And she presented all this with unbridled enthusiasm, breathlessly explaining how “easy & simple” all this craft-store trash was. Sure, when you have a staff of 20 people helping you make Hamburger Helper a La Sandy with frozen mashed potatos…

  94. Olive Loahf says:

    Porn Alert!!!

    The Neeleys are being featured in Food Network TV’s “Chefology”

    This might involve visual aids with fruits & vegetables
    Wear latex gloves and keep the Lysol handy

  95. Peanut Buttah says:

    FNh is lol

  96. pit cook says:

    Does Duff Goldman remind anyone else of “The Count” from Sesame Street?

  97. FROG LEGS says:

    Now that you mention it…………….

  98. CherryRose says:

    “I would love to see Aunt Sandy show up univited to Ina’s gay lunches and try to change the “Tablescape”…

    Respectfully edited. Your post is soooo funny, OliveLoahf, especially when recalling an episode of “Barefoot Contessa” during which Ina pokes fun at ‘tablescapes’. No name is mentioned, of course, but the inference is so obvious that you could stick a shrimp fork in it!

    • Sigrid says:

      I saw the episode where Ina got a little snippy about Sandra’s dining room dioramas. I commented on it before I saw your post. It would be fun (for someone twisted like me, anyway) to see a few food feuds get going.

  99. NFNS says:

    Alton Brown is skinny. Sardines? EEW! Who could eat that many sardines? Now, he needs botox or something. He looks 10 years older.

    • Mimi says:

      Alton looks terrible now– all his moles and warts and stuff really stand out and he looks even more grayish/whitish/pasty than he ever did before? He even speaks differently, like someone too thin who got that way because of cocaine or something or like he was ill and got skinny– ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww Bags under the eyes, etc., but at least he cut that 3 strings of hair he had let grow out… that was even MORE horrible! He looked terrible with that stringy dishwater color hair too long… yuk!

  100. NFNS says:

    Ina Garten needs better makeup. And wrinkle cream. And hair-voluminizer. Even though it is not a word, she needs it.

  101. red snapper says:

    YESSS! INA NEEDS A MAKEOVER HONEY! maybe one of her gay friends can do itt

    • Mimi says:

      Ina just wears the same shirts, same hair, same makeup always. I don’t think changing her clothes, hair, and makeup is going to do much and she probably knows that deep down because she is just so very GIGANTIC, but she and Jeffrey are filthy, dirty, rich, period and she’s got lots of gay and Jewish friends so she probably doesn’t care! lol

  102. herman munster says:

    wheres NIGELLA LAWSON? the queen of food porn she definately needs to come back to FN

  103. lady mumbaza says:

    alton brown! that sweet man has gone an got himmself all to skinny. come to mamas house and i feed u some reall home cookin iluv u sweet cheekss

  104. Olive Loahf says:

    CherryRose states:

    “recalling an episode of “Barefoot Contessa” during which Ina pokes fun at ‘tablescapes’.”

    Respectfully edited as well. That’s exactly what inspired me to post Aunt Sandy terrorizing Ina, we were watching Barefoot Contessa when Ina made the exact same reference and we looked at each other and busted out laughing. Like you stated, it was so obvious. I can see Ina & Jeffrey drinking French Champagne and throwing hydrangeas at the TV screen as Aunt Sandy pulls out a couple cans of Dinty Moore for her 70% fake dinner…

  105. Nancy-Too says:

    omg! This is a Great Site!
    I spent all morning reading. I laughed til my face ached!

    I thought I was the only one who noticed these funny & odd things about FN shows.

    Have you ever wondered how she stays that thin IF she actually eats the food on her shows? Have you Ever Seen her Actually Swallow her ‘test bites’? I picture the camera turning back to the demo plate as she spits the ‘test bite’ into the sink.

    I just watched the first episode of “Ten Dollar Meals”. It’s another train wreck. Melissa gushed on and ON about how Much people will love you, if you make ‘home-made pastry’. Ugh! Well, at least I don’t have to save this time on Sunday for her show.

    Rachael has a new ‘ad’ for her Bakewear! Rachael doesn’t bake. What’s this?

    My favs are Ina, AB, and Jaimie Oliver.

    Fantastic site! Thanks!

    (i just found it today. It was mentioned on Anthony Bourdain’s blog)

  106. britt says:

    This site makes me so happy. Food network is such a joke. I only watch ace of cakes because I am from that area of MD. Guy you make us Californians want to puke and your nasty if i saw you walk into one of our dives wearing flip flops and eating over the prep tables i would pop you in the mouth.
    Bobby Flay Do you need to throw down to prove your superiority and make other normal people feel bad about what their specialty is?
    Neely’s your annoying get a room
    Rachel your the devil
    Sandra poor people hate you and your expensive food processor
    Although Mr Oliver your a sexy beast please get on a different network. Thank god Anthony Bordain got the hell off this network.

  107. FreshHerbs says:

    For anyone that enjoyed Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, please affirm or deny that Ted Allen was the weakest link on that show. He tried to hard to be part of every joke (watch the beginning when they trash straight guy’s house, he is always touching or grinding on the others awkwardly) and did not seem that confident in the kitchen with any of his straight muses….and now, as many have discovered in hollywood, it is not about talent discovery, but sheer luck and timing that he is on every other episode of every terrible peer reviewed judging mess of a show.

    also, alex guarnaschelli is insufferable. she needs to lose the upper west side accent, 40 lbs. and beef up that resume (has anyone eaten at BUTTER ?) …. she is brutal to watch.

  108. oh_come_on says:

    Melissa ~ ugh, don’t even get me started. Just wrote another letter to Bob & Susie about their deliberate resurrection of Amy Finley. Remember her? Faux-French?

    Melissa’s cooking in Amy’s refurb-ed kitchen.

    ALL of her recipes are either Ina knock-offs, or retreads of other FN chefs. They sent someone home for ‘copying’ a Paula recipe.

    P.S. When my then 8-year-old saw Giada for the first time she thought she looked just like a Bratt — HUGE head, TINY body!

  109. Klaus says:

    @Fresh herbs: OMG, you’ve nailed it. Ted Allen IS a weak link, in all situations. I could never understand why he tried to get the guys to make some complicated dish or presentation (oyster bar, chocolate terrine) instead of things you prepare for life: roast chicken, chocolate cake, caesar salad, etc. He’s no cooking god for sure, and not even nice to look at. His clipped style of speaking seems prissy, haughty and super judgmental. He is a know-it-all that doesn’t really come across as an authority. Now Kyan and Tom on the other hand . . .

    • foodness says:

      Kyan & Tom were the best — & not gay. Not that there’s anything wrong with that (again, yes) but never was convinced on that point. Ted’s best advice, “life is too short for cheap alchohol” — maybe Sandy should take that advice. Husband tried making one of her meals once & was distracted by the cocktail portion. Following the instructions as he is inclined to do at times, let’s just say the semi-homemade didn’t even end up semi-resembling the intended dish.

  110. Kim H says:

    “Jaime Oliver’s charming lisp and down to earth, sexy way of touching and cooking food is what really hooked me into the FTV Network. Of course they have him on early Saturday mornings. Wouldn’t want the brilliance of the Clown Posse to get lost in that crummy time slot!”

    Actually, he was on later until he decided it would be ok to suffocate some baby chicks on a show he did. Needless to say, they moved him into another slot after that little episode. I personally will not watch him because of that.

    • Mimi says:

      He’s not the same charming bloke he used to be when he first got ‘famous’… he got quite stroppy with his last series JAMIE AT HOME… I won’t support him on his Jamie-Jesus kick… nah… he’s OK but he’s not THAT great… he used to be better back when he first started out… a lot of these people are like that, they start out “nice” but end up a-holes…

  111. Byrdie says:

    @Kim H – he did what to what? Baby chicks? What, pray tell, are you talking about?

  112. Jun says:

    @Kim H. Wha…? Was he planning to eat them?

  113. Byrdie says:

    Ok, I looked it up. Seems Jamie is an activist on the mistreatment of animals, so he had some baby chicks on his show, let the audience pet them, then at some point he killed them (the chicks, not the audience) and fed one of the chicks to a snake. This was his way of educating the public on the violent way feed animals are killed. Wow.

  114. Jun says:

    @Byrdie. Maybe his show wasn’t the best venue for that kind of activism though. Way to gross out/alienate your audience.

  115. Kim H says:

    “This was his way of educating the public on the violent way feed animals are killed”

    Yep. Nice huh? I get the stance he “tried” to make but how he did it just revolted me. He also electrocuted a rooster I believe.

    It was too bad because I liked the premise of his show – showing one ingredient in different ways. I just can’t watch him now without feeling ill.

  116. Byrdie says:

    I’m on your side, Jun. It’s a little weird-o-rama for me.

  117. Byrdie says:

    Kim, good thing he wasn’t making hamburgers that day…

  118. Kim H says:

    “Kim, good thing he wasn’t making hamburgers that day…”

    LOL. Too true!

  119. Olive Loahf says:

    I’d like a recipe for those baby chicks. Maybe they’re like soft-shell crabs, you can even chew the tender little bones. I would hope there’s a pork sausage stuffing for them as well.

    I personally would like Vegan’s fed to the snake, now that would be entertaining.

  120. FROG LEGS says:

    ……yea, right after basting them with chicken fat and sticking a hot dog down their throat!!!!

  121. mariam says:

    This is soo funny!
    add melissa here as well, I can’t stand her!

  122. Olive Loahf says:

    I love Jaime Oliver’s show more than ever!!! The PETA people can go over to “Christina Cooks like Stalin” on Create TV and get a recipe for Wheat Groat Soy content non Dairy Wheat-Loaf witha Soy Milk Gravy and Pomegranite Bathroom Tile Frog-Sprout salad side.

  123. Jun says:

    @Olive Loahf. Your latest posts are making me gag. Yecch.

  124. Tootie says:

    Guy Fieri. Be sure to pronounce that you’re peddling pizzas in Naples. “Fee-ehdi,” my ass. Get over yourself, man. You’re not cool and your shows are stupid.

  125. Ryan Tillman says:

    Did someone say the Neelys were being featured in a new Chefography ? I thought you neeeded to be a chef ?

    Where were they chefs ? In a state prison ? Seriously.

    If they are chefs, then I’m the new Shah of Iran.

  126. CherryRose says:

    “Did someone say the Neelys were being featured in a new Chefography ?”

    I hope there will be a warning before the show airs that says: Some material may not be suitable for all audience ;)

  127. Ryan Tillman says:

    The warning should also state that “some subject matter contains scenes that only 12 people in the United States of America really care about and is intended for Neely family members with cable TV only “.

  128. Byrdie says:

    My hope is that somebody else but me will watch it and then report back here. I can’t stand those two. For god’s sake, get a freakin room!

    • Mimi says:

      I can’t STOMACH the Neely’s and I can NEVER force myself to watch a single minute of their shows, they are disgusting.

  129. Jun says:

    @Byrdie. I caught like 3 minutes of their show today. As soon as Gina started to make the legs of a cornish hen dance, I changed the channel.

  130. FROG LEGS says:

    Just caught Chefography of Paula Deen. Can’t complain. What a life!? Bobby Flay’s Chefography just started. The announcer says, ‘Bobby Flay IS New York’. That was it!! I’m done. Hork!

  131. Olive Loahf says:

    Jun, making you gag was intentional. Just go ahead and spit.

  132. Olive Loahf says:

    Jaime Oliver electrocuted a Rooster? Seems like alot of work to me. When I make Coc Au Vin, I just get a meat cleaver whack the Old Cock on the neck, pluck it and rinse and cut it up. I’m a bigger fan of Jaime now, it seems like elecrocution is quicker and more modern.

    But don’t tell Jun that, she may throw up on your kitchen counter.

    • graciegal says:

      This bit just isn’t workin’ for ya, Olive. Seems pretty clear you shot your wad with your tablescapes post and you now seem to think that every word emanating from your fingertips is chortle-worthy. Think again. We get it. You eat meat (terrific), you have no use for folks who do not (it’s a free country), and you delight in trying to shock people with infantile animal yarns. *brrrinnnng!* Time for recess!!

  133. Jun says:

    I love watching Bobby Flay cook with Stephanie March. It’s so adorable.

    • boops says:

      I like Bobby Flay also, he seems down to earth. I don’t use many of his recipes because he’s too much into hot and spicy food. Everything has chili peppers in them. However, I really enjoy his shows. When he cooks with his wife, Stephanie March, you can actually see when he looks at her that he loves her. As opposed to giAAAAADDDA sneering at TOOOODDD.

  134. Jun says:

    Anybody catch Chefs vs. City last week? Doesn’t the premise seem really pointless? No prize except bragging rights, too.

  135. Luz Stewels says:

    I’m a big fan of Ina Garten, although the first time i saw her show “Barefoot Contessa” the words “Ina Garten” were in the bottom of the opening shot. I thought “Ina Garten” was swedish for “In the Garden”. So much for my ignorance.

    What really cracks me up is at the end of all the Barefoot Contessa everybody starts laughing at the most improbable things… for example:

    I added Kalamata olives….HAAAAAAAAAAAAAA….HAAAA.HAAAA
    That’s Guyere cheese on that tart….HAAAAAAAAAA…Ha..Haaaa
    Do you really like it? HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA….Ha….Ha…Ha
    That’s Belgian bittersweet chocolate!!! Haaaaaaaaaa…Ha..Ha
    Whose gonna clean up? HAAAAAAAAAAAAA….Ha..Gay Ha Ha Ha!

    • graciegal says:

      HHHAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHahahaha!!
      Really! I started reading your post aloud, realized I was “reading” a laugh, which made me…laugh. Time for bed. Thanks for the beddy-bye giggle!

    • liz d says:

      soooooo true!!! they always laugh really hard at the end.

  136. Tatiana says:

    Ina Garten being Swedish – BWAHAHAHAHHAHA!

  137. Kim H says:

    After watching the “chefography” of Giada, I ended up feeling kinda sorry for her. Her childhood looked lonely and you really had to feel for her when she was just starting out. That being said, I wish she would remember her “love of cooking” and get rid of the superficial shit on her website….

    “Anybody catch Chefs vs. City last week? Doesn’t the premise seem really pointless”

    I did. It was dumb. Looks like another hit for FN!

  138. Olive Loahf says:

    Is it me, or are the Neely family guests Hostile? There are some serious negative attitudes going on here. They just don’t seem very pleased to be at the table. I think it’s the mac & cheese w/bacon and potato chip topping that murdered some of the other Rel-A-Tivs. Is it any wonder that the South has the biggest Obesity Problem?

    I think it’s Fel-O-Ny not Fel-O-Neely

  139. Jun says:

    I watched most of the Sandra Lee Chefography. I think most of these are designed so we feel sorry for them.

  140. DesignerJeans says:

    The Chefographys are PR campaigns. Take them all with a spoon of salt, remember, these came from the same folks that brought you Sandra Lee and the Circus that is the Next Food Network Star.

    I bet they even filmed Giada (did they mention that De Laurentis is not her true last name?) in front of some pots and pans.

    And expect those pots and pans to be showing up at a Bed Bath and Beyond near you this holiday season.

  141. Olive Loahf says:

    Jun…You are you sniffing glue? Bobby Flay and Stephanie Starch adorable? So is eating raw chicken. Get a clue.

  142. Olive Loahf says:

    God Bless Jamie Oliver! Integrity…what a concept!!!

  143. Kenneth says:

    I’m surprised it’s not “Iron Chef America with Bobby Flay”

  144. Laura says:

    @ Olive Olaf: I’d be hostile too if I were constantly being reminded by my hosts that “This is MY house”, or “This is MY kitchen.” It seems to me that the Neelys say that a lot!

  145. FROG LEGS says:

    Robin Millers eyes.

    o O
    ^
    u

  146. Lavenderazalea says:

    What about Ellie Kreiger who reads recipies like she’s at GNC< Vitamin,ABCDEFGH.

  147. Sarah says:

    I think of felony when I think of the Neelys.

    • Laws says:

      HUH?
      It’s cool to joke about these FN shows and hosts, but dang, wtf kind of comment is this?
      What does a felony (or crime in general) have to do with anything? They’re cooks/restaurant owners; who says they’re felons?
      Jeez. Get over your brown fears and get real.

  148. Ferd says:

    I love Giada, her giant marshmallow-shaped head and tiny squirrel hands. Perfect!

  149. FROG LEGS says:

    Ever notice they rarely film Giada’s profile?
    What a Shnozz! And that big ass grin?
    Whoa!

    http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_8KVGEZEUltI/R4fmscfKGPI/AAAAAAAAAkI/6OaNpG8eKsQ/s400/everydaycrazy.jpg

  150. posterchild says:

    It’s enunciate, not annunciate. Funny stuff, tho.

  151. CherryRose says:

    “Is it me, or are the Neely family guests Hostile? There are some serious negative attitudes going on here. They just don’t seem very pleased to be at the table.”

    I’ve noticed Gina making faces when Pat or one of their kitchen guests says something that she interprets as being negative about her. Gina likes to be the Queen Bee, that’s for sure! I wonder what Pat’s brothers really think of her ;)

    • robin says:

      I feel sorry for Pat. Gina has some serious power-trippin’ going on. I would Gibbs-slap her if I had to spend much time in her presence.

    • Mimi says:

      Has anyone thought Gina reminded them of Miss Piggy? She looks just like her (except for the fact Gina’s obviously not pink in skin tone)…

  152. DesignerJeans says:

    I just watched 1 minute of them, first time in a while, they were making a bananas foster type dessert.

    All I have to say is their lovey-dovey crap has got to go. Who can stand a whole episode of this sugar coated dry hump? Goodness. They spend more time loving up themselves in front of the camera then actually talking about the food.

  153. Jun says:

    @Olive Loaf. We can agree to disagree then.

  154. Olive Loahf says:

    Jun, agreed. Your a good sport!

  155. Shuga says:

    At last, found a site where people echo the observations I’ve had from 10 years’ worth of watching FN….thought I was alone with these thoughts, this is so much fun. Of particular hilarity: the postings of Klaus, Rod Labbe, Olive Loahf and Luz Stewels. You guys are just so entertaining, please keep it up. With regard to the Neely’s, I thought they were kinda cute the first couple shows, but soon their overboard showing-off (in order to ‘teach’ us poor ignoramuses how to have a happy, thriving relationship via the kitchen) is such a turn-OFF. AS IF nobody else gets frisky and flirty cooking with a loved one at home! PUH-LEASE! And yes, I’ve also noticed that whenever the kinfolk come around for the food (or friends), they seem so pained to be there.

  156. Shuga says:

    …forgot to ask: can somebody tell me what happened to Ask Aida’s sidekick Noah? I watched her new show today and the little fella’s gone! Whatever will she do without his Guess-the-Gadget routine and inane commentary? Why not yank her off as well; her recipes are mundane, and she seems a bit ‘stuck-up’ as they used to say in high school. She reminds me of the cheerleader/homecoming queen who’d smile at you and say hi in the hallway if you crossed paths, but you could tell she thought she was better than every other girl in school. Oh, I digress. What happened to Noah, anybody??

    • Mimi says:

      She was so snotty to Noah, she treated him like he was a dumb-ass every time. I don’t care for any of her shows and I don’t watch them, she’s too boring anyway.

  157. Kim H says:

    Shhh…everyone! I am trying to concentrate here!

    Aunt Sandy is on and she is making beer biscuits! (I guess Vodka biscuits do not work out very well??!!)

    LOL

    BTW, I have invented a new drinking game.

    Whenever Giada says AAANNNDDDD and TTTHHEEENNN after a sentence, you must do a shot.

    I counted 21 in this morning’s episode.

    • boops says:

      LOL-that goes with when she makes spageeeetiiiii and piiiinnnnneee pAssta. I don’t know what part of Italy she has been to, but she sounds like an a**hole. At least her ugly kid and gay husband aren’t on all her shows.

  158. Regis says:

    I absolutely love Giada. She is stunningly beautiful (smile and all) and makes preparing delicious meals look attainable for the average cook. Unlike Bobby Flay who comes off like some chef at a 5-star hotel. I like Sunny Anderson too. She’s a beautiful plus-size woman that actually looks like she enjoys a good meal. Her skin color takes your breath away. And that bubbly personality and inviting smile. Her use of language is amazing! I have not seen a Food Network Star yet who can both talk and prepare a meal at the same time with such skill!

  159. Reno says:

    OMG! This is great!!!
    Whoever gave Rachel Ray a show???? Does the country really lack talent? Does she have to scratch her head with her nubby fingers all the time on the Rachel Ray Show?
    Who else thinks that Bobby Flay wears too much makeup on all of his shows? he also needs a bra!! What is that Bra that Georges Father on Seinfeld came up with?? The MAN BRA?
    Why does Ina Garten have to laugh nervously at everything?? She really needs to think of working out. Jeffrey may just have someone else start making him brownies…
    I agree with everyone on the Neelys needing a room. Give me a break!!! You can cook with your partner without wanting to “throw him down”

    Congrats on your site. I love it!!

    • Mimi says:

      Bobby does need a bra and less makeup, for sure… MY GOD he wears like caked on makeup, STOP IT BOBBY FLAY!

      • abebush says:

        Anyone ever noticed the turkey waddle under his chin? You know, all the lumps of fleshy skin that don’t move at the same time as his head when he turns his head a different direction?

  160. Rod Labbe says:

    Wow, I can’t escape the Food Network! Just went to a local fast food pizza joint, and who should be on the tube above the register but Ina, grinding spuds (“Yukon Gold,” natch) through that ancient looking torture device known as a “potato mill,” or whatever the heck she calls it. As I stood there, waiting to order, I caught a close-up of her turkey neck, and I don’t mean the one she was cooking. Ugh! You’d think, what with all their cash, that she’d opt for some time at a fat farm and suck off some of that blubber with lipo. But noooo, supposedly Jeffrey “likes” her just the way she is. I wonder if she ever suspects that he might be spending five days a week nibbling someone’s else’s chicken?

    When I got home with my pizza, I turned on the set, and there were the Neely’s–him, with his painted on hair, and she, with her so-tight-you-know-she’s-gonna-explode tacky K-Mart “hot mama” outfit. All that jive talkin’ and booty shakin’ makes me want to revoke my vote for Obama! Is this what he meant by “yes, we can?”

    Earlier in the day, I caught Paula, and she was cacklin’ like an old hen ready to lay the biggest egg in creation. And it was all because she was makin’ popcorn balls with her two sons. After putting together the lamest lookin’ popcorn balls in creation, she said it was “so much fawn,” and “I’d like to zap both of you back to bein’ little ki-eds.” Suddenly, a thought balloon popped up over Bobby’s head that read “Oh, please, God, don’t give her magical powers!” Can you imagine what torture those poor kids when through way back when? Paula, screamin’ at her bohunk hubby that he “drinks too much” (only a few beers, too–check out her autobiography) and refusing to leave the house. All the while wearin’ mumus and stuffin’ her face. And then she has the bright idea of sendin’ her two ki-eds out to hawk her food. What an embarrassment! I can only imagine how humiliated they were…plus, they had to face her wrath when they returned with soggy bags of butter cookies and no sales!

    And here’s the kicker–Paula borrows money from her hubby, becomes rich, and then kicks his keister out!

    I was gonna watch “Good Eats” tonight, until I realized Mr. Brown reminds me too much of my obsessive/compulsive uncle. Cripes, just make the food, for corn’s sake. Is there any need for the blackboards?

    Rod

    • Laws says:

      What the hell?

      “When I got home with my pizza, I turned on the set, and there were the Neely’s–him, with his painted on hair, and she, with her so-tight-you-know-she’s-gonna-explode tacky K-Mart “hot mama” outfit. All that jive talkin’ and booty shakin’ makes me want to revoke my vote for Obama! Is this what he meant by “yes, we can?”

      What does the Neelys–two random people in TN– fooling around in THEIR kitchen have to do w/ OBAMA? Your above quoted comment is so ignorant that I have to shine light on it. You just lumped an entire race together, including the current President of the U.S., based on one TV couple.

      Phew! Ignorance sure is dangerous.

      • PistonsStan says:

        Yeah, some people hide behind being critical to make stupid racist remarks. Then when someone calls them on it, they bring up “pulling the race card”. Many of these comments are very funny,laugh out loud even, but others shows how ignorance is truly bliss. Should the Neely’s give up your perception of “blackness” so they can all assimilate into something more palatable for your tastes? “Jive talking”. Please get out and see the world. Diversity can be a great thing. I am embarrassed by you ignorance. #thatisall

    • Mimi says:

      I feel sorry for Paula Deen’s boys growing up…

    • DeBorah says:

      Ina may not be a beauty queen. Would you call Julia Childs sexy?

      • Ferd Berfle says:

        I’d call her Julia Child, for starters.

      • graciegal says:

        bingo! and touché!!

      • liz d says:

        ok that’s it!! i must defend Ina. i love Ina, stop blasting her shirts and gay friends. of course she knows she is over weight. she makes the best of being fat. so she wears the same shirts…. i give her a lot of credit living out in the hamptons with all those anorexic bitches who don’t even eat and are as fake as “cheap vanilla”. She seems to have her own class. maybe jeffrey likes his women big….so be it. at least they look happy together. her nervous laugh is annoying, but i think she is herself, i cannot say that about the rest of the chefs.her recipes are realistic. give her a break.

    • FayFay says:

      Yes, the blackboards are incredibly necessary.

      It’s a nerd thing, you wouldn’t understand.

  161. RBF says:

    Is anyone else grossed out by hosts swinging their long hair around while cooking? Hygiene, people!

  162. CherryRose says:

    “Is anyone else grossed out by hosts swinging their long hair around while cooking?”

    This bugs me no end! WTF is FN thinking when they allow or encourage this? When I’ve found a hair in my food at a restaurant, I send the plate back! Doesn’t happen often because professional chefs/cooks know better than to let their hair dangle over the food they’re preparing. Major faux paux, FN. Dumm-o!

  163. Olive Loahf says:

    The Dueling Sandy’s

    Semi-Homemade & Sandy’s new show “Cooking for Poor Folks”.
    It’s a case study in Schizophrenia, Semi-Homemade is all about “convenient”/expensive store bought ingredients, 70% to be exact, with a parsley garnish and frozen mash potatos, boil-in-a bag rice, etc.
    This was Sandy’s original shtick and it apparently worked very well in clicking with a demographic that either didn’t like to cook, was indifferent or just loved tacky table-scapes.
    Fast forward to this global economic melt down. The old “Recipes for Poor Folks” joke becomes a reality channeled by Aunt Sandy.
    Having dispensed with Dr. Jekyl (Semi-Homemade) we then get Mr. Hyde in the guise of Sandy the penny-wise savior in this Depression.
    Semi-Homemade has now turned into…Foreclosure Time! Let’s trot out some recipes with the few bucks we have left before the Marshall changes the locks. Gone are all the “convenience items”, there’s no 70% budget left! It’s all 100% “Po-Foods”, and lotsa, lotsa work, work, work. 30% ground beef, 70% breadcrumbs that you made from all that lovely left over dry bread, one egg will cost you just 10 cents. Tally, tally tally and that Food Stamp card is gone, gone, gone.

    What, no more tablescapes? Haul out the Christmas ornaments, plant the “lifelike” tree as a centerpiece.

    To quote Bette Midler:

    “Get into that kitchen
    and rattle those Pots and Pans
    And you better look pretty damn good doing it too,
    or your going to lose a good thing…”

    Cause Aunt Sandy still looks pretty (my grandiose opinion), and pretty darn brave too considering her sub-prime home loan has trippled and “Operation Repo” has just filmed her Kia Rio being towed away.

    Plus, when her new series ends, she can fly to Rome with her girlfriends and Stoli and eat like a Dutchess while FNTV direct deposits a boat load of cash into her account.

  164. CherryRose says:

    “…What, no more tablescapes?…”

    No more fru-fru cocktails, either. But, Aunt Sandy used a little beer in a fish & chip batter ;)

  165. Olive Loahf says:

    CherryRose

    Not in the budget. By the way “Must Be Sandra” was hysterical, problem is…it’s locked in my brain now…:-D!

  166. raptor says:

    this is the best site…definitely bookmarking

  167. Rachel says:

    This website has changed my life.

  168. Bork Bork says:

    Heh, I mekkid a $10 dinner thing.
    I brined my porkchops for about 4 hours ( Had no more time ) then I wiped them off (Washed my hands and such) then I grilled them for a surface (No I did no glaze em’, no sugar in salt) I after that basted and I braised em in wine and spices to accompany this I made a very soft potato mash and a mushroom sauce, minus prep and brine, I.e small dice and brunoise I think that could be done in about 20 minutes.

    Since I have wine, cheese, porkchops, potatos, ham, salt, pepper etc at home, this technically really was a $0 dinner.

  169. Danny says:

    You think Paula Dean is bad with butter. In the beginning Ina Garten was just as heinous. Perhaps even moreso. True story, I once sw an episode where she made one stick of butter out of FIVE STICKS OF BUTTER!!!!

    Amazing.

  170. Lindsey says:

    Question for everyone on Paula Dean. I’ve noticed that Jamie is rarely on Paula’s show anymore and when he is, he rarely speaks to her- just does the cooking and stays out of sight. Is this my imagination? Recently on one of her shows she mentioned that she had gone over to Jamie and Brooke’s for dinner and Brooke asked her “Paula, will you stay for cobbler?” Whoa, strange comment! In the South (or anywhere else) when you are invited to dinner you usually stay for the whole meal without an extra invitation. Also, Brooke calls her Paula instead of Mom or some other more common term. Sounds like they don’t get along. Maybe this is at the bottom of Jamie not being on the show often. Has anyone else noticed this? Is Jamie on the show because he has to be?

    • Vicky says:

      I also noticed that Brooke appears to barely hide her disdain for Paula. Even when they took that family vacation, it seemed like Brooke was there out of some contractual obligation. I found it odd that Paula did an after-the-fact show on what was served at the baby shower. I just haven’t decided if Brooke is shy or if she really does not care for her husband’s family.

    • FoodieOne says:

      I have noticed that too! However, Bobby seems like an easier-going person than Jamie. As for Brooke, she comes across to me as a pretty face with no personality whatsoever; I can’t imagine that she would be fun to watch on t.v.

      But, I have wondered too if Jamie and Paula just don’t have the same relationship as she and Bobby.

    • Hannah says:

      I think Brooke is shy and she does have a son to raise.As for Jamie and Bobby,Jamie is busy running the restaurant most of the time.Some of the posters here have way too much time on their hands.The show I miss the most is Rachael’s old $40 A Day.

  171. Lura says:

    It’s a fun site. People who think it’s offensive have no sense of humor. I’m pretty sure FN stars can laugh at themselves. However reading some comments left a bad taste in my mouth, you can really see that SOME people are hateful and probably only saying nasty stuff makes them feel better about their own pathetic lives.

    • robin says:

      Lighten up honey, these FN stars are probably crying all the way to the bank. Tears of undiluted joy over all that lovely lolly.

    • Mimi says:

      I doubt the FN stars would enjoy people taking the mick out of ‘em! lol I don’t know about anyone else in here but I do not HATE those people just because I’m talking shit about them! lol I don’t even KNOW them! I just know their shows suck! lol

  172. Freezezzy says:

    I’ve just watched several episodes of Cake Boss, and I’ve come to the conclusion that Buddy Velastro is nothing but a big, fat, egotistical, prick.
    `
    First, every time he speaks, he always says things like I, or my. As if he’s the only one doing anything there, or coming up with ideas.
    `
    Second, there’s an episode on right now that just made me hate him outright. He… er, I mean his crew made a cake, and had some guy delivering it. The guy gets there, and finds that one of the walls of fondant had fallen off. So he calls Buddy, and tells him what happened.
    `
    What did Buddy do? Flew into a blind rage, blaming the DRIVER for his cake falling apart. Then he has the nerve to claim that his cake was so well built. Yeah, if it was so well built, WHY THE HELL IS IT FALLING APART IN THE FIRST PLACE?!
    `
    On top of all that, the show, and Buddy, are annoying as all hell.
    `
    I’d rather watch Ace of Cakes than this crap.
    `
    /end rant

  173. Freezezzy says:

    Oh, something I forgot to add.
    `
    Buddy got his “revenge” on the driver by having some of his (Buddy’s) friends dump water and flour on him, then laughing at the poor guy.
    `
    I’d have punched him, then quit.

  174. Lorraine says:

    I enjoy watching Ina, good recipes, but her giggle needs help. I made some of Rachael Ray’s 30 minute meal recipes and they were pretty good, but lately she seems kind of stale. I like Sandra Lee, but her new show doesn’t do it for me. I did like the tablescapes as they did give you great ideas for decorating.

    I think this is a great site and really enjoy it.

    • Mimi says:

      Rachel seems like she downright does NOT want to do 30 minute meals anymore, she doesn’t smile that much anymore and her voice is almost gone any way I guess from her throat problems… she’s probably sick of it, don’t blame her for that, it IS getting a bit old, they should shut that show down and she’s done enough of other “travel” shows and such… she’s getting played out and shouldn’t have a show anymore, she’s got enough other stuff going on anyway…

  175. FROG LEGS says:

    O M G!!! Duff Goldman just did some work. He air brushed something for about 5 seconds. My faith is restored!!!!

  176. Bubbelah says:

    Love this website. I bow down to the amazing and hilarious commentary here…I can’t wait to talk more smack about Bobby How Many Ways Can You Grill a Pepper Flay as well as Giada Bobblehead DeLaurentis. My hatred has a home now.

  177. Carnivorous Hottie says:

    Hilarious bio about Giada! Her arms are much too short for her body and not just her mouth is too large..her entire head is enormous. I could swear I saw Neptune orbiting around it.

    • FoodieOne says:

      I read somewhere that Giada is only 5 feet tall. I really think they have her standing on a stool or something, which would make her look totally out of proportion. On her show with the firefighters, I noticed that she and the fireman were about the same height in her kitchen. But when she went to the firehouse at the end of the episode, he towered over her.

      Honestly, I really like her and her show. I think she makes decent dishes, using convenience products when a regular person probably would (i.e., Pillsbury pie crust, pudding mixes). She uses ingredients that I normally don’t, so it’s fun for me to try some of her stuff.

      As far as FNH goes, I think the humor directed at her is like teasing your little brother; harmless but fun.

  178. CherryRose says:

    “Her arms are much too short for her body…”

    Are Giada’s arms too short to box with Todd? :))

  179. Rod Labbe says:

    Freezezzy, I think you’re going way overboard about The Cake Boss, which is a show I enjoy. I’ve seen the episode you described, and he hardly went into a “blind rage” about the cake falling apart. He’s all bluster anyway, which is part of the show’s charm. And if you’ve watched it regularly, you’ll know that MOM is the actual boss, not Buddy.

    Oh, and The Cake Boss is a TLC show, not a Food Network offering.

  180. Don Corleone says:

    Great Site ! I like the legit chefs: Anne Burrell, Jamie Oliver, Chiarello’s technique etc. and enjoy Ina’s recipes (but the the nervous giggle has to GO ).

    The Latina chick is SO ANNOYING. Have you ever seen her handle a knife? Shes gonna chop her frikin arm off at some point! What did they do pluck her off the street for her accent? SO SAD – THE PANDERING OF IT ALL….She has more pronunciation issues than Giada…….

    AIDA – Why the plastic surgery? Your just a baby…..new lips already???/ Sad..

    • robin says:

      Hey are you really Anthony Bourdain pretending to be da God-fadda, or are you just a regular schmo pretending to Anthony Bourdain? ;}

    • Mimi says:

      Michael GAYarello… he can’t REALLY be married… what BS…
      Giada only has shows on FN because of her family history.
      Ann Burrell has turned into a nasty bitch on the new horrible Worst Cook in America, just like Alex G. did when she was a judge on Chopped (thank God they had enough sense to take her off that show!) Jamie’s not nice anymore either. Anthony Bourdain left FN just like Emeril did! lol

      • Sara says:

        Who says Alex is off Chopped? Last I heard, she was filming Season Two.

      • Lylarose says:

        I noticed the Anne Burell bitch thing on the new show. She is somebody who if she talked to me like that I would start a fist fight with her. I don’t do that kind of nastiness well.

  181. Michelle Kralovec says:

    I really like Melissa D’Arabian and was concerned she wasn’t on Sunday. I tuned in to watch her. Instead I got the obnoxious Brian Boitano, who thinks he is funny. He isn’t and nobody enjoys the over acting and hissing he does. I can’t even stand to watch his commercials. Melissa is a fresh new face with some fresh and revisited ideas. As for Jeffery who she beat out, he was full of himself, said she didn’t have a chance of winning because she isn’t a chef? Get hold of yourself Jeffery! And where is Emeril everyone’s favorite? He is the true king of Gourmet. Why isn’t he on more? Emeril is the reason I watched the channel in the first place. I love watching Bobby Flay,Ima, Paula Dean, Tyler F., Guy, and last years winner. They are true gems, but Brian?

  182. CherryRose says:

    “I really like Melissa D’Arabian and was concerned she wasn’t on Sunday.”

    Melissa’s initial season of Ten Dollar Dinners has ended, but she will return with new episodes in January, 2010.

    Brian Boitano must not have filmed many shows because yesterday’s was a rerun.

  183. FROG LEGS says:

    Emeril is on from 10:00 – 11:00 a.m. Eastern Time.

  184. sandyleeisicky says:

    Remember when Sandy had the “Semi-homemade wedding”? I actually worked with a woman who thought that wedding cake was absolutely fabulous and wanted to make it for her daughter’s wedding as a “Gift”. That had to be the nastiest tasting thing I’ve ever had in my life. She brought samples to work and asked opinions on what we thought. It got two thumbs down from everyone. But she made it anyway, her daughter cried because everyone made fun of the “sugared grapes” and no one ate it after the first bite. Even the groom thought it was a “joke” cake.

  185. FROG LEGS says:

    @Sandyleeisicky, How awful. Sounds like a bad sitcom! That poor bride. Kinda funny though cuz it happened to someone else, but ohhhh, that poor bride!!!!

  186. Mel says:

    I did not even know this website existed, but…….LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!

  187. Mel says:

    I have never seen a season of any show with only six episodes but…..I was not surprised when Ten dollar dinner ended that way!!!! since Melissa D’Arabian did not belong at all. I’m positive that the new season that is supposed to premier Jan. 2010 is a re-branded new season, ”cause God knows she needs a new brand to make it on primetime tv!!!!

  188. David W says:

    This is great stuff. I generally enjoy Food Network, but MAN it needs to be knocked off its perch every so often. They border on the chronically insufferable at times.

    I often wonder if Sandra ever did a tablescape (a word that is forbidden in my home) sober; I often wonder if Sandra ever taped an entire EPISODE sober; I often wonder if Ina Garten isn’t really the real-world incarnation of the mean old witch from the old Bugs Bunny cartoons of the 50′s. I try to convince my wife she changes her husband into various inanimate objects before each show is taped, unless she needs to have him for a prop.

    Bobby Flay, I’m convinced, just desperately needs a woman (and not his kitchen assistants), because not that many foods are so desperately in need of a southwestern makeover. And your assessment of Giada “My Mouth Would Be A Disaster Movie If We Could Find a Wide Enough Screen For it” Delaurentis is perhaps the single host on FN most desperately in need of a good, solid slap across the face.

    And thank heaven for Alton Brown, the one glimpse of sanity in a network mired in its own self-importance, the true anchor of the network whose own clever self-deprecation and whimsy actually conveys more cooking education than the other 167.5 hours of Food Network programming combined (Yes, including the paid programming that runs at 3AM). Sorry, Alton, but you’ve lost too much weight, and when I saw your 10th Anniversary Good Eats show, I was aghast that you had been diagnosed with some hideous disease. I thought sure Ina Garten had put a hex on you.

    This site is priceless. Wish I’d thought of it.

  189. Aggie says:

    Kudos! I LOVE this site!! My family actually calls Giada “that possum lady” because of her pointy nose and HUGE smile. LMAO!!

    Does anyone remember Tyler’s old show “How To Boil Water”? His co-host, Ms. Jack Hourigan, didn’t do anything but sit there and try to look cute while he did all the work.

  190. Steve says:

    “Aggie. Does anyone remember Tyler’s old show “How To Boil Water”? His co-host, Ms. Jack Hourigan, didn’t do anything but sit there and try to look cute while he did all the work.”

    More like Tyler forced her to sit. The show used to be pretty good if you go further back and it was her and Chef Frederic van Coppernolle. There was a nice dynamic between them. Once Tyler took over you she would still help like before and then was only allowed to sit and watch. You could see the life go out of her and the show.

  191. shuga says:

    Regarding “How To Boil Water” memories….go even further back to when Chef Frederic cooked/boiled water with some comedienne funny lady (I don’t remember her name)but they were a fairly entertaining duo…circa 1999 or 2000 perhaps. Anyone remember her?

  192. Keith says:

    Personally, I love humor, a lot, but not humor that puts people down. I mean, like there isn’t enough dark and ugly stuff in the world already. Why make it darker? (Oh, it’s “funny,” that’s why. Silly me.)

    I like most everyone on the Food Network, and of those I don’t care for, I’d rather just knock off the negatives and simply keep my mouth shut.

    I thought this site would have some class, but if what little I’ve read is any clue, it’s too bad I was wrong. Man, have some fun and all, but get off the TMZ thing, already.

  193. Candi Cane says:

    what?? no bio of Melissa D?
    I wanna make fun of her in a BAD WAY!

  194. The Gothic Culinarian says:

    Please! Oh my goodness! Please tell me you guys have more things to do with your time than park in front of a television just to ridicule the Food Network hosts? The time you waste sitting and ridiculing others on the things they do, you could be doing the damn thing yourself and finding ways of perfecting it. Too much talk from the “foodies” and not enough action to prove it.

  195. Ferd Berfle says:

    We’ve already perfected it, Gothic, but thanks for your concern.

  196. feedme says:

    I love your website. Found it by accident after Googling “Paula Deen” & “furniture”. I thought my hearing had gone bad when the TV ad came on before I finished my a.m. coffee:) Hope I can stop laughing long enough to devour the rest of your site.

    And for the record, watching Fieri’s huge mouth slobbering over everything 3-inches from the camera in closeup is disgusting. (Plus cameos of the flip-flops & dental work).

    Maybe changing his name was at the request of his family.

  197. Tommy D says:

    Just found this site and it is absolutely hi-larious! I have often thought most of the people on FN were not chefs at all but just people put on TV to cook shitty recipes. ESPECIALLY Guy Fieri. Look anyone that claims to be a chef would NOT try and reproduce the garbage at Applebee’s or TFIFridays. (cough, cough, Tyler, Florence)But that’s what you get from Guy I still don’t understand who it is that loves this guy enough that FN shoves him down the viewers throat at least 6-7 times a day. Thanks for not dissing AB, Alton is the only reason to watch FN most nights, he is very insightful when it comes to cooking.

  198. [...] Posted by BadGirl :bobblehead: Click on The Hosts [...]

  199. big cucumber says:

    i love bobby flay….

  200. Simpfan says:

    I sat here for like half an hour just reading all of these comments and it made me laugh so hard.
    Alton is the only one on that channel I really really like. Hes smart, inventive, and funny. No lame stories about how he got to travel to Paris and ate this fabulous dinner that he then tries to recreate in 30 minutes.

    Has anyone ever made Rachel Rays food anyway? Its so gross. Especially those burgers of hers. Yuck.

    And Im so glad I wasnt the only one who noticed that Sandra Lee is a wino. Hmm, any coincidence her name is just shy of Sara Lee?

  201. big cucumber says:

    Just watched an episode of Emeril with his kid EJ or as he calls him EEEEJE..I am sure he thought it was a good idea until the camera started rolling, then it was like “who’s frickin idea was it to have this brat on my show”.

    About Ask Aida’s dweeb sidekick Noah – he must have been dumped because someone at FN realized it was a bad idea…now someone needs to realize what is left is even worse. What a train wreck.

    The Neelys and Sunny Anderson – an obious pandering to try to increase black viewership. Both shows are a waste of time with no talent at all. Same with The Latin chick – obvious pandering for the latino viewship.

  202. reno says:

    The Neelys show is so cheesy! It has to go!!!

  203. melissa says:

    what is with all the cleavage on the shows with Giada and Rachel Ray? is it necessary for cooking? it is sexist,that is for sure. and please tell Giada to STOP SMILING so much. sheesh. I have seen enough of her back teeth to last me forever. Paula deen’s accent is grating on my nerves too. did any of these people ever see the inside of a culinary institute?

    • robin says:

      Please, I a so sick of seein’ boobs everywhere I go. I mean really, if I were into that I have a pair of my to stare at. One has no choice these days. I’ll be so glad when the boob-a-rama craze is OVAH!

    • Ironsteel says:

      Let’s not forget, they could also scald their boobs if their frying something! Then you’d have to look at scarred, pock-marked boobs.

      • liz d says:

        if Giada took a blow to her cleavage by crackling oil while frying something and made a joke about it, i’d have new found respect for her.

    • Lylarose says:

      haha I have seen enough of her back teeth to last a lifetime. OMG that’s f unny

  204. Stephanie says:

    Hahahahaaahahah! I work in a gourmet shop and have to watch The Food Network all day. I pretty much know the lineup everyday of the week. I’ve come to love some of the hosts, and on the other hand, really find some annoying. Nonetheless, all of this witty jesting is hilarious, regardless of my feelings about the target of your jokes. It’s funny because I’ve started to make jokes about the hosts to my friends and boyfriend, and it’s nice to find a few other people who watch The Food Network as much as me and find humor in it as well.

  205. Foodnut says:

    Just found this site, and wow am i glad!
    I cook nonstop for a big family and FNW is a constant companion with me in the kitchen. Love lots of it, but damn is it nice to read that i’m not alone and see so many feel the same way I do about the same things. Im at home!
    Hey OliveLoahf, just read “Aunt Sandy” and about pissed my pants laughing. more of that please.
    I feel I have an obligation to make my first post, about the DAMN NEELEY’S. The only FNW show i’ll stop and change the channel because of. Holy shit. Who the hell are they talking to, a class of kindergarteners?
    If I hear “Here comes the spice fairy” one more time (ever), I’m going to puke and walk into traffic.
    Why would FNW think anyone wants to watch these two idiots slobber all over each other. One thing they gave me, even my Mother in Law finds them disgusting…. which finally gave us somthing in common.

    • Mimi says:

      The Neelys are disgusting, horrible, hideous, ignorant, inappropriate, illiterate, improper, nasty, vulgar, Gina’s rude and on a power-trip, ugly, and the food is not nice either. Terrible show. Again, how can FN not know how crap this show is?

    • sherrie says:

      Maybe you can remember, in the decade, 2000-2010 or so, a black Food Network host who I thought was ex football player, James Brown. I think he hosted ” Unwrapped “, but I’m not sure. Can you help???

  206. AVON says:

    I laughed so hard I started to cry after reading these comments. I love people with a great sense of humor. You know, I just have to comment on “the Neelys” too. I just can’t stand it when Gina does her ridiculous dance and goes “WOOOOOO”. It just annoys me so much. When it comes on I flip the channel. Can’t wait to read more.!!!

  207. pat says:

    get the NEELYS off the air .talk about foni!getting paid for that ????? must be OPRAH footing the bill.i like Sunny ,at least her food is edible. i quit trying rac rays recipes they were all awlful!!!! is alton brown sick ?

    • Mimi says:

      Alton lost 50 pounds in 2009 and now he’s hawking about it (on his first episode of Good Eats for 2010). I hope there won’t be more shows about his weight loss– old quick! ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww and he looks so gray and pasty now, the moles stick way out on his face, but at least they cut his stringy hair… that was horrible… I think he looks ill now too and they have to put tons of makeup on him now like Bobby Flay– ohmygod… they believe in SO much makeup on FN… I guess?!

      • FayFay says:

        I agree–I loves me some Alton, but he really looks ill. If he’d put on about ten pounds, he’d be a lot better. And considering all the weight I’ve gained eating his recipes, it shouldn’t be too hard for him!

  208. Foodnut says:

    Anybody know which of Paula Dean’s sons it is she drags out onto her show looking like he just woke up from a three day drinking binge?

  209. Amy says:

    I just watched “Food, Inc.” In it, there is a large section about Smithfield, the company that Paula Deen is a spokesperson for. I was shocked to learn about their anti-union policies, how they hire undocumented illegal workers–and they actually go to Mexico to recruit them–but when the workers are deported, the company sits back and does nothing. Not to mention how Smithfield growers inhumanely treat the pigs that they painfully slaughter. I can’t believe that Paula Deen would support such an evil company. Food Network should cancel her shows. I am supporting a Paula Deen boycott until she comes out and denounces Smithfield’s inhumane practices toward its workers and animals.

    • Mimi says:

      Paula Deen could care less about the pigs that were killed for Smithfield Ham. She’s dirty filthy rich now and waddles around naked in her big ol’ house (ya’ll hear about that on one of her shows that her niece was a guest on?!) JEZUZ. That is a horrible thought, Paula naked in her yard and the guys in the shrimp boat saw her! OMIGODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

      • abebush says:

        Was that when she pooped in her driveway? If it was, hopefully the shrimpers didn’t snap some pics of her squatting naked in her driveway doin the poopin!!!!!!

  210. Foodnut says:

    WOW! Anybody else see Paula Dean get smacked in the face by a flying ham! She tossed a ham out to some people during a special of some kind and someone threw one back to her face.
    Sure hope she’s ok, but it was kind of funny.

  211. Foodnut says:

    Was that you throwing that ham Amy? Know you were pissed about the Smithfield thing, but dang.

  212. sweetheartofsigmachisandra says:

    sandra’s recipes are awful. she divorces well, though.

  213. Stephen says:

    How about ranking these folk in order of suck?

  214. Chrisopher says:

    OMG,

    This website is the best thing since “Vote for the worst” poke at fake ass American Idol.

    Can’t say how much I hate Guy Ferry and his bleached blond hair. He should be hog tied to a chair and forced to watch repeat episodes of his own shows. Maybe then he would kill himself!

    Tyler Florence has gotten FAT. Really fat. Emerald fat. Oprah 1980′s – 90′s fat. Ina Garten size. The only thing ultimate about his cooking is it’s ability to make heads expand and then explode.

    Ina Garten and her rich Hampton friends make me want to hurl. Ina’s only “the best ingredients” comments that cost more than my mortgage and are only available in certain high end markets – ARE sickening. This over weight woman needs a reality check when ghetto fabulous viewers tune her in and say.

    “My Nigga Stow don’t have no Parmigiano-Reggiano cheese, only sh*t in a green can and cheeze whiz. And only imitation vanilla. Ain’t no ‘good’ vanilla in my stow.”

    Anyways, this site is the bomb!

  215. thedude says:

    giada has awesome boobs.

    • Rich says:

      AGREED!!! 100% She annoys me because of how happy she is, and I’m not a huge fan of her cooking,, but I’m admitedly shallow,, she’s gorgeous!

      • Mimi says:

        OH MY GOD! Hilarious, more guys who think Giada is gorgeous, beautiful, stunning, etc., but what it’s REALLY about is her boobs… lol Too bad most people DON’T get the point… lol

      • boops says:

        Gorgeous???????????? She has a nose bigger than Howard Sterns, Too many teeth for her mouth and saggy boobs. Paint her face green and she would make a great Witch on Halloween.

    • claire says:

      Giada has boobs ? between her and Rachel Ray.. there;s not enough breast meat there to make a half a sandwich!!!!

  216. Rich says:

    I just found out Iron Chef Cat Cora is a lesbian,,, I’m crushed! I also just realized that Claire Robinson is HOT! So I guess there was an “ok” trade off

    • Vicky says:

      Poor Rich – lol. You must have missed all the hoopla about she and her wife exchanging embryos….

    • Mimi says:

      OH, OK, so my question got answered as to who is/are the lesbian/s on FN… so it’s Cat Cora, makes sense… although, don’t get me wrong, I could care less… just sayin’ it makes sense… I disagree Claire Robinson is hot… but I guess beauty is in the eye of the beholder… she’s sorta cute and a little clutzy/ditzy/silly, but HOT?! Just can’t see it.. lol

  217. WesternActor says:

    I hate to get all copy-editory on you, but Giada doesn’t “overannunciate,” she “overenunciates.” “Annunciate” means something totally different.

    Otherwise, fun site.

  218. phughes says:

    Why Why do you dislike Sandra Lee so much?
    She is the best!!! I lOVE HER.
    Please don’t take her off the air.
    THE ONE’S MAKING ALL OF THESE COMMENTS KEEP WATCHING THE SHOWS DON’T THEY? Sorry bunch!!!!

    • Tyler Peel says:

      @PHughes: Everyone respects your right to love Sandra Lee and obviously a LOT of America must feel the same way? I don’t understand why you like her and you never really gave us any reason?

      I think of Sandra Lee as a 21st. Century cross between Martha Stewart and Sandford & Son. I say the following with no disrespect – Keeping in mind she works for the Food Network, I learn NOTHING useful or substantive to further my ability to cook. The reviews of her recipes on the FN site compare her to watching a train wreck happen in slow motion. (Go read for yourself!) If she isn’t personally responsible for her recipes then those in charge should be fired! The rare time that I watch her is only because nothing else is on, my sister is using my computer, and I entertain myself guessing at the combination of scripts and alcohol she is currently under.

      Sandra Lee might be a lovely lady in person and do a million good things for less fortunate people that we never hear about… however, her show is about “image” and not “substance” and for that I have no respect for her.

      My guess would be that people who like her show also like ALL of the following, Bud Light, American Idol, Survivor, Guns, Taco Bell, RV’ing, and Family Feud? I’m not dissing anyone, simply taking an uneducated guess. (Okay, I have a degree in Business marketing so maybe I do know a little?)

      Sandra Lee branding is a part of the dumbifying of America and encourages people to use pre-process packaged foods under the guise that this is healthier than fast food. Her show is morally reprehensible, vacuous, and obtuse. If it wasn’t for raw, animalistic interest in tuning in to see how a meal and tablescape are derived from her WalMart coordinating outfit-of-the-day then I doubt she would still be on the air. If FN ran her show on Sunday morning at 6 a.m. between Benny Hinn’s fleecing of the lambs and Bob Isumi’s Fishing Show I would probably choose an anal probe by Guy Fieri.

      Someone please tell us what we learn from her?

      • Julie says:

        You learn, if you listen and watch, how to cook cheaper, faster and more efficiently with items most people have in their pantries already. Yes, she may be an alcoholic; never without a cocktail concoction of some kind.Those overly pronounced ‘LLLL’s’ and ‘MMMM’s’ do get irritating.I would never do a tablescape myself but she does manage to pack alot of information into her show. Give the girl credit; she came from humble beginnings and went to school in France. She is a trained chef. She finally married well and she is as they say laughing all the way to the bank because she never forgot her roots. Yeah I can understand why some don’t like her but obviously, she appeals to alot of people.

      • Carmen says:

        Omg Tyler. U take my breath away. I can’t believe I found this site so late. Brilliant

      • Glenda says:

        Hey, lay off Taco Bell.

    • Mimi says:

      OH MY GOD, are you for REAL or is this a joke? I guess there still are Americans who are “ignorant” (and I don’t mean that in a critical way, just in the factual sense of the word)… do people still BELIEVE these scripted shows?! Do they believe these people DEEPLY care about them? Etc. Do the hosts know how many people are actually learning from them or can spend $175 for one bloody meal? Or even the “cheap” ones like Sandra Lee supposedly makes–even “fast food” is NOT that cheap (as she says it is), but not only THAT, people who ‘fall for the hype’ are exactly that “the faithful sheep” just blindly following these people on a TV programme… I find it surreal, all of it… it’s weird and the people and shows are bizarre, along with the corporates behind all of it (since they are the ones who select these “chefs” and promote them and produce these lame shows). However, when on occasion I watch one of these programmes, I will TRY very hard to “get something from it” (if I can stand to watch the whole episode). Such as, I will watch Giada’s newer show (At Home) because I like to see how they decorated her new house (clean style), but she’s played-out and they are obviously going to let her stay on FN because she “got in where she fit in”. These people are like robots (look what they’ve tried to turn The Neelys into?!) It’s a joke. All of it. But every now and then there might be a decent recipe, although I haven’t gotten one from FN in almost 2 years. So, I agree, I haven’t learned anything from any of them. I like to cook and I’m a good one, so I’ll stick with myself and probably what I learned from my Mother, Grandmother, Aunt, and my own creativity.

  219. Ironsteel says:

    My sister went to Anthony Bourdain’s show, and he tore the Food Network a new one.

    He’s arrogant, but he’s good…you’re right, like Dr. House.

    • Mimi says:

      Yeah, that is true, Anthony is like Greg House.. lol I agree Anthony was smart to stay off FN, so was Emeril to leave it… FN is like a cult or a Twilight Zone, it’s very weird, those people that “run the show” so to speak– BIZARRE! I guess FN is comparable to the AA slogan: “Take what you like and leave the rest”, but by now, there’s just not much left to redeem and find good with FN! lol

      • foodness says:

        Weird thing is Scripps owns FN & the majority of Travel Channel (where Bourdain currently draws pay) — seems they would frown upon that.

  220. Ironsteel says:

    I used to like Food Network a lot when it first came out. As an armchair chef, I found it interesting, and I especially used to like that show “Taste”…the host was sometimes annoying, but he used to do shows that were about the history of foods liek ham and pizza…before Alton Brown, who is the only personality that I still like.

    I think its the memories of the early years that makes us laugh at fN now.

    • Mimi says:

      Couldn’t have put it better myself… I concur… (I’m still debating on AB, I hope he doesn’t turn into one of those “anti-fat/anti-food preachers” (like an ex-smoker who gets on the soap box), I hope they don’t ruin him on FN… the rest of ‘em can go jump in the lake as they need to “retire” lol

  221. Cait says:

    Anne Burrell should not get away so easily. Please mock her more often. I love FN…and I agree with a lot of what’s already been said (bios, comments, etc)…But Anne is HEINOUS!!! What’s with the stupid Muppet-like growling and sound effects? She looks and acts like a total tool. She is nearly unwatchable. I like the concept of her show, but couldn’t they have found someone less grating to host it? Thank GOD they let her host that upcoming train-wreck “Worst Cooks in America”.

    • Mimi says:

      Ann Burrell is hideous, the whole shootin’ match… when I see the likes of her and some of the others, I had to wonder WHY? Food Network, WHY? But now I know, they’re just ignorant and think this is what America wants to watch (and, as usual, take off the good shows), typical… ridiculous, ludicrous, and an insult to intelligent viewers…

    • Michele says:

      I actually don’t mind Anne Burrell but you are the FIRST person to mention what really irks me about her show. I can’t STAND that damn growling thing she does. “This looks good GRRRRRRRRRRR” or growls a word. It’s so annoying! Otherwise I don’t mind her.

  222. Paulieg says:

    Don’t forget to add to Giada’s bio that she surrounds herself with ugly friends to try to make herself look better. Also, she can add any Italian cheese or flat-leaf parsley to make a dish Italian. Example: Parmesan on sushi makes “italian sushi”, flat-leaf parsley in gumbo makes “Italian gumbo.”

    • Mimi says:

      OMIGOD I couldn’t believe the last time I saw Igor her brother on the show, his hair was like an afro-mullet! and all the rest, all the while Giada is making smart-ass cracks to almost ALL her guests, in one way or another, she always works in something to say which degrades, humiliates, puts down, makes them look less-than HER (the queen pseudo-goddess of Italian)… apparently she just can’t help herself?! She is so demeaning and condescending and a complete obsessive-compulsive-control-freak– you almost feel sorry for her husband and kid, but she puts on the loving/caring/mother/wife act– it’s such BS and she’s such a b___ , but REALLY! She tries to cover it up well, but it comes through… she’s selfish, and a brat. She’s boring and uses the same maybe 10 ingredients FOREVER. She’s deeply annoying and unintelligent, improper, not classy, fake, superficial, and “not all that” (as she thinks she is)…

    • Donna says:

      Wow!! Really laying into Giada, there!!! But she does use the word “basically” too much…. roughly about 3 times a minute. Drives me nuts.

    • boops says:

      lets not forget the lemons and zest in everything

  223. Aaron Cain says:

    You forgot to mention that the other word Tyler Florence uses constantly in his show is “boom”. It drives me crazy! I watch his show like I would a car wreck, I just can’t stop watching, I’m intrigued to see how many times he uses the word “boom”.

    • Kris says:

      Do we have a new drinking game here?

    • Mimi says:

      Tyler must guard himself against turning into the boring, fat, repetitive, “family guy”… lol (he used to be so cute, inspiring, friendly, convincing, excited, etc.)… I hope he doesn’t turn into just another fat old boring man… lol

  224. Kenneth says:

    This totally needs to be updated!

  225. rene alex says:

    Big Daddy is ok, he has gold recipes. Rachelle Ray is on TV too much and the Neely’s do smooch a little too much, but, their’re ok.

  226. rene alex says:

    somebody is gonna get killed by all the salt you people use on your network. all of you are pretty much doing good but i would like to see paula if anyone start using less salt, butter and everything else she overdoes. Paula, believe me, i know it tastes good, but eventually, it will kill us. Help us live and enjoy food. thanks!

    • Donna says:

      I guess you don’t watch Paula Deen often enough to know that she often says she doesn’t eat that way every day…. don’t think she would still be around if she did. Most of her recipes can be modified and still taste really good.

      • Wheezer says:

        Do either one of you realize this isn’t the FOOD NETWORK’S website, but the Food Network HUMOR website? Just wonderin’?

  227. Wayfarer says:

    I’m was born and live in the South. Grew up and live 30 miles from Tyler’s parents in Greenville, SC. Don’t know where he gets his “southern recipes” but we don’t eat like that. He adds many things to recipes that true southerner’s never have. Seems to want to make his southern recipes more complicated than they really are. Is he ashamed of being from the south and wants everyone to think we are more complex in our cooking that we are?

  228. elisheba says:

    So funny! Thank you! I love your site

  229. Mark says:

    Read some of the posts here, just a couple of comments, 1, I don’t think we actually need a specific reason to want to shoot Sandra Lee. Then we wrap her up in the damn tablescape, along with her ‘recipe’ collection box, and dump her body in the far reaches of the Arctic circle. However Vodka does not freeze..

    Now I do like Rachael Ray. But lately on 30MM’s she keeps talking about how you could ‘substitute this’ or ‘this would be just as good without this’. Crap by the time the show was over I was confused on exactly what she was making as through the show she had come up with 10 other recipes that were now not even similar to what recipe it was she was cooking?!

    And the Neely’s needing a room… Somehow I think the prefer to be ‘filmed’…

    Has anyone ever noticed for Iron Chef to always have this ‘mystery’ ingredient they sure start those recipes in seconds. And all of them know exactly what to do without hardly talking. And then the dishes just so happen to turn out like 5 star restaurant recipes… Talent…

    • Sara says:

      That’s because on “Iron Chef” the chefs are actually given a list of “mystery ingredients” so they can start planning…they know roughly what’s going to turn up there ahead of time. Plus, there’s a 15-minute design period that’s not filmed with the chefs talking with their sous-chefs about the recipes they’re about to create.

  230. Chris says:

    like others i too love the food network and its shows and its great to see that others have the same complaints about some of the people that i do i.e Giada and Michael.

  231. Incredible work on the Contessa. It’s a life long ambition to get invited to one of those dinner parties and sit with Jeffrey. Think he has stories?

    • ditto. This is going to be a life saver for me. I need to vent every now and then and feel it is still safe to do so using this venue. I just passed a blogger complaining of the salt (too much) used by Paula and suggested a change. Just what I feared would happen here. The Food Nazi are out to take the fun and God given pure joy of stuffin’ one’s face when one feels like it and cheating on a diet every now and again. Butt out! You don’t like salt, keep away from it ! MYOB and let us enjoy life. Thank you.

  232. Michael says:

    I absolutely cannot stand that rich bitch Ina Garten. Please, Ina, rub in our faces how wealthy you are and how perfect your shallow, stupid f***ing life is. I hate to break this to you, Ina, but your view of yourself does not match your physical appearance. You look like you should be buying pork rinds and Mountain Dew at Walmart.

  233. Casey says:

    I loved your comments about the FN stars. I have got to put my own two cents in on a few, but not all:
    1. Ina Garten: I like her. I must admit, some of her recipes, I will never be able to make because the next Whole Foods store is 40 miles away, but her voice is nice and pleasant and I don’t wanna throw anything at her. So she’s good in my book.
    2. Alton Brown: I can’t stand you. You once dissed Sandra Lee for her telling you about a mole she had removed and while that may not be in good taste, I think she was trying to give you a hint that the one on your face is a complete eyesore! Also, you’re also a nerd.
    3. Rachael Ray: I hate you so much that I like you. You make real food! And it goes to your ass just like fame has gone to your head!
    4. Giada: At first glance, I thought you were the actress that plays Kendall on All My children. Just with a bigger head and mouth. Your recipes look delicious and easy, but if the tasting bites are the only bit of food you have for the day, then I’m not gonna watch you. And cover up for goodness sake.
    5. Guy Fieri: This guy is not bad to me. I don’t understand what all the hype against him is. I am cracking up every time I watch DDD. I’ll pay good money to ride in that GTO with you the next time you go to Flavor Town.
    6. Sandra Lee: So help me God, I will find you and kill you the next time I hear you say the words, “Save you money.” It makes my skin crawl. Cooking out of a box is not healthy.
    7. Alex Guarnaschelli: Just look at her one facial expression in the opening credits of “Chopped.” Nuff said. And your ass. You are now nicknamed “Super Pear.”
    8. Sunny Anderson: I just love this girl!! Real southern food without the annoying accent of Paula Deen. Only one thing. Have a better mise en place so you won’t have to walk over to the refrigerator cuz when you do, my eyes are glued to your thunder thighs. PLEASE work on that.
    9. The Neely’s: The whole episode could be nothing but the two of you making out and groping each other, and you would still call it Shakin’ and Bakin’!
    10. Duff Goldman: I’ll place an order for a cake if you promise to shave. I have seriously never seen anyone with a 5 o’clock shadow that starts at his eyes!
    11. Tyler Florence: I don’t watch your show enough because it’s on when I’m working. But man, you don’t know what I’d pay for you to be in my bed one night.

    Well that’s all I can do right now. I’ll think of more later.

    • Ryan says:

      Fame has not gone to Rachael’s head. I have met people who say she is one of the nicest people to talk to. She also is one of the most giving people out there.

    • boops says:

      I totally agree with the Giada comment-Did you notice the portions she gives her guests??? No one would be satisfied with the three little morsels of whatever she offers and the tiny portions of mini food she prepares. I am a thin person, if I ate like that I would disappear.

    • Flavorphile says:

      Love your 2 cents! Hee hee! ESPECIALLY #11. Yup. He’s delicious-looking.

  234. Just Another (Food Network) Addict says:

    I thought the bios and the first couple comments were hilarious- i.e. Sandra Lee is made up of 70% vodka- my thoughts exactly! However, the more I scrolled down, the more comments just kinda rubbed me the wrong way. I’ll be honest, my girlfriends and I watch Food Network all the time and poke a little fun at our “love-to-hate” hosts (Ina) but comments like “x person needs a slap in the face”? A little too violent for my taste. One person on here (who I won’t name) won’t let anyone have their own opinions because they are constantly commenting and bashing whatever the person said. (I’m sure I’ll get comments about how I have “no sense of humor.”) And.. apparently my friends and I (also a girl) are the only people on earth that LOVE Giada! To each his (or her) own, but we think she is perfect! I love to watch her show- I may not be interested certain foods she’s making but I looove the happiness and enthusiasm! In today’s world, where there is so much negativity, she makes me smile! (Although, the pictures of her with the “Lee-mon-chell-oh BITCHES” cracked me up too!!) All in all, I have to say this is a pretty good website– but I probably will steer clear of comments in the future. Happy fooding!

  235. Steve says:

    There is so much wrong with the Food Network these days it’s almost hard to know where to begin.

    SANDRA LEE: Aunt Sandy. She’s a train wreck. It’s just incredulous that after years of shoving the Semi-Ho’ way down people throats with her pre-chopped, pre-minced, salt and preservative-laden pre-packaged, containerized and bottled ingredients that they’ve now given her a show (Sandra’s Money Saving Meals) that is direct opposition of her Semi-Ho way. Who knew you could save money by chopping your own onions?? What a revelation! There’s so many things wrong with this woman. To the way she hangs on her words, her seductive squinty camera eyes, the way she cups her little hand under every spoon and whisk to not spill a precious drop on her counter or floor to the way she swoops the oven door closed with her butt! And what’s with the hair and tons of makeup? And inappropriate outfits to cook in? She should have reeled it in long ago…about the time she started dressing to match the drapes. And her tablescapes are of legend….the horror! And I pity the ultra-maroon who would believe Cool-Whip flavored with an artificial extract tastes like real whipped cream. There’s tons more about this woman that just jump on my last nerve, but I can feel my blood pressure going up so I’m going to move on. “Can I tell you?”

    TYLER FLORENCE: I’m sorry, I just can’t stand to watch his show. He cooks in such a frantic way in that small set kitchen that it’s just too unnerving to watch. It’s like he’s had one too many shots of espresso. Honestly, you can hear he’s out of breath sometimes if you listen. And is anyone else sick of hearing “Boom”?

    GUY FIERI: Obnoxious, plain and simple. More bling than any one man should wear and waaaay too much peroxide. And just because your name ends in a vowel, doesn’t make you Italian. What’s with the sudden accent to his last name (Fee-eddy?). I remember when he competed for his own show, it wasn’t pronounced that way. What? That’s supposed to make him more credible as a chef? I don’t think so. The man can’t cook anything without emptying out the refrigerator and pantry and using every burner and two ovens. And the ridiculous names he gives his food, and the horrors he calls cocktails. And my biggest gripe with Guy (and MANY others are the FN are guilty of it)….mispronouncing ingredients. How many times have you heard him say Reggianna Parmiganna, or MARS-capone cheese, pap-a-rika, or vinegar-ette?

    THE NEELEY’S: Honestly, these two don’t bring anything new to the table. Just there for nothing more than to promote their barbecue products. And her voice is SO annoying. And how many times can Pat say the words “ya’ll” in one episode? These two are a cooking tag-team joke. One can do anything without the other. They act like fools in the kitchen.

    RACHAEL RAY: I understand it’s important to narrate when you cook, but she NEVER shuts up and rehashes everything she’s says, over and over again. She has a fake laugh she uses every time she tells the same old joke….I mean, how many times can it be funny after you’ve told it for the 50th time? And do we all know by now that oregano means joy of the mountain in greek? “Yeah kids, bring that up at your next cocktail party.” Or that hubby John describes some herbs as verdant! Wow, I’m impressed. He must have had some big-city schoolin’.

    BOBBY FLAY: Has the chops to cook, but comes from a VERY privileged background. Surely worked to make his restaurants a success, but was given everything. Spoiled rotten and younger pictures of him reveal what was probably a schoolyard bully.

    INA GARTEN: I actually like her and her style. She cooks with a calmness and serenity that is refreshing, especially after listening to the non-stop yakking of Rachael Ray or the frantic Tyler Florence. But lives a very comfortable life that most of us can only dream of. “How bad can that be?”

    GIADA de LAURENTIIS: I like her also, no apologies. She can cook and can call herself a chef. And every recipe I’ve made of hers has come out a success. Julia Child always said that she didn’t consider Italian cuisine cooking, but I respectfully disagree. And sure, Giada smiles a lot for the camera, but I would too if I had those beautiful chops. It’s unclear who dresses her for her shows, but I suspect a lot of men just tune in to watch her stir. But it’s clear when you watch her, she has had formal training and technique. You can learn from her. She’s at least one on the FN that knows what she’s doing. I’ll never make another cheesecake without using half cream cheese and half mascarpone, whatever flavor I’m making. The silkiest cheesecake you’ll ever put in your mouth!

    ANNE BURRELL: Loves her food and it shows! I like her, can’t help it, spastic or not. You gotta love a woman who’ll rinse out the San Marzano tomato can to get everything out of it because “I paid for all of that!” Someone who knows the true value of food and quality ingredients. One of very few on the FN you can learn from.

    AARON McCARGO: Awkward and clumsy, still. Another one who simply doesn’t know how to pronounce simple ingredients (see “MARS-capone” comment).

    PAULA DEEN: One can only imagine what her arteries look like, cooking with all that butter. I use only butter (when called for) but in moderation. Not a pound at a time! And talk about bad advice. She once ended an episode telling viewers how to infuse olive oil bottles with herbs and garlic. Yeah, try sticking a sprig of rosemary and a some garlic in a bottle of olive oil and letting it sit for a while and then use it. After you’ve come home from the hospital, I’ll bet you’ll never do it again.

    Which brings me to something else….cross-contamination while prepping and cooking. Am I the only one who sees this going on? It’s just ridiculous! And the poor attempts they make to wash their hands. Squirting soap on your hands and letting the water immediately wash it off your hands in not considered hand washing people. I know they don’t have the air time to show us 20 seconds of hand washing, but at least attempt to show us some lather.

    There are just so many things that have gone wrong over at The Food Network. I find myself….exhausted.

    • Wheezer says:

      I agree with so much of what you said. But, I was beginning to think I was the only one that was hearing TyFlo constantly saying “boom.” And it’s not like he’s even doing anything spectacular when he says it. UGH!!!

    • claire says:

      OMG ! If i hear Sandra Lee say “VINEGER ETTE ” ONE MORE TIME i will reach into my Tv and strangle her.. the correct way to say it is .. VINA GRETTE! PLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLEASE SOMEONE TELLLLLLLL HER THAT !

    • FayFay says:

      Steve–PMSL! “After you get home from the hospital, I’ll bet you never do it again.” As for the cross contamination, I’ve worked in restaurants most of my life, in the front of house AND in the kitchen. I can tell you that anyone with those piss poor hygene habits would be out on their ass and looking for another job. Dis-GUS-ting.

  236. Melanie says:

    Other than watching a few episodes online, I haven’t watched the food network in a couple of years. After reading the comments on this site (which totally rocks btw), it sounds like I really haven’t missed anything.
    So, here’s my take on it all:
    Semi-homemade: I watched this show I think maybe only once and in it, she was in a yellow kitchen and was wearing yellow. That’s the only thing I remember from that particular episode.
    I did watch Emeril a few times and liked his enthusiasm, but most of the dishes he cooked didn’t really appeal to me.
    I enjoyed watching Giada; her recipes were always easy to follow for me. I also liked watching Ina; her show always relaxed me.
    I never watched the show with Alton Brown. Judging from the comments here, it sounds like I really should have.
    As for Paula Deen, I watched her show a few times and thought that I would try a few of her recipes. I tried to watch the party show she hosted and I HATED it.

  237. marlene martinez says:

    Thanks for all the recipes. We enjoy all of the shows. But when it comes to desserts, my blood sugar goes up!! (I’m a diabetic and it is torture) Thanks for sharing your talent.
    Love you all!!!!

  238. RealFoodie says:

    Sat here and read all the comments, Hilarious! some are a little extreme but we are entitled to our free speech lol.

    I love the food network, big fan of Alton, Ina, Tyler, Emeril Big Daddy and Bobby Flay (had to add the last name, I miss Mario Batali.

    I’m annoyed by Giada’s boobs and too little food for her guests and feel sorry for R.Ray… She seems sad and not her cheerful self like in older shows.

    I don’t care for Sandra Lee, she’s too tacky and I’ve never wanted to make any of her dishes, and she’s a serious alcoholic ..

    Paula Deen is allright when she’s alone I DO NOT like her party show.

    That’s all I’ve got to say, keep this page going, I love it!!

  239. mia says:

    Hmm, I never really pay attention to personality or look details on the FN until I hear or read comments about it. For some extraneous reason, Food Network has always been about the recipes and techniques for me.

  240. BOO says:

    RealFoodie, you just read a small, small part of the fun we have here at FoodNetwork Humor! Click on Home page at the top! Keep up with all the new fun stuff!

  241. Student says:

    I watch FN all the time. Some things I’ve noticed:
    1. Sandra- WTF did anyone notice about a year or 2 ago when she got a facelift?!? It has relaxed now, but it was so freakin’ tight it hurt to look at it. Not to mention, her boob job is so big, I am surprised her food doesn’t end up all over them, oh wait, I forgot, she NEVER EATS the food, just the cocktails!

    2. Giada – I get it, you have HUGE boobs for your oompa-loompa sized body. That doesn’t mean your cookbook has to be filled with pictures of you. I returned your cookbooks because I want pictures of the food, not you.

    3. Ina- Love your food, I do reduce the butter and oil and cream from 4 pounds to a tablespoon or so and it still tastes great. All your cookbooks are awesome. However, I agree with above posters, what is up with the staged parties for everyone. Please just cook, your friends are bad actors with even worse exagerrated lisps.

    4. Tyler – Too hot to say anything bad about. I like a man with meat on his bones.

    5. Bobby – I think his a-holiness comes off from being city bred.

    6. Racheal- I think she hates doing 30-minute meals now. And if I hear “I put nutmeg in my dark greens b/c my grandpa did and it gives them that Makes you go hmmm flavor” I will probaby stab myself with a fork.

    7. Duff- Seriously, I want a job where I can hit a bong ALL DAY. I mean everybody in there is high all the time. I watch the show to laugh and sometimes join in ;)

    Love Batali and Bourdain. Bourdain said “vegetarianism is a first world luxury”, I love that quote.

    This site is awesome and even tho I pick at my FN stars, I would be really bored without them.

  242. James Martin says:

    Don’t know if this has made it’s way to you but Paula Deen is opening a restaurant and 1800 square foot Paula Deen gift shop on Cherokee Indian Reservation land in NC! It will be built with a Hurrah’s casino starting in 2010 and opening in 2012 in time for the end of the world. Glad to know the Native Americans are getting some revenge even if it is on one chubby redneck white woman.

  243. Super Secret Ingredient says:

    “Can only eat at “Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives” because more upscale restaurants would mistake him for the dishwasher.”

    More like a crazy hobo.

  244. Steve Davis says:

    Gadia come on if I see her make bruchetta one more time I will chop my head off. Speaking of heads,damn she’s got a big dome. If her family was not rich and pay for her breast augment she would not have a cooking show.

  245. Steve Davis says:

    Guy Fieri is such a poser,with his 80s hair style to thehis hideous yellow gold rings and chains,and those embarrassing 21 jump street hoop earrings,and that bleached little beard thing,where does he get those under sized bowling shirts.He should try making a rap video,he looks like a bloated Eminem,he already changed his name from” Fairy”to Fieri.who told him to put his glasses on the back of his huge head.

    • Christine D. says:

      Someone earlier talked about FN hosts being “slobs” – yes, there are many – but the biggest of all is Nigella. I just cannot watch it anymore. Giant handfulls of food being smashed into her face (what, no forks or knives???); no plates either……. gigantic knives that look like some machete used in African surfaris. What, no set of chef knives? The dialogue is over-dramatic too. Is this Shakespeare? “As I serenly glide into the kitchen.” “The frozen peas are on their way to their Maker.” “The cabbage is about to meet its untimely demise.” WTF????!!!!!

  246. Carrie says:

    – Aaron! good grief, why does he even have a FN show?! He can’t cook worth crap and he can’t pronounce anything correctly!

    – Alex, ugh! I want to hit her sometimes. Her food is awful and she thinks she’s worth a million bucks! Hey, Alex, why don’t you try to use those ingredients (from Chopped) and try to make a meal in 20 or 30 minutes! and then have a snob (like you) to judge your food!

    – Alton, I don’t really have anything against him. He’s pretty cool.

    – Chef Anne Burrell, ugh! she drives me insane when she says: “okay guys you just want to beat the crap out of this!” and “OMG, look at these sexy shrimp that I made” oh and let’s not forget about the head of hair she has!! good lord, she looks like a porcupine!

    – Bobby Flay: hello?! can you say pronunciation problem? I’m from the state of Georgia and he can’t say anything right. He can’t even pronounce ‘Vidalia’ correctly. He always says it “Vih-dall-yuh” when the right way to say it is ”vie-dale-yuh”.

    – Duff: I haven’t seen him do any work. all he does is just sit there and a cackle!

    – Giada: good grief, where can I start?! I hate the way she pronounces stuff: ”poon-chitt-uh”, ”spoo-ghetti,” “musk-uh-poon-ay,” and there are so many others! Lets not forget those low cut shirts! Gosh, I don’t think she even has a shirt that can cover her up! and let’s not forget that ”fake” smile. Do you have to smile when you chop garlic, or go to the fridge?! It’s so annoying!!

    –Guy: his hair looks like a disaster!! and he thinks he’s so cool with his sunglasses on the back of head. WTH?! and then we can’t forget food that he makes! it’s awful!

    – Ina, is a complete nut. With her laughing all the time, throwing a hundred parties in one week, and that wimpy husband of hers… good grief, she needs help! (and her food tastes horrible too)

    – the Neely’s: the two craziest people on FN. They need to get a room! No one wants to watch that smut on TV!

    –Paula Deen: I’m from Georgia and so I favor Paula over most of them, but good lord she uses a way too much butter and salt! and I hate when she starts laughing!

    –Rachel: her voice absolutely drives me crazy and lets not forget about all of those abbreviations that she uses for her food! oh and I hate it when she says, “Yummo!”

    –Robert Irvine (from Dinner Impossible), all he does is yell and run! “Let’s go, let’s go, let’s go!!!” I have never seen him do any of the work before.

    – Sandra Lee, between her “you are gonna LLLLLLLove this”, and “it’s cocktail time”, you just can’t watch her.

    – Sunny Anderson, Lord, it looks like she gains more weight on those chubby little legs on every episode! and she can’t pronounce “Vidalia” right either and she said she lived in Georgia once. come on Sunny, what do you take us for? Idiots?!

    – Emril, I hate it when he says cinimoninininin and BAM!

  247. matyoh says:

    What really kills me is how Alex is that totally snooty, even when she was teaching classes at ICE in Manhattan. What a piece of work she is

  248. Carlo says:

    How on earth does some trying-to-be-cool-and-funny buffoon like Guy Fieri end up on the Food Network? Or Giadda “jaws”? Or “Dancing Anne” Burrell…you know… that female version of Fieri who not only shares his trademark stupid hairdo, but also seems to have inherited his inability to keep her mouth shut. Or that irritating jackass with the northern English accent. Or Rachel Ray? It’s all about the personality, not the skill. If you can draw a couple thousand spectators to see some clown like Guy or Anne perform like a circus chimpanzee, you’ve tapped the American viewer.

  249. Michael says:

    Someone feels sorry for Rachel Ray because she looks sad?! I’m sorry, but I can’t feel much sympathy for anyone who earns $20 million a year. That’s enough for a stadium full of therapists and a six month rest at any (or all) of the most beautiful resorts in the world. If you can’t figure out a way to make yourself happy with all her advantages….well, you’re not trying hard enough. I have to face life every day underemployed in a $12/hr. job and $60,000 in student loan debt. If Rachel’s sad, she should cheer up.

    • Susan says:

      I think Rachael is getting tired of doing 30 minute meals. She is certainly running out of ideas because her meal she made last week didn’t look so hot…

  250. Cyndi says:

    – Alex. It is hard to go from being such a B—- to having your own show and then expecting people to like you. Can’t stand her.
    – Alton, I really like him and find him amusing.
    – Anne Burrell. She makes me sick. The way she licks her fingers is disgusting. The amount of salt she adds to her dishes is ridiculous. Who could possibly eat anything she cooks. And what is up with all the growling?
    – Bobby Flay. Arrogant!!! Enough said
    – Giada: I can’t stand the way she pronounces any word she thinks is remotely Italian. Does she own any clothes that her boobs are not falling out of? She is so stuck on herself that it is sad.
    – the Neely’s. Let’s talk about the fact that the Gina did not start the Neely’s Barbeque but takes all the credit for it. Wonder how Pat’s brother feel about that. You can tell that she is not really that “into” her husband they way he is with her. She gives him dirty looks all the time and is constantly telling him how to cook. They sound more and more like Paula Deen. Y’all this and Y’all that. I was raised in the south and we did not talk that way. Everyone is right when the say to much smut on the show and they need to get a room. They are so annoying that I can’t bear to watch their show.
    –Paula Deen. Please tell me who told her that her blue hair looks good. And those white teeth and painted on tan look ridiculous on a woman her age. I swear if I see her come onto one more young man on her show I’ll scream. I have watched shows from 2005 and her accent was no where near as heavy and she had a lot more class. I believe she has forgotten how she got to where she is today and should really try to recapture that. I saw her on a Craig Ferguson show and she made a complete ass out of herself. She actually licked a stick of butter. She has truly become a real PIG!!!!!
    – Emril. He is pretty creepy.

  251. Michele says:

    Ok, I have read through every comment (and replied to some) and I am currently going through this site, and I have to say I thoroughly enjoy it! It’s hilarious! Keep on keepin’ on! Time for my take on some FN chefs. Some people are funny, some are factual, and some are just plain old MEAN. I fall into all of these categories. =P

    Ina Garten: Way too bland for me to make any assessment. She’s so monotone it’s like watching elevator music.

    Giada: I can honestly say I like her and her show. Though the comments about her rather generous mouth and head have made me laugh my ass off.

    Bobby Flay: I LOVE Bobby Flay. That is my opinion. He is a cool guy and good chef and seems down to earth. I enjoy watching him and I love that he enjoys bold, bright flavors.

    Guy Fieri: Why do so many people have a problem with him? I don’t love him but he seems ok. I have no ill feelings towards him and don’t mind watching his shows.

    The Neelys: Gina has a tendency to grate on my nerves at times but I don’t find their show offensive at all. I think expressing affection for your partner in this day and age is kind of nice.

    Duff: Can’t comment, never watch it. But if he’s hitting the hookah, that’s his business.

    Tyler Florence: The hubby hates him but I am neutral on him too. Only watched his show a few times and he’s just kind of boring imo.

    Anne Burrel: Don’t mind her show at all, the only thing that DRIVES ME NUTS is when she’s talking and starts grunting and doing that annoying GRRRRRR sound. Enough already!

    Sandra Lee: It must be hard opening up all those boxes and cans when you’re shitfaced and worried about your tablescape.

    Emeril: Love him, glad he got off food network, but really, you don’t have to make a 10 course meal out of bologna.

    Alton Brown: Quite eccentric but how can you belittle someone who knows so much about food it’s awe-inspiring? The man is Encyclopedia Brittanica food. You have to respect that. Always learn something new from him.

    Iron Chefs: LOVE Morimoto. He is fierce. I used to watch the original Iron Chef and he won a place in my heart. Cat Cora: the female in me cheers her on. Who cares if she’s gay. Mario Batali: He is the real deal. Never saw his original show Molto Mario but you can tell he is a serious foodie. Michael Symon. I hate to say it but he cracks me up when he laughs. He’s not too bad at cooking either. Jose Garces, the newest member of Iron Chef…. I don’t know what I think of him yet, opinion to follow, eventually.

    ANNNNNNNND Finally, the crowning glory that is Rachael Ray:

    I’m not quite sure how she got famous and I pray and hope that someday she finds a nice home in some foreign country that has no TV but for now I will gleefully avoid her stupid little fake words and annoying voice, along with her show. Her inability to cook also joins the club. Seriously. Yummo? Sammies? The cutesy little adjectives have GOT TO GO. Along with her. *gag*

  252. Hannah says:

    I don’t think of Alex G’s shows will make it.She just comes across as a snob.She isn’t on Chopped anymore due to her ” new ” new show.

    • SaraCVT says:

      Yeah, she is–I don’t understand why people keep saying that, unless nobody watches “Chopped” anymore…a plausible theory, I have to admit, but if that’s the case, why do they remark on the casting? And wrongly so? She IS on this season, people!

    • i heart food network says:

      she is still on chopped and saracvt you are so right

  253. Hannah says:

    To the perso making fun of Guy’s name,Google and learn more.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Guy_Fieri

    He was born Guy Ramsay Ferry to James and Penelope Ferry in Columbus, Ohio, on January 22, 1968. He is of Italian and Irish ancestry.He grew up in Northern California

    His great-grandfather’s name was Giuseppe Fieri,and the surname was Americanized to “Ferry.” He reportedly changed his last name to honor his family roots when he was married in 1995. Newspaper articles as far back as 1996 refer to him as “Guy Fieri.”

  254. Patrick says:

    Poor Giada – she looks like a dwarf – her head is huge with that alligator mouth. The show is all about Giada – not the cooking. Who wants to watch a reality show for cooking? And, has anyone noticed how she has copies all of Ina Garten’s concepts? The filming, the shots, the ideas all come from Ina’s program. Let’s see, we had her face at the Polo Grounds, the horse, the Outdoor concert, the ocean, – only reason we have her on, is to see Ina at 5 p.m.

    PLEASE SOMEONE TAKE THIS WANTABE OFF CAMERA.

    • KT says:

      I always say she would make the best Food-Network inspired giant PEZ dispenser. Her head would be life-sized and the same proportions as she is now – truly realistic, even for a PEZ! I bet they could even put in the massive teeth…

  255. Patrick says:

    Giada with the big head and alligator mouth – stop trying and GO HOME.

  256. Joyful Christy says:

    1. Ina Garten: She is my favorite. Hubby calls her his “fat girlfriend” I like all her food, and she is a peaceful soul.
    The nervous laughing is a bit much.

    2. Alton Brown: I like him okay. He is from where I grew up, so kudos to the homeboy. Some of his shows seem redundent, but mostly enjoyable. Alton, eat a cheeseburger.

    3. Rachael Ray: I like her concept of 30 Minute Meals, and I have liked her other shows(40 Dollars A Day, Rachaels Vacation, ect). She just has to shut her trap every once in a while. Kind of person you would have to tape her mouth shut during sex, literally, or you would get nothing done.

    4. Giada: Sick of her boobs, sick of her mouth, real sick of her over pronounciation. She brings nothing to the table for me.

    5. Guy Fieri: I like him as a host, not as a “chef” though. I don’t care for his recipes, and he needs a dose of Ritalin to calm down, but he is funny, and a bit enduring.

    6. Sandra Lee: Food Networks biggest waste of time. Her food is nauseating, her voice is beyond annoying. Should have Anthony Bourdain take you out back, and use you for target practice. Get this woman off tv.

    7. Alex Guarnaschelli: I have only seen her on Chopped, and The Best Thing. She seems to have a huge stick up her huge ass. You have a few shows, a executive position, a kid, and a hunky husband. Would it hurt you to smile once in a while?

    8. Sunny Anderson: I like her. She seems very personable, and funny. She is A-OK.

    9. The Neely’s: I like their food, but “I want you so bad, take me now” is getting old, and gross. I thought it was cute the first couple shows, now it makes me want to scratch my eyes out.

    10. Duff Goldman: Never watched his show, as I find cake decorating boring(just my opinion), but he is the creepiest looking troll on the network, Yikes!

    11. Tyler Florence: I like him, and his recipes, though as of late, he is so full of himself. He needs to be knocked down a peg or two.

    Melissa- Never seen her show, but she seemed like an idiot on NFNS.

    A couple other revies from me:

    Wolfgang Puck: He is absoulutely the most unhygienic chef I have ever seen. It is disgusting, esp. when he is on HSN. He constantly sticks his chubby little fingers in the food, and tastes it, and retastes it(without washing), then sticks his fingers in someone elses mouth for them to taste it, then resticks his finger in again. I would never eat a dish that he makes, yuck!

    Anthony Bourdain-Haven’t ever seen him cook, but he is hot, and I love his who gives a f*** personality.

    My favorite new show on Food Network is the Private Chefs of Beverly Hills. Love the cast of chefs, and the mightier than God clients. There would be a massacre if I had to work for one of those snobs. I’m so thankful for my life, I would never want to trade places with any of them. Money makes you corrupt, and evil.

    Whew………..

  257. Joyful Christy says:

    My review of a few chefs I left out……….

    Jamie Oliver: Love him, and all of his dishes. Probably the most down to earth chef out there, pip pip cherrio!

    Bobby Flay: I used to really dislike him in his earlier shows, but I really like him now. I don’t find him smug, or uppity at all. I think his dishes are great, he teaches us well, and he is a natural born leader.

    Paula Deen- I used to like her a lot in the beginning. I’m a Ga girl too, but all her over southern talk can get on my nerves. You typical southern doesn’t speak that southern. Michael needs to stick a sausage in her mouth. Her boys are irritating, like hanger ons. I do like her dishes, but I love my heart more.

    I also like Ted Allen, just as a host though.

    Mario B.: I have never been much of a fan of his. He seems all, and mighty. Not crazy about his dishes either, but I do like him on Iron Chef, speaking about IC

    Iron Chef: I like Bobby Flay, Cat Cora, and I dispise Michael Simon(Symon?). How did that guy get his job??? I know, the Next Iron Chef, but he is like nails on a chalkboard to me.

  258. tr says:

    Giada – has made a fortune on convincing the execs at the food network that people really want to see prosciutto, polenta, and paninis cooked every. single. day. at least she doesn’t think she’s god’s gift to men and food (sarcasm).
    sandra lee – the emphasis on L’s & M’s makes me want to stab my ears with one of michael chiarello’s gazillion fennel bulbs. but what’s funnier than watching her dress up as a crazy on halloween. superfluous, of course. that’s the brilliance.
    so there’s sandra, her cocktails & her Llllllll’s; michael, his gayness & his fennel; giada, her prosciutto & her self-love; ina, her insincere laugh & her insane amounts of salt.

    they’re all (“actually”) laughing themselves all the way to the bank. the actually is a shout out to bobby as he uses this word actually all the time. i do love bobby, rachel, emeril, and ina. ACTUALLY, whenever i can’t sleep or feel poorly, i put on barefoot or throwdown and it soothes me. thanks, food network!

    ps: i’ve given robin the attention she deserves.

  259. Paige says:

    I pretty much agree with most of the assessments on the stars. However, no one mentioned the drastic facelift that Sandra Lee had in between making the intro to her show Money Saving Meals and when she is cooking them. Her skin is pulled so tight my kids asked what happened to her face and why she doesn’t look like she can move it. Also, my 11 and 10 year were learning how drugs and alcohol are bad for you. They came home and said “We think that Sandra Lee is an alcoholic” If even the kids see it, the foodnetwork needs to give her some walking papers. Along with many of the others.

    • Amy says:

      1. Ina Garten: I enjoy her shows. She has a calming, peaceful presence and doesn’t get flustered. Her home is beautiful. Yes, she’s rich – so what. She’s worked hard – let her enjoy herself. Her cookbooks are wonderful and I love the way that her marriage works so well.

      2. Big Daddy – Aaron McCargo – he’s my homie – lives in South Jersey about 15 minutes from where I live. I actually love watching his show. The food he cooks is about as unhealthy as you can get – full of fat, butter, sugar but I end up wanting to eat and make everything he’s cooking. I enjoy when he has his kids in the kitchen and he seems delighted to have a Food Network Show. His ego is in check.

      3. Bobby Flay – I LOVE Bobby Flay so much that I would probably watch him make peanut butter and jelly sandwiches if that was what his show was about. Bobby Flay’s Cook Off is one of the most fun shows to watch on the FNC. His biography that was shown really gave some insight into his life and cooking background. He went from being a drug-using high school drop out to one of the most successful chefs in NYC and on TV.

      4. Chopped – another show I DVR every week. Even though the premise is always the same, it’s never boring. Ted Allen should be given more to do then than just announce what’s in the basket. He should get to eat the food too and make comments. Of course, since all of the chefs constantly sweat into whatever they’re making, some of the dishes are pretty disgusting.

      5. Alton Brown: I like him as the host of Iron Chef America but “Good Eats” to me is boring.

      6. Rachael Ray: Her voice is annoying but I’ve gotten such great recipes from 30 Minute Meals that I watch her anyway. Seriously, have you made her Gorgonzola Stuffed Meatballs with Tomato Onion Blush Sauce – 5 Stars! I also loved $40 a day when it was on and went to Hash House A Go Go when I was in Vegas because I saw it on one of her shows and it was fabulous.

      7. Giada: She’s absolutely beautiful and has the most gorgeous smile. If I looked like Giada, I’d stick out my boobs and smile 24/7 too. I think people are just jealous of her name, body, face, talent…. And she can cook. With her family connections, she could have ended up another “Paris Hilton” and she definitely did not – she did something with her life.

      8. Guy Fieri: I like to watch Diner’s, Drive-In’s and Dives, though I worry that he’s gaining too much weight. Wouldn’t cook too many of his recipes though. Love the “Ultimate Challenge” show – wish that was on every week.

      9. Sandra Lee: She’s nauseating. Big head – bony body – she should eat something. Her voice is grating. Food Network’s biggest waste of time.

      10. Alex Guarnaschelli: She is miserable and unwatchable. Unpleasant, mean, and the food that she cooks on her “Alex’s Day Off’ show is pretty disgusting. I like Chopped so much more when she’s not on it.

    • Tessi says:

      Your kids came home from school and told you, “we think Sandra Lee is an alcoholic.” ??
      Really? Do you think you and your kids are watching too much Sandra Lee?!

  260. Carla says:

    Dear Gleda

    you are a wonderful person on tv and I love watching you!!

    Carla

  261. amanda! says:

    ina is my least favorite. snobby bitch, boring as hell… why does she have a show?
    i used to have an epic crush on alton… i have no idea why. maybe because hes AWESOME.
    paulas accent is faker than rachel’s personality and giada’s boobs. that’s saying alot. its oil. not AWWWl.
    guy and anne burrel have the same hair… probably because guys a badass and annes a dyke :p
    the neelys. ohhh the neelys. they are so stereotypical i honestly don’t understand what theyre saying. i feel so out of place when watching them. “ima cookin’ with mah brown sugaaah.” oh so youre cooking with your wife? i just plain dont like them. i watch their show just to see what theyre cooking because it normally looks absolutely delicious.

    i could say alot more but im too lazy. by the way, food network is the bestt!!!

  262. Christine says:

    Your page is TOO FUNNY! Gena Neely is a Raging Bitch and control freak. She is NOT the talented one, her husband is the Talented one. Someone needs to remind the bitch she would be Nothing if it weren’t for her husband. Someone needs to tell her to chill out>

  263. trekkie.tng says:

    I cannot STAND Ina Garten!! She is such a pretentious snob, and I hate her scripted conversations with her “friends”. Note how all of her “friends” are somehow fabulous (rich and gay) so she can make some point to the viewers that she is just so modern for having gay friends. I imagined being invited to a dinner party of Ina’s….seriously what would you talk about? Lowlife people who can only afford mediocre olive oil? Ugh she is so obnoxious.

  264. Debbie Lee says:

    Rachael Ray: It’s always yummo or delish even if it hasn’t started cooking yet. And an overflowing pot is nothing to giggle about.

  265. NCovian says:

    Ok here are a few of my comments. 1. I cant stand Sandra Lee she just gets on my nerves with her dag gone table scapes not only that but is there anything in her house that she drinks other than ALCOHOL. I mean on every episode after she makes her boring recipes before they go to commercial she always has to announce when we come back its cocktail time are u serious????? I think she needs to go to AA and seriously get help. Now about Giada I like her in a way but why is it whenever she cooks her food and taste tests it why does she always have to make sound effects when she eats I mean really I dont need to hear her making noise when she eats that is just disgusting for real. Another thing I dont like about her is that whenever she eats her food she’s either smiling way too much where you can see the food that she has chewed up on the side of her mouth or she eats with her mouth open that is just nasty I dont need to see that. Now about Ina Garten ok so you worked in the white house and when you got married you and your husband you came across a little store in the hamptons well goody goody gum drops for you and now that you live in the hamptons you think you are all that please there have only been 2 dishes that you made that I would actually eat and I happy that you and Jeffrey have been married for soooooo many years. Last but not least Gina Neely you know you really irritate me because you think that you are the favorite daughter-in-law you act as though you are the only Neely wife that deserves to be on the show I saw one episode where you had Galen’s wife on the show and you treated her like a stranger instead of family and girl if I was you and had a FINE husband like you and if he wanted to plant a kiss on me on the show I sure would not be giving Pat a peck like you do I would be proud that my husband would want to kiss me like he does you and another thing what gets me about you I saw you and Pat on the view and you got all hot under the collar because Joy B was talking to your husband and not you girl please. Pat Neely I just love you and stay as cute as you are.

  266. dlovesfood says:

    giada…. fake! F-A-Kay-Eee Fake.

    adam gertler…. lost but has 2 shows on FN what da heck? i didn’t know that being a 2nd Runner-Up loser on TFNS could get you 2 shows on FN (“will work for food” & now “kid in a candy store”)! maybe aaron should’ve lost then he would 2 shows instead of 1.

  267. Nico says:

    I actually like Alton Brown. Yes, he can be a bit quirky, but I love the way he combines science and the art of cooking.

    Ina Garten puts me to sleep.

    I hate how Bobby Flay always lets his competitors win in Throwdown.

    I don’t really know much about Cat Cora, but she is the worst chef on ICA

    I like Ace of Cakes, but it looks like Duff is basically useless. I really like Ben and Geoff, though…they make some cool cakes

    Sandra Lee’s show is about as boring as Barefoot Contessa and her supposed “tablescapes” are hideous at best. Semi-homemade…semi-my ass.

    And as for Giada: http://tv.gawker.com/5406687/giada-de-laurentiis-turns-over+enunciation-into-an-art-form/gallery/

  268. Bonzy22 says:

    “RACHAEL RAY
    Once sang karaoke alone in Hawaii on $40 a day and was ignored by the crowd – and that says more than we ever could.”
    ***************
    LOL. Perfect!

  269. Vic Odin says:

    What a hoot reading through these comments. My thoughts:

    Alton Brown – he brings out the geek in all of us. The man knows his food, someone I’d like to hang out with. Good Eats is pretty corny sometimes though, especially the acting, like his role on ICA.

    Bobby Flay – have come to like him a lot. I think he has a bit of an ego, but if there was one FN celeb whose restaurants I’d like to go to it’s him. Big fan of Throwdown too, really love the interpretations he does on those recipes.

    Giada – tired of her. I won’t deny being a cleavage fan, but I’ve often wondered if they were real or fake, seems like those pups are store-bought. I haven’t actually counted — what does she have 50 or 60 teeth in that mouth? She added nothing to TNFNS this year.

    Cat Cora – she’s gay? What a terrible, terrible waste!

    Anne Burrell – found her annoying at first, but Secrets of a Restaurant Chef is growing on me. Can a growl be endearing? Hasn’t she been a sous-chef on Iron Chef?

    The Neelys – I know the guy is of Neelys BBQ fame but he’s dumber than a tree stump. And they definitely need to get a room.

    Michael Symon – Iron Chef and celebrated restauranteur from Cleveland frickin’ Ohio? Seems like an okay guy in a rough way.

    Ted Allen – does absolutely nothing for me as food expert, Chopped host, Queer Eye guy, whatever…

    Sandra Lee – the MOST annoying voice on FN, but I wouldn’t mind peeking down her blouse.

    Claire Robinson – smoldering hot, but I have to mute the TV, as she takes husky voice to a new level.

    Rachael Ray – speaking of husky, I worry about her, think we’ll see the day she’s a mute. Better start working on sign language. I used to like her a lot, then thought she got a little over the top, now I have to mute the TV. But I admire her climb to the top, not too shabby considering she’s not a trained chef.

    Duff Goldman – interesting/funny if you like loud maniacal laughing. I don’t.

    Tyler Florence – doesn’t move my “interesting FN host” needle one bit.

    Sunny Anderson – I like her. Remember “How’d That Get on My Plate?”

    Melissa D’Arabian – don’t see her around too long.

    Guy Fieri – ought to take a look at his birth certificate and start acting his age. Clearly needs a makeover…

    Paula Deen – Too many YPMs (y’alls per minute). And those veneers are some kind of industrial day-glo white, yikes you could land planes with those. Haven’t figured out the sons hanging around, living large off of Mom? But — on the final day of my life, when cholesterol doesn’t matter, I’ll probably go out eating her food. Deep-fried cheesecake with chocolate and raspberry drizzle and a confectioner sugar dusting, yum!!

    Ina – don’t get her at all, maybe because I’m unable to watch more than a nanosecond of her show at a time. Way too snooty for me.

    Aida – Also seems snooty and full of herself. Only on Ask Aida could someone from Slapass, Mississippi call in and ask how to boil water. And I heard several times the info she gave was incomplete, like she didn’t know the real answer.

  270. Steven says:

    My problem is the neely’s. They just seem so lovey dovey all the time, it’s sickening. I secretly hope they get divorced because the husband catches the wife giving sexual innuendo to an asparagus. But the show lives on. That way, we can watch the fake lovey dovey shit and his face when she is hamming it up for the cameras.

  271. Steven says:

    I felt that Paula deserves her own post. I’m from Georgia originally and let me just say…..I’m sorry. See she didn’t tell us she was going to be doing that when we had our meetings, honest. No self respecting southern woman is going to willingly go in front of a camera for national tv without some mrs. clairol. Sorry it’s not happening. Too vain. And please don’t say that she is trying to come across as “just cooking at home”. Really? really?! So you’re saying she can take the time to bake her skin but not the time to throw some color in her hair? Did she put glue on her teeth? Jesus, she reminds me of that one chick in “There’s something about mary” with her tan and her overly white teeth. Everytime I hear “Hey ya’ll” it makes me want to slit my throat. No wonder Sandra drinks like Otis from Andy Griffith, if I had to work with Paula, I’d drink too.

    Her sons, if those are even her kids and not paid actors, always seem to show up when it’s time to cook. Why not show them when they just rolled out of bed, half awake, and pouring cheerios in a bowl? They come across as “I have nothing to do all day so I’m going to go see mamma in the middle of the afternoon so we can cook.” The shorter son, whatever the hell his name is, is always so ready to jump in and help cook but he doesn’t wash his hands. How do we know he didn’t just get done masturbating to playboy right before he got on camera? At least the taller guy has the common sense to immediately get a sample of whatever Paula is cooking when he walks in.

    And is it me or does her husband look a lot like captain kangaroo and Wilfred Brimley had a kid then peed on it?

  272. iregretnothing says:

    I once had an Alton Brown sex dream. Talk about an awkward adolescence.

  273. Suzi says:

    Found this site on accident. I have been laughing for about two hours now. can’t read anymore tonight. You guys are great.

  274. Chris says:

    The problem I have with Giada is how she promotes this image which is not true. How many times do we hear about growing up in Italy’? Well, according to her bio, she left Italy when she was 6. Most of her childhood is Californian, not Italian. How many of you recall food and how your mom cooked it when you were in pre-school?! Second, her last name is De Benedetti. DiLaurentiis is her mother’s maiden name, which I guess she took to give herself a career boost.

  275. claire says:

    Me too Randi.. i grew up watching my Mother cook.. she never measured.. yet everything came out just wondetful. i am a good cook too…HOW some of these ppl on FN got their own shows is beyond me… Ina is the most monotone voice in the world… Anne Burrell needs medication..and fast!!!! Bobby Flay loves himself to much..Sandra Lee needs AA and quick…the Neeleys need to rent a room.and Paula Deen needs to shut her mouth and just waddle away to the somewhere else…. :D

  276. Laura says:

    Does Ann Burrell have Terets???

  277. FN Watcher says:

    These posts are cracking me up!

    Paula Deen: She says “y’all” WAY too much. I live in the deep south and NO ONE says it in every sentence. Her hair looks TERRIBLE. I like her when she’s genuine. When she’s a guest on Next Food Network Star, for example. I’ll never forget when she told contestant Lisa Garza that she didn’t like her macaroni and cheese. “At all. In fact I hate it”. That was classic.

    Tyler Florence: I like him, but his cooking show is very flat, and it’s at the wrong time of day. He needs a better prime time show than The Great Food Truck Race. I’d like to see him judge Chopped once in a while.

    Ina Garten: She’s a great cook, but she should be the poster child for NFNS contestants on what not do do on camera. She’s so dull and monotone. No personality. Whenever those NFNS stars are monotone, like Brad this season, I want to tell them to explain to the judges that they’re emulating Ina.

    Giada: I like her, but you’re right about the huge mouth and cleavage. I’ve made a few of her recipes and they’re good.

    Rachael Ray: She’s gotten too big for her britches… in more ways than one. I watched 30 minute meals the other day and she seemed so bored. “Back in a few”. She said that several times, every time she tossed to commercial break. No smile.

    Ann Burrell: Seems like a bully to me. Tough, cold, unfriendly.

    Bobby Flay: A genius, I believe. I like him and trust him.

    Guy Fieri: I like him a lot, but I’m so sick of Triple D! He needs a new show. I think he’s awesome. He’s comforting to me, like a big bowl of stew on a chilly day. I love Ultimate Recipe Showdown. I wish they would make a bigger deal of it.

    Cupcake Wars: Terrible show, terrible host (that guy with the sports jacket and jeans).

  278. Mary says:

    Sandra: melk for milk. Ugh!

    • JD says:

      Thank you! Of the numerous annoying things about Sandra Lee and her shows, I’m surprised that “melk” isn’t mentioned more often.

  279. Chris D. says:

    I am so PLEASED Martha Stewart’s new show is pitted against Rachael’s talk show! Loving it! Rachael is immature, boring, silly, etc. Oh come on! Spoonula? (amongst other made up words)
    Melissa D’Asshole MUST GO. Flounder is $2.99/lb????? HAH! Try $6.99 and up! Bacon is cheap? $6/lb as of last week. I’ve made lists of her ingredients; this chick is cooking for at LEAST $30+ on every episode!
    Aarti Farty? Nope. Basic foods with Indian spices added. Yawn…………..
    Everyday Tramp Giada? Same old….. still uses same 3 ingredients every single day. Her dentures need replacing; her stringy greasy hair needs a good washing and a cut. Boobs keep sagging. Phony pronunciations getting worse by the day…….
    By now, I thought the above programs would have been cancelled! Let’s have more of Ann Burrell, Ina, Tyler – the real cooks on FN.

  280. absolince says:

    Stop everything!

    Jeff Corwin is the best host on FN! Period!

  281. Sigrid says:

    Alexandra Guarnaschelli makes a noble effort to come across as warm and cuddly, but her eyes give her away. I think she’s as mean as a snake in real life.

  282. Sigrid says:

    Does anyone else think that Rachael Ray has the ugliest set on the network? AND has anyone else ever seen the appliances she has in real life? They appear to function, but they look about 50 years old.

    • Morgan says:

      Ya, I keep picking her heavy, bright oranges stuff up in Sears or wherever and going.. um, I like this? .. uh, no..
      Wondering why she hasn’t come out w/ a new set. Paula Deen’s set of cooking stuff isn’t bad. Like the robin’s egg blue series of cookware..

      And Rachael’s set? Kitchy, annoying, way too bright. Not sure if they’re going for a 60′s or 70′s look or ugly mod look. Ugh. And kind of cheap looking IMO..

  283. Sigrid says:

    Aarti Sequeira should calm down the people objecting to Giada’s boobs!

    • Chris D. says:

      I just heard that FN is bringing back Nigella! OMG HOW AWFUL IS THIS???!!! No manners whatsoever; sickening to watch. Separates eggs by smashing them in her bare hands. Eats without utensils (french toast, e.g. with syrup slopped all over the place). Chopping knives that look like a Russian hammer and sickle (sp?) set. HUGE, 2 handles and rocks this ugly monstrosity over the food. There’s no storing such a knife unless you want to chop off your fingers. Smashing/stuffing food into her mouth in the kitchen late at night. It’s not cute. It’s repulsive.

      Worse yet: Rachael has yet ANOTHER food show starting 9/25! I won’t watch. This time the manic delirium is conveyed by cooking a week’s worth of meals in ONE AFTERNON. Skip that. How many things will she carry around the kitchen this year? Downright stupid.

  284. renee says:

    She has the coldest eyes imaginable. And when she squints them to make a point, she looks even scarier.

    The whole atmosphere of Alex’s Day Off is somewhat surreal; the way she refers to the items she is cooking with in terms of “naps, resting, relax, vacation” as if they were living things.

    But it all seems like an artificial setup up make Alex sound like a cuddly buddy.

    Brrrrrr, too scary for me. She actually seems a bit like a witch placing spells. “OK, asparagus, now you will rest for a bit, then you will WAKE UP when I put you in ice water…”

    I’m also irritated by Alex downplaying her mother. Ahh, Alex, mom is the one with the connections in the food industry not dad. But Alex always talks as if she takes after dad, that he was the parent that she emulated.

    She even sets up mock contests; mom likes flat leaf parsley, dad likes curly leaf. Of course Alex agrees with dad.

  285. Larisa says:

    I WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH ALTON BROWN.
    THAT IS ALL.

  286. Mia says:

    So I’m definitely a foodie and a home cook who LOVES the Food Network, but I gotta say this website is the most hilarious collection of satire I’ve read in a long time. And it does spell out each and every annoying feature of all of the FN stars that I thought only really bothered me. Glad to see that I’m not alone.

  287. Chris D. says:

    Has anyone browsed website about Nigella? I gave it a whirl last week and it’s downright pornography, right down to suggestive pictures. The blogs (written mostly by men) describe in clear detail waht they want to “do to her”. They think she’s the sexiest woman alive….. rather: she’s an overweight slob without cooking talent and good table manners. I’m still shocked that FN brought her back! I know of NO ONE who watches her show!

  288. Mid Mod Tom says:

    I loathe the way Alton pronounces “temperature”

  289. Keith says:

    Sorry, but I’d marry Nigella in a minute.

  290. Rainn says:

    Alex Guarnaschelli – really comes off snobbish, even when she tries to smile, its like she’s smelling something bad.

    Anne Burrell – why does she make those weird ScoobyDoo/Cookie Monster noises while she’s cooking. “BBRRRROOWWWWNNN FOOOOOODD tastes GOOOOD”

    Sandra Lee- needs to join an AA program. She doesnt even taste the food, but makes sure she gets in 2 -3 gulps of her cocktail. Ever notice how she says to add 1/4 cup of liquor and then proceeds to pour half the bottle…. “Hi, my name is Sandra and I’m an alcoholic”

    Robin Miller – Please, somebody give this woman something to eat. She’s wasting away!

    Nigella Lawson – Please, somebody make her share some of her food with Robin! Waking up, and taking food into bed with her. Seriously!

    Guy Fieri – There’s something fake about him that I hate. And those sunglasses hanging off the back of his head, is that a Cali thing, or just a stupid Guy thing. He should try out for Jersey Shore, he’s got the ‘tanning” part down

    Paula Deen- Come on y’aaaallllll. How can ya not love Paula and Myyyyychael. I wanna knock that blue wig right off her head. She certainly has changed over the years.

    Ina Garten- Should I wear my light blue denim shirt or my dark blue denim shirt.

  291. Abigail Rose says:

    This is my first visit to this site–hilarious, for the most part–a sense of humor is one of the key ingredients for a happy life:)

    That said–I have to stick up a bit for Guy Fieri. Yes, he’s over the top-this is TV, remember?, but he does some good things, too–like going to schools with culinary arts programs, visiting with the students–that’s a good thing and I know he doesn’t earn a dime for doing it.

    Jamie Oliver-I know a lot of people love him, but he just seems grubby and unclean to me, like he needs to be scrubbed–particularly his hands. Eek.

    Emeril-I’ve cooked many of his recipes and haven’t run into a clunker yet. He is a bona fide chef, has certainly paid his dues in the food industry, unlike some of the others on FN–like Rachel, Sandra, Giada, etc. Sure he’s over the top, but at least he has the culinary chops to back him up.

    Tablescapes-Really? Maybe for a very large buffet table, but who has the room in a typical home dining room, on a typical table for 8? You put all that decorative stuff on the table and where are the food/glassware/plates/utensils supposed to go? And who wants to try passing the salt, when you have to dodge large floral arrangements, numerous candles, gigantic placecards and other frou-frou? Less is more here–and stunning effects can be created simply:)

    Proper food handling-I’ve seen more health code violations, and common sense violations–and don’t get me started on the “tasting with the current utensil in use” situation. It’s gross and disgusting–any “mistakes” made in these areas should be cut in the editing room. Better yet, place more emphasis on proper food handling, importance of kitchen cleanliness, etc.

    Will be passing this site along to friends. Keep up the good work:)

  292. Jay says:

    Wow, and I thought I had a lot of time on my hands.

  293. Jay says:

    And it’s 10:35 p.m. where I am (not 2:35). Happy Thanksgiving…

  294. Your Name says:

    Giada- I don’t trust any chef that skinny! I don’t buy that she eats the food she makes-and her smile is creepy and insincere.
    Alex- God, what a bitch. Nothing remotely likable about her.
    Alton Brown-Love him! Super smart.
    Guy- I could hang out with him.
    Anne-Irritates me almost worse than Rachael Ray.
    Paula- Still love her. She makes me feel ok with butter. And I have used a lot of her awesome recipes.
    The Neeleys- Yea, they may need to get a room and it is a little hard to believe they really like each other THAT much, but I do always want to eat their food and I feel like I can make it. That makes a big difference.
    Kat Cora- What can I say? I dig southerners.
    Aunt Sandi :) Ok, maybe she is a silly drunk and makes unnecessary table scapes, but her ideas are pretty user-friendly and I appreciate that.
    Sunny-Give her a break about her weight! She is a cook, you gotta expect her to eat a little. No one talks smack about the junk in Mrs. Neeley’s trunk, but maybe she seems a little more assertive and could kick your ass if you accused her of having a little too much chub.
    All in all-the food network is pretty bad ass. I enjoy it on a regular basis and use the website for recipe ideas on the regular. This site is pretty awesome too.

  295. Your Name says:

    Oh yea, Claire Robinson. I can’t freaking stand her. She enunciates way to much and she looks like her eyes are about to pop out of her head sometimes. Not appealing.

    • Meg says:

      I loved the day Claire went on and on about her secret to making fresh strawberries taste sweeter if they aren’t at their peak. She built it up so much I couldn’t wait to hear her special secret. Finally she spilled it, “sprinkle a little sugar over them”

      Seriously?

      I also don’t like her as the host of Food Network Challenge.

  296. GhostGirl says:

    I have been a FN fan for a long time … and although I still put it on for background noise …. thats all its become. where do I begin?!!

    Ina Garden” Her food really looks delicious … but my boyfriend can’t stand how ofter she talks about “The Hamptons” IT MUST BE NICE!! What I can’t stand is the script and fake situation’s for every show!! Fine … it’s scripted … but can they at least try to act?! …. they read the script like 4 year olds acting out a mother goose story. The other day Ina put together a baket for a friend who just had a baby to take to her mom. This continued with her friend “suprising” her mom with breakfast in bed (the basket that Ina made) Her mother said “look at me I’m not even dressed” in such a fake monotone voice!!! I can recall this scenerio in almost every show!! …. and her husband is so annoying. There is something about him that drives me insane!!!! I know he likes her cooking … but he acts like a 4 year old that got a lollypop everytime he tastes her recipies!! ahhhhh

    Giada: Yeah she’s hott …. but I really feel like thats why FN has her….they always put way too much makeup on her, and she is always wearing something really low cut! Her food looks good …. but would it kill her to use bacon instead of panchetta once in a while? And she uses Nutella in every damn dessert!! Its like … when ever I see shes going to make a cake or cookie I know Nutella is in the title. Her husband must be so sick of the stuff!! I mean….. she even put it in the middle of a wonton for god sake, and pawned it off as chocolate ravioli!!

    Guy – I use to like him when I watched the next food network star. Now he really annoys me. When ever they have a chicken dish on DDD I know he’s going to say “Winner, Winner (insert retarded pun) chicken dinner” … or “this is on the corner of delicous in food town” …. AHHHH!! ,,,, and how many times does he talk about “the hunch tech.” …. I don’t need someone showing me how to eat like a caveman!! I’ve also noticed that he’s becoming a lot more rude on his DDD destinations latly. Just watch you’ll know what I mean!

    The Neely’s – I CAN NOT STAND THEM!! Pat seems like this little love sick puppy, and everytime I hear “give me some suga” I want to take a baseball bat to my sugar jar. Don’t get me started on the pig obsession gina has. “I love my little piggies!!” Yeah …. you love them so much …. could you watch one get killed to make your sandwhich? I’m not a vegan or anything … but its creepy how she loves them so much…. but eats them. I love cats …. but I don’t eat them!! lol ….. Pat is so whipped I could swear he has lash marks on his back. Gina talks to him like a child! Drives me crazy …. its the only show on FN that I have to change when it comes on!

    I truly feel like food network searches for certain personalities to build a show around … and not cooking anymore!

  297. xvelvet77x says:

    I can’t believe how no one (I think?) has mentioned how sometimes Giada sounds like she’s having an orgasm when she tastes something. Totally freaks me out.

  298. Ronn says:

    I would like to cast of that Guida chic, the barefoot contessa, and flip a coin to decide paula or rachel.
    Alton Brown is my hero.

  299. Poppycock says:

    Aaron Sanchez…..I hate this guy I really hate how Ted Allen queer eye for a straight guy, guy calls him Arrrrrrrron. Dude it’s Aaron, I don’t care if you have a little thingy over the ‘O’…it’s fucking Aaron.

    Alex G: Saw her on a Food Network Challenge from many pounds ago and she was almost in tears. Her judging bugs me.

    Anne Burrell: OH MY GOD!! Her hair needs to go and WHO in the hell wears a skirt to cook in?

    Giada: T & A of the “food world” I’ve been to Italy, she is killing the pronunciation of EVERYTHING! The Italians don’t talk like that.

    Alton: YOU ROCK!

    Paula Deen: Your food is wonderful, but you my dear are annoying. The way you stuff food into your pie hole is a little disturbing to me.

    Kat: She’s pretty cool seems quite down to earth, but I have never seen her on anything but Iron Chef America. Did I miss something?

    • Poppycock says:

      Oh yeah…

      Guy: I have tried some of your recipes. My husband who will eat almost anything REFUSED to eat this slop. I have followed your recipes to a T and they my friend are AWFUL! Especially you celery root mash. BLAH BLAH BLAH!!!

  300. Beth says:

    I love the drinking game idea

    Ina – “How good is that” and variations
    Sandra – “By the way”
    Giada – her Italian-pronounced words
    Anne Burrell – every time she grunts

    Every time, Paula, Emeril, Neelys mispronounce a word
    (By the way – haha – Paula, Neelys and Big Daddy all produced by Gordon Elliott – apparently he encourages overacting)

    • Pam says:

      I think food network has really gone to hell. It is all so staged. And all the comments are right.. Paula is disgusting with the licking of her fingers, she calls tempura, tempurea Flay seems to be an a hole Rachel is just to cute to stomach so…. why do we watch?

  301. michele says:

    UPDATE, PLEASE! With all the new chefs, how about a weekly new bio posting — or run a contest inviting your readers/listeners to submit bios and then choose the best for each host?

  302. Megan M says:

    The Neely’s: Commonly known to bar-b-que with the ‘turn it over after five minutes method’ which is also said to be their favorite sexual position. Favorite flavoring spice and ‘hot to trot’ ingredient: Brown Sugggggggggaaaaaar. Which is incidentally the nickname they use for sex, each other, and also what led to their daughter’s existence.

  303. Megan M says:

    Iron Chef Michael Simon: Current interests include but are not limited to; Teflon pans, intriguing housewives with baritone lack-luster voice overs, and relating to men who enjoy cooking and’ Bic-razoring’ their dome-pieces on a daily basis. Believes the key to a womans heart is obnoxious food humor and daily food-gasams (without relent).

  304. Megan M says:

    Anne Burrell: Type in ‘Is Anne’ on Google. You will find no answers to the most common search about her. An elusive and jovial creature, Anne enjoys confusing the general public about not only her sexual orientation, but also her excitement about pancakes. Seriously, she loves pancakes.

  305. Casey says:

    Everything about Ina Garten is rehearsed! From the moment she wakes up to the moment she’s knocked out! Always braggin’ about her Hamptons life and her “friends” who we all know were paid to feature on her show cuz her life is THAT lonely! I mean, I watched one episode where she invited random college girls off the street to have lunch at her house. If that aint desperate then I don’t know what is. Always telling us she got her herbs from her huge garden… I’ll pop her lil cabbage patch face!

  306. Fulltmdad says:

    Ah…Ina…do you think she cooks special for Jeffrey just to ‘bed him down’? Giada….well if you had an uncle as famous as she has, you’d have your own program as well ! As far as prouncing Italian words correctly…why not? No one says anything when Hispanics do the same. Mario, Bobby, Alton, Emeril…the founding fathers of the entire deal…who cares about their personalities…they all cook quite well! Rachel…is Rachel! Nothing more, nothing less! Paula…is it me, or does she say ‘Y’all’ more than any self-respecting Southerner would ever say it? Michael Chiarello [sp]…great chef…who cares about his ‘gayness’ or his ‘lazy L’s’. Guy Fieri [or Ferry] like Rachel is….Guy Fieri. The Neelys…boring and simple…BTW…are they related to the famous BBQ folks in Memphis? In in all…every ‘star’ has had great shows, great recipes, great ideas….and just as many bombs! They’re all human! Anyone know what happened to The Romangnoli’s…favorites from the ’70′s!

  307. Jim says:

    ALTON BROWN: The self-righteous, self-absorbed, arrogant, Food Network know it all. You’ll see Alton frequently sporting his Bong (Bald up front, Long in the back) while hocking grape juice. Be sure to catch his nearly 1000 “uuuuh’s” per episode, as he fakes spontaneity and pretends there is no script. You’ll know it’s an Alton show if the ingredients require a ladder, a tightrope, a cathode ray tube, and six bricks.

    Also, Alton is known as the only Food Network personality that gets a free pass on FNH, because he gave the site $100 once. If Sandra Lee ever gave the site $50, the site would be blank.

    • Titteh suker says:

      Lol obviously you have never made any of his recipes other than the fried turkey. His recipes are always pretty good, pretty simple, and I think he’s pretty funny. I agree he can be smug but he’s taught me so much at this point I don’t care.

  308. James says:

    It seems almost overwhelming how most people on here can’t stand Guy Ferry, Sandra Lee, and Rachael Ray!

  309. FayFay says:

    Regardless of your personal opinion of Alton, his nerdiness, campiness and disgusting skin growths (and here I’m paraphrasing someone else’s opinion), you must admit that at the very least his show is something different than the usual rancid pablum that FN likes to shove down our throats. Plus, every recipe of his that I’ve tried has worked out for me, unlike the recipes so thoughtfully provided us by the Semi-Anorexic Drunk who wears the drapery. Did anyone see her Halloween special where she dressed up like Madonna? Convincing, except Madonna would have burned herself alive rather than be seen in that forty dollar Dress Barn disaster.

    Guy Fieri is the very definition of douchebag. If you see a person in real life that looks or acts like Guy, you may rest assured that he is a douche and give him some distance. If there was a field guide to spotting the North American Douche, Guy would be on the cover.

    Rachael Ray was one of my favorites until I saw her dump grape jelly all over a perfectly good steak. Everything went downhill from there.

    I guess I’m just sick of Paula & Ina. Same fifteen dishes over and over. Good vanilla, lotsa buttah, yeah yeah yeah ad nauseum.

    Neelys, PLEASE stop subjecting us to your PG13 double entendre. We have the feeling that you guys run off during commercial breaks and have hot buttered wild nookie. We also do not believe that you wash your hands post coitus before you return to the kitchen.

    Anne Burrell is pretty cool, but she and Guy have exactly the same haircut. One day she’s going to turn around and there will be upside down sunglasses on the back of her head. FN executives will then have to publicly admit their top secret cloning program. She is kind of a bitch on WCA, but then, it can’t be easy trying to teach people who haven’t made anything more advanced than a Cup ‘O Soup to actually cook decent food. People who routinely forget to do important things like lower the heat and thus produce charcoal with a thin grueley sauce. I’d lose my mind.

    Mario can do no wrong.

    And what flaming moron gave Brian Boitano a cooking show? Did anyone watch this travesty? I saw the one where he made a three course meal for his handyman. (His HANDYMAN! The guy would probably have preferred a check!) The food looked wretched and the premise was so inane that I never watched it again. Brian was charming and lovely, but you kind of need to be able to cook to host a cooking show.

    Michael Symon I was tepid about until I saw him on his Cooking Channel show. He’s all about technique, which is better than being about “good” ingredients or something gimmicky like overusing a common ingredient (buttah) or tablescapes from the trailer park.

    What great fun this site had turned out to be! I’m a wife and mother of four, so I cook almost constantly and FN and Cooking Channel are almost always on when I’m in the kitchen. There’s a lot of garbage on both (I hate those stupid FoodJammers bastards hate hate hate you think you’re so smart building a pasta machine out of a filthy car jack and your edible ugly art show where you talked that poor girl into licking the wall and it looked for all the world like the opening scene of some European porno you’re annoying as hell with your stupid knit caps and your jam bands in the background who GAVE you a show go get a real job maybe working in an actual kitchen with actual KITCHEN SUPPLIES DETEST ALL OF YOU), but if you can hold out through Sandra, you can get to the good stuff later on.

    And now that I’ve spent my entire morning laughing my butt off at everyone’s posts and chewed your ear off with my opinion, I’m gonna go make pound cake–Good Eats recipe.

  310. CrayCray says:

    I am a black female and I can NOT stand the Neeleys. They are so effing annoying. It seems like they are shucking it up for the cameras. Can you just act educated. Thesy seem nice but are beyond annoying. ” I sho loves some o’ dem greens…looka here me an my wife gon make us some gud fixin’s ”
    The earlier episodes were the worst. it is getting better.
    If they were my parents I would never eat the food because god only knows what happened on the counter while the turkey was in the oven…well god and the “fine” people of FN.
    I agree with pretty much everything eles said though.

    • Eddie says:

      I was saying the exact same thing I’m glad someone agrees with me.. They’re alright though

    • Fleur77 says:

      I can not agree with you more!

    • Heather says:

      I completely agree. I watched the show the first time, and thought they were talking like walking stereotypes. I thought other black people were going to be PISSED, and rightly so. They are just ridiculous. They talk like they are out of an episode of Roots. I’m just waiting for one of them to say “yes, massah.”

  311. Travis says:

    Adam Gertler is adorable.

    I’d put his EVOO dispenser to good use.

  312. FayFay says:

    One more thing–in the words of Tina Fey, Robert Irvine needs to put those guns away before someone gets hurt. I was watching Restaurant Impossible last night and kept waiting for his shirt to burst into shreds, Incredible Hulk-style. “Chef MAAAAAAAAAAD!”

    • mr. melee says:

      Robert Irvine is the very soul of douchebaggery. I’ve never seen him actually cook anything that i thought might be remotely appetising (sp?) much less cookable. Te most charming of the lot (with great cookable recipes) is Laura Calder. Where is she?

  313. cooking mom says:

    okay i read all of the comments, wow i love this site. im addictive to food network. since i just gave birth and decided i need to learn to cook this was going to be the best way of doing it…well 2 months into it i leanred a lot of tips i can use in my kitchen and i have learned that not all FN “chefs” are talented and informational….

    ina garten- she has class but she clearly eats her own food and needs to drop some weight.

    paula deen- “add a stick of butter” let me tell u her plates shoudl be called heartattack casserole, or Lipitor city hamburgers. i remember watching one of her shows where she brought in a friend to make pecan pie… her friend looked like she ate anopther person

    Giada- i respect her italian culinary knowledge but i agree she smiles way too much. it doesnt look appealing as it looks scary.

    Anne burell- she talks to food with sexy and all kinds of crazy description b/c she prob isnt getting any and food is the one thing that can keep her happy.

    Sandra lee– omg god lady u need to calm down with “lllllloook it alllll these fabulous dishes” llllooook at … i dont want to look at ur dishes ur are the creation of martha stuart and hello kitty’ offspring….

    Neely’s – okay one thing i saw the episodes with your family over and making food for the whole clan….. big fat obese and all quarterbacks looking ppl…

  314. Brenda says:

    Mario Batalli looks unclean. I would not want him cooking anything that I had to eat. I fear it would have a nasty red beard hair in it.

    Giada is just WRONG. Stupid bitch breaks out into an italian accent when it suits her. I hate people who do that.

    I met Michael Chiarello at his restaurant in Napa Valley. He was truly a SUPER nice guy, offered to let me take his picture and was really really sweet. I’d do him if I could. He’s gorgeous.

    Bobby Flay acts like a douche waffle. If he ever joined the military someone from his own side would shoot him in the head.

    • Chris D. says:

      Brenda: I was born in South Philly. 99.9 % Italian. They make fun of Whore at Home Giada all the time and boycott her program. The fake pronunciations (which change every 2 to 3 minutes), sagging/exposed boobs. Shark teeth (which are dentures, I am positive). Pouring a bottle of olive oil on cheese cake stuffed with basil. EWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!! A gay husband. Bobble head, forehead as large as a billboard, and complains that she can’t grate cheese b/c it “makes my hands hurt!!!!” that’s why she got thrown out of pastry school in Paris. It was “TOO HARD!!!!!” She has no license, no credentials, no NOTHING. She is the laughing stock of all Italians both here in the USA and Italy. if she only KNEW how much she is hated!!!!

  315. Jess Mave says:

    Ina Garden is a pretentious snob. Even her expressions (the way she always looks down with her nose raised at the camera.) She talks in a very clipped, yet incredibly dull voice. I agree, she does put the word “good” in front of every ingredient (darn, I wanted to use my bad vanilla) and it’s clear she has money to spend and knows how to flaunt it. Of course she only owns like 2 shirts. I also noticed that she’s the only t.v. chef who does not use cage free or organic eggs. She makes seafood dishes waay too much. And the relationship between her and her husband is so… ick.

  316. Meghan says:

    I also heard Ina refuses to cook for the homeless or do any charities, but I hope that this is not true. She’s such a phony though. Her smile is so forced and for lack of a better word, snobby. She has no life or excitement when she cooks. How true is that?

  317. Mark Doyle says:

    Bobby Flay- bit arrogant but still fun to watch, energetic

    Paula Deen- usess too much “buttah” but there is something sweet and calming about her, plus hse has some good dessert recipes

    Giada- A little bit plastic but very passionate about her cooking

    Neely’s- A bit too much pda but amusing to watch nonetheless

    Rachel Ray- A bit quirky but def. fun to watch

    Ina Garden- No reedemable qualities whatsoever. She’s boring, cold, snobby, pretentious and obnoxious. GOOD vanilla, GOOD wine GOOD bye as I change the channel.

    • i heart food network says:

      this website- full of s**t. its a complete joke. also its a waste of time and a poor excuse for what some people call quote entertainment

      • Grammar Nazi says:

        For the love of grammar, don’t write out the word “quote” when there are perfectly good quotation marks for that purpose. People say “quote” when they’re speaking. They use quotation marks when they’re writing. Did you sleep during elementary school?

      • Lamb says:

        I think Guy may be reading this site again.

  318. Worst Cook In My House says:

    Stumbled across the site a couple hours ago. Been wiping tears of laughter since…

    Disclaimer: Wife and I first found FN a couple years ago… watched ICA in amazement of the creativity, and we were hooked. Now, two years and thousands of wasted hours of watching later…

    Bobby Flay.- Can you even make a cup of coffee without having a sous chef fire up a blender full of “the signature red and green sauces”?

    Anne Burrell – Wife thought I was watching adult films because she heard all the groans, grrrs and “big meat” references on SoaRC.

    Robert Irvine – Saw him on “The View” a couple days ago. The clucking chickens (errr, hosts) wanted to talk more about his abs, biceps and gym habits than cook. Congrats chef, you’re now a parody of yourself.

    Guy Fieri – Duuuuuuude, puhleeze. If you have to try that hard to be cool, you’re not.

    Giada – watchable for only two reasons, but her blouse almost covers them. She’s almost as creative as the cooks at Olive Garden.

    Pauluhhhh – Is there enough buttuh in the world to re-create one of her dishes? Eating a week of her cooking will give you more heart attacks then guys from SNL;s “Superfans” skits suffered… in total.

    Ina – Next time i make it 5 minutes watching her with out grabbing the remote will be the first. If I ever need to throw a snooty house party in the Hamptons, I’ll call.

    Alton Brown – Love “Good Eats” because you learn WHY things happen, as well as HOW to cook it. Cant find a fault outside of the “if Guy had less hair” look.

    Marc Summers – What happened to you, and how much are you paying FN to keep Unwatchable on the air? And thanks for telling me that Cheetos actually have cheese in them.

    Aunt Sandy – FN’s Boozemaster General, with design tastes that make trailer park inhabitants shake their heads in disbelief. A red plastic table cloth with a green felt runner that was once from a blackjack table for a holiday dinner? Earl, you save some of those beers for Christmas morning!

    (PS… Sandy, next time you’re in SoCal.. the jello shots are on me!)

  319. Eddie says:

    How about Sandras Pumpkin Cheesecake things.. Where she gutted a cheesecake and a pumpkin pie from like BJs or something.. Wouldn’t it be cheaper and easier to mix cream cheese and canned pumpkin pie filling?

  320. Chris D. says:

    Anyone notice that Melissa D’Asshole is GONE from the hosts list? Not surprised. Bottle of Merlot $3.00. Pound of tilapia – $2.99. Dover sole – $2.99. “Expired milk” – 75 cents!!! WHO IS SHE KIDDING? No wonder she’s not included on FN anymore……. I’ve sat with a calculator on her so-called $10 meals. The price tags START at $40. Some weeks, it’s near $60. FN has GOT to get rid of this delusional twit, right along with Whore at Home Giada.

  321. Rose says:

    something interesting about Giada that might want to be added. as many people think she might go from super sweet girl to b—- after the cameras turn off, she swears like a sailor when just with her friends or whateve4r. she honestly does, shes admitted to it in interviews….

  322. i heart food network says:

    All these people leaving negative comments are a bunch of LOW LIFE LOSERS!!!!!!! Just because you dont like someone doesnt mean you have to trash them time and time again. All you people are just jealous because these people actually have a career where as you will never have a decent job. You’ll just be out on the street sitting on your sorry a** wishing you could be as successful as these people are

  323. KT says:

    Only my opinion here but…

    I think (I Heart Food Network) ^ you’re missing the point – it’s http://www.Food Network Humor, not http://www.Praise Food Network or http://www.Hope to god one of the chefs read my post so they’ll like me.com

  324. aamills says:

    The thing that pisses me off about giada would be her evil miniature child hands and her obnoxious way of peeling garlic and saying “parmesan.” I dislike her and would smack her with her lemon zester.

  325. ghostinthekitchen says:

    My entire family, including my little children, have always been convinced that Jeffrey Garten has a girlfriend in the city. He’s never around for any special occasions, parties or holidays. Typical Ina monologue:
    “It’s Thanksgiving tomorrow but Jeffrey has to work all day and probably won’t even come home, so I’m making a Thanksgiving picnic for him and his secretary. How great is that?”

    Giada’s man hands.

    I like Robert Irvine a lot. Yeah, he lied about cooking for the Queen, but he makes up for it by scraping dead mice out from under the stove on “Restaurant Impossible.”

    I like Nigella Lawson because she looks like a Bond girl but is reallly fat and wears those black stretch pants all the time. I’m not a lesbian but I’d love to see what her body really looks like because she wears such “strategic” clothes to hide it.

    I love Jamie Oliver. Yeah, he is dirty looking and has that sloppy mouth and can’t quite talk properly. He kind of reminds me of Harry Caray who used to be the Cubs’ announcer. Still, I’d love to cook with him in that potting shed he uses for “Jamie at Home” which was a great show that, of course, FN conveniently aired at 8 o’clock on Saturday morning.

    There is definitely something very un-happy going on in the Deen family. Not sure what. I think the “boys” are still pissed off that Mama made them sell chicken salad sandwiches out of a paper bag throughout their childhoods but are trying to reconcile their anger with the nineteen billion dollars they all now share.

    I hate Anne Burell or however you spell it.

    How many people are now working at Charm City Cakes? I liked that show when it was just like five of them. I agree that there must be a giant hookah in the refrigerator that comes out between takes

  326. Morgan says:

    Okay, here goes:

    Bobby: So cute, nothing bad to say. I think he has a strong personality in some ways probably, but I think he’s sensitive and has a good heart.

    (okay, wait for it.. I can’t be completely mean here..)..

    Rach – *sigh. I do absolutely love love love her recipes – they just plain good. I want to really really love her, but I’m tired of the half-smile. Why does she look pissed off most the time? Is it that she doesn’t want to be too sickeningly sweet? Plus, the look sometimes she gives (the half-smile) to me looks like she’s a little constipated.

    Batali – OY. Sorry, but Mario, cut those red locks, would you PUHLEEEEEAAAAASSSEEE.. For us home cooks who watch you and skeeve at the thought of any of that hair grease getting into the wonderful and talented dish you’ve prepared.. Ugh – and the crocs.. lay them to rest. .

    Nigella – hate her. So superficial and doesn’t appear nice at all.

    I’m surprised no one mentioned Claire. Might be because she’s a little on the ‘new’ side. All I have to say is her show on FN, was too much of her to begin with – Then they had to replace Keegan Gerhart or whatever his name is on FN Challenge with her as the announcer. O.M.G. Kill me NOW. Please. I’m sorry, but if I have to look at that girls’ big white head or her yellow-and-black plaid vests or I’m-uncomfortable-wearing-these-leather-pants pants.. I’m going to hurl and then hurl the tv as well…

    Tyler…. Tyler who??

    Ina.. *ugh… Ina… I will say Ina has the most phenomenal baking recipes ever created on the planet. The choc cake recipe in her book is totally to die for, as is the peach and raspberry crisp, but INA.. The next time you have a little “casual comfortable high society my gay friends’ flowers all around and plus some people I picked up on the street” party? … don’t call me. Okay? Ya, she’s def in her bubble over there in the heavenly hamptons. (wretch)

    The Neely’s: way too much sex going on on that show. Some people associate food with sex. I, however, find that more repulsive than just about anything else you could connect with food.

    Speaking of uncomfortable: Paula Deen’s mouthfuls of food at the end.. OMG.. Ghee – roooss.. Oh my gosh, she’s a nice person and I honestly like her – and I’m not hatin’ anything she does EXCEPT THAT. Way too sensual and gross.

    Marcella whatever-her-last-name – I actually liked. I thought she’d be a mexican Giada, but she’s way more down to earth and her recipes sound good.

    Giada. I took one look at her chiclet teeth and immediately disliked her. Sorry to be a hate, but she’s wayyyy to perfect. That episode where she traveled and you saw her in a bathing suit? Are you kidding me?? This girl should have just been a model and been done with it. Ugh. It makes me sick. And it’s one thing to be a perfectionist and be stunning. It’s a totally other thing to show your cleavage and wear tight fitting clothing on EVERY episode! And her little perfect way of talking and chewing and smiling and…. aghhhhHHHHGHGHAHAHHH! I would rather chew on a wrench than watch her.

    Cat Cora – Weird, but determined. She had a slight air of mystery on Iron Chef. Ah. Then it turned out she was a married lesbian with four boys. That explains it.

    Alton – you do yourself and your incredible intelligence a huuuuge disservice with those horrendously hack and embarrassing skits you do on your program. Let me ask you – who’s idea was that anyway? Yours? .. Huge surprise. Extremely talented in cooking and memory/and intelligence, but acting – not one of his strong suits.

    I almost forgot about the queen of cheese and oddball eccentricities. Sandra Lee. Oh, Sandra, I thought you were completely crazy the minute I saw you on air. Tablescapes? More like, whatever I could raid at the dollar store and whatever they could give me there for half-off.. Although, you never know, one day maybe I’ll want to match the potholders to the crummy cloth napkins to the 1-foot-tall margarita glasses.. You just never know…
    Oh – and I hate to say it – I actually have taken to watching the first 2 min of her show – just so I can laugh and half-vomit at what she’s got cooking. Without fail, it always sounds like a horrible recipe to me.

    Duff – He and his little laugh annoyed the absolute crap out of me at first, but now I think he’s just is the way he is and he seems .. I might be off here, but like he was a little spoiled or something growing up. He seems to play at work all day. Honestly, is it just me or does he seem completely non-committal? Your quintessential all-I-wanna-do is play ice hockey, snow board and visit Timbuktu..

    Mike Chiarello – really seems to have some good recipes and ideas going – even if his house does look too perfect and gay..

    Sunny – she used to irritate me.. well.. i don’t watch her much now, but truthfully, her food looks good but it seems like a lot of appetizers and small-ish meals that seem unnecessary when you’re trying to go for healthier, figure-friendly meals..

    Melissa D’Arabian – She’s cool.. I wanted her to win on NFNS but once she did, I think they screwed her with the name of her show. I think she maybe should have just winged it with ‘home-cooked and fabulous’ meals or something that would give her a little more wiggle room..

    Adam Gertler – he’s always annoyed me. I feel like some people just live to annoy others and he seems like one of those people. Maybe he’s just a little hyper. Altho, he’s getting better and I think he’s a nice guy.

    Guy – He’s sweet and I don’t know why he got so much crap on here. The whole “cocktail” thing – unfortunately joining the ranks of Sandra Lee. Plus, it would be nice if they cut that a little, realizing there are people out there who just can’t drink and who are actually alcoholics (not myself, but I think it would be considerate.) Maybe make something non-alcoholic. Lord knows this country needs a few good non-alkie drinks to ease it up a bit..

    Michael Symon – so adorable and loooove his laugh! Seems like a genuinely great guy who is a talented chef.

    Alex – she took a beating on here.. I really like her. I think some people mistake her quiet, gentle sarcasm and humor for snobbishness. She reminds me of a friend of mine. They’re artists. They get very excited and wrapped up in their art and their work. They live and breathe it. She seems like a really fun and sweet person. ♥ her.

    Arrrrroone – kind of pretentious. not a huge fan of his show.

    I really like Aarti. She seems sweet and her dishes look fab. Def going to get some going soon.

    • Morgan says:

      oh – must clarify – the Aarrrrone – was Aaron Sanchez.

      Totally love love love Aaron McCargo, Jr. What a sweetie-pie. Seems like a good guy and what awesome looking dishes!!! You rock Aaron!!!!!

    • chris says:

      Change the channel if you are an alcoholic and can’t watch someone on tv make a drink…those of us who are not ARE interested in the cocktail recipes.

      Trying to be PC on a cooking show? REALLY?? Give me a break!

  327. Sprinkles says:

    I am waiting for you guys to have ‘Kitchen Boss’ added to this site – Why on earth would anyone think he would make a good cooking show host? Are they that desperate?

  328. Chris D. says:

    Anyone catch Whore at Home’s latest disasters? First she was supposedly cooking “Peruvian” style. Oh yeah? The people of Peru DO NOT DUMP PARMEEEESHAAAAANNNN Cheese on their food!!! Next? A bake sale. Oh yeah? Everyone gets1 cookie each. Done. And she makes SCONES STUFFED WITH SALAMI !!!!!!!!! EWWWWWWWWWW !! This is so vulgar it made me want to puke on the TV set. Imagine how people in England feel about her ruining a divine British pastry! With every “new” episode, she’s getting worse and worse. FN has GOT to dump this no-talent phony shark toothed bobble head with man hands. Enough is enough!

  329. Andy says:

    I think anne’s show would be alot better if she cooked in the nude. Would be alot more fun to watch. Just my 2 cents

  330. TrendyMusic says:

    LMAO at this entire thread! I’ve only been watching the FN for 2 years as I’m not much of a television person, but I do have a couple gripes to share!

    1st- *pause* yes Paula Deen did just put a half pound of butter on that steak. My lord. She seems like a fun person but her accent makes me want to leap out of a moving car.
    2nd- Giadi….Can’t stand her worth a damn. She tries so hard to make complicated dishes yet it all looks like milk and cereal to me. I’ve never watched an entire episode of her show. I was especially annoyed when she made “lamb lollipops” for a kids get together!!! Um, negative!
    3rd- Ina, at work we had it on one day and someone made a comment about her taking all the umph out of their step. She’s extra boring and I agree with a comment from up above, does remind me of tranquilty and water running over rocks. And…who are all these friends? Not sure I get it.
    4th- Aaron McCargo jr. I like his personality and his food would be great at a frat house, but I cannot get over his earrings. I wish he’d take them out. Oh, and I don’t like the new set.
    5th- Bobby Flay has more shows than Oprah at this point I think. He’s fun to watch on throwdown and when he gets pissed on ICA I crack up.
    6th-Sandra Lee…I guess I’m not really up or around when her show comes on. But the couple of shows I did catch she used crockpots! CROCKPOTS! Really tho? Why not go all out and use the microwave as well. Someone mentioned to me the other day that her outfits match the curtains and table settings. SMH
    7th- Anne Burrell used to annoy the crap out of me because I felt she was too whacky and never made any sense ie: little cuties, thank you for coming bowl, finishing oil on already greasy pizza?, 7 cups of salt into boiling water for pasta…it must taste like the ocean. But then I read an article about her and something clicked and now I kinda like her and try to watch her more. Still not sure about only wearing skirts but *shrug*
    8th- The Neely’s I like but I do agree the sexy couple thing can get a little annoying. Ive probably tried their recipes the most.
    9th- Rachel Ray needs a throat lozenger STAT! I do however like the fact that she uses dark meat chicken in her recipes.
    10th- Sunny Anderson I feel brings fun back in the kitchen. Plus she can get it cause she’s hot! I couldn’t watch her at first because her hair would drive me nuts, but in her recent seasons the short cut is much better. Yes I too agree hearing about her “dude” “guy” “boyfriend” “Jason” is getting crazy old. How come we’ve yet to see a picture of him? I used to listen to her on Hot97 and she still has the same personality. Her recipes seem ok but I’m not into her drinks. I think I just watch to see those hips.
    11th- Claire Robinson OMG shoot me and then burn the pieces. Her voice is too deep and at times I find myself saying “what you sayin fool?”. LOL at the comment about her nostrils.
    12th- Aarti Party, I hate Indian food with great passion so I have yet to watch her show. Maybe I’ll make a point to catch it this weekend.
    13th- Never saw Robin Miller, Emeril, Mario, Alton or the late night shows that come on. Like I said I’m no pro about FN. I do however love ICA.

    Thanks for starting this thread it’s funny. And, as far as I know the Cooking Channel isn’t available where I am so I can’t comment on how it’s better than FN.

  331. Giada's Publicist says:

    Speaking of being gay, I thought men loved boobs, so why are you men hating on Giada’s? Her show is the only one my husband will actually watch without making snide comments. I get cooking ideas, he gets visual stimulation. So, male boob-haters, do tell… what’s with the complaints?

  332. mfdc says:

    Guy makes me gag he gets paid to eat. All I see is his big giant mouth chowing on burgers making disgusting sounds such as “ummm ” “yum wow” amazing. Never a bad word about anything. He drives a Lamborghini, and he does is eat. I hate it!!!!

  333. Avid FN Fan says:

    this website is funny bc i watch mostly all fn shows. i must agree that i prefer all cooking as opposed to reality shows and competitions. but i am more sympathetic to the fn cooks than most people but i appreciate the differing personalities (some more than others)

    i think some folks are taking the critique a little too far and i only say this bc some of the comments directed towards the hosts hit below the belt…

    i mean how can we talk about someone “butchering” the english language when our english is not the same as great britain??? one could argue that american english is butchered. and who cares if paula says pecans with a long e as opposed to a short e…the fact of the matter is that women can cook. i will agree paula is a little pervy but she is an old lady so i just overlook her bad manners lol

    giada…i personally like giada. her food seems light and easy and definitely is californian inspired. i dont know why people hate her on italian accent when she pronounces stuff…..geesh the woman’s name is italian! so big surprise she overpronounciates….maybe she just wants all you guys to say it correctly?

    michael chiarello never got the gay vibe and i just thought maybe he didnt want to have his wife on the show for personal reasons…saw him on top chef masters and it made me like him less as he came off as a asshole

    never like duff as i thought he looked dirty and eww. his workers never wore gloves or uniforms and didnt have their hair pulled back and/or covered. they just looked so unprofessional. im not pay $1000 for his cakes with his workers looking like that

    sunny. i LOVE sunny. she is a breath of fresh air and i always want to try her tex mex recipe. yes sunny is thick but lets be real….everybody watching her tv show is not a size -2 so its nice to see fn getting with the program. not to mention no one gives batali flack for being a big guy (i know batali cooking is a bazillion times better sunny) but why are we so hard on the women but soft on the guys….

    melissa BORING. i turn the channel. i wanted jeffrey to win. i rather watch trashy reality tv than bear her for 30 min. but im glad to say jeffrey has a show on the cooking channel

    aaron mccargo…HOW CAN YOU NOT SEE THAT HE IS GAY….or maybe its mostly white viewers watching fn lol. i like aaron bc he sounds black. and his food looks pretty good to me

    sandra….never noticed the alkie part of her but i never was impressed by her food.. its more like 100% store bought with 0% love or originality added to it. i watch her bc i like to see her tablescapes bc i am creative challenged. lol

    aarti party i’ve been disappointed bc i have yet to see any real indian inspired dishes. but i do like her personality i just watch spice goddess on cooking channel.

    tyler florence. i like him but he always made me so nervous on tyler’s ultimate bc he just seemed so rushed and going fast. but tyler can cook and he is great at what he does.

    guy fieri. i NEVER had the feeling of wanting to eat his food. he is better suited a tv personality than cook. love triple D….he is awesome. i believe that he has a sophisticated pallet that is not just being conveyed in mediocre dishes.

    ina. ina’s voice just drips of money. i mean after all who is able to go to europe as their honeymoon trip so soon after law school. but thats why i like ina…like one commenter stated she adds an understated class to fn. i do agree with her totally that is necessary to use *GOOD* ingredients. it can make all the difference. i mean u dont have to implement all her suggestions at once lol

    rachael ray. i like watching her shows but the burgers and soups get old and thats why i dont watch her as much as i used to. she has a bubbly personality but i dont mind her strange lingo.

    bobby flay. people give him flack on ICA bc they probably think he is too commercialized but i think flay is a damn good chef who has proven himself time and time again and i think he deserves to have his shows with his name in it as he helped create fn. flay is a beast. and i give him major props.

    aida. i was disappointed in her show bc her answers were so unhelpful. answering a questioning about soggy pie crusts in less than 10 seconds doesnt solve anything. still glad to see that she is around on the cooking channel

    claire robinson. i really dont have much to say about it. i was surprised when she became judge on food challenge

    neelys. the love thing can be over the top but i am glad to see a positive representation of black couples on tv. gina personality can annoy me at times but i imagine that she is that way in real life too. and i think pat really loves gina. and there food is not all that bad either

    anne burrell, i did NOT like her when i watched her show initially but she grew me. but u must remember that she was mario batali sous chef so she knows the hell she is talking about.. that alone gives her the right to wear only skirts/dresses and have spiky blonde hair and use of big meat lol

  334. Maddie says:

    The main thing I hate about Giada’s show is the fact that whenever she eats something crunchy, it seems like her producers/editors (I don’t know who does the job) put a microphone in her mouth to make the gross chewing sound extremely loud.

  335. Stacey says:

    I love: Paula, Giada, Alton, Marc Forgione, Alex, Sunny, Mario

    I’m OK with/can watch: Rachel, Robert, Neelys, Anne, Claire, Sandra, Emeril, Claire, Arrrrrron, Duff

    I HATE: BOBBY FLAY, Ina, Guy

    Never really seen: Aida, Tyler, Melissa (saw her on NFS but not her own show), Aaron McCargo

    There’s more I’m forgetting.

  336. Blondylox12 says:

    Have you ever noticed how much salt Anne Burrell puts in her food? My bf and I were watching her make some sort of dish, and she was like “Okaaay now for a pinchh of sallltttt” and procceed to dump literally a handfull of salt into the pot, ruining the food! Lady you need to cut down on that, thats not right!